Done for.

She really didn’t remember where she’d put that ring. She thought Jin Yiken didn’t care, but who knew he’d been keeping track of this all along.

This matter was immediately in jeopardy. She knew Jin Yiken’s style. Once he set preconditions, they absolutely had to be fulfilled before he’d continue doing things. From large project contracts to small employee labor contracts at his company, he personally supervised everything repeatedly. So during the following days, she felt it was hopeless. She didn’t dare mention losing the ring either, just held it in. Held it in until Friday when she returned to Long Ziyi’s home, racked her brains for over two hours, logged onto Instagram to search for videos Fang Xuan had sent her, finding from the videos the clothes she wore when making out with him at the nightclub N months ago when breaking up with Jin Yiken—that was the last time she’d carried that ring. Then she went through all the luggage moved back from Yiming Bay. Halfway through rummaging, she remembered that piece of clothing had been left at the hotel when filming “Cold Cicada.”

Doomed.

After Jin Yiken learned of this, sure enough his temper came. He didn’t pay attention to her all evening.

Saturday afternoon at one o’clock, the ancestor’s anger still hadn’t dissipated. Long Qi’s phone sat on the coffee table, dialing a video connection to him. She sat on the sofa, holding a cracker in her mouth. The script and notebook lay on her knees. The air conditioning ran cold. Hair tied up high. She self-sufficiently used translation software to translate lines.

Qi Jie nestled by her knees. Wukong stuck his butt up with his head buried in the dog food bowl, like he was dead, not coming up for ages—only the huffing chewing sounds. About three minutes later, the phone messaged with a ding. Only then did Wukong turn his head around.

Thinking it was Jin Yiken, she reached for her phone from the coffee table. The message came from her mailbox—an email. Opening it to look, inside the email was a pdf file with a line of comment: I’ve also studied some French. Try using this as reference.

The PDF file was named “Suso – Lines.”

Suso was the role Long Qi had received.

Looking at the sender again, the email account was very simple and clear—just the pinyin abbreviation of Fu Yu’ao’s name. This person Fu Yu’ao was still as “helpful” as in middle school. Her thumb pad hovered 1cm from the screen, moving to the file download area but not clicking. Suspended in air thinking for three or four seconds, she locked the phone screen and put it back on the coffee table.

Sweeping the long hair that had fallen by her forehead behind her ear, she continued searching for information about that novel.

Information about this novel online was extremely scarce. Published in 2015, only two years until now—clearly not a classic masterpiece but an extremely niche literary reading material. On websites like Douban and Zhihu, there were also no discussion forums about this novel. Long Qi didn’t even know what it was about. Besides admiring the performance class teacher’s rich reading volume, there was no other way.

Just as she was considering how to flatter the performance class teacher, the phone dinged again.

It was WeChat, still sent by Fu Yu’ao. Previously during class he’d added her from the departmental class group. After the friend verification passed, they’d never chatted. Now he sent six characters: Check the email.

Couldn’t figure out how to reply for ages.

Then she simply took a screenshot of the message Fu Yu’ao sent, then screenshot the email message, opened WeChat, found Jin Yiken’s chat window, and sent them.

Staring at the screen—sure enough, less than five seconds later, “the other party is typing” appeared at the top of the chat window. Over there, he sent three words at lightning speed.

—You just wait.

Clearly not just the literal “wait a moment” meaning, but “if you dare download it, just you wait for this master” meaning. Not easy—it was five in the morning in England. Finally stimulated this ancestor who’d been playing dead all evening. She typed: Wait how long?

Just sent, then typed another sentence: Actually being self-sufficient is pretty good too. Just happens to have this reference.

Typing at the top.

Jin Yiken replied: Forward the email to me.

She switched back to the email interface, forwarding the email to Jin Yiken’s mailbox, then switched back to WeChat: You’re not thinking of referencing his, are you?

The email system prompted that the email had been delivered. About five minutes later, Jin Yiken replied to her WeChat: Finished checking.

She ate the cracker, thumb slowly typing: Really became the homeroom teacher?

The message had only been sent for less than half a minute, the cracker not even finished chewing, when Jin Yiken sent her a pdf file via WeChat. Not Fu Yu’ao’s one. After she received it and opened it, the first page prominently displayed a line of book title: “Ashes”

It was the novel’s translated name.

Scrolling down—preface, table of contents, chapter summaries—all had actually already been translated from French original meaning into Chinese, and had undergone literary refinement. As she looked, she sat up. The cracker was also set aside. The novel had twelve chapters total. Chapters one through four’s content had already been translated. Ge Yinling’s group chose to perform a plot occurring in chapter six, so their script only translated chapter six. What Fu Yu’ao gave her was also only chapter six’s lines translation for the character “Suso.” But Jin Yiken… had actually translated the entire book for her?

