Dong Xi asked her, if she walked toward her now, would there still be time?

Long Qi stood in place, hearing the sentence she had most dreamed of throughout high school, looking at Dong Xi who was only five steps away. The sound of wind was noisy in her ears, unable to cover the layers upon layers of gossiping voices. Her fingertips continued trembling.

This was just like back then when she had repeatedly recited Dong Xi’s name in her heart, full of affection yet hiding sorrow.

And now, her name was spoken resoundingly from Dong Xi’s mouth, infinitely tender, weighing a thousand pounds. But it rang out precisely at this moment. Long Qi’s tears fell for the second time, because her backbone had just been crushed, because she remembered Jin Yiken’s “game of human nature,” because she discovered what a despicable role she had played in this love triangle—indecisive, half-accepting and half-refusing, wanting everyone, unwilling to let go of either, thus creating the current situation. One step forward was one person’s abyss, one step back was another person’s hell.

Dong Xi was waiting for her.

She seemed to see a vague answer in her trembling body and red eyes, but even so, she reached out her hand toward her.

“Come back to the dorm with me first.”

Long Qi looked at her hand.

How piercing were the male students’ gazes, how agitated their breathing.

She wanted to raise her hand, but her hand remained at her hem. Dong Xi watched this entire series of movements with her own eyes. At that moment, she was already riddled with wounds. Long Qi looked into her eyes, slowly shaking her head.

Before, she had thought Dong Xi’s eyes were made of water. Now she truly saw a layer of tears in her eyes. Dong Xi asked her: “You’re really not coming back?”

That voice was also choked, also spoken while biting down on a piece of flesh from her heart. Long Qi shook her head a second time, wanting to speak, but Dong Xi cut her off: “Then I’ll wait for you one week.”

“Don’t wait for me.”

Long Qi replied hoarsely.

Dong Xi understood.

When she left, Dong Xi remained in place, while Long Qi’s lip wound hurt beyond measure. Her hand clenched into a fist, nails digging tightly into her palm. Tears fell wildly, completely unstoppable.

That grand drama watched by so many people finally ended silently with Long Qi’s resolute departing figure. So much gossip was about to burst forth, so many idle words surging secretly, ultimately stopping at Long Qi’s two head shakes. Dong Xi turned her head to look at her. Long Qi could feel the burning heat on her back, feel behind her, Dong Xi’s heart being gnawed at bit by bit. With each step she took, Dong Xi became more helpless, but with each step, she could distance herself a bit more from this love triangle she had stirred into chaos.

Deeply sinful.

At midnight, Lao Ping’s calls came eight times. Water vapor drifted from the bathroom to the living room. Her hair was half-wet, half-dry. Water dripped from her hair tips onto the sofa, forming a puddle of stains. Just like the previous seven times, she declined Lao Ping’s incoming calls and continued typing slowly on the keyboard.

Above the screen, AT notifications from her Weibo account kept popping up, each one carrying exclamation marks and question marks. Her short fifteen-minute stay at Zhongyu University had been posted about by multiple users. When the notifications vibrated until the phone body grew hot, she deleted the app.

Then she returned to the chat window page, typed the final period in the text message to Jin Yiken, and pressed “send.”

The moment it was sent, the chat window immediately gave the system prompt “Message sent but rejected by the other party.”

Jin Yiken had blacklisted her.

At that moment, her head buried into her knees. The phone slid from her palm to the tabletop with a thud. Lao Ping’s call rang for the ninth time. Five seconds later, she swept back the hair on her forehead, grabbed the phone, and with a backhand threw it at the wall! The clock on the wall was knocked askew. Broken plastic pieces and the phone body fell to the floor together. The screen shattered, went black.

But Dong Xi’s red eyes and Jin Yiken’s words still intertwined in her mind, cyclically torturing her nerves. She took all the beer from the refrigerator, pulled the tabs. Bubbles hissed upward. She gulped it down in one go. The spicy stimulation was just like that first wrong step she took in sophomore year.

***

The underground relationship with Jin Yiken wasn’t confirmed after the first time they had sex.

At that time, he had his Bai Aiting, Long Qi had a Zhuo Qing she hadn’t completely broken up with yet. She indeed sent Zhuo Qing a breakup text message in front of him, but also deleted his number from her phone in front of him.

Jin Yiken was on the phone with family at that moment (while fooling around with Long Qi, he had accumulated four missed calls from Bai Aiting and one missed call from his mother). He listened to the phone while watching Long Qi do this cleanly and efficiently. He didn’t express an opinion, didn’t try to keep her. When Long Qi grabbed her bag to leave and closed the door, Jin Yiken stood lazily at the foot of the bed watching her, back against the window, bathed in rain light. Only after the door crack closed did he shift his gaze, responding into the phone as if no one else existed: “Mm, on the way.”

