At 9:30 PM, Team Leader Yu was still sitting in Lin the Electrician’s living room. The two middle-aged men sipped alcohol while watching Lü Xiucai and Guo Furong argue on TV. Yu tapped his cigarette into the ashtray, chuckling at the show while stroking the purring kitten on his lap.
“How could Yu Jin get drunk at home?” Lin asked.
“That troublemaker,” Yu muttered. “I didn’t even know Yu Qiao was hiding alcohol in his room.”
“Boys will be boys,” Lin consoled. “Yu Qiao is still a good kid.”
“Girls are easier to handle, Old Lin,” Yu sighed. “With three boys at home now, including Du Yongchun’s son, I can’t stand being there for even a minute.”
Lin laughed beside him.
“I’ll send you one tomorrow, no, two!” Yu joked. “I’ll take Yingtao with me.”
Lin Yingtao emerged from her room, freshly showered with her hair tucked behind her ears. “Dad, Uncle Yu, I’m going to bed!”
Lin quickly lowered the TV volume with the remote.
“Yingtao’s going to bed so early?” Yu remarked.
“Where’s Mom?” Yingtao asked.
“She went to Yu Qiao’s house. Yu Jin is sick, so she’s checking on him,” Lin explained.
At 9:40 PM, Jiang Qiaoxi returned to his dorm room after finishing his exchange class, looking tired and disheveled. His roommate had already made the bed and was preparing to sleep, as the foreign language high school strictly enforced a 10 PM lights-out policy.
Jiang would stay here for two days before returning home. He set down his papers and pen, then pulled out his phone to check the time.
“Jiang Qiaoxi, I unplugged your charger,” his roommate said. “It seemed fully charged.”
Jiang nodded, removing the battery from the charger and pocketing it.
He pushed open the bathroom door, turned on the faucet, and splashed cold water on his face. After a moment’s hesitation, he grabbed his toothbrush and began brushing his teeth.
Suddenly, the door opened behind him. Jiang looked up to see several classmates from the foreign language competition class.
“Jiang Qiaoxi, can we ask you a few more questions?” they asked, blocking the doorway.
Jiang still had the toothbrush in his mouth.
The roommate sat up in bed and said, “Guys, can it wait until tomorrow? It’s almost lights out!”
The classmates apologized and retreated, closing the door behind them. Jiang continued brushing, mentally counting down the seconds.
His roommate was still sitting up when Jiang emerged. “Jiang Qiaoxi, I might talk in my sleep. If I disturb you—”
“It’s fine,” Jiang replied.
He was used to much noisier nights.
The roommate smiled and added, “Thanks for helping us with those problems today. You’re nice! I thought you wouldn’t want to bother with us.”
Jiang glanced at him, nodded, and fished a lighter out of his bag.
At 9:45 PM, Lin Yingtao, wearing her pajamas, filled the cat’s water bowl and watered the evergreen plant by the window. She sat on the edge of her bed, slowly combing her hair, which had grown long and needed a trim.
Yingtao looked up, trying to pluck an eyelash to see how long it was. She sat for a while longer, taking deep breaths out of boredom. Suddenly, her phone vibrated on the table, startling her.
A new message appeared on the screen from Du Shang:
[Yingtao, do you know the password for Yu Jin’s electronic dictionary??]
Yingtao replied: “I’m busy today, don’t text me!”
Du Shang quickly responded:
[It’s Qin Yeyun’s birthday!!!]
Despite her annoyance and desire to cut ties with Du Shang, Yingtao was surprised. She replied: “Really??”
At 9:55 PM, Jiang Qiaoxi sat on the toilet lid in the bathroom, smoking and reading a book. His lighter and cigarette pack lay nearby, with ashes scattered on the floor.
Through the door, he could hear his temporary roommate calling home.
“Alright, Mom! I’ll be back the day after tomorrow! I’m sharing a room with Jiang Qiaoxi, you know who that is? This year’s top student in the province! Of course, I’m taking this chance to study… Okay, okay, it’s almost lights out! Just… just buy whatever you want. I’ll… have Peking duck!”
