She had once said something to Jin Yiken—that if the distance between them required a hundred steps, he could only walk ninety-nine toward her. He would never take that final step, and neither would she.
But now she abandoned her previous words and took that step herself.
When the snow lightened, it was also time for school dismissal.
The sensor door of the convenience store outside school opened and closed repeatedly. A few female students approached the counter to buy oden. Long Qi had just finished paying for band-aids. As she tore open the packaging while walking to the store’s rest area, Jin Yiken sat there on the phone, his voice quite low. She peeled off the adhesive paper from the band-aid and pressed it onto the wound at the corner of Jin Yiken’s eye. After applying it, she looked at a wound on his chin and wanted to touch it. He turned his head away slightly because of this. She said, “I’m just checking whether it’s external bleeding or bruising.”
The female students at the counter noticed them. One of them blurted out, “Holy crap, what’s going on?” then immediately covered her own mouth, using the small wallet clutched in her hand to tap the arms of those around her, eagerly conveying information through eye contact.
Long Qi looked toward them.
The several female students immediately turned around with obscure expressions, silently taking their respective oden. The store’s sensor door opened and closed once more, and they hurried away.
She sat down beside Jin Yiken.
At that moment he was still listening to the phone call. He didn’t say much in response, occasionally just a “Mm.” Finally, before hanging up, he said, “I’ll come back for dinner.”
It was indeed a call from home.
However, after the call ended, the two didn’t immediately generate any conversation between them. It was as if they were still in that ambiguous period after a passionate kiss ended. They also hadn’t spoken much on the road from the playground to the convenience store. Jin Yiken kept turning his phone around and around in his hand while she propped her head up, spacing out.
In the end, Long Qi brought up an old topic, but only got as far as asking, “Does your family actually know or not…” before being shut down by Jin Yiken’s “I told you not to worry about it.” After pausing for a second or two, she replied, “I really want to know.”
“They don’t know,” he said.
His reaction was quite quick—his head was still quite clear.
And he was clearheaded about more than just this. There were students passing by outside the convenience store, occasionally discovering the two of them through the glass surface. There were some obvious sounds of footsteps turning back, and some fragmentary words could be heard. He glanced outside the store, and some male students who happened to be passing by immediately dispersed. He said, “Do you still want Dong Xi to return to class or not?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then do you think it’s appropriate for the two of us to be like this right now?”
The thought crossed her mind that Bai Aiting would be going to testify for Dong Xi tomorrow. So if news spread now about Long Qi sitting side by side with Jin Yiken in the convenience store, the situation might very well develop in the direction of all previous efforts being wasted. So he picked up his phone, preparing to leave. Long Qi said, “Wait a moment.”
His steps paused slightly. He looked back at her. She said, “After you’re free, call me and let’s talk about the future, okay?”
“Also,” after Jin Yiken nodded, Long Qi called out again to stop him as he prepared to leave. This time he didn’t turn back, while she remained seated, looking at his back and saying, “Jin Yiken, actually I don’t really believe you when you say your family still doesn’t know. Your stress level will definitely be very high in the coming days. I just want to tell you that when you can’t endure it anymore, you can find me.”
After listening, he lowered his head and put his phone in his pants pocket, also putting his hands in, standing for a while in this posture of being prepared to face the storm. Then, without answering her, he still left.
After that, he never contacted her again.
After the school forum was shut down, without the protection of anonymous IDs, the speed and range of gossip spreading was greatly weakened. Long Qi and Jin Yiken’s fleeting appearance in the convenience store didn’t become a mainstream topic in the following days. Most people didn’t know about it. The main force of gossip still focused on Jin Yiken’s alleged misconduct toward Long Qi (there was also a portion of people who believed it was Long Qi who secretly seduced Jin Yiken first). Bai Aiting didn’t come to class the next day, truly going to Huaning University to testify for Dong Xi as she said she would. As for what became of Chu Yaozhi, Long Qi was too lazy to inquire, but he was certainly overwhelmed with troubles. In any case, he deserved it.
The main reason she was too lazy to inquire was also because she had come down with the flu. She got it on the third day after losing contact with Jin Yiken.
It should have been due to consecutive days of staying up late, braving the snow, and exposure to cold wind, causing her body’s immunity to decline. Her temperature remained consistently above 38 degrees Celsius. Her head was dizzy and muddled, but she didn’t ask for leave nor did she go buy medicine, spending all her time in the school library. During that time, Zhuo Qing came looking for her, bringing her medicine. He stayed there hesitating to speak. Long Qi said, “If you want to say something, just say it directly. The sooner you finish talking, the sooner you can leave.”