They had secretly completed a two-way revenge against Zhuo Qing and Bai Aiting, then forgot each other in the rivers and lakes. Neither should be greedy, neither should disturb. How well they understood this tacit agreement and propriety of owing each other nothing.

This concealing calm was maintained for one weekend, until a Monday encounter with Bai Aiting at the stairwell.

At that time, Bai Aiting was holding a stack of test papers, hurrying downstairs with the bell, running right into the late-arriving Long Qi at the turn. Bai Aiting was startled, showing nothing on her face, but her steps retreated up one step, maintaining a small distance from Long Qi. Long Qi dangled her earphone cord in her hand, staring straight at Bai Aiting. The emotional tension between them was still tangled up in the previous rumor incident, but because seeing her made her think of that night afterward with Jin Yiken, the breath of resentment in her chest dissipated in a pathological way, transforming into a “can’t be bothered to settle accounts with you” smile. When Long Qi went upstairs, she deliberately brushed against Bai Aiting’s shoulder.

Entering the balcony, the homeroom teacher was brewing tea at the east side teacher’s office doorway. He caught her arriving late and called to her. When she looked over, she happened to run into Zhuo Qing walking out from the back door of the east classroom.

In front of Zhuo Qing was Long Xinyi, who was leaning half his body out from the front window of his own classroom, sunbathing while sneaking breakfast. Long Xinyi looked over at her following the teacher’s call, with a gloating expression, mouth still full of fried pancake not yet swallowed, greasily shouting: “Yo, so you still know to come to school, someone who stayed out all night.”

These words were probably teasing for Zhuo Qing to hear. Long Qi didn’t respond, continuing to walk toward the west corridor. The homeroom teacher called to her a second time from behind. Seeing she didn’t respond, he let out a sigh similar to “tsk,” full of senile exasperation.

Long Qi’s breakup text message to Zhuo Qing at that time, Zhuo Qing’s reply was: I understand.

As for Jin Yiken, Long Qi only saw him at noon.

At that time, she hadn’t planned to eat lunch in the cafeteria, so she took a box of yogurt to a coffee shop outside school. Coincidentally, Bai Aiting’s group was all there. When Long Qi pushed open the door, the girls beside Bai Aiting reflexively looked over following the wind chime sound, then thinking themselves subtle, patted Bai Aiting’s arm. Bai Aiting was propping up her chin talking. After being influenced to glance this way, she immediately reflexively looked toward Zhuo Qing across from her. And the person she had just been talking to was Jin Yiken, sitting in the adjacent sofa seat, posture casual, manner leisurely.

Jin Yiken was playing a game.

He was the last person to cast a glance this way.

Unlike Bai Aiting’s obscure and evasive gaze, also unlike Zhuo Qing’s long and melancholy pause, he looked at Long Qi for no more time than it took her to walk two steps. No guilty conscience, no deliberate ambiguity, truly like an ordinary “friend of a friend.” Long Qi pulled open a chair by the window and sat down. He continued with his legs crossed, playing his game.

Before revealing his rogue nature, Jin Yiken was truly a frighteningly sanctimonious person.

Long Qi’s seat was full of sunlight, warm and dazzling. She busied herself unwrapping the yogurt packaging. The plastic paper made rustling sounds between her fingers. The straw’s sharp end punctured the seal with a “pop.” As her lips were about to touch the straw opening, Zhuo Qing came to the opposite side of her table with a plate of waffles, pulled out a chair, sat down.

The straw opening paused 0.5cm from her lips. She looked at Zhuo Qing.

“You’re already very thin. There’s a physical test this afternoon. Eat more, maintain your strength.”

The girls at Bai Aiting’s table were observing this way.

“What’s the meaning?”

She asked bluntly, with an accusatory stance, but Zhuo Qing handled it easily, replying to her: “No meaning. I said I understand. You don’t need to worry about anything else.”

At that moment, her gaze unconsciously drifted toward Jin Yiken. Jin Yiken also finally cast a second glance her way, as if sniffing out the subtle atmosphere between her and Zhuo Qing, staring at her candidly and calmly.

“Then don’t talk to me,” gaze turning back, she took the yogurt and stood up, “I thought your performance this morning was quite good. Now it’s really a bit cowardly.”

After this scene at noon, in the afternoon’s physical education class, news about her and Zhuo Qing’s breakup began spreading like wildfire.

When she was leaning against the railing under the big tree by the field using her phone to search for part-time job information, Long Xinyi ran over to her side holding a box of shot puts for physical testing, asking with gossip: “The person you stayed out all night with on Friday wasn’t Zhuo Qing?”

She didn’t respond. Long Xinyi continued: “Hey, I thought it was him. I even teased him this morning. He shouldn’t have dumped you because he discovered this, right?”

