Qin Yeyun said, “Did you hear about so-and-so from Class 4? They’re going abroad together. The class president from Class 11 is applying for Nanyang Technological University’s independent admission. His girlfriend is from Class 17, and they’re applying together.”
Lin Yingtao curled up in her bed. On the last day of the Beijing elite school summer camp, while other students went to experience Peking University’s prestige one last time, Lin Yingtao stayed in bed at the hotel, whispering with Qin Yeyun, who couldn’t be bothered to go out either.
“I won’t get into Berkeley anyway,” Lin Yingtao said, covering her head with the blanket. “It’s useless to try.”
Qin Yeyun asked, “You mean Wang Leehom’s Berkeley?”
Lin Yingtao sat up in bed, her hair disheveled. After sitting quietly for a moment, she said weakly, “No…”
“You shouldn’t have let him go!” Qin Yeyun sat on the adjacent bed, her back to the bright sunlight outside. “A guy like Jiang Qiaoxi with his conditions would only revolve around you in Qunshan or the provincial capital. Once he goes to America, who knows how many people will be chasing after him? He’s got money, looks, and talent. He’ll be spoiled for choice and will probably forget all about you!”
“Qin Yeyun,” Lin Yingtao sat in her blanket, on the verge of tears, “can you please stop talking about me…”
Qin Yeyun frowned, probably used to seeing Lin Yingtao’s usually cheerful and thick-skinned demeanor, rarely witnessing her so dejected.
“What’s wrong? I’m just joking!” She sat next to Lin Yingtao and hugged this annoying little girl. She felt Lin Yingtao’s back trembling. Lin Yingtao was so delicate, yet she didn’t know how to act coy with Jiang Qiaoxi at crucial moments, which Qin Yeyun couldn’t understand.
“Look, he won’t necessarily forget you. He gave you cherries,” Qin Yeyun said. “The English word for cherry sounds like ‘cherish.’ Remember the reading comprehension we did before? ‘Cherish’ means to treasure, so giving cherries means giving something to someone you treasure in your heart!”
Lin Yingtao was moved by these words from Qin Yeyun, who usually struggled academically. But after feeling touched for just two seconds, she heard Qin Yeyun continue: “Besides, you can have your pick too! Du Shang likes you… Oh wait, Du Shang found a girlfriend… Never mind, there’s still your class president, Feng Letian!”
Lin Yingtao boarded the train home. Jiang Qiaoxi texted, asking if she had gotten on the train. On the surface, their communication seemed no different from before.
Perhaps they were both deliberately ignoring something, overlooking all the negative possibilities about the future, tacitly extending the life of a certain emotion.
Cai Fangyuan sat next to Lin Yingtao, eating sunflower seeds, and asked her seriously why she wasn’t going to America.
Lin Yingtao sat hugging her knees on Cai Fangyuan’s bunk. “Why should I go?” she mumbled, looking at him. “I don’t know anyone in America, and my English isn’t good enough…”
Cai Fangyuan asked, puzzled, “Don’t you know Jiang Qiaoxi?”
Lin Yingtao said, “He’s the only one I know…”
Cai Fangyuan blinked, lowered his head, thought for a moment, then nodded: “He’s always been like that, just by himself, you know. You can’t do that, I understand. You need someone to lean on.”
Lin Yingtao didn’t understand what Cai Fangyuan meant. She said, “I can’t get into Jiang Qiaoxi’s university anyway.”
Cai Fangyuan said, “You could apply to other schools nearby. There are plenty of good ones, and your grades aren’t bad.”
Lin Yingtao’s eyebrows drooped: “I only know him. Why would I go to a different school…”
“Scared?” Cai Fangyuan asked.
Lin Yingtao fell silent.
Lin Yingtao had hardly ever left home since she was little. America? What kind of place was that? Without her parents by her side, no other relatives or friends, knowing only Jiang Qiaoxi, having to attend an unfamiliar school, face an unfamiliar language, an unfamiliar cultural environment…
Du Shang said from across: “Why go? What if she can’t get used to the food or living conditions? Yingtao is doing fine in China. Unlike Jiang Qiaoxi’s situation, what’s the point of her going?”
Cai Fangyuan turned to Lin Yingtao and said, “I thought with Jiang Qiaoxi there, you’d be braver.”
Yu Qiao came from the next carriage with several cans of ice-cold Coke. He walked up to Cai Fangyuan and handed one to Lin Yingtao.
Lin Yingtao looked up at him with swollen eyes and took it.
She closed her eyes and pressed the cold, dew-covered Coke can against her eyelids.
Du Shang said, “Before when Yingtao was unhappy, she could always turn to us. If she goes to America later, with Jiang Qiaoxi’s personality…” He stopped mid-sentence, exchanging glances with Cai Fangyuan and Yu Qiao. Du Shang hesitated, then said, “Anyway, I don’t think it’s worth going just because someone else wants to. Right, Yingtao? Going to America is a big deal. Think it over carefully. You must have your ideas, and you should discuss them with your uncle and aunt too.”