At that time she was still keeping her head lowered writing notes, not even glancing at him, and didn’t touch the medicine either.
Zhuo Qing asked, “Has your hand gotten better?”
Long Qi’s hand had been sprained by Jin Yiken before. It was still wrapped in a thin layer of gauze now. After Zhuo Qing asked, he also said, “I’ve already paid him back for you.”
She stopped writing, took a breath, then neatly gathered up the papers, pens, and books on the table. Under Zhuo Qing’s gaze, she threw things together and walked away. Even someone as slow as him could see something. Using taking the medicine for her as an excuse, when he followed her to the library entrance, he asked, “You don’t want me to hit him?”
Long Qi didn’t answer. Zhuo Qing immediately followed up with, “Have you two been in contact before?”
It seemed he also believed the second type of speculation circulating in the school. The glass door of the library had just been pushed open halfway when she let go, turned around, and looked directly at Zhuo Qing: “That’s right, I’ve sent him many text messages long ago. I’ve had a crush on him for a long time.”
Zhuo Qing’s brow furrowed slightly, but he immediately said, “My question just now didn’t have any other meaning.”
“Then quickly take my answer seriously, because that is exactly what I meant.”
As soon as she turned around, Zhuo Qing grabbed her hand, happening to grab the part where her tendon was injured. After he realized it, he quickly let go of her. Long Qi frowned and moved her wrist. Her other hand pushed open the glass door and walked out, leaving with an attitude of “even if you hurt my hand I’m too lazy to settle accounts with you,” giving Zhuo Qing quite a ruthless back view.
He actually wasn’t bad.
Compared to Jin Yiken, he hadn’t done anything substantially bad in the true sense. He hadn’t wronged anyone, hadn’t toyed with girls’ feelings, hadn’t harmed the class or society. But he also hadn’t done any single thing that a man should do. He retreated when he should have stood up, said petty and calculating things when he should have remained silent. On the surface tall and strong, but deep down he was an insecure child who looked down on the poor and sucked up to the rich. Long Qi had given him opportunities—he lost them himself. Yet Jin Yiken, who had been deprived of countless opportunities, forcefully won her back and made her willing to do it.
This was the difference in caliber between the two people.
Carrying books on the way back to class, the wind was quite strong. She coughed while sending Jin Yiken a text message, asking when he could return her call. Having finally walked with difficulty to the sunny spot in the corridor, she quickened her pace up the stairs. At this time, some female students’ warm greetings came through. Some footsteps emerged from the corridor entrance. Long Qi walked while lifting her head, seeing a small group of three or four female students at the ventilation opening. When she saw Dong Xi being surrounded by the female students in the middle, her pace imperceptibly slowed down.
While Dong Xi responded indifferently, she prepared to descend the stairs. It was also at that moment that her gaze lightly fell upon Long Qi who was below. Long Qi held books in her hands, wore a scarf, had long hair draped over her shoulders, and her cheeks were pale.
There was a halo of light around Dong Xi’s body because of the sunlight behind her.
Long Qi couldn’t look for long. Her eyes lowered because they were sore. Dong Xi was deliberately pulled aside by the female students. The bangs on her forehead swayed slightly because of this exertion, but her gaze remained on Long Qi. Every time she frowned slightly, her eyes became particularly beautiful—soft, carrying a watery feeling of having much to say but finding it difficult to express.
Long Qi stood motionless in place. Dong Xi was pulled down step by step. The laughter of her friends surrounded her body, separating the distance between the two in an almost arrogant manner. Later, when Long Qi lifted her knee, preparing to continue walking up, Dong Xi’s voice came from behind.
She first said to her friends, “Wait a moment.”
Then said to Long Qi, “Wait a bit.”
The rest time before lunch self-study was quite long. Dong Xi and Long Qi talked on the stands of the main playground. Dong Xi sat while Long Qi leaned against the railing.
Dong Xi opened first, saying slowly, “I sent you a message saying I would return to class today.”
Long Qi nodded, “I received it.”
After receiving it, she deleted it.
Dong Xi looked for a long time at the gauze-wrapped area of her wrist. Later she stood up, gently going to hold her wrist. Long Qi deliberately put her hand behind her back. Dong Xi’s hand fell empty.
In the cold wind, the fragrance between her hair and the fragrance on her soft knit clothing mixed together, blending into a scent that only Dong Xi had. Long Qi put both hands into her coat pockets, leaning against the railing with her head lowered, grinding the floor with the tip of her shoe. Dong Xi looked at her casual appearance for quite a while before gently asking, “What did I do wrong?”