Though he hadn’t yet translated to that part, she was already convinced to the ground. The pdf even added each character’s introduction and personality analysis. Concise and clear—even if she didn’t have time to finish reading the full text, she’d roughly grasped the performance style. Immediately following, Jin Yiken’s message came.

—Want the homeroom teacher’s lesson preparation notes, or the vice class president’s?

This excellent bastard.

She smiled, typing: Weren’t you angry? How long did you secretly translate on your own?

He didn’t say anything, just directly threw over a screenshot of the operation to withdraw the file, meaning “if you don’t say something nice, this master will continue being angry.” Anxiously she sent three or four emojis in succession, then added one character: Want.

The phone vibrated again, but it wasn’t Jin Yiken replying. She exited the chat window. Long Ziyi just happened to send two voice messages.

First one: What are you doing? Called you, line’s busy. Hurry up, get dressed, we’re going to the hospital to get the checkup done. After I finish dropping off the little brothers at tutoring, I’ll come pick you up. Be quick.

Second one: Don’t hide. This checkup has to be done sooner or later. If it’s nothing, you won’t have to hang with a worried heart anymore. Today you must go. Hurry. I’ll be right there.

…

The quite happy mood felt like a basin of cold water suddenly poured down. Her mind blanked out. Originally preparing to type words to Jin Yiken also stagnated after the flashing cursor, unable to move forward. Three or four seconds later, she deleted the original praise she was going to send, typing: I’m going for blood test this afternoon.

But didn’t send. Her thumb hovered over the send button. She drew in a breath, then deleted the words again, re-typing the previous praise sentence unchanged, sending it, then adding another sentence: Go get some more sleep.

After all, over there it was only five in the morning.

Two in the afternoon, sitting in Long Ziyi’s car, passenger seat. Lu Zimu insisted on accompanying, sitting in the back seat now chatting intermittently with Long Ziyi about what to eat for dinner. The car played English teaching materials for supplementing children’s listening, probably played for the twins this morning. Long Ziyi even explained a sentence to the back seat: “Chu Yaozhi had no time. I picked up the sons from his parents’ house. The two of us didn’t meet face to face.”

“Who asked you?” Before Lu Zimu’s mouth could open, Long Qi lightly dropped a sentence.

Long Ziyi shot her a white-eyed glare. Lu Zimu laughed a few times, not following that comment down. But Long Ziyi seemed not satisfied enough, scolding over: “Pretty bold today, huh? When we get to the hospital entrance, don’t shrink back. Maintain your backbone. Watching you.”

Long Qi didn’t respond.

After driving for fifteen minutes, the car’s speed slowed, turning into the small road leading to the hospital parking lot. She boredly looked out the window. By the curb a few SUVs were parked, blocking the way. Long Ziyi honked: “Hey, tell me what kind of manners this is—parked like this, how can people turn?”

But no one came out to move their car.

On the other side of the road were also several cars parked. Long Ziyi looked at the road from the rearview mirror while unconvincingly turning the car. Right now the weather wasn’t good—overcast. Long Qi looked at the hospital back entrance with few people coming and going. Her breathing mixed with Long Ziyi’s unceasing muttering. The thumb holding the phone and the screen’s contact surface silently produced moisture. When she let go—a hand of thin sweat. When Long Ziyi’s attention came over, she wiped away the fog. No emotion on her face.

“Nervous?” But Long Ziyi still saw through it.

“Car’s hot.”

She pressed the passenger window. The window glass lowered. Cool wind entered. The hair by her forehead moved slightly.

After parking the car, Long Ziyi and Lu Zimu both got out. But she delayed not moving. Long Ziyi turned back to look, calling her once. Her forehead tilted toward the hospital entrance: “Get out.”

She sat inside, looking at them.

Long Ziyi stepped back, arm resting on the car window, car keys dangling from her finger: “Isn’t our family’s miss supposed to fear nothing? Where’s the backbone now?”

Words just fell—click.

Long Ziyi lowered her head, looking at the keys that suddenly disappeared from her finger. Immediately the car window rose, her arm pushed upward, her whole person gradually widening eyes: “Long…”

But before she could shout out the full name, Long Qi had already moved from the passenger seat to the driver’s seat. Keys inserted, car started. Long Ziyi’s palm heavily slapped the window glass: “Long Qi! You dare!”

But she just dared at lightning speed. No expression, no parting words. Turning the car head direction toward the hospital exit. Long Ziyi couldn’t hold on, ran following the car, forcefully pounding the car door: “I gave birth to you this cowardly, huh?! Get down Long Qi! You get down for me!”