She turned around to distance herself one step from Long Xinyi. Long Xinyi looked back toward the PE teacher, saw the PE teacher was joking around with the female teacher who taught the honors class, not urgently needing the shot puts, and moved closer to Long Qi again: “Or did you spend that night with Zhuo Qing? Then… not satisfied with that aspect?”

“Are you sick?”

She finally glared over.

At that time, male students from Zhuo Qing’s class were playing soccer on the field. Jin Yiken received the ball, bounced it once on his knee, then lifted his leg for a direct shot into the goal!

“Then what could it be?” Long Xinyi said. “Damn, you’re still not satisfied with Zhuo Qing? A top student like him looking at you is basically hitting the jackpot. At least we won’t have to worry about homework until graduation, and his family background is pretty good too!”

“Who’s ‘we’? If I stayed out all night, it must be with a guy? Why don’t you feel your conscience and ask who forced me to stay out all night?”

“Anyway, it wasn’t me.” Long Xinyi replied righteously.

“If you like Zhuo Qing so much, go get a sex change operation as soon as possible. Stop buzzing in my ear with your indirect probing, sissy.”

“Fuck!” He slammed the shot put basket on the ground. “Don’t talk so harsh…”

The rest didn’t enter Long Qi’s ears, because at that moment she was suddenly stimulated by the explosive pain in her foot, her brain going blank. Her body immediately bent down. Her left hand supported the railing, her right hand covered her right ankle. The shot puts in the basket rolled out with gurgling sounds. Long Xinyi stood dumbly in front of her, asking: “Did it… did it hit you?”

Jin Yiken on the soccer field was walking backward while looking this way. The soccer ball flew toward his position. He tilted his head aside, avoiding the ball.

Three hours later, Long Xinyi helped the limping Long Qi walk out of the hospital’s orthopedics consultation room. The school clinic had given her simple bandaging at the time, then called her guardian (aunt) to take her to the hospital for an X-ray. The hospital said it was localized muscle damage, applied some medicine and rebandaged it. Auntie was downstairs paying the bill now. About five minutes later, she came up with the receipt and gave it to Long Xinyi, while forcefully hitting his shoulder and instructing: “You brat! Go get medicine for your sister! You’re making me so angry. If your sister’s foot is ruined, I’ll break your leg too! Go quickly!”

Long Xinyi shrank his neck vigorously to dodge the beating, took the receipt and scurried off to the pharmacy. Auntie helped Long Qi sit on a chair, glanced at the time, and ultimately said: “Auntie didn’t ask for leave when coming out this time. Qiqi, when the brat comes back, have him take you home. Auntie has the night shift today. Don’t mention this to your mom first to avoid her worrying. You two take a taxi back.”

While speaking, she stuffed two hundred into her outer coat pocket: “Buy dinner too. Have Xinyi buy you some soup. Call Auntie when you get home.”

“Okay,” she replied selectively, “I won’t tell my mom.”

Ten minutes after Auntie left, Long Xinyi came back carrying medicine and drinks bought from who knows where. Long Qi stared at him while scrolling through her phone. Long Xinyi replied: “What are you staring at? Feels good watching me get beaten, right?”

“Super good.”

Then she reached out her hand toward him. Long Xinyi pouted and pulled her up, using a lot of force. Long Qi lifted her injured left foot, her right foot unsteady, almost falling. She pinched the flesh on Long Xinyi’s waist under his clothes: “Will it kill you to be gentle?”

“Holy shit, will it kill you to be gentle?!” His expression twisted.

“Hold me firmly.”

Under Long Xinyi’s half-assed support, she slowly “hopped” out of the hall. When they reached the hospital entrance, he finally remembered: “Hey, where’s my mom?”

“Went back to work.”

As the words fell, the support under Long Qi’s arm instantly disappeared. Her center of gravity unstable, she staggered and held onto the doorframe. Before she could vent her anger, Long Xinyi said first: “My mom’s not even here anymore and you still dare to be fierce with me?”

Saying this, he hung the bag of medicine on Long Qi’s wrist: “Take a taxi back yourself. I’ve got plans to go play online games. I’m not serving you.”

“Fine, but give me taxi money.” Before Long Xinyi took big strides away, she said.

“I don’t believe my mom didn’t give you money.”

“Then should I call and ask her?”

Long Xinyi wimped out a bit, unwillingly reaching into his pocket for money. After handing it to Long Qi, his eyes still stared reluctantly at it. His hand reached into the plastic bag, took out a drink, and began slowly unscrewing the drink cap.

“As if I want to spend more time with you.”

She put the money in her outer coat pocket.

