At eighteen, Jiang Qiaoxi realized that life was unpredictable.
Even his cousin, who had always been like a lighthouse guiding his path forward, could collapse in an instant.
What confidence did Jiang Qiaoxi have that he could find Yingtao again after losing her?
Once he understood this, Jiang Qiaoxi had nothing left to be confused about. Sitting on the subway, holding porridge he’d bought for his cousin and sister-in-law, his other hand grasping Lin Yingtao’s, he told her, “My cousin is a good person – cheerful, confident, and kind. Before the accident, the whole family was proud of him. After that, no one gave up on him. Some of his former business partners, colleagues, and classmates still come to see him. It’s just that his recovery has been very slow.”
Lin Yingtao, wearing Jiang Qiaoxi’s jacket, exited the platform with him. “Why so slow?”
Jiang Qiaoxi shook his head. Even medicine couldn’t explain such things clearly. Once a person reaches this stage, everything depends on luck.
“Among those hospitalized with him,” Jiang Qiaoxi said as he led her to transfer buses, “some could speak again within half a year. Others lay unconscious for a year with little hope. Some passed away suddenly due to lack of proper care…”
Lin Yingtao listened silently, her hand in Jiang Qiaoxi’s, gripping his in return.
“My sister-in-law is under tremendous psychological pressure,” Jiang Qiaoxi said softly.
Lin Yingtao leaned against him.
Jiang Qiaoxi held her close.
“We can help her,” Lin Yingtao whispered as they got off the bus.
Jiang Qiaoxi glanced down at her as they walked towards the hospital ward.
For the past three years, he had grown accustomed to coming to the ward alone. This was the first time someone accompanied him. His sister-in-law, having received his call earlier, knew little Lin would be coming along today. She had washed the sugar-hearted apples Jiang Qiaoxi had brought a few days ago and made them into a salad to welcome their guest. She told her weak husband by the bedside, “Look, Qiaoxi has brought little Lin to see you!”
Lin Yingtao felt nervous. This was her first time meeting any of Jiang Qiaoxi’s relatives besides his parents. “Your sister-in-law is so beautiful…” she whispered to Jiang Qiaoxi, afraid to speak louder.
Jiang Qiaoxi said, “She was my cousin’s university classmate.”
Lin Yingtao gazed at the woman approaching them, her eyes lined with wrinkles but still exuding charm. “Hello, I’m Lin Qile,” she introduced herself.
The sister-in-law looked tired, her cheeks pale, but her eyes were like water, smiling at them. “Little Lin!” she said in Mandarin with a typical Southern accent, “I’ve heard Qiaoxi mention you before. I knew you were in Hong Kong and wanted to see you, but I didn’t expect you to come here first.”
Jiang Qiaoxi handed the porridge to his sister-in-law. Looking somewhat embarrassed as Lin Yingtao entered the ward, he turned to his sister-in-law and said sheepishly, “Can I borrow some more money?”
His sister-in-law laughed, “You said you wouldn’t need it, but now you do! I’ve been saving your money for you! Your brother hasn’t had surgery recently, so we don’t need much. Take her around Hong Kong and have fun.”
Lin Yingtao passed an empty bed and approached a hospital bed. She felt nervous and uneasy, glancing back at Jiang Qiaoxi in the doorway before turning to look at the bed and the many tubes connected to the person, sustaining his life.
The man was extremely thin, but his hair was cut short and his chin clean-shaven, making him look more spirited.
Jiang Qiaoxi walked in from outside. “Brother,” he said, standing beside Lin Yingtao and putting his arm around her, “this is my girlfriend, Lin Qile.”
Lin Yingtao looked up at Jiang Qiaoxi, then said softly, “Hello, cousin. I’m Lin Qile.”
The cousin lying in bed first looked at Lin Yingtao, then raised his eyes to Jiang Qiaoxi. His chest began to rise and fall more rapidly, as if excited. His hand lay open at the bedside, and Jiang Qiaoxi bent down to grasp it gently.
Lin Yingtao moved closer to the cousin. She also held his hand and smiled at him, saying, “Thank you for the gifts you used to buy me, cousin.”
The sister-in-law at the foot of the bed told Jiang Qiaoxi that the things he had bought for little Lin in the past were still here, not taken away.
Jiang Qiaoxi walked over and said, “I did take something – a Barbie doll.”
Lin Yingtao, still holding the cousin’s hand, said, “That doll is still on my desk: It used to look so fashionable back in Qunshan!”
The cousin’s eyes were moist as he gazed intently at Lin Yingtao’s face.
Lin Yingtao remembered, “Cousin also bought me a Duffy bear when he was in high school.”
The cousin’s fingers suddenly moved in her palm, as if he very much wanted to grip her hand in return. He looked at Lin Yingtao, seeming to want to say something to her.
