The moonlight was bright, streaming a few rays into the room.

The premium hospital room was exceptionally quiet beyond normal standards. Yan Tingli’s movements entering were even lighter than usual, and Shi Sui glanced at Li Yin, who was still breathing long and evenly, undisturbed.

Shi Sui turned on the wall lamp by her bedside with her left hand.

She watched Yan Tingli sit on the sofa a meter away, his gaze greedily sticking to her.

Not approaching, not speaking.

Just watching her like that.

Shi Sui didn’t want to play a game of Red Light Green Light with him.

She softly called: “Mom.”

Hearing her voice, Li Yin immediately woke up: “Hmm?”

Having woken Li Yin, Shi Sui said somewhat apologetically: “I’d like to wash my face a bit.”

As Li Yin got up, she also saw Yan Tingli sitting across from the bed, dressed all in black, almost merging with the night outside.

She paused, understanding Shi Sui’s intention, and stood up: “Alright, Mom will get you some hot water.”

After Li Yin left, only the two of them remained in the hospital room.

Shi Sui said flatly, “Come sit closer.”

Yan Tingli’s dark pupils fixed on her face, his gaze flickering like candlelight in the dim lighting.

But for a long while, he still didn’t move.

Shi Sui didn’t know what act he was putting on now, saying weakly: “It’s tiring for me to talk from far away, my shoulder hurts.”

Only then did Yan Tingli move.

After a few seconds.

He finally moved his chair, took long strides, and slowly sat by the bedside.

His gaze quietly fell on her bandaged and immobilized right shoulder.

Noticing what he was looking at, Shi Sui’s black and white eyes looked back at him: “I did it voluntarily. You don’t need to feel guilty about it.”

“If it happened again, I still wouldn’t—”

“Switch with me.” Yan Tingli lowered his eyes, his Adam’s apple moving slowly, then murmured the repetition, “Switch with me.”

His voice was like thin snow falling into mud, sinking from deep to finally disappearing soundlessly.

For a long time, only vast silence filled the room.

The words Shi Sui had originally intended to say also stuck in her throat, unable to come out for a while.

She was silent for a moment, then first returned the sachet to her hand. Before she could touch his fingers, Yan Tingli reflexively avoided her.

It was just a flash, but Shi Sui still saw the crisscrossed blood marks on the back of his hands.

Already scabbed over, showing dark red underneath.

Yan Tingli’s fingers were the most naturally suited for piano playing that Shi Sui had ever seen.

Slender and pale, with distinct joints, his nails were also trimmed clean and neat.

Even though Shi Sui wasn’t particularly attracted to hands, whenever her gaze fell on his fingers, she couldn’t help but be drawn to them.

So she couldn’t help asking: “What happened to your hands?”

She reached out to touch them, but Yan Tingli avoided her without a trace.

His repeated avoidance made Shi Sui impatient. When she leaned forward, it pulled at her wound, making her frown and hiss in pain.

Her fingers were immediately grasped by Yan Tingli, including the sachet in her palm, all wrapped together.

His fingers were cold as ice.

Pale veins spread across the back of his hands, trembling, loosening, then tightening, then relaxing again.

Finally.

He brought both hands up, tightly wrapping her left hand.

His head also lowered, his cheek pressed against her fingers, for a very long time.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to let go.”

“I can’t let go.”

If there must be retribution, let it fall on him.

Yan Tingli had a sleepwalking expression, not knowing who he was talking to. Shi Sui was confused and somewhat anxious, pinching his face: “Are you possessed?”

As her words fell.

Her palm suddenly felt moisture seeping through, cool and sliding down, yet making her fingers tremble as if burned.

Realizing something, Shi Sui’s fingers curled slightly.

Emotions are contagious, especially in such a quiet, enclosed space.

Shi Sui sensed trouble.

Her deliberately cold demeanor was easily melted by a few crystal drops at her fingertips.