She didn’t ask “Where did you change?” but rather asked “What did I do wrong?” She knew about the recent “scandals” in school yet didn’t mention them at all, focusing all her attention on the change in Long Qi’s attitude toward her, attributing it to her own reasons. Because of this, Long Qi fell silent for a while, sniffled, lifted her head to face the wind and said, “Nothing.”
Then said, “By the way, I want to share some good news with you. Nobody else knows yet.”
“What news?”
“I have a boyfriend.”
Dong Xi looked at her. Now it was Long Qi sitting in the seat while she stood by the railing sheltered from the wind. Long Qi supported her chin with her palm, her index finger lightly tapping her cheek: “So I can’t always be with you anymore. I’ll always have to spare some time for him. Also, regarding studying, you don’t need to help me anymore. He’ll help me. Thanks for taking care of me before. From now on, you can focus wholeheartedly on preparing for exams.”
Dong Xi’s silence didn’t last very long. Her long hair swayed and swayed in the wind. Her voice was also scattered somewhat by the cold wind, coming out thinly: “Can he help you with studying?”
“Mm, his grades are very good.”
“Is he Zhuo Qing?”
“No.”
Beyond the playground, in the teaching building, the lunch self-study bell rang distantly. Long Qi said, “In a few more days it will be New Year’s. I wish you in advance that in the new year all your wishes come true and you continue to rise. Alright, I need to go to class. Together?”
“Who is he?”
Dong Xi asked this question, but Long Qi smiled at her.
“I’ll tell you in the last second of New Year’s. Right now I don’t want to say.”
After speaking, she got up to leave. But Dong Xi’s voice once again rang out faintly, asking behind her, “Is it Jin Yiken?”
Long Qi paused.
After pausing for five seconds, she turned back to look at her eyes: “You got it right.”
At that moment, Dong Xi was somewhat stunned, standing in place without saying a word, a slight wrinkle between her brows. Long Qi then turned her whole body around: “Probably from when he was pursuing you, I started pursuing him. That’s right—it was because of staying by your side that I started getting in contact with him. We made our relationship official two days ago. Mm, right around when that incident happened. We had a little disagreement at the time and were accidentally seen by a teacher. Bad luck.”
Dong Xi retreated a little, her waist touching the railing, because Long Qi was walking toward her step by step, approaching right in front of her. For the first time, she looked down at her with the posture of a delinquent girl, saying indifferently, “So I can’t be good with you anymore, because I’m afraid he’ll shift his attention back to you. I sincerely thank you for taking care of me during the past period. In the new year, I wish you never encounter scum like me again.”
***
After having a showdown with Dong Xi, she spent Christmas Eve and Christmas alone, then finally endured to the last day of December. Long Qi really couldn’t hold on anymore. In the afternoon she asked for leave to leave early, went to the pharmacy to buy some medicine, then prepared to return to the apartment to sleep.
Near evening, her aunt called telling her to come over for a reunion dinner. She said she wouldn’t go. Long Xinyi even grabbed the phone saying, “Don’t you want red envelopes?” then lowered his voice to persuade her, “Are you stupid? The reunion dinner is when red envelopes are distributed. Our family has many adults—you’ll receive them until your hands are soft, okay?”
“Who are you? Do I know you? When will you repay the money you owe?”
Long Qi replied to him in a hoarse voice. He avoided the important and dwelt on the trivial, shouting, “Wow, your voice is so nasal. Don’t come. Don’t infect our whole family. We have small children here.”
After he finished speaking, he cut off the phone. Long Qi also hung up the call and turned off her phone at the same time.
After returning to the apartment, she took a hot bath. At that time, the TV in the living room was on, playing the local station’s New Year’s Eve party. Outside the residential building, there were continuous sounds of fireworks and firecrackers. She sat on the sofa with a bath towel wrapped around her hair, opened her laptop to browse the campus network. At this time, the online atmosphere was also full of family reunion vibes. Many people posted photos of reunion dinners. There were also many people tagging close friends on their homepages to celebrate the new year together. This was when it was easiest to see the intimacy level and boundaries between various small groups. For example, the class’s female class monitor tagged almost all the female students in the class, except Long Qi alone. Her accompanying text was: “Wishing my dears a happy new year in advance. Next year we’ll still go crazy together~”
Of course—it would be strange if she was included.
Bai Aiting’s account had also updated its status.