Lin Yingtao guessed that just as Jiang Qiaoxi cared deeply for his cousin’s family, the cousin must also care just as much for Jiang Qiaoxi. Although the man before her couldn’t speak, somehow Lin Yingtao felt she could understand his gaze.
“Cousin,” Lin Yingtao said sweetly before leaving, “I’ll come see you again during winter break!”
The cousin’s hand in her palm stopped moving. He raised his eyes to look at Jiang Qiaoxi standing at the head of the bed, his eyes brimming with tears. His sister-in-law wiped the corners of his eyes with a tissue, smiling wryly, “He’s still like a baby, easily crying when guests come.”
Jiang Qiaoxi said softly, “Brother, Yingtao is going home tomorrow. I’ll come back the day after.”
The cousin looked at him, blinking slowly once.
Jiang Qiaoxi stroked his hand again, not noticing anything unusual. He spoke briefly with the caregiver, took the unfinished salad box from his sister-in-law, and left the hospital with Yingtao.
Lin Yingtao asked Jiang Qiaoxi how his cousin usually ate and drank. Jiang Qiaoxi explained that food was liquefied and fed directly into his stomach through a tube.
Lin Yingtao lowered her eyebrows, probably feeling that the cousin was truly pitiful.
They boarded a bus together, and Lin Yingtao gazed out the window. On the sunny Hong Kong streets, people came and went, eating, shopping, chatting and laughing, rushing to work, or going on dates. Everyone seemed to have different worries. But in the hospital, some people lived a different life, where even having worries was a luxury.
Was there a clear boundary between these two kinds of life? One moment, the cousin was someone who could solve any problem in Jiang Qiaoxi’s eyes; the next, he was pushed down the stairs by a laid-off subordinate.
And so, life changed completely.
“What’s wrong?” Jiang Qiaoxi turned to look at her.
Lin Yingtao’s eyes reddened as she turned back to him, “What if something suddenly happened to my parents…”
Jiang Qiaoxi looked down at her.
He reached behind Lin Yingtao, holding her in his arms, against his barely twenty-year-old shoulders.
For lunch, they went to eat at a famous beef brisket noodle shop. Jiang Qiaoxi ordered a can of beer, while Lin Yingtao had a soft drink. Watching Jiang Qiaoxi gulp down his beer, she asked, “Have you quit smoking?”
Jiang Qiaoxi put down his beer, “Hong Kong’s smoking ban is too strict. I can only smoke occasionally.”
Lin Yingtao took his iPhone to photograph her beef brisket noodles. She played Angry Birds for a while, then switched to Fruit Ninja when she couldn’t pass a level, playing until the battery died.
Together, they went to the supermarket to buy some beer, drinks, and snacks like prawn crackers before returning to Jiang Qiaoxi’s rented room. Jiang Qiaoxi plugged in his phone to charge, just as the landlord called. It turned out Jiang Qiaoxi had an assignment due tomorrow that he hadn’t finished, having been busy with his girlfriend.
“I’m going to explain the assignment to the landlord,” Jiang Qiaoxi said, taking out a laptop from his backpack and addressing Lin Yingtao, who was sitting on the bed changing into slippers. “Call me if you need anything.”
What could Lin Yingtao need? After eating, she quickly became drowsy, having been accustomed to afternoon naps since childhood. Her mother called, asking what time her flight was tomorrow: “Where have you been staying these past few days?”
Lin Yingtao, lying in Jiang Qiaoxi’s blanket, felt a bit embarrassed but tried to sound confident: “I’m staying at Jiang Qiaoxi’s place…”
Her mother fell silent on the other end, probably frowning and about to scold her over the phone.
“Mom,” Lin Yingtao quickly said, “I went to the hospital this morning to see Jiang Qiaoxi’s cousin.”
Her mother snorted coldly, “And then?”
“Then I hope our whole family stays safe and sound, and that no one encounters any accidents,” Lin Yingtao said, then added after a thought, “But even if something happens, don’t worry, I’m here!”
Her mother was not at all appreciative: “Can’t you say something more auspicious when you’re away from home!”
When Jiang Qiaoxi opened the door and came in from outside, he found the window of the rented room open, the bed neatly made, and Lin Yingtao sitting on the cleaned floor, helping him organize piles of T-shirts and jackets in his wardrobe.
“What are you doing?” he asked, putting down his laptop.
Lin Yingtao looked up at him: “Don’t you ever fold your clothes?”
Jiang Qiaoxi watched as Lin Yingtao spread out a large T-shirt on the floor. She leaned over, hands pressed against the floor, folding in the sleeves on both sides, then carefully folding the T-shirt vertically. How much she loved Jiang Qiaoxi was evident in the way she meticulously folded his clothes.