“Are you thirsty?” Long Xinyi suddenly asked this, tilting the drink bottle toward her. Long Qi guessed what he wanted to do in half a second, but inconveniently mobile, she couldn’t dodge in time. She was caught off guard as he poured half the bottle over her. She leaned against the doorframe shaking out her sleeves, about to curse words starting with F. Long Xinyi came up urgently tugging at her jacket, “Hey, are you okay? Are you okay? Your clothes are all wet, take them off quickly to avoid catching cold. Sorry hahaha! I’ll take it back and wash it for you!”

The jacket was stripped off by Long Xinyi in a few moves. He completely ignored whether she could stand steadily. Clutching the jacket, he rushed to flag down a taxi on the street and dove in. He stuck his head out from the car window: “I still need this money to go online. My mom definitely gave you money. Go back yourself, be good!”

“Long Xinyi! All the money is in the jack…” Before she could finish, the car carrying Long Xinyi had already sped away into the distance. She was so angry her lungs were about to explode. “My phone is fucking in there too!”

On her entire body, only a transit card with a balance of 2 yuan and a string of house keys.

She asked a nurse at the consultation desk to help her to the bus stop at the hospital entrance. The nurse specifically asked if she had family picking her up. She replied: “My family is dead.”

The nurse shrugged.

Then she sat on the bench waiting. It was rush hour after work and school. Buses came one after another, all packed full of office workers and students. The doors couldn’t even close. As an injured person, she had no intention of trying to squeeze on. She might as well wait a bit longer. This hospital was also near a high school. Around five o’clock, at dusk, quite a few students from that school had gradually gathered near the bus stop.

Four or five girls chatting together in a group, also two or three boys standing separately.

Long Qi sat with her hand supporting her forehead, drowsy from the long wait. Later, she yawned, swept back the long hair that had fallen down, and while exposing her profile, discovered a male student sitting beside her at some unknown point.

The male student was looking at her.

The moment their eyes met, Long Qi sucked in a breath. Her fingers passed through her hair strands. She turned her head to look in another direction. The male student familiarly laughed behind her head: “Qiqi, what a coincidence.”

Fang Yang.

This guy was a male student from the class next to Long Qi’s in middle school. During the high school entrance exam, he got into an ordinary high school nearby. He was also a little tyrant who liked to provoke romantic interests everywhere, naturally narcissistic and arrogant. In middle school, he had been infatuated with Long Qi for a while, but his pursuit methods were terrible. He just thought fighting for her was the right approach. Long Qi had never spoken to him. Later, after they went to high school and parted ways, he still kept sending her harassing text messages. From the second half of sophomore year, he had long been on her contact blacklist. He remained covetous of her while unable to obtain her. Supposedly, he’d recently been showing her photo around campus declaring ownership.

She knew all this because quite a few middle school classmates who attended his school had asked her to verify it. She was too lazy to respond.

Two meters behind Fang Yang stood several buddies paying attention this way. Several people were talking and laughing, whistling, with an attitude of waiting for him to either triumph or return defeated. Long Qi now supported the backrest to stand up. Fang Yang immediately stood with her: “What happened to your foot? In this condition you still want to take the bus? Let me call you a cab? I’ll take you.”

After speaking, he actually reached out to help her. Long Qi immediately pulled her hand away: “Nothing better to do?”

Accompanying this response, the pile of boys behind let out a loud gloating whistle. Fang Yang used his hand to stroke his heart, laughing: “No, I’m helping you up. Aren’t you having trouble moving?”

“Are we close?”

“We’re so close!”

“Who said so?”

Long Qi’s proper and serious question, her face not showing the slightest smile, made Fang Yang’s familiarity finally restrain itself a bit. Then he smoothed things over: “I really see you’re having leg trouble. In your condition, you can’t even get on the bus, right? And I don’t see anyone coming to pick you up…”

As he was nagging like this, she waved at an oncoming taxi. The taxi pulled over to the side. She opened the car door.

“No need to be like this!”

Fang Yang’s voice was left behind with the taxi’s movement. Long Qi closed the car window. The driver started the meter, asking her where to go.

On the meter, the bright red starting fare “14” was lit. She asked: “How long to Jingchu Road, Jingchuan Complex?”

“Jingchu Road? If there’s no traffic, about forty-five minutes to Jingchu Road.”

She calculated the taxi fare for forty-five minutes, then asked: “What about Langzhu Mansion?”

“Langzhu Mansion is closer,” the driver replied, “about ten minutes.”

“Go to Langzhu Mansion.”

Around five-thirty, the car arrived at the Langzhu Mansion area. Before reaching the main gate, she could already see large gardens and well-arranged European-style villas embedded in the greenery. Almost no vehicles entered or exited at the main gate. The atmosphere was very quiet. The driver asked if she needed a receipt. She said not yet, she still had to go to a second place.

Then she contacted the security guard, had him pass along a message to the owner of villa number 68. The guard hesitated at first. Long Qi said: “Number 68 is a family with the surname Jin, that’s not wrong, right?”

