If school uniforms don’t count as couple outfits, then Olympic commemorative shirts probably don’t either. Yet as Jiang Qiaoxi led Lin Yingtao back to the hotel, holding her hand the whole way, Lin Yingtao caught a fleeting glimpse of them in a mirror outside the elevator. The image of her and Jiang Qiaoxi together burned itself into her memory.
Jiang Qiaoxi swiped the key card and opened the door. His ears were still red as he guided Lin Yingtao into the room, closing the door behind them.
Lin Yingtao wore cream-colored sneakers, a plaid school skirt that fell just above her knees, and the same size S white Olympic commemorative shirt as Jiang Qiaoxi. With her narrow shoulders, delicate knees, and slender calves that gleamed pale pink in the light, she walked into the entryway and looked around.
“It’s so big,” she marveled, her earlier nervousness forgotten in her excitement at seeing such a luxurious hotel suite for the first time.
Jiang Qiaoxi stood in the shadows by the door, watching her for a moment before setting down the books he’d bought at the foreign language bookstore and some souvenirs for his cousin.
Lin Yingtao slipped off her small white shoes and put on the oversized hotel slippers. Jiang Qiaoxi hugged her briefly before she began exploring the suite.
“Jiang Qiaoxi, why didn’t you eat the roast duck we brought back?” she called from inside.
Her voice was always pleasant, like fruit-flavored soft candy, never grating even when arguing. Perhaps that’s why so many people enjoyed provoking her temper and picking fights with her.
“I had dinner with you last night and lunch today,” Jiang Qiaoxi replied.
“Oh…” Lin Yingtao looked down at the roast duck box, not noticing Jiang Qiaoxi approaching. “I took some back last night, but Cai Fangyuan and Yu Qiao ate it all. They didn’t even leave me any donkey rolling in dust…” She looked up and smiled at him.
Jiang Qiaoxi opened the fridge, taking out two cans of drinks and two boxes of Häagen-Dazs. He pushed a small tea table between the sofas. Lin Yingtao bent down, rustling as she unwrapped the plastic packaging. She arranged the remaining snacks neatly on the table, displaying an inherent tidiness like her mother’s. As she leaned forward, her T-shirt collar dipped, revealing her rose gold necklace.
Jiang Qiaoxi moved his half-read math notes from the sofa and sat down. He watched her bustle about, reminiscent of how he used to watch her play house on her bamboo mat as a child, or like a husband contentedly enjoying the fruits of his wife’s labor without contributing.
Lin Yingtao wrapped roast duck rolls with chopsticks. Having observed her parents do this at home, she took a couple of bites before wrapping one for Jiang Qiaoxi. He had never been picky about food, having practically grown up eating at Lin Yingtao’s house in Qunshan. At home, no one paid attention to whether he preferred salty or sweet flavors.
“Do you want sugar with it?” Lin Yingtao asked, looking up.
“Can you cook?” Jiang Qiaoxi asked abruptly, watching her.
Lin Yingtao shook her head. “I can only make tomato and egg stir-fry, hot and sour potato strips, and stir-fried vegetables with chili peppers.” She handed him the wrapped duck roll. “But I can help my mom in the kitchen.”
Jiang Qiaoxi felt an even stronger urge to take her with him.
Jiang Qiaoxi grasped Lin Yingtao’s hand, leading her towards the bedroom. Lin Yingtao, having just finished her ice cream, still had the sweet taste of vanilla on her lips. She sat on the edge of the bed, her elbows pressed against her waist, looking nervous.
Jiang Qiaoxi looked down at her.
He was so tall, with a heartbreakingly handsome face. Even his silhouette exuded melancholy, making people want to embrace him. Whatever he intended to do, Lin Yingtao felt powerless to resist.
“Move further in,” Jiang Qiaoxi coaxed gently, bending down.
Lin Yingtao took off her slippers and scooted onto the bed.
Jiang Qiaoxi sat on the edge, his back to Lin Yingtao. He adjusted a pillow, then suddenly lay down.
Lin Yingtao knelt beside him, hesitating as she watched him.
The suite was exceptionally quiet, with only a few lights on. Lin Yingtao quietly lay down next to Jiang Qiaoxi, listening carefully but hearing no adult breathing from behind the large wardrobe.
“Did you bring your MP3 player?” Jiang Qiaoxi asked suddenly.
“Do you have an MP3 player here?” Lin Yingtao asked at the same time.
They both laughed after speaking in unison.
“I brought mine, but it only has…” Lin Yingtao trailed off, swallowing the words “TOEFL listening practice.”
Jiang Qiaoxi reached for his iPod nano on the bedside table. Lying on his back in the lamplight, he fiddled with the buttons for a moment, seemingly searching for music, then reached for the earphones.
Lin Yingtao sat up and leaned over him to grab the earphones.
Jiang Qiaoxi turned to face Lin Yingtao. He put one earbud in his ear and gently inserted the other into Lin Yingtao’s ear, beneath her long hair.
A song by a female singer who debuted in the new millennium played softly, crooning a foreign lullaby.