This cherished cherry had waited for him for three years.
Lin Yingtao’s shirt was very thin, and it was easy to feel the bra strap underneath through the fabric. Jiang Qiaoxi sat on the floor and pulled her into his arms. “Yingtao…” he said, kissing her hair from behind.
“Hmm?” Lin Yingtao blushed, her long hair falling softly around her neck as she turned her head in his embrace.
“You said that day that I wasn’t the only person you’ve liked since childhood,” Jiang Qiaoxi suddenly brought up, asking softly, “Is that true?”
Lin Yingtao lowered her eyes, thinking for a moment: “Have you only ever liked me?”
Jiang Qiaoxi looked at her: “Of course.”
Lin Yingtao turned her head, meeting Jiang Qiaoxi’s gaze directly.
Jiang Qiaoxi had spent three difficult years in Hong Kong. Perhaps because he hadn’t experienced much joy in the past, he didn’t show much anger or unrest. He attended school, went to the hospital, tutored… He had grown thinner, but the expression in his eyes hadn’t changed. His skin was still pale, and when he looked at her, his long eyelashes lowered, always mesmerizing Lin Yingtao.
She said to him: “Jiang Qiaoxi, don’t leave me again. From now on, I’ll only like you.”
Jiang Qiaoxi suddenly leaned in to kiss her.
When the landlord knocked on the door, Lin Yingtao was kneeling on the floor, her arms around Jiang Qiaoxi’s shoulders. She hastily lifted her head, her shirt collar open, and thin straps sliding off her shoulders. Jiang Qiaoxi raised his head from her, closing his eyes in frustration, suppressing his temper.
The landlord said from outside: “Teacher Jiang, I bought some late-night snacks. Do you and Jun Ji-hyun want to eat?”
Jiang Qiaoxi replied: “We’ve already eaten, thank you.”
The landlord said loudly: “Open the door, baby, I’ve brought it!”
Lin Yingtao hurriedly buttoned up her shirt, her face deeply flushed. Jiang Qiaoxi went out. She could hear him talking to the landlord outside, likely about some homework the landlord wanted help with. “I want to see Jun Ji-hyun,” the landlord whined.
“She doesn’t like strangers,” Jiang Qiaoxi said.
“Fine then,” the landlord said, disappointed.
Jiang Qiaoxi came back in, holding a 12-inch seafood pizza. He put the pizza on the folding table and approached Lin Yingtao.
But Lin Yingtao pushed him away, suddenly feeling shy. She gave him a quick kiss in his embrace, hugged his neck for a while, and finally calmed him down.
With the neatly folded clothes back in the wardrobe, the small rented room looked orderly, almost like a “home”. The pizza box was opened on the floor. Jiang Qiaoxi sat nearby, drinking beer and watching his “hostess” Lin Yingtao eat pizza.
Lin Yingtao licked her lips and said: “Your landlord is so nice, even bringing late-night snacks.”
Jiang Qiaoxi smiled.
His landlord, a Singaporean whose ancestors had done business in Hong Kong for generations, owned several buildings for rent.
As a student in urgent need of money, Jiang Qiaoxi could barely afford the rent for a 50-square-foot room in Hong Kong if he wasn’t helping the landlord with assignments and daily homework.
At the same age of twenty, some people rush about working part-time jobs, while others, relying on their ancestral fortune, never have to worry about making a living.
Jiang Qiaoxi was originally the latter.
He held Lin Yingtao as they slept. Yingtao loved kisses and clung to Jiang Qiaoxi as she would to her parents, wanting to be held by him.
“What’s Jun Ji-hyun?” she asked.
Jiang Qiaoxi recalled that when he first came to Hong Kong to rent a room, he had no money and could only make a living by writing assignments for others.
He had eaten with the landlord a few times, and the landlord had asked about the scar on his head.
“I said it was caused by a girl,” Jiang Qiaoxi said softly. “He asked if it was a wild girlfriend, like Jun Ji-Hyun.”
Lin Yingtao laughed, hearing Jiang Qiaoxi continue: “I said, much prettier than Jun Ji-hyun.”
“Jiang Qiaoxi.”
“Hmm?”
“I wish my parents and I could have helped you these past years…”
Hearing her choke up, Jiang Qiaoxi tightened his arms around her waist: “I’m very content now.”
Jiang Qiaoxi was twenty years old.
When he was younger, he never had any holidays; life was just one competition after another.
As he grew older, he still had no holidays. While other students went traveling and having fun, he continued to work part-time jobs to save money.
During this National Day holiday in 2010, Jiang Qiaoxi felt like he was having his first real vacation.