Especially since Shi Sui wasn’t sure if Yan Tingli was playing another mind game, she felt irritated for a while, then forcefully pulled her hand away, saying stiffly: “I’m not dead yet, what are you crying for?”

Her words were spoken in anger, not thought through.

But the next second, she saw Yan Tingli look up.

His dark eyes were still moist with fog-like dampness, his pale complexion making his eyes appear even redder.

But the look he gave her was fierce, his expression excessively cold.

He looked at her like this for several seconds, yet couldn’t do anything to her.

Finally, he just buried his head and bit her hand.

His teeth sinking into flesh.

You could see he was angry enough to want to bite off her finger, yet it was still just a pretense of aggression.

At the last moment, he still withdrew his teeth.

“Shi Sui,” Yan Tingli raised his thin eyelids, hoarsely scolding her, “you’re such a bastard.”

Always knowing exactly where to stab his heart and lungs most painfully.

Knowing her words had been too harsh and too spiteful, Shi Sui guiltily looked away without speaking.

She was silent for a few seconds until her emotions calmed.

Only then did she take a breath, look directly into his eyes, and say with determination: “Yan Tingli, I have something to tell you.”

Yan Tingli looked back at her with an indifferent expression. Shi Sui guessed that, according to his logical deduction, he had seen through her intention: “I don’t agree.”

Shi Sui ignored him, saying calmly, “I want to tell you, let’s end things here.”

The force gripping her fingers suddenly intensified.

Also trembling slightly.

Yan Tingli didn’t respond, so Shi Sui continued: “I’m tired.”

Still a long silence.

The air felt sucked out. When he didn’t speak, Shi Sui gradually found it hard to breathe, too.

“Yan Tingli, you monitor me, force me. I’m very afraid of you.”

Thinking of the dream scenes, Shi Sui’s voice also began to tremble: “I can’t be with you.”

Yan Tingli finally looked up, saying softly: “But what can I do?”

His gaze clung obsessively, examining every inch of her skin.

Shi Sui knew she looked haggard now, with pale lips, definitely not attractive. But Yan Tingli seemed unable to see this, his eyes as if trying to see through her, to carve her into his mind.

Word by word: “I can’t not be with you.”

“Suisui.”

“Suisui.”

Yan Tingli murmured her name over and over.

“I must be with you.”

Shi Sui was easily made teary-eyed by his calling.

In this moment, she seemed to see again the stubborn boy from years ago who insisted on watching cartoons with her.

The sour-sweet tenderness came flooding back.

But soon, exhaustion like a tide swept over her again.

Shi Sui still turned her head away, forcing herself to be cold: “I don’t owe you anything.”

“Taking this bullet for you, consider it my plea for you to let me go.”

After thinking, Shi Sui gritted her teeth and added: “If you could give me some money as compensation, that would be even better—”

Before she could finish, Yan Tingli suddenly stood up, staring at her, his eyes showing not a trace of light.

His expression was deathly pale, unclear whether he was laughing or crying, ugly to the extreme.

Shi Sui lowered her eyelashes, quietly waiting for him to explode.

“You want money.”

“You want money.” His voice dropped, finally disappearing completely.

She wanted money, but not him.

Shi Sui tried to steady her voice, finishing her words: “Unlike you, I’m an ordinary person. Making money is simple for you, but not so easy for me and my family.”

“If you’re willing to give me a breakup fee, I would be very grateful.”

Yan Tingli made no more sound.

“Drip.”

The clean white bedsheet suddenly bloomed with transparent droplets.

Shi Sui’s eyelashes moved, her fingers also suddenly tightening.

She slowly looked up.

This time Yan Tingli didn’t turn away from her.

He just stood there motionlessly with an indifferent, distant expression.

Like a child without consciousness.

Not even knowing his eyes were crying.

Until the teardrops slid down his jaw.

Yan Tingli seemed to finally notice something, his fingers wiping across his neck.