Suddenly, the lights went out.
Jiang sat in the darkness, glancing up at the ceiling. A red ember glowed between his fingers. He pulled out his phone from his pocket.
The screen lit up as he scrolled through his contacts. He had few friends, so he found the number quickly.
Lin Yingtao turned off her bedroom light, pretending to be asleep. She slipped under the covers with earphones in, opening an old diary by her pillow.
Using the faint light from her bedside, Yingtao silently read the diary entries. How long ago were these written? The handwriting was blurred by water stains, and the pages were uneven, also seemingly water-damaged.
Buzz buzz buzz — her phone screen lit up on the pillow.
Yingtao put down the diary and leaned over to look.
It was an incoming call from an unknown number.
Yingtao lay by the headboard, her long hair falling over her face and onto the phone screen, covering the unknown number.
The screen remained lit for 56 seconds before changing to a missed call notification. Yingtao stared at the screen, stunned for a moment, watching it gradually darken.
She turned back, lying on her pillow. She found herself taking deep breaths again, feeling nervous and unable to control it. She reopened the diary, leaning in close to try and count how many times she had called Jiang Qiaoxi as a child, but she couldn’t keep track.
Especially during sixth grade, when she was often too busy crying to write clearly in her diary.
The writing was messy. Yingtao flipped through the pages, finding several filled with a dejected elementary student’s watercolor scribbles, or simply tear-stained blank pages.
“Yu Qiao and Du Shang called me today. You can call Qunshan from the provincial capital,” one clear sentence read. “Why doesn’t Jiang Qiaoxi call me?”
In her earphones, a female singer sang about hardship, happiness, endurance, and devotion.
Yingtao hugged the diary to her chest. It felt like she was embracing not just a notebook she’d kept for years, but a slightly foolish little girl, always on the verge of tears. Even Yingtao felt sorry for her.
Outside, moonlight filtered hazily through Yingtao’s window.
Her phone buzzed again on the pillow.
Yingtao leaned over.
It was the same unknown number, calling again at exactly 10:10 PM.
Yingtao went to the living room, where her father and Uncle Yu were still watching “My Own Swordsman.” “Why are you up?” they asked.
“Dad, I need to use your phone,” she said.
Yingtao sat on a small stool in the kitchen and called Cai Fangyuan’s house. Cai’s father answered: “Fangyuan! Fangyuan! Yingtao’s calling for you!”
Cai Fangyuan took the phone: “What time is it, sister?”
Yingtao, her voice nasal, asked: “Do you know Jiang Qiaoxi’s phone number?”
Cai Fangyuan paused, surprised.
“He asked me for your number a few days ago,” Cai said, putting down the receiver to find his phone. After a moment, he returned. “I’ll read it to you.”
Yingtao wrote the numbers on her palm with a pen, her hand sweaty, and traced over them again.
She hung up her father’s phone and closed her bedroom door. Yingtao lay back on her bed, looking at her phone screen.
There were now two missed calls.
Yingtao opened her palm and compared the numbers.
She suddenly sniffled.
At 10:30 PM sharp, Yingtao’s phone rang again. She lay on her side in bed, eyes wide open. Her pillow was wet in one spot, and her damp hair clung uncomfortably to her cheek. Yingtao hugged the diary, squeezing her eyes shut fiercely.
After another fifteen minutes, Yingtao lay with her eyes open, watching her phone.
She heard her mother return home outside the bedroom. Her mother said Yu Jin’s fever had broken. Uncle Yu seemed to be leaving, saying goodbye to her father.
Suddenly, her phone buzzed again.
Yingtao was startled, holding her breath as she looked at the lit-up screen.
Hiding under the covers, she thought about how much she hated him, hated Jiang Qiaoxi.
Yet she also felt afraid and worried.
Soon, the screen darkened again.
Yingtao’s heart sank.
She turned over on her pillow, moving to the dry side.
Her bedroom door opened. Yingtao squeezed her eyes shut, pretending to sleep. She felt her mother approach, tucking in her blanket and taking away the old diary from her hands.