“This…”

“Tell them someone with the surname Long is waiting for him at the gate. Just say that.”

Fortunately, ten minutes after the guard passed along the message, Jin Yiken came out.

This guy got out of school quite early. He’d even changed out of his school uniform, dressed casually, completely unlike her struggling-with-homework underachiever appearance. His attention wasn’t fully here. He was on the phone, talking while walking, pace neither hurried nor slow. When he reached the gate, the guard went up to give him directions. Long Qi was listening to comedy on the car radio with interest. Jin Yiken arrived at the car and knocked on her window.

The car window slowly descended. He placed his elbow on the window glass, lazily sweeping a glance inside the car, while replying to the phone: “Already ate.”

On the phone, a female voice could faintly be heard. You could guess with your toes who it was. Long Qi rubbed her thumb and middle finger together at him, blatantly asking for money. He continued replying to the phone: “Send me a message when you get home. I’m still not feeling well. Going to sleep first.”

Then he hung up the phone and opened the car door, tossing his phone onto Long Qi’s lap. Long Qi was bewildered by this sudden action, caught off guard as she moved inward. The long hair on her shoulders slightly swayed due to a gust of wind he brought in when taking his seat. Their shoulders touched, her left knee also lightly collided with his right knee. She moved another palm’s distance to the right, while Jin Yiken closed the car door. The car body trembled lightly. He said to the driver: “Jingchu Road, Jingchuan Complex.”

This entire smooth operation gave no reaction time. Only when the driver started the engine did Long Qi question: “Wait, why are you getting in the car?”

Just as she was about to tell the driver to stop, he said: “I’m going to Jingchu Road for dinner. Same route.”

“What same route? How did you know I live there?”

Jin Yiken clearly wasn’t smiling, but somehow felt like he was covered in a layer of amusement. He lazily spun his phone: “Then how did you know I live here?”

“Blame your girlfriend. Every week she posts a location status with photos of her playing with that dumb dog at your house. The whole school knows.”

“My dog isn’t dumb. It’s an Alaskan Malamute.”

“Looks dumb.” Long Qi slapped his shoulder with one palm. “Answer my question though.”

“I asked your brother for the address ten minutes ago.”

When Jin Yiken replied with this sentence, she turned her head to look at him. Their gazes met in the cramped narrow car cabin. His phone was still turning in his palm, once, then again: “The message was passed along like that. You looking for me means you’re waiting for me to rescue you.”

Three seconds later, Long Qi replied: “Borrowed it. Planning to return it tomorrow.”

“I’m going to eat dinner. Taking you along on the way.”

“Didn’t you already eat?”

“I haven’t eaten the meal with you.”

The meaning in the words was laid out crystal clear. Long Qi choked for a moment, while Jin Yiken pressed his advantage: “What do you want to eat?”

Soup dumplings.

Anyway, she had no money on her and no one was home. Long Qi wasn’t pretentious at all. After Jin Yiken asked this question, she gave an answer. Half an hour later, the car stopped at the entrance of a soup dumpling restaurant called “Ah He Commune” on Jingchu Road. Long Qi chose the place. She most loved eating the crabmeat soup dumplings and Wuxi steamed buns made by this restaurant. Plus, it was close to the residential complex. After eating, she could leave.

When entering, it was exactly six o’clock. The evening in early April wasn’t hot yet. She ordered two steamers each of soup dumplings and steamed buns, plus a bowl of scallion oil noodles with vegetarian chicken and steamed egg.

Jin Yiken didn’t move his chopsticks. He sat grandly on the chair beside her, smiling: “Not dieting anymore?”

“Not sleeping anymore?” she counterattacked.

Then she picked up a soup dumpling to dip in vinegar. Jin Yiken didn’t speak at that moment, quietly staring at her. Only after she finished eating the whole thing, when she was picking up a second soup dumpling from the steamer to dip in vinegar, did he reply: “I went to the hospital.”

“Oh,” she swept the bangs that had slipped to her face behind her ear, perfunctory, “Did you catch a cold?”

“I was looking for you.”

The thin soup dumpling skin was punctured by the chopstick tip. Sweet and sour soup mixed with vinegar flavor overflowed the soup spoon. She turned her head to look at Jin Yiken.

At this moment, Jin Yiken bent over, propping his elbows on his knees, his whole body leaning toward her, closing the distance for their eyes to meet: “Didn’t find you, so I checked your brother’s phone number and discovered you seem to be living more miserably than I imagined.”

Long Qi withdrew her gaze.

She drank the soup in the spoon, holding chopsticks to slowly roll noodles, laughing: “Don’t laugh at me, the pot calling the kettle black. I think you’re even more miserable than me.”

