When Lin Yingtao arrived at the building, she looked up and saw dark shadows flickering behind the curtains of Xin Tingting’s home.
“Look at Lin Qile, what kind of husband did she marry?” It was Xin Tingting’s mother’s voice, accompanied by a girl’s sobbing.
“Tingting, just compare yourself to your classmates. Look at Wei Yong, that good-for-nothing who didn’t even finish high school, and he’s still doing better than us now!”
A piercing scream erupted from the window as if it were the only way to drown out the adults’ voices.
“What are you screaming about?” her mother demanded, also raising her voice. “You bring home a taxi driver and now you’re feeling wronged?”
“You lied to me…” Xin Tingting cried, her voice trembling. “You all lied to me…”
“Tingting! What nonsense are you saying?” It was Xin Tingting’s father. “How could your parents lie to you? We’re just giving you advice!”
Xin Tingting cried out with all her might: “You’ve all been lying to me my whole life… All of you have been lying to me!”
When Lin Yingtao was young, she heard a song from her father’s cassette tape collection.
It was a man reciting many words she couldn’t understand at the time. So many words, so complex.
Only a few lyrics had a melody.
The man sang: Where is happiness?
Where is happiness?
Lin Yingtao stood downstairs, watching helplessly as Xin Tingting ran out of the building in tears. Still wearing slippers, Tingting pushed open the entrance door, not noticing Lin Yingtao, and ran towards the community gate, pushing through the crowd.
“Tingting!” Lin Yingtao called out, hurrying after her.
Xin Tingting’s figure was so small and thin, her body seemingly unable to contain or balance the years of contradictions, grief, and resentment she had experienced. She ran under the streetlights outside the community as if fleeing for her life.
Lin Yingtao finally found her at the entrance of a car wash.
The car wash wasn’t far from the headquarters community, hidden across from the elevated highway. The black road surface glistened with wet reflections – wastewater from the car wash flowing into the sewer grates.
Xin Tingting’s family had always been strict and extremely clean, but now she was crouching at the car wash entrance in her slippers. Her slippers were soaked in water, but she didn’t care, focused only on sobbing into her phone.
“Come quickly, I’m waiting for you here…” she cried pitifully.
Lin Yingtao approached. She was still holding the red invitation, now out of place. She hid it behind her back, folded it forcefully, and stuffed it into her dress pocket. Her flat shoes splashed through the water as she walked up to Tingting.
Xin Tingting was crouching against the doorway, her head buried in her arms, breathing heavily. After crying so hard, her breathing was labored, making her uncomfortable.
Suddenly, a small hand reached out.
“Tingting…”
The hand gently covered her mouth and nose.
Xin Tingting looked up with teary eyes and saw Lin Qile. Her former high school classmate was crouching in front of her, those large eyes that always seemed naive and easy to bully now reflecting Tingting’s face.
“Cover your mouth and nose, then breathe…” Lin Qile instructed softly, lifting Xin Tingting’s hand to cover her mouth and nose. “Does that feel a bit better?”
The car wash workers were finishing up for the day, turning off the lights and pulling down the rolling door. Xin Tingting’s slippers were on the curb, still dripping water. She crouched down, hugging her shoulders, her back to the street.
Lin Qile crouched beside her, her dress hem tied up. The two of them sat like this, not speaking. Next to the car wash was a barbecue stall with a TV set outside.
“Do you remember,” Xin Tingting suddenly said, her voice still nasal from crying, “during winter break when I went to your house, we watched TV dramas together like this?”
Lin Qile thought for a moment: “We watched ‘It Started with a Kiss’.”
Xin Tingting nodded, looking at Lin Qile, at her round face, then gazed into the distance.
“Back then, I asked if you were dating Jiang Qiaoxi early, but you denied it.”
Lin Qile smiled and closed her eyes briefly, the night breeze blowing through her hair.
“At that time… we weren’t dating…” she said.
Xin Tingting looked at her again.
“How did you forgive him?” Xin Tingting asked, puzzled.
Many years ago, under this same elevated bridge, Lin Qile had crouched alone in her slippers, crying so hard that everyone knew about it.
Xin Tingting had heard her parents say countless times: Don’t play with that Lin girl, don’t ever be like her, so shameful.