Her mother quickly left, closing the door.
Yingtao opened her eyes in the darkness, seeing the stray kitten she’d brought back from South School standing in front of her, licking her cheek.
Yingtao fell asleep feeling lost and sad. She wasn’t sure what she was doing, only that her heart was filled with too many complex emotions to untangle. From when she was eleven until now at sixteen, Yingtao no longer struggled with studying or solving problems, but thinking about Jiang Qiaoxi and the past still made her heart ache uncomfortably.
“Jiang Qiaoxi.”
Those three words were full of humiliating, unpleasant experiences, mockery, and sarcasm. Jiang Qiaoxi’s photo hung at the top of the honor roll, so far away from Yingtao. He was no longer the boy who would sit on Yingtao’s bamboo mat, forcing her to do homework, playing games with her, watching her laugh and play, sharing shrimp chips, feeding rabbits, and listening to music together on her small bed.
Nothing stays the same forever.
Yingtao must have sweated in her sleep. When she woke in the morning, her pillow was still damp, as was the hair on her neck. She woke to sunlight peeking through the curtains.
Yingtao saw her phone beside her pillow and felt confused, trying to remember what had happened the night before.
A new message from Jiang Qiaoxi:
[Yingtao, I’m sorry.]
Yingtao looked down at her phone screen.
She opened her eyes, stunned, staring at the words.
She unlocked the screen and entered her inbox to see the full message.
Sent at 2:54 AM, it had arrived in the middle of the night.
Bird songs drifted in from outside, and a small figure jumped onto Yingtao’s desk, approaching the window.
Meow! It was the small kitten, trying to act fierce like a tiger.
Yingtao watched, suddenly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She opened them again, but her vision quickly blurred once more.
At 7:10 AM, Yingtao had just taken off her pajamas and put on the Peter Pan collar shirt worn under her school uniform. She wiped her nose with tissues, scattering them everywhere.
Her phone, lying on the bed, suddenly buzzed again.
Yingtao had been about to go wash her face, but she froze.
She picked up the phone.
“Yingtao?” Jiang Qiaoxi asked from the other end.
Yingtao took a deep breath and held the phone to her ear.
“Are you up?” Jiang Qiaoxi said.
“Mm-hmm,” Yingtao mumbled in response.
“I was worried you might have gone to bed early yesterday and missed the call, so…” Jiang Qiaoxi explained.
“I heard it,” Yingtao said, her voice choked.
She didn’t continue.
Jiang Qiaoxi fell silent on the other end.
Yingtao sniffled occasionally.
She felt pathetic, especially compared to Jiang Qiaoxi’s usual silence.
Perhaps Yingtao should have added: I heard it, I just didn’t want to answer. I’m angry with you. Why should I just stop being angry so easily? Why did I call you so many times—
“Can I call you again tonight?” Jiang Qiaoxi asked.
Yingtao was taken aback.
“Yingtao,” her mother called from outside, “why haven’t you come out to wash up and brush your teeth?” The bedroom door opened. “Oh my, you’re not even wearing pants yet. Look at your underwear and uniform scattered everywhere—”
Yingtao hurriedly ended the call. “Mom!!” she cried, “I was on the phone! Who said you could come in?!”
Jiang Qiaoxi stood at the entrance of the foreign language high school cafeteria. He peered at his forehead through the glass door. The call had suddenly been cut off. He looked down at his phone again, at the characters for “Yingtao,” and then tucked the phone into his pocket.
Just yesterday morning when leaving home, Jiang Qiaoxi had been relieved that he wouldn’t have to return at night. He could sleep peacefully in the exchange school’s dormitory and call Lin Yingtao without worrying about anyone discovering him.
But now, he found himself wanting to go back to his school.
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Our Generation – Chapter Notes:
“My Swordsman”: A Our Generation – Chapter-style period comedy TV series directed by Shang Jing, starring Yan Ni, Sha Yi, Yao Chen, Yu Entai, Jiang Chao, Wang Shasha, and others. It premiered on CCTV’s Drama Channel on January 2, 2006.