He didn’t regret not contacting Lin Yingtao earlier. He had known her since he was nine. She might not have followed him to America, but if she had known Jiang Qiaoxi was struggling somewhere, she would have certainly come to find him.
That morning, Lin Yingtao carried her luggage and ate breakfast with Jiang Qiaoxi downstairs. She logged into her QQ account using Jiang Qiaoxi’s newly downloaded app on his phone. Her avatar lit up, with a flashy suffix: “iPhone online.”
Du Shang immediately said: “Wow, you’re rich, Yingtao!! iPhone online?!”
Lin Yingtao boasted happily: “Jealous, aren’t you?!”
Du Shang asked: “How much is an iPhone 4 in Hong Kong?”
Lin Yingtao looked up and asked Jiang Qiaoxi. He leisurely ate his shrimp dumplings: “I don’t know.”
Lin Yingtao logged out of her QQ account and asked Jiang Qiaoxi to log into his so she could add him to Cai Fangyuan’s Qunshan Construction Site Canteen group.
Jiang Qiaoxi hadn’t logged into his QQ account for almost three years. He simply told Lin Yingtao his password from across the table, letting her add him to the group. The password was the name of a Cohen song followed by Lin Yingtao’s six-digit birthdate.
His friends list was full of teachers and classmates from the provincial city, as well as students from other schools he had met during competitions.
As soon as he logged in, the interface was immediately flooded with various historical messages accumulated over three years.
Lin Yingtao felt overwhelmed: “So many people are looking for you.” She looked up at Jiang Qiaoxi, who was calmly eating his porridge with a spoon across from her, seeming unconcerned, as if it had little to do with him.
Jiang Qiaoxi was, at his core, still a very aloof person.
At that moment, perhaps because Jiang Qiaoxi’s avatar suddenly lit up, even more messages poured in. Lin Yingtao scrolled through the screen, finding herself among them, save as “Yingtao” in Jiang Qiaoxi’s contacts. She opened their message history and glanced through it briefly, seeing long, sentimental messages she had sent crying in the middle of the night. Lin Yingtao’s cheeks flushed, and she hurriedly deleted them all.
Once people become happy, they tend to forget how desperate they are when unhappy. At least for someone like Lin Yingtao, she lived too forgetfully.
She had shed those unhappy shells. Even if more unhappiness awaited her in the future, she could still face it stubbornly.
Cai Fangyuan created the Qunshan Construction Site Canteen group the year they graduated from high school. There were five people in the group: Cai Fangyuan, Du Shang, Yu Qiao, Qin Yeyun, and Lin Yingtao. The old classmates, scattered far and wide, would arrange gatherings during holidays and chat casually in the group.
On October 5, 2010, Jiang Qiaoxi suddenly joined, finally completing the group of six from Qunshan.
Lin Yingtao stood in the airport express, wearing her backpack, and her suitcase full of gifts for her parents, Uncle Yu, and Aunt. She had come alone, but as she left, she embraced Jiang Qiaoxi, holding this person who had once scattered into sand and fireflies in her dreams. Jiang Qiaoxi’s hands were warm on her back. The subway moved too quickly. Lin Yingtao looked up at him from his embrace, trying to speak, but the airport arrived before she could say much.
“I want to see your bank card,” Lin Yingtao asked.
“What for?” Jiang Qiaoxi looked down at her.
Lin Yingtao said: “Just let me see it.”
Jiang Qiaoxi took out his wallet, and Lin Yingtao saw a China Construction Bank card from Shenzhen inside.
She memorized the card number.
“My cousin gave me 100,000 yuan,” she said.
Jiang Qiaoxi looked down at her.
“Their house was demolished for redevelopment at the end of ’08,” Lin Yingtao said. “My aunt now has several apartments in Beijing, plus a lot of money from the government.”
In 2008, some people fell into the abyss, while others soared into the clouds.
Lin Yingtao got her boarding pass and said to Jiang Qiaoxi: “I’ll lend you this 100,000 yuan for now. I don’t need it, and you can use it if your cousin needs anything.”
Jiang Qiaoxi frowned: “We have money.”
Lin Yingtao pouted: “Just keep it with you for now. When I come back during winter break, you can return it to me.”
Jiang Qiaoxi said: “Are you afraid I’ll run away?”
Lin Yingtao stepped forward and hugged Jiang Qiaoxi’s waist tightly, pressing her cheek against his T-shirt.
“You can’t leave again,” she looked up, tears suddenly welling in her eyes. “I’ll come back during winter break. If you’re gone again, I’ll never look for you again.”
Jiang Qiaoxi blinked, lowering his head to embrace her. He kissed the tip of her nose.
Note:
Fruit Ninja: A casual puzzle game developed by Australian company Halfbrick Studios, launched on the iOS platform on April 20, 2010.