But now, at twenty-four, Xin Tingting found herself crouching here, realizing she didn’t know how to be the child her parents wouldn’t find shameful.
Lin Qile blinked, looking at the small TV in the distance, then lowered her head.
“Is it just because you like him?” Xin Tingting asked.
Lin Qile nodded slightly. “That’s part of it,” Lin Qile admitted to Xin Tingting. “I used to wonder if I could forget him.”
Cars sped by behind them, beyond the trees of the road divider.
Their light summer clothes wrapped around their thin backs.
“You told me before that you dated in college,” Xin Tingting said, looking at the TV screen and wiping her eyes again. “I thought you had forgotten him then.”
Lin Qile nodded, not speaking.
Xin Tingting leaned over, bumping Lin Qile’s shoulder with her own. “I should have known,” Xin Tingting said. In her memory, Lin Qile always had a stubborn expression at South School, seemingly naive but hiding secrets inside. “A man like Jiang Qiaoxi must be hard to forget.”
At 10 PM, the barbecue stall was at its busiest.
“Tingting, are you still with your class monitor?”
“Mm,” Xin Tingting said, gazing at the distant TV at the barbecue stall. “But he’s just an ordinary person, the most ordinary of ordinary people, and he’s unlucky like me.”
Xin Tingting’s boyfriend surnamed Zheng, had just dropped off a passenger at the other end of the city. He called Xin Tingting several times, saying he was rushing over and asking her to wait somewhere safe. Xin Tingting said quietly: “It’s okay, Qile is with me… a high school classmate… mm, drive carefully.”
Lin Qile said: “Hey, look at that TV drama.”
Xin Tingting hung up the phone. Her legs were sore from crouching, and she stood up with difficulty. She took a few steps forward, the tear stains on her face now dry.
“Swords of Legends?” Xin Tingting stared at the small text on the TV screen, reading aloud.
Lin Qile walked to her side.
“This TV show seems to be based on a game,” Lin Qile said softly. “Do you remember when you came to my house in high school, I was playing that…”
“The Legend of Sword and Fairy!” Xin Tingting said. “Three!”
“Right,” Lin Qile smiled, her eyes bright. “I think it’s made by the same group of people!”
They chatted about their middle school memories.
“Back then, parents thought playing computer games was… improper…” Lin Qile mumbled. “But now look, games are becoming TV shows, even on Hunan TV. Remember Cai Fangyuan from our community? He’s making games in Shanghai now, earning a lot of money!”
Xin Tingting stared at the TV drama scenes.
“Recently, there was some trouble with Du Shang from our community,” Lin Qile said. “I felt then that our parents are getting old, they don’t understand many things nowadays—”
“Why does that person look so familiar?” Xin Tingting said, pointing at the TV screen.
Lin Qile asked: “Which one?”
“Wasn’t he on that old show, ‘Super Boy’?” Xin Tingting mentioned a very old term.
Lin Qile’s phone vibrated in her pocket. She took it out to look.
Jiang Qiaoxi had sent a WeChat message asking: “Where are you? No one’s at your classmate’s house.”
“How are these people acting in TV shows again?” Xin Tingting muttered.
She saw Lin Qile lowering her head to reply to the message.
“…Is that Jiang Qiaoxi?” Xin Tingting noticed the words “Husband” at the top of the chat.
Lin Qile said: “It’s fine, I’m here with you. I told him to go home and wait for me.”
Fate is always unpredictable. Xin Tingting looked at Lin Qile’s profile, then at the TV screen. Those talent show stars who had been so popular during their middle school days had long since faded from her memory.
Sometimes, Xin Tingting felt her life was like these people’s – once full of hope, but quickly fading into obscurity. She had attended the best high school, and at seventeen or eighteen, she thought she would always be “the best.” When watching “It Started with a Kiss” with Lin Qile, she believed she would meet her own Jiang Zhi Shu.
Xin Tingting lowered her head to check her phone and found that Lao Zheng had sent her a WeChat message a few minutes ago, saying he was on the elevated bridge and almost there. “Tingting, are you hungry?” Lao Zheng said. “I bought you a bowl of wonton.”