The instant the car accelerated getting rid of Long Ziyi, the rearview mirror was hit askew by Long Ziyi’s bag: “If you’ve got guts, don’t come home! Don’t let me catch you!”

Stern and piercing, tearing through the sky.

So afterward, she went directly to school.

Ge Yinling, Nalin, Wu Yishan—they all went home for the weekend. She stayed a night in the dorm. During the day, one move of running away on the spot really angered Long Ziyi. She didn’t call even once. Peaceful. But in her heart there was always a block of mud dragging emotions wetly. Didn’t feel great about anything either. Sunday evening at dusk, on the sports field sporadically sat some students who’d returned to school early. Cicada sounds compared to midsummer weren’t so raucous. Evening wind gently blew. T-shirt cuffs lightly swayed. By her ankles sat two or three cans of beer. Arm resting on her knee, a half-smoked cigarette between index and middle fingers. She flicked it. The cigarette butt fell on the bleacher floor. She ran fingers through her hair. Hair flew with the wind.

A bit cold. She sniffled.

From the yacht incident until now, three months had passed. Actually she knew—Long Ziyi was waiting, Jin Yiken was waiting, Lao Ping was waiting, Wu’er was waiting. Everyone was waiting. It’s just that besides Long Ziyi, not a single person openly pressed her about it. Everyone was patient enough. But regarding blood tests, she still resisted. In her heart she knew that whether infected or not, the earlier the checkup the better always. But just couldn’t do it. The half-year deadline didn’t become her confinement, but rather became her safe period.

At least before getting results, she could still date, could still video call, could still remotely imagine some things about the future, could still possess Jin Yiken with imposing momentum.

Because Lian Shao Zi was right. If the results weren’t good, she knew better than him what should be done.

Drank a mouthful of beer. Cool going down.

Then coughed.

Then beside her came a click sound. A cup of fruit tea was placed on the bleacher seat beside her.

Following the sound, she turned her head. Fu Yu’ao’s foot immediately stepped down from the upper bleacher. Looking up at his forehead, he sat down, passing the fruit tea toward her, gesturing with his lips: “Saw you looking quite down. Here, hot, bought for you.”

Right now was five in the evening. Thin light clouds, orange dusk. She looked back again—just him alone. Ge Yinling wasn’t there. She replied lightly: “You didn’t go back on the weekend?”

“Signed several performance sessions with the bar, stayed at school. You also didn’t go back. Alone here feeling down about what?”

Long Qi didn’t reply.

Fu Yu’ao seemed to understand, changing topic: “Did you receive the email I sent? Sent you WeChat but you never replied. Really made me feel down.”

“Received it. Thanks.”

“Can you use it?”

“…I haven’t downloaded it yet.”

Fu Yu’ao nodded, lazily leaning back against the chair: “You’re really distant with me now.”

Long Qi looked at him. After making eye contact once, he picked up beer from by his feet. With a hiss, pulled the tab: “I’m also down. Keep me company drinking for a bit.”

“The alcohol is what I bought.”

Taking back the beer from his hand, putting it back by her feet, he picked it up again: “At worst I’ll sing for you to hear. How do you become a star being this stingy?”

After gulping down a mouthful, his cheeks puffed out. Elbows resting on knees, the beer can hanging between his knees. Squinting eyes looking at the sports field track. Long Qi pressed the cigarette out at the bottle mouth, raising her knees, leaning against the chair back, drawing in a breath, then slowly exhaling.

Quiet for nearly a minute. He drank beer. She watched first-year underclassmen dating on the field.

“When did you start smoking?” he asked.

“After starting high school, I guess,” absentmindedly. “Don’t really remember.”

“Do you still remember—what was your first cigarette for?”

“…In the dorm, had an argument with a girl who was a class officer. Felt annoyed, so I smoked.”

“Not very pleasant.”

“Whose first cigarette is pleasant?”

She drank another mouthful of alcohol, holding it in her mouth, slowly sliding down her throat.

Fu Yu’ao smiled lightly: “Mine was very pleasant. The day Yinling agreed to be my girlfriend, I was so happy I smoked three cigarettes in a row. But smoking isn’t good for vocal cords. I don’t touch them much afterward.”

“What was the name of that song you sang at the bar that day?” Her turn to ask, casually mentioning.

“‘Craving You,’ country music.”

“You sang it very well.”

“If you like it, I’ll record it and copy it for you.”

“Never mind, no need.”

Declined twice in a row. Perhaps the refusal was somewhat fast. Fu Yu’ao’s elbow rested on the chair back: “Is it because of Yinling that you’re this distant with me?”

“Am I distant?”

“Distant enough to almost bow and kowtow.”