At this moment, her homepage should have the highest view count on campus. Jin Yiken had lost contact for nearly a week. Everyone thought he was avoiding the spotlight. Yet Bai Aiting uploaded two photos at this time. One was a photo of the reunion dinner set in the Jin family living room. The other was a photo with Jin Yiken’s mother. Jin Yiken’s mother’s temperament was in the same vein as Chung Chu-hong. At a glance, she was that kind of woman who lived her days refinedly and calmly. Long Qi had seen many photos of her at Jin Yiken’s home. She had also seen them once or twice in Bai Aiting’s albums. Every joint photo was used by Bai Aiting for public relations regarding emotional crises with Jin Yiken. This time again had a bit of that public relations meaning. Yet Long Qi saw another layer of meaning—that Jin Yiken was now being firmly pressed down by the elders of both his own family and the Bai Family.
She closed the webpage, combed through the wet hair on her forehead, buried her head in her knees, holding her breath for a long time. Finally she exhaled, closed the laptop, and went to the bedroom to sleep.
At that time, she forgot that her phone had been turned off since evening.
If she hadn’t been awakened by increasingly frequent firework sounds close to midnight, she wouldn’t have thought to turn on the phone to check the time at all. At that time, her head was at its dizziest. She stumbled three steps and two staggers to the living room to pour water. Not long after, she heard the sound of over a dozen missed call notifications coming from the bedroom. After drinking the water, she went back to look. They were all from Jin Yiken.
Placing the cup on the bedside table, she called Jin Yiken back. Outside the window, fireworks bloomed continuously, fine snow flew. The time was exactly 11:58 PM. All parts of the country were preparing to count down to the new year. The phone rang twice before being answered. She vaguely heard a burst of wind sound that only stairway ventilation openings would have. After pausing for a short while, Long Qi asked, “Jin Yiken?”
“Mm.”
His voice was ice cold, with some fatigue.
Long Qi said, “I was asleep. I just turned on my phone.”
Then asked, “Have you finished eating dinner?”
“Mm.”
“Is Bai Aiting still there?”
“No.”
“What about your family?”
Jin Yiken didn’t answer her questions one by one. He only stopped talking at the third question. Then, after some time passed, he asked, “Are you home?”
“Yes. At the apartment I’m renting. You used to…”
He said, “Open the door.”
Long Qi was stunned for a second or two, then turned and left the bedroom. As soon as she opened the apartment door, she saw Jin Yiken waiting at the staircase entrance. There was air conditioning and heating inside, but outside was genuinely bitterly cold wind. She wore only a short-sleeved shirt and home pants, shivering from the cold. Jin Yiken sat on the stair steps in front of her home. Indoor light fell on his shoulders.
He didn’t turn around. She could only see his back. She called out to him, yet he still remained silently in that spot.
Long Qi held the door standing at the doorway, waiting for him.
Later he finally spoke. When he spoke, his head was lowered. He slowly told her, “My family discussed it. I can break up with Bai Aiting.”
“But they want me to prepare to go study in England.”
“Bai Aiting is going too.”
Long Qi didn’t reply with a single word.
Jin Yiken’s tone of speech wasn’t quite like before. It was particularly calm, with a kind of “this time there’s really no way out” sense of destiny. She didn’t know what deep meaning their family’s discussion result had. Looking at him, he seemed slightly melancholy. She gazed at him, but this sentimental scene didn’t last more than three seconds. After speaking, he suddenly stood up.
The words of the previous moment seemed only to be a prelude to this moment. He stepped into this apartment with a kind of determination. Long Qi heard the sound of the door closing, heard the sound of fireworks bursting high, heard the muffled sound of her back hitting the wall. For one second she realized what he wanted to do. Before she could say she had a fever, her lips unexpectedly pressed tightly against Jin Yiken’s. In one turn, she was completely taken advantage of by him.
At that time it was 11:59 PM. There was still one minute until the new year arrived. Ceremonial flowers resounded through the heavens. Bell sounds came from afar. Long Qi’s hands were held tightly by Jin Yiken. Her head was dizzy and muddled. Her mental preparation wasn’t completely ready yet. He pressed her against the wall kissing her passionately. He had braved the cold wind outside for several hours, yet his actions weren’t sluggish in the slightest. Glass products on the decorative cabinet fell all over the floor, stepping out creaking sounds. Later he left for one second. Long Qi had a coughing fit. Jin Yiken took advantage of that second to probe his hand inside her T-shirt. Immediately after, her waist was lifted up by him. She left the ground. Her long hair, which hadn’t dried yet, fell onto his shoulders. Having no sense of balance, she wrapped her arms around his neck and was carried by him without a word straight into the bedroom.