Jiang Qiaoxi gazed at Lin Yingtao for a moment before closing his eyes. He seemed to savor this intimate moment, lost in his private memories.
Lin Yingtao lay beside him, her hand near the pillow, eyes wide open. She reached out and lightly touched the scar on Jiang Qiaoxi’s forehead.
This scar, why was it still there? Why hadn’t it faded after all these years?
“Yingtao,” Jiang Qiaoxi suddenly opened his eyes and asked, “Do you want me to leave?”
When Lin Yingtao was younger, she often said, “Jiang Qiaoxi, don’t go to America. Americans are bad, America is dangerous. Don’t go, don’t transfer schools, don’t move away, don’t leave Qunshan…”
“Haven’t you always wanted to go?” Lin Yingtao said.
“Do you want to come with me?” Jiang Qiaoxi asked.
Lin Yingtao hesitated. “I… I don’t like America,” she said.
“Then do you want me to stay?” Jiang Qiaoxi asked again.
Lin Yingtao paused for a moment before parting her lips.
“You should go…” she said.
Jiang Qiaoxi looked at her, noticing the cherry necklace that had fallen out of her collar, beckoning him with its dazzling gleam.
“You should do what you want to do,” Lin Yingtao said softly, gazing at him.
Jiang Qiaoxi always remembered that day, a certain noon. He was at the construction site in Qunshan, watching Uncle Lin Haifeng teach Lin Yingtao to ride a bike. Suddenly, he let go of the handlebars. He allowed Lin Yingtao to ride freely, like a bird, a young eagle, unleashing her innate nature, fearless.
That deeply ingrained envy and jealousy had slowly disappeared from Jiang Qiaoxi’s heart.
Was it because Yingtao was treating him the same way?
Lin Yingtao’s eyes reddened. Jiang Qiaoxi pulled her close, filling the empty space beside him. For a moment, he thought she was crying. He heard Yingtao complain, “Why do you only have Stefanie Sun’s songs here? I want to listen to that Uncle Cohen’s songs…”
Dad said that living is like being a silkworm, a snake, or a crab. When the time comes, you must shed your shell.
Only by letting go of some things and forgetting them can you travel light and continue to live a better life.
It started raining at night. Lin Yingtao walked under Jiang Qiaoxi’s umbrella, their hands intertwined as they left the hotel. Tomorrow, Jiang Qiaoxi would start his classes at Tsinghua University. When summer vacation ended, he would go to Hong Kong to prepare for the AP exams next May. By next May, it would be almost time for the college entrance exams. Lin Yingtao realized that her chances to see him would become increasingly rare.
Beijing’s summer night raindrops pattered like scattered pearls on the umbrella.
“Yingtao.”
“Hm?”
Jiang Qiaoxi said amidst the rain, “My cousin is sponsoring my trip to America, but I should have quite a few scholarships.”
Lin Yingtao listened silently beside him.
It would take at least half an hour to walk from Xueyuan Road to the hotel near Renmin University. But they tacitly agreed not to take a bus or a taxi, choosing instead to walk together.
“So besides supporting myself,” Jiang Qiaoxi continued, holding the umbrella, “I should be able to support a family without problems.”
“Jiang Qiaoxi…” Lin Yingtao laughed, shaking her head at him before looking down.
He escorted her all the way to the hotel entrance. Before parting, Lin Yingtao stood in the light spilling from the hotel lobby, gazing at him.
In a shop in Zhongguancun, a TV was broadcasting news from CCTV-2:
“…On the 2nd of this month, Germany’s IKB Deutsche Industriebank issued a profit warning… On the 6th, American Home Mortgage Investment Corporation declared bankruptcy. On the 8th, Bear Stearns, the fifth-largest investment bank in the US, announced the collapse of two of its hedge funds…”
“The US subprime mortgage crisis is sweeping across the globe.”
“The Hang Seng Index in Hong Kong closed at 21,792.71 points yesterday, falling…”
Jiang Qiaoxi bought a pack of cigarettes at the counter and put one between his lips. He had been smiling when he parted from Lin Yingtao, but now he couldn’t maintain the expression. A muscle in his shoulder kept twitching, his lips trembled, and he felt something about to fall.
He desperately wanted to say, “Yingtao, will you wait for me in China? Don’t fall in love, don’t have a boyfriend. Just stay single and wait for me for four years, or eight or nine years. Wait for me to come back and marry you, to buy you a big house.”
Jiang Qiaoxi felt ashamed of himself. Only an utterly selfish person would have such thoughts.
Lin Yingtao stood at the hotel entrance for a while longer, but Jiang Qiaoxi didn’t return.
The rain continued to fall. Lin Yingtao was about to go upstairs but paused. She stretched out her hand, feeling raindrops hit her palm with a “plop.”
She curled her fingers, surprised by the sting. Soon, her palm was filled with rain.
Mom, Lin Yingtao thought, looking up at the overcast sky. Have I grown up?
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Our Generation – Chapter notes:
iPod nano: Apple’s 4th generation MP3 player, combining features of the iPod shuffle and iPod mini, released on September 7, 2005.