Xin Tingting grabbed an empty stool from the barbecue stall, and she sat down with Lin Qile.
Lin Qile chatted with her about work. Xin Tingting now worked as an accountant, usually leisurely with only the end of the month being busy. She found it hard to understand why Lin Qile had chosen her current major and job.
“Taking care of children is such a hassle,” Xin Tingting said.
Lin Qile furrowed her brow, glancing at the crowd around them and pondering for a moment.
“Many things in life are troublesome,” she replied softly.
“Isn’t it a hassle to keep traveling back and forth to Hong Kong?” Xin Tingting asked her.
“It is,” Lin Qile nodded with a self-deprecating smile, lowering her eyes. “But there’s no other choice.”
“At least your efforts aren’t in vain,” Xin Tingting observed.
Lin Qile responded, “Yours won’t be either.”
“Me? What do you mean…” Xin Tingting lowered her head, staring at her exposed toes in her slippers, stained with dirty water. She felt tears welling up again.
Lin Qile gazed at her, her expression a mix of conviction and hope, perhaps even a prayer. She hugged Xin Tingting’s arm. “Your efforts won’t be wasted!” she assured her.
The unpredictability of fate isn’t limited to what we see on television or what happens to reality TV stars. Every seemingly ordinary person bears their share of life’s uncertainties.
“Jiang Qiaoxi’s cousin had a really tough time for a few years,” Lin Qile told Xin Tingting. “Back then, the doctors in Hong Kong said he might only last three years because his initial condition was so severe. He woke up very late, but day by day, he persevered and recovered. Now he’s even able to walk with a cane.”
“I never thought Jiang Qiaoxi would be the type to take care of someone,” Xin Tingting said, her head still lowered.
Lin Qile smiled. “He’s quite good at it,” she said softly.
“You two got married,” Xin Tingting turned to look at her. “Qile, you and Jiang Qiaoxi tied the knot?”
Lin Qile couldn’t help but grin as she looked at her friend.
“You’re so lucky…” Xin Tingting sighed, lowering her eyes. “To this day, I still can’t figure out what I want. Whether it’s work, studies, or life… I’ve always just followed my parents’ wishes. But are they really all-knowing and always right, Qile? They couldn’t have predicted that you and Jiang Qiaoxi would end up together, or that Wei Yong, that rascal, would become a big-shot businessman. What hurts me most isn’t their harshness or lack of empathy, but the fact that both they and I were wrong. They have their mistakes, I have mine. They clearly don’t understand fate or many other things, yet they suddenly—despite being deceived by the very ‘truths’ they believed in and instilled in me—turn around and side with fate, continuing to blame me, resent me, always standing in opposition to me—”
Lin Qile reached out to hug her, but Xin Tingting turned away, continuing, “I could blame them too. I’ve always done everything they said… But what good did it do? They’ve been workers all their lives, and when their state-owned enterprise started struggling, they blamed everyone else—their bosses, the leaders. But when it comes to my issues, it’s always my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault…”
“Tingting…” Lin Qile hugged her arm tightly, feeling her pain.
Tears streamed down Xin Tingting’s cheeks.
“I never complained about them being bad or wrong…” Xin Tingting choked out. “I know it’s… not easy for anyone…” She shook her head, her shoulders trembling. “Why couldn’t they just be a little kinder to me…”
A car turned from the opposite side of the overpass and approached them.
Lin Qile turned her head to see an unfamiliar man hurriedly parking his car by the roadside and getting out. “Tingting!” he called.
Xin Tingting looked up, sniffling as she stood. Still wearing the slippers she’d left home in, she walked towards the newcomer.
Lin Qile turned on the bench to watch.
“It’s okay,” Old Zheng tightly embraced the girl he’d admired since high school, hearing her sob so miserably that even he felt a pang of sympathy. Life isn’t easy for anyone. He stroked her hair. “It’s okay…”
Lin Qile stood up and walked over.
“Hello, you must be Lin Qile. Tingting’s told me about you!” Old Zheng extended his hand, smiling, his other arm still around Tingting.
Lin Qile shook his hand.
At that moment, she quickly reached into her dress pocket and pulled out a folded red invitation, opening it.