Under the table, she placed her right leg on his knee. Above the table, she blew on the noodles without looking sideways: “Why provoke me like this? Clearly interested in me to no end, but can’t step down from this position. Still pretending to have deeper experience than me. Poor thing.”

Finally blowing the noodles cool, while biting the chopsticks, she turned her head.

Jin Yiken was still looking at her.

His eyes had a subtext of “you really do seem quite interesting,” but their eyebrow and eye flirtation didn’t last five seconds before being interrupted by a voice from three meters in front of the table: “Hey? Auntie Long’s niece!” Long Qi looked up following the sound, seeing Auntie Xu, her auntie’s mahjong partner from apartment 202 downstairs. Auntie Xu was bringing her daughter who was in tenth grade, walking this way. Long Qi wanted to withdraw her leg in that instant, but her calf was quickly gripped by Jin Yiken’s hand. The playfulness in his eyes was especially strong. Long Qi coughed, cursing under her breath “let go, pervert,” then raised her head, just in time to meet Auntie Xu’s sentence: “Coming to eat dinner, Qiqi?”

“…Mm.”

Auntie Xu was farsighted. Only when she got close did she notice there was a Jin Yiken beside her, then asked: “Eh? This is… a classmate? Xinyi isn’t here?”

“He’s my brother’s friend. My brother went home to get something. He’ll be here soon.”

Jin Yiken’s hand stroked slowly from her calf to her knee. Long Qi tried to pull her leg back again without success. Her knee was firmly wrapped by the heat of his palm. This heat rose to her ear roots. Auntie Xu’s daughter had sharp eyes and a nimble brain. She tugged at Auntie Xu’s sleeve: “Mom, let’s go order first. I have a lot of homework today…”

The moment Auntie Xu turned around, Long Qi moved her whole body backward, forcibly withdrawing her leg. The chair hit the wall from excessive force. Surrounding diners cast a glance this way. She grabbed an empty teacup and threw it at Jin Yiken: “You’re such a…”

Jin Yiken didn’t block. The teacup landed solidly on his shoulder. At that moment, he quickly reached out to grip the position above Long Qi’s right ankle. If he’d been a moment slower, this injured foot wrapped in gauze would have hit her own chair leg. The teacup shattered on the floor. Long Qi’s heart jumped. The rest of her words weren’t cursed out. The service staff at the counter looked this way upon hearing the sound. Jin Yiken slowly released his grip. Only then did her foot properly touch the ground.

When he looked at her again, she was silenced.

“Poor thing,” he said.

Long Qi punched his chest once, using quite a bit of force. When Jin Yiken was in pain and stroking his chest, the service staff came up to check the situation. Long Qi said: “Pay the bill and pack it up. How much is this cup?”

At the same time, she took the wallet from Jin Yiken’s pocket, slapping it on the tabletop with a smack: “He’ll pay.”

Long Xinyi’s residential complex was old-style stairwell housing. Ten minutes later, Long Qi supported herself on the stairwell railing, limping upward step by step. Jin Yiken was behind her carrying the takeout bag, occasionally helping her, but she shook him off each time.

Later he really stopped helping her.

By the sixth floor, she was utterly exhausted. She leaned against the door panel to insert the key. Jin Yiken walked up leisurely. She weakly waved at him: “You can go… I’ll return the cab fare tomorrow.”

He said nothing, handing her the takeout bag.

As Long Qi received it, the lock core twisted open with a click. She prepared to enter. But Jin Yiken at this moment reached out to grip the door handle. The door that had just opened in front of her closed again with a bang. She didn’t stand firmly, pushed backward by the door, her back pressed against Jin Yiken’s chest. In the narrow space, she quickly turned to face him. He had one hand gripping the door handle, one hand in his pants pocket, saying: “Give me your phone number.”

Because she had deleted his contact information once, he was now actively seeking her contact information.

Long Qi didn’t dodge, facing his burning gaze: “Have a little sincerity. Break up with Bai Aiting first.”

Jin Yiken took another step toward her, about to press her entire body against the door panel. Their breaths intermingled: “Can’t break up. But you, I want too.”

“Scum.”

But Jin Yiken didn’t care about these two words at all. Their breaths grew closer and closer, heartbeats also increasingly clear. In the stuffy stairwell, the yellowed lighting, the faint residual pain from her ankle and a muffled thunder from outside, all contributed to the damp ambiguity of this moment. When the neighbor’s door suddenly opened, Long Qi turned her head aside. Jin Yiken’s lips rubbed past the corner of her mouth, kissing her cheek. The sister across the hall who came out with a garbage bag froze at the doorway.

Then immediately closed the door and went downstairs, with an attitude of “Don’t worry, I brought my own dog food, I saw nothing” self-clearing. Long Qi then reopened the door behind her.