Looking down at the traces in his palm.

So everyone shows such an expression when helpless, even if that person is Yan Tingli.

Stripped of all twisted, cold shells, what remained was also the bewildered, soft interior of an infant.

“I don’t want to.”

Having no other options.

He was like a child rolling on the ground in a store, demanding toys, only knowing how to act unreasonably.

“I won’t break up.”

“If we don’t break up, I’ll earn any amount of money for you.”

There was no reasoning with him.

Especially seeing his reaction, Shi Sui couldn’t suppress the dull ache in her chest and simply turned her head to the side.

In the silence.

Yan Tingli spoke again in a muffled voice: “…I can change.”

This sentence easily brought Shi Sui’s memory back several years.

He had shown weakness in the same way, saying, “I can change.”

Shi Sui bit her lip: “You haven’t changed at all!”

Instead, you’ve gotten worse.

“That’s because you never loved me at all!” Yan Tingli suddenly raised his voice.

Falling into that memory, his eyes again became misty as if washed by moisture.

“If you hadn’t lied to me, if you hadn’t left,” Yan Tingli’s eyelashes trembled, and after a long while, he said, “Maybe I would have already changed for the better.”

Shi Sui’s heart ached as if pricked by a needle.

She was instantly struck speechless, unable to say anything.

Trying to organize her words: “At that time, I was fed up with being caught between you and—”

“What about now?” Yan Tingli coldly retorted, “I’ve cleared everything away. What obstacles are left between us?”

The room returned to cold silence.

Half a minute later, Yan Tingli wiped the corners of his eyes with his knuckles, his expression returning to cold clarity.

He knelt by the bedside, grasping her hand.

His emotions always detached quickly.

Especially upon realizing such wretchedness.

Yan Tingli domineeringly threaded his fingers through hers until they were interlocked.

“Suisui, I won’t let you go.”

“This matter is not up to you, much less up to heaven.” His tone was completely flat, expressionless, and direct, concluding.

“I won’t force you anymore, or monitor you.”

Shi Sui glared back: “Isn’t what you’re doing now forcing?”

Yan Tingli ignored this: “I want you to love me.”

Shi Sui looked at him for a long time.

At this moment, Li Yin, who had been waiting outside for ten minutes, tentatively knocked on the door.

Shi Sui immediately turned away, wiping her eyes to calm her emotions.

Yan Tingli also stood up, bent down, and kissed her forehead with his cold lips.

“Suisui.”

He was silent for a moment.

The next second, his voice drifted into her ears like falling snow, very light, very light: “I love you.”

Even after Yan Tingli opened the door, greeted Li Yin, and left, Shi Sui remained dazed in place.

Her heart ached and wrinkled.

—

Shi Sui spent half a month recovering in this hospital room. During this time, her flesh had healed, but her bones still needed more care, and her right shoulder was immobilized, preventing large movements.

In the evening, Li Yin helped her bathe, lifting the gauze to look at the scar, immediately tearing up.

She said sadly, “It’s going to leave a scar.”

Shi Sui didn’t care about scarring at all, only looking at her pitifully: “Since you can see it, please scratch it for me, Mom.”

The wound recovery period was the most torturous, itching every day until she was irritated and restless.

Li Yin immediately put on a stern face: “No.”

Shi Sui could only watch helplessly as she avoided the wound, cleaning other areas.

She scratched the bedsheet in itchy frustration.

After Li Yin finished washing, Yan Tingli and Shi Yue re-entered the hospital room.

Yan Tingli was also carrying dinner prepared by the maid, specially brought for them.

He came every day, staying the entire day, only returning at night when Shi Sui went to sleep.

Yan Tingli had been in Los Angeles this whole time. The company’s technical department was leaderless, with work piling up.

Several times, Gao Linhan sent messages, probing how many more days their honeymoon would last and whether Yan Tingli was planning to embezzle funds and flee.