The new school year for senior high school began. Apart from attending classes and reviewing, Lin Yingtao spent her time pondering what she wanted to do in the future and what she could do. Most of her classmates had clear goals, but Lin Yingtao was still confused. When Jiang Qiaoxi called, she mentioned this. Jiang Qiaoxi planned to study statistics for his undergraduate degree and had chosen this subject for his AP exams. His mathematical talent was truly outstanding, allowing him to try various things freely. But Lin Yingtao didn’t have such special abilities; she hadn’t even discovered her ideal major yet.
Perhaps she should follow many of her classmates and choose a major like accounting for better job prospects in the future.
But Lin Yingtao vaguely felt that this wasn’t what she wanted.
Jiang Qiaoxi told her, “You’ll discover it gradually, Yingtao. Don’t rush.”
Cai Fangyuan planned to study computer science. The website he had set up seemed to be developing well, occasionally receiving calls from advertisers at school. Lin Yingtao visited his home on the weekend because Mr. Cai had gone on a business trip to Chifeng and brought back two Inner Mongolian lambs in the car trunk. Uncle Cai had cut off two lamb legs for Lin Yingtao to take home for her parents to stew.
Lin Yingtao sat next to Cai Fangyuan’s computer, eating washed strawberries from a bowl and watching an American TV series called “The Big Bang Theory” on the screen, which was about American scientists. As she watched, Lin Yingtao asked, “Do people in America all live in houses like that?”
Cai Fangyuan, eating strawberries, looked back at Lin Yingtao and said, “Yeah, and Jiang Qiaoxi will probably have a blonde beauty living across from him too.”
Lin Yingtao fell silent, feeling gloomy. After a while, she said, “Look how detailed the subtitle team’s translations are. You and Huang Zhanjie used to just make things up.”
Cai Fangyuan said that Huang Zhanjie had been arguing with his parents recently.
“Why?”
“About his writing. He wants to study Chinese literature, but his parents insist on him studying architecture. His grades probably aren’t good enough for that.”
After entering senior year, Huang Zhanjie wasn’t the only one arguing with family.
Xin Tingting called Lin Yingtao crying from the south campus, saying her mother had seen her texting with their class’s Youth League secretary: “We were just talking about going to university together, but she insisted I was in a premature relationship!”
Lin Yingtao, hearing how upset Xin Tingting was, asked if she wanted to come over to her house on the weekend.
Xin Tingting sobbed, “My mom… she won’t let me visit you.”
“Why?” Lin Yingtao asked.
Suddenly, she realized the reason.
“Manager Jiang’s son is about to go abroad, while Engineer Lin’s daughter is left behind. What good can come from premature relationships?”
Yu Qiao signed up for pilot recruitment as soon as the senior year started. In October, he had to prepare for the initial screening while studying.
At this busy time, he received a letter, delivered by the class’s life committee member. It was a light blue envelope with elegant handwriting, sent from No. 2 High School.
Several boys from the school team gathered around, teasing Yu Qiao and trying to snatch the letter to open it. “Stop it!” Yu Qiao annoyed as he was working on exercises, reached out his long arm. “Give it to me.”
He stuffed the letter into his desk drawer and continued writing.
Lin Yingtao, sitting next to Huang Zhanjie, looked back at Yu Qiao for a moment.
In the evening after school, Geng Xiaoqing called Lin Yingtao to ask about the letter. Lin Yingtao, sitting on the bus, watched Qin Yeyun chatting happily with Yu Qiao in front. Suddenly, she felt a great sense of guilt.
“He put the letter away without letting anyone open it!” Lin Yingtao said honestly.
“Really?” Geng Xiaoqing asked joyfully.
Lin Yingtao made an affirmative sound, then after a while, hesitantly asked, “Xiaoqing, do you… do you like Yu Qiao?”
“What do you like about him? Did you get to know him while chatting in Beijing?”
Geng Xiaoqing said, “Yingtao, I’ve liked him ever since you first described Yu Qiao to me.”
Fewer and fewer students were attending regular classes. Some were preparing for independent admissions, others were making a final push for competition-based admissions, and some were preparing to go abroad, like Cen Xiaoman. Lin Yingtao heard classmates discussing that Cen Xiaoman was studying for the SAT and would go to Hong Kong next semester to prepare for AP exams. She planned to attend the University of California, Davis, just a two-hour drive from Jiang Qiaoxi’s school.
Lin Yingtao naturally felt some envy and admiration for Cen Xiaoman’s courage, confidence, and abilities. These were things she didn’t possess.
So what did Lin Yingtao have?
As the senior year progressed and she approached eighteen, this crossroads in life, Lin Yingtao found herself pondering such questions more and more.
Jiang Qiaoxi had been busy with schoolwork lately, often calling very late. Lin Yingtao sometimes wanted to hear his voice but didn’t want to continue the conversation, sensing how tired and sleepy he was.
“Why study so hard?” Lin Yingtao asked.
Jiang Qiaoxi said, “You used to ask that a lot when you were little.”
Lin Yingtao said, “So why? You’ve already finished your TOEFL and SAT.”
Jiang Qiaoxi said, “There’s no particular reason. There’s nothing else to do.”