Jin Yiken grabbed her wrist. Half her body entered the door, half still outside. She quickly pulled her hand away: “You can’t even give me the treatment you give Bai Aiting, yet you’re trying to devour me who’s hostile to Bai Aiting. Jin Yiken, your appetite is really big.”

“Your brother plans to stay at the internet cafe all night tonight. Your auntie doesn’t finish her night shift until two in the morning. You’re an injured person. How will you get to school tomorrow?”

The topic suddenly switched. She was stunned for a moment. Before she could answer, he continued: “I’ll come pick you up.”

“Your foot injury,” he said again, “I’ll help you nurse it.”

Long Qi supported herself against the wall, standing at the half-open half-closed doorway, looking at Jin Yiken who was calmly saying these things, as if the previous topic had already scattered like the wind. His phone rang at this moment. Her gaze moved down, watching him take his phone from his pocket.

On the screen, the three characters “Bai Aiting” were lit up.

When Jin Yiken slid open the answer key, Long Qi almost unhesitatingly closed the door, but he blocked it. Her strength couldn’t overcome his. The door remained half-ajar. He steadily held the door with one hand while placing the phone to his ear with the other. In the quiet stairwell, Bai Aiting’s voice mixed with electromagnetic waves clearly transmitted into both their ears: “Yiken, my mom heard you’re not feeling well and made you some soup. I’m preparing to bring it over now. Are uncle and auntie home? If they are, should I bring more?”

“They’re not.”

“That’s good. I’ll come over… I won’t disturb your rest, will I?”

Jin Yiken didn’t answer.

His eyes at this moment were truly interesting, calm and quiet, patiently watching Long Qi, as if his response entirely depended on her reaction. Bai Aiting on that end was seeking affirmation by calling his name. Long Qi’s chest rose and fell slightly.

When Bai Aiting called his name for the third time, and he was about to speak, Long Qi finally let go. The door panel hit the wall, fully open.

What a strong hint. And Jin Yiken was such a clever person. He directly hung up the phone and entered. Immediately after, the Long family’s door slammed shut from inside with a kick. A roll of thunder sounded outside the building.

For a long time afterward, she always remembered having that one time with Jin Yiken at the Long family home. And that time was mixed with vain, childish competitive desire, spicy and stimulating. It was her first wrong step.

Jin Yiken left the Long family home at six in the morning.

The sky wasn’t bright yet. Auntie was still sleeping in the master bedroom, snoring like thunder. Long Xinyi, who had fumbled his way home at four in the morning, was still lying bare-chested on the living room sofa. Long Qi’s outer coat was used as a blanket covering his belly. He slept like a dead pig.

Long Qi walked past the backpack, clothes scattered all over the floor. Holding her breath, she crouched by the sofa, feeling out her phone and money from that outer coat pocket. Then she placed the cigarettes, lighter, and various adult discs that Long Xinyi had secretly stashed for a long time in the most conspicuous position on the coffee table. She also put one in the DVD player that had been gathering dust for ages in the TV cabinet, turned on the TV, and stuffed the remote control into Long Xinyi’s hand.

After doing all this, she quietly left. Jin Yiken was leaning at the stairwell entrance using his phone to call a car. She closed the security door and handed him money: “Here.”

He glanced sideways, not quite there. Long Qi said cab fare. Only then did he look at her a second time. His facial expression wasn’t particularly joyful, but he’d somewhat figured out her temperament. He didn’t take the money, asking for her phone.

“What for?”

She took out her phone and gave it to him. He opened the WeChat page and entered his own WeChat number: “I don’t use cash. You can transfer it to me online.”

So Jin Yiken obtained her contact information this way.

After going downstairs, he bought her soy milk and breakfast. Long Qi’s foot could already touch the ground. Though still somewhat lame, it didn’t affect walking short distances. Jin Yiken had to go home first before going to school. He wanted to take her along, but she refused to follow Jin Yiken on a big detour, also refused to let him call her another car. She only accepted taking his ride to the nearby subway station first, then taking the subway to school herself.

Early morning at six o’clock, the sky was misty. Traffic on the road was sparse. Waves of chilly wind. Only the soy milk in her hands was warm. During the process of waiting for the car, Long Qi stared blankly at the road, while Jin Yiken, after finishing his phone call with the driver to confirm the time, suddenly reached his arm across her waist. The still-dazed Long Qi was pulled backward by him into his embrace. Her shoulder received the weight of his chin. He held her from behind like this, truly like a proper couple. She was too drowsy to bother speaking. In the cold early morning of early April, they warmed each other.

Later, Jin Yiken took her to the subway station. She boarded the early subway alone.

On the subway, biting bread, listening to music while having nothing to do, she searched “Jin Yiken” on the campus forum. There were over a hundred discussion threads about him. Surprisingly, only three or four threads were related to Bai Aiting. Only then did she realize what a prominent person he was. Later, clicking into his homepage, she happened to run into a new status he’d just posted.