Shi Sui was getting annoyed by the messages, and replying with one hand was inconvenient, so she casually tapped the screen: [Indefinitely]

Gao Linhan: [???]

Shi Sui didn’t reply again, watching Li Yin eagerly as she continued pouring hot water into the basin.

This was something Li Yin had only agreed to after Shi Sui’s strong insistence – washing her hair.

For a whole half month, Shi Sui could only rely on hats to cover hair so oily it could be used for cooking.

After pestering softly yesterday, Ms. Li finally agreed.

Li Yin was testing the water temperature when a voice came from behind. Yan Tingli suddenly said, “Auntie, you go eat. I’ll wash Suisui’s hair.”

“You…” Li Yin was stunned, looking at Shi Sui.

She pressed her lips into a line, not looking this way, not saying whether it was okay or not.

Yan Tingli argued: “I’ve washed Suisui’s hair before.”

Shi Sui said to Li Yin, “Let him do it; you can rest.”

“Alright.” Li Yin nodded, turning and pulling Shi Yue along, “Come on, let’s go eat outside.”

Although neither spoke about it, Li Yin could still sensitively detect some subtleties and deliberately left space for them.

During this time, Yan Tingli was less talkative than before.

In the same space, aside from polite responses, he wouldn’t initiate conversation to curry favor.

Li Yin felt this might be the real him, naturally cool-tempered.

What he had shown before was just sugar-coated exterior. In comparison, now actually made people more comfortable, like facing a more genuine person.

Not knowing if Shi Yue had the same feeling, she asked: “Don’t you think Xiao Li is somehow different?”

“Yes.” Shi Yue casually opened his lunchbox.

“Hmm?”

“Before marriage, didn’t I have to put on an act when meeting my mother-in-law?”

Li Yin immediately glared at him: “You think everyone is like you.”

Shi Yue smiled mischievously at her: “Not putting on an act means the relationship is more stable, right?”

Li Yin was convinced: “…I hope so.”

A woman’s sixth sense made her gradually sense that Suisui might indeed not be as comfortable in this relationship as they imagined.

But even Suisui herself couldn’t sort it out, so they certainly couldn’t interfere. Li Yin sighed, hoping they could each be well.

Shi Sui didn’t know Shi Yue had automatically categorized them as a couple with “better feelings.”

At this moment, she was just quietly watching Yan Tingli’s movements.

Washing hair in a hospital room was indeed inconvenient, especially with her shoulder injury preventing her from bending over or keeping her head down for long.

Shi Sui directed Yan Tingli to push two beds together so she could lie sideways facing him.

Yan Tingli had indeed washed her hair many times before.

But those were all during pre- or post-shower baths, tinged with sensual desire.

Then, he would also carefully lather her hair, then grab her chin for deep kisses.

Until both their bodies were covered in slippery foam, he would hold her breathless form tight, making her intimately pressed against him.

Often making Shi Sui feel suffocating intimacy.

But now, sunlight streamed through the window into the room.

From Shi Sui’s angle, she could see Yan Tingli’s cheek illuminated by a few rays of sunlight.

In the warm water, Yan Tingli’s fingers gently threaded through her hair tips, carefully working up lather.

The pressure was just right, attending to every strand of scalp.

When he was quiet, his excellent appearance and temperament gave him deadly attractiveness.

Shi Sui’s nerves relaxed, and she soon enjoyed closing her eyes.

Her vision had just darkened.

The next second, a kiss so intense it nearly swallowed her fell on her lips.

Yan Tingli bent down, his tongue licking her lips, sucking her saliva, completely different from the gentle movements of his hands – domineering and forceful.

She could even hear the greedy sound of his Adam’s apple moving.

These past days, Shi Sui’s attitude toward Yan Tingli had been consistently lukewarm, and with her parents present, he hadn’t had any private contact with her.