“Can’t you go to your cousin’s place?” Lin Yingtao asked.
“I used to go there during holidays to play,” Jiang Qiaoxi said. “My cousin has his own life. I’m almost eighteen now. I should be independent.”
Lin Yingtao said, “Why don’t you get some more sleep?”
Jiang Qiaoxi said, “I want to chat with you a bit more.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” Jiang Qiaoxi said, suddenly laughing. “If there was a major that could make people happy, Yingtao, you could be a researcher in that.”
The music traffic radio announced that pop icon Jay Chou’s 2007 World Tour would move to Shanghai in late November, his only mainland performance this year.
Du Shang, whenever he had time, would roam around the school buildings. With a blushing face and his cap pulled low to half-cover his face, he would put up small ads in the bathrooms. On weekends, he would distribute business cards at nearby cram schools, promoting Cai Fangyuan’s strange website called “1990 Love Hard.”
Even the internet cafes in and around Experimental High School saw traces of Du Shang’s diligent grassroots promotion efforts.
Boss Cai Fangyuan generously paid for two 880-yuan inner circle tickets, allowing his good friend Du Shang and his girlfriend to have a blast in Shanghai.
The TV was broadcasting international news about the second summit between the leaders of North and South Korea.
“President Roh Moo-hyun and his wife crossed the yellow line and shook hands with North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. This day will surely go down in history!”
In late October, a large banner was hung outside Xinhua Bookstore: The Harry Potter series, which accompanied the entire childhood of the 80s and 90s generations, was about to reach its conclusion.
There were so many adults and children queuing outside Xinhua Bookstore to buy “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” that Lin Yingtao stood in line with her backpack, flipping through English vocabulary cards. Midway through, Huang Zhanjie returned from McDonald’s and handed her a vanilla milkshake. The two stood in line together.
Huang Zhanjie, gazing at the endless crowd ahead, suddenly sighed, “When will I have as many readers as Aunt Rowling?”
“By then, your parents definitely won’t object to you writing novels,” Lin Yingtao told him.
Huang Zhanjie’s lips curled into a smile, surprisingly with a hint of charm.
At home, Lin Yingtao diligently finished her homework, then bathed and changed before sitting in bed, engrossed in reading the final installment of “Harry Potter.” She read until nearly midnight when her father knocked on the door, opened it, and said softly, “What’s going on, Yingtao? Go to bed early.”
Lin Yingtao responded, quickly inserted a bookmark into the book, pulled up the covers, and lay down, closing her eyes.
The bookmark she used was a broken Chinese Olympic Winter Camp member card. Jiang Qiaoxi’s face was covered with cracks from the dried plastic, which Lin Yingtao had carefully glued back together.
In the photo, Jiang Qiaoxi was unrecognizable. It was as if he hated himself, wanting to break away from the past. Lin Yingtao had always known he had his own Voldemort to conquer.
Lin Yingtao spent nearly a week reading “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.” Sometimes she would pick up the bookmark and stare at Jiang Qiaoxi’s emotionless gaze in his school uniform.
Her entire adolescence, her whole youth, was all tied to him.
Jiang Qiaoxi would occasionally send text messages from Hong Kong. He went to his cousin’s house for dinner on weekends, where they had a small dog named Lassie. Jiang Qiaoxi sent a photo of him with Lassie, which suddenly made Lin Yingtao understand why Jiang Qiaoxi had been “moved” when she first mentioned her little rabbit when he came to Qunshan.
The boy in the photo, smiling and holding Lassie on a bench, was truly the same person as the lifeless “Jiang Qiaoxi” on the member card.
“I finished reading the final Harry Potter book.”
Jiang Qiaoxi left the study room late at night, returning to his nearby rented accommodation. There were small carts selling Hong Kong-style desserts on the street, young mothers holding their children’s hands, couples embracing and kissing. Even in Hong Kong, Jiang Qiaoxi sometimes felt as if Yingtao was accompanying him. In his childhood, he had learned to find spiritual comfort through imagination.
He asked over the phone, “Is the ending a happy one?”
“Yes,” Lin Qile replied, leaning against the headboard of her bed, rubbing her eyes red from crying. She looked at the book on her knees. “Harry defeated Voldemort. Justice triumphed over evil, light over darkness, and love over hatred.”
Jiang Qiaoxi inquired, “What happens next?”
“Harry becomes an Auror and stays close to Ron and Hermione. He marries Ginny, has a happy family with three children, and sees them off to Hogwarts.”
Jiang Qiaoxi remarked, “He’s so fortunate.”
“Indeed,” Lin Qile agreed, turning to the last page. She read the final sentence to Jiang Qiaoxi:
“The scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well.”
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Our Generation – Chapter Notes:
“The Big Bang Theory” officially premiered on September 24, 2007 (September 25, Beijing time).
Jay Chou’s 2007 World Tour held its second stop and only mainland China performance that year in Shanghai on November 24, 2007.
The final installment of the Harry Potter series, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,” was published in China on October 28, 2007.
McDonald’s Vanilla Milkshake: Discontinued entirely in 2014.