Made her laugh a bit. Fu Yu’ao also laughed. After laughing, said: “Yinling’s personality is a bit stubborn. She minds my past matters very much, especially since you’re so famous now. Though she looks unworldly, actually she’s especially easily sensitive. About the script translation matter, I’ve been wanting to find a chance to chat with you. Don’t take it to heart. Don’t be down.”

Listening to the beginning was fine. Hearing the last sentence, she shook the beer can: “After all that, you bought me hot tea thinking I’m down about the translation matter?”

“By this tone, you think this down level isn’t enough? VIPs have many troubles, big star.”

She smiled.

“Though my life is a complete mess, the translation matter really is nothing. Originally it was preparation work I should do myself anyway. Rest assured, there’s not a bit of problem between me and Ge Yinling. Besides, that matter between you and me was originally a very distant small misunderstanding. Doesn’t count.”

Fu Yu’ao listened, nodding, drinking a mouthful of alcohol: “I’ve been worried you resent me all along. After all, I took advantage of you.”

“You can rest assured about this too. Afterward someone took even greater advantage of me. He occupies my entire resentment blacklist.”

After pausing a while, added: “But we really can’t have too much contact. Girls’ thoughts are different from boys’. Girls easily have insecurity. Keeping distance is good for both you and me.”

“Long Qi, you’ve really matured a lot,” Fu Yu’ao said.

Her long hair sporadically draped over the white T, lightly flying with wind. Hearing him say this sentence, she shrugged noncommittally without replying anything. Wrist resting on her bent-up knee. Very thin, very pale. The studded bracelet she wore slid to the middle of her elbow. Fu Yu’ao looked.

“Actually there’s one thing you said wrong, about that middle school matter.”

Long Qi looked at him.

The two made eye contact in the evening wind.

“That matter to you was a small misunderstanding, but to me,” he gazed at her, “it was a small beautiful thing.”

“But we now each have our respective beautiful things.”

The atmosphere quieted a bit more. Fu Yu’ao lowered his head. The beer can slowly turned between his two hands: “If I hadn’t left back then, could I possibly have possessed you?”

…

The silence after the question didn’t last three seconds. Also didn’t have time to wait for Long Qi to speak the answer near her throat. Fu Yu’ao suddenly turned toward her. The evening wind before his forehead was blocked. His chin tilted over. One kiss landed by the corner of her mouth.

Had an alcohol taste. Feelings difficult to control. As if still in that cramped closet from five or six years ago, that first kiss surrounded by the girl’s clothing, carrying a kind of sudden awakening infatuation, a kind of addiction that made blood boil yet had to be suppressed. Very intense, very vivid. But fucking hell, Long Qi wasn’t willing.

The second she was kissed, her brain exploded.

Suddenly sobered from alcohol. The peaceful dusk quiet conversation atmosphere also shattered. Less than a second later, she immediately pulled back and stood up. Reaction as fast as lightning. Two beer cans by her ankles were kicked over, rolling with gurgling sounds. This sound also “recalled” Fu Yu’ao’s “reason.” He stood up. She immediately looked around to see if anyone noticed here, then glared at Fu Yu’ao, dropping a low voice: “What are you doing!”

Fu Yu’ao’s explanation came out simultaneously with her questioning: “Sorry, I was a bit dazed just now…”

While speaking, he lowered his head, heavily supporting his forehead, looking like he’d really gotten alcohol to his brain. Very quickly looked up again: “Don’t tell Yinling.”

“You think I’m stupid to tell her about this? No, just because I’m not causing you trouble, you think you can kiss whenever you want?!” Gripping the fruit tea and throwing it at him. But ultimately didn’t dare make too big a commotion. Fu Yu’ao stood in place letting her vent. She was so angry the veins at her forehead were about to burst. Facing the wind, she ran a hand through her hair, pacing back and forth about four or five steps. Fu Yu’ao continued repeating the previous sentence: “Long Qi, however you want me to apologize is fine. Really. I really fucking had a brain cramp just now.”

“I don’t want you to apologize! I want you to rot what just happened in your stomach, Fu Yu’ao!”

“Okay!” He instantly replied.

But it was really fucking unfair, really infuriating. After she said the words that could make big matters small and small matters nothing, in her heart she still held a breath of resentment. Wished she could have Jin Yiken roll back from England tonight. She bit her lip hard, leaning down to grab her phone and jacket from the bleachers, turning to walk away. After two steps, couldn’t help turning back, once again heavily pushing Fu Yu’ao’s shoulder: “Ge Yinling minding past matters isn’t because she’s stubborn, Fu Yu’ao. It’s because you fucking have a problem! After today, don’t speak to me, don’t message me. Don’t get involved in half a bit of my business!”