A photo of a corner of her room window taken at some unknown time. The old windowsill, the bleak street scene outside the windowsill, sky not yet bright, streetlights on. But the caption was: Morning Sun.

She imagined at this moment Jin Yiken was sitting in the back seat, his finger having just pressed the send button, then perhaps beginning to catch up on sleep, or perhaps beginning to recall details of sharing a bed with her last night. She felt the former possibility was more likely.

Then the phone’s vibration delivered a third possibility to her. A message notification popped up at the top of the screen. Jin Yiken sent a sentence.

—I’ll pick you up for dinner tonight.

Long Qi looked at these six characters. The bread in her mouth slowly chewed. Her finger paused on the keyboard for a long time. Later she didn’t reply, stuffing it back in her outer coat pocket.

At that time, she noticed the person sitting in the seat across the car.

A girl, wearing the same school uniform as hers, with a light lavender thin knit cardigan over it. A book rested on her knees. She was gently turning pages.

Long Qi cast a glance her way. Her fingertips happened to be sliding across the paper page, making slight rustling sounds. Bangs falling from her forehead covered her eyes, but couldn’t cover the occasionally appearing slender eyelashes. Her movements were delicate, her skin milky white, her temperament serene and far-reaching. The more she looked, the more familiar she seemed. But because she didn’t lift her head, Long Qi only guessed she was a student from the same school. Later she didn’t look at her anymore, continuing to turn up the volume in her earphones.

About ten minutes later, the person across closed the book. Long Qi glanced over idly, seeing her stroking her forehead with her palm, coughing once. At the same time, she took out a mask from her bag and put it on, then raised her head.

Long Qi looked away.

On the early morning subway, passengers were sparse. Each car had only three or four people. The train passed through the tunnel. Illumination lights on the tunnel walls swept across the car in waves. No one spoke, only the huge noise of the train and tracks rubbing.

The third time she looked over, the girl was leaning against the chairback, a large mask on her face, eyes closed.

Long Qi’s phone turned leisurely in her palm.

At that time, she finally remembered the two characters “Dong Xi” based on the girl’s eyes. In her mind’s memories associated with this name, there were no negative impressions. She openly observed her. Dong Xi’s eyes remained closed, completely unaware of the examining gaze from across.

Moreover, the rise and fall of her chest gradually slowed. The finger placed on the book cover also gradually slid to her knee, seeming to enter a state of light sleep.

Long Qi smiled.

Her finger gently wound around the white earphone cord.

Later, with one acceleration of the subway, Dong Xi’s head tilted slightly to the right. Long Qi quietly watched, turning down the music in her earphones.

That tilt became an opportunity. Dong Xi’s body leaned more and more to the right, and to the right was an empty, cold chair. Long Qi put the last bite of bread into her mouth, picked up the warm soy milk placed on the empty seat beside her, and shook it in her hand.

Dong Xi slept lightly.

She took a sip of soy milk.

Sweet soy milk slid down her throat. She watched Dong Xi’s hair slide from her shoulder.

And when she completely tilted to the right, Long Qi finally moved. At that instant, the train rushed out of the tunnel. The first ray of morning sun flooded the entire car. Her silhouette quickly passed through the center of the car, one stride, one turn, one seat. On the floor was her shadow from the quick turn. Light flashed on her hair tips. A fragrance filled the air. As she sat down, the soy milk liquid in her hand swayed slightly. Dong Xi’s head landed steadily on her shoulder. All of this was silent, only the slight rise and fall of her chest.

Outside the train, between buildings, ten thousand rays of slanted sunlight fell on her and Dong Xi, condensing into an invisible golden border.

She turned her head to look at her.

Dong Xi was completely unaware. Between gentle breaths seemed to be a scent of books.

Long Qi’s finger tapped on her knee.

Then, Dong Xi slept on her shoulder for two stops.

Long Qi placed her phone by her arm, took two photos of her. The corner of her mouth lifted gently because of her. But when pressing the shutter for the third time, Dong Xi’s eyelashes trembled lightly.

The subway had just arrived at a certain station. Long Qi put away her phone.

The moment Dong Xi was about to wake, the train door opened. Long Qi stood up and left her seat. Dong Xi supported her forehead and sat up, while Long Qi walked toward the outside of the train without looking back.

She didn’t know if Dong Xi looked at her through the window, also didn’t know if she later remembered that on the subway at six forty-five in the morning in April of some year, someone had used her as a pillow for two stops and secretly photographed two pictures of her.

She only knew that was her second wrong step. Even in the long time afterward and through multiple emotional struggles, she kept thinking about two other questions.

Why did her life have to encounter Dong Xi after encountering Jin Yiken?

And why, after falling for Dong Xi.

Did she still have to fall in love with Jin Yiken?