From this kiss, Shi Sui again felt the familiar burning desire and craving.

It seemed that if he didn’t have this sticky bodily contact with her, he would fall ill again.

The gentle young man’s filter that had just risen was once again completely shattered by Yan Tingli himself.

Anger rose in Shi Sui’s heart. Her left hand scooped up some water and splashed it on his face, saying coldly: “Who gave you permission to kiss me?”

Yan Tingli was suddenly splashed with water, but still didn’t give up using his tongue tip to entangle with hers one last time before gasping and pulling back.

The coldness between his brows disappeared. In his dark pupils, no trace of remorse could be seen, only unsatisfied desire.

“I couldn’t help it.” He looked at her suppressedly.

Shi Sui resisted slapping him, saying with a stern face: “Then this is forcing again.”

Yan Tingli was quiet for a long time.

You could see his eyes were desperately restraining him.

Shi Sui looked at him coldly.

The two confronted each other for a long time.

Finally, it was Yan Tingli who lowered his eyes, but reluctantly, like being leashed and forced to stop.

After washing her hair, Yan Tingli used the hair dryer the servant brought to dry her hair.

A few years ago, Shi Sui had medium-length hair just below her shoulders; now it reached her back.

Her hair hadn’t been dyed or permed much, so it was in good condition – fingers could comb through smoothly to the ends without tangling.

Feeling her hair clean again, light and fluffy.

Shi Sui’s mood improved considerably.

The moment the hair dryer was turned off, she was very gently embraced from behind. He didn’t dare use force, just sniffed along her hair tips, his cheek nuzzling her neck.

Yan Tingli seemed to have turned being close to her into a way to quench her thirst and reduce her anxiety.

Shi Sui was silent for a few seconds, using words to provoke him: “Are you having a sex addiction episode?”

“If I have a sex addiction,” Yan Tingli said shamelessly, “it’s only for you.”

Shi Sui couldn’t help wanting to pinch the back of his hand, seeing the remaining scars there.

She froze.

She didn’t know how these injuries came about, though she had guesses and instinctively avoided asking.

Shi Sui intuited that if she asked for the truth, she would feel bad.

When she didn’t speak, Yan Tingli continued saying calmly: “When I can’t find you, can’t see you, can’t touch you, I get sick too.”

Shi Sui: “So you monitor me?”

“If I don’t monitor you, I can’t find you.”

“If I can’t find you,” Yan Tingli paused, his breathing becoming irregular. After a long time, he softened his voice, “What am I supposed to do?”

Shi Sui stood dazed in place.

When she didn’t move, Yan Tingli began pushing his luck, his lips sliding down along her neck.

His breath trembling, calling her name.

“Suisui.”

“Suisui.”

Confirming her existence over and over.

Shi Sui felt that from when she was shot until now, over half a month later, Yan Tingli’s mental state had never recovered stability.

He was very abnormal.

Shi Sui opened her lips, saying slowly: “Yan Tingli.”

“I think you need medical treatment now.”

Yan Tingli’s movements paused, the atmosphere becoming somewhat cold.

He was displeased with this suggestion, saying indifferently: “I’m not sick. What illness should I treat?”

Shi Sui: “Your current state requires seeing a psychologist.”

Yan Tingli said casually, “Having you by my side works better than any doctor.”

Shi Sui asked him calmly: “What if I died?”

The hands around her waist suddenly tightened. Almost immediately, his emotions had massive fluctuations like a roller coaster.

But as if remembering her injury, Yan Tingli relaxed his hands again.

He refused to answer, so Shi Sui turned around, looked directly into his eyes, and asked again.

“If I died, what would you do?”

Yan Tingli slowly looked up at her.

His appearance was exquisitely beautiful, his expression refined and cool, even the curve of his lips was no different from normal conversation, showing her a smile, yet making Shi Sui feel he was terminally ill.

Yan Tingli smiled and said, “Then I’ll die with you.”