Old Zheng was in the middle of introducing himself: “I’m from our experimental high school too, same year. Tingting and I were in the same class in our senior year…” He trailed off, taking the invitation from Lin Qile’s hands.
Xin Tingting, wiping tears from her cheeks, leaned in to look at the opened invitation.
“Jiang Qiao…” Old Zheng read aloud unconsciously, then exclaimed, “Oh! Jiang Qiaoxi!!!”
Xin Tingting closed her eyes and laughed, nudging Old Zheng’s arm to stop him from being so dramatic.
Old Zheng said to the two women: “I knew him from the south campus too!! Top student!! Very handsome!! The girls in our class were always talking about him, secretly tearing out his photos from the school newspaper—”
Xin Tingting took Lin Qile’s hand. “Old Zheng and I will come together,” she said softly, her eyes still swollen from crying but smiling now. “Congratulations, truly.”
The three young people stood together, all just twenty-four years old.
So much of their future still lay ahead, waiting for them to experience and face together.
“A wedding must be hard to organize,” Old Zheng said as he walked towards his car. He turned to Lin Qile, “Sending invitations, buying wedding candies… You’re getting married so young!”
Lin Qile accompanied Xin Tingting to Old Zheng’s car. Xin Tingting said, “What do you know? They’re childhood sweethearts.” As she spoke, she opened the invitation again, carefully examining it under Old Zheng’s car lights.
We respectfully announce
October 3, 2014 (Gregorian calendar)
September 10, Year of Jiawu (Lunar calendar)
The wedding ceremony of
Our second son Jiang Qiaoxi
and
Our daughter Lin Qile
We cordially invite Miss Xin Tingting to attend
Jiang Zheng and family
Lin Haifeng and family
Respectfully invite you
Suddenly, a short honk came from the direction they had come from.
Lin Qile and Xin Tingting turned around. Xin Tingting smiled, “Qile, you’ve been out here too long.”
Jiang Qiaoxi got out of the car, still wearing the shirt he had on when he left work, despite the summer heat. He glanced at Lin Qile and Xin Tingting from a distance as Old Zheng walked over to shake his hand and greet him.
“Hello,” Jiang Qiaoxi said as he reached Lin Qile’s side, also nodding a greeting to Xin Tingting.
Today’s Xin Tingting, seeing him again, no longer seemed so aggressive.
“Qile, I’m leaving now,” Xin Tingting said as she opened Old Zheng’s car door. She turned to Lin Qile, “We probably won’t see each other again until the wedding.”
Lin Qile stood in the path illuminated by the headlights as Jiang Qiaoxi pulled her back. She was still waving to Xin Tingting, “Tingting, goodbye!”
Xin Tingting sat in the car and fastened her seatbelt. She looked up once more at her former high school classmates.
From childhood, parents instruct and teachers guide.
For the sake of the future, they say, be obedient, close your eyes, cover your ears, and rush forward without hesitation.
But after running too far and looking back, one realizes that all those paths, right or wrong, have already been traveled. If this is what we call fate, perhaps it’s not wrong to say so—aren’t parents and family part of our destiny?
“Let’s go,” Xin Tingting turned to Old Zheng.
Jiang Qiaoxi was driving at night when he received a call from the teaching assistant of HKU’s Finance Department. After chatting briefly, the assistant said he would take leave to come back, partly to attend Jiang Qiaoxi’s wedding and partly to visit home: “Jiang Qiaoxi, when I heard you decided to leave Morgan Stanley, I thought you were coming back to study.”
The car stopped in the underground parking lot of their apartment complex. Jiang Qiaoxi sat in the driver’s seat, quietly looking at his wife beside him.
He reached out to touch the back of her hand. “Tired?”
Lin Yingtao, who had been silent throughout the journey, raised her eyelids and turned to look at him. She said, “Did you remember what Mom told you today?”
“What?” Jiang Qiaoxi asked.
Lin Yingtao pursed her lips and repeated, “Starting from work tomorrow, don’t be like you were in Hong Kong.”
Jiang Qiaoxi’s car didn’t have a gear stick. He moved the seat back, and Yingtao came over. He hugged her, letting her sit on his lap. Yingtao’s arms wrapped around his neck as Jiang Qiaoxi held her, his hand protectively on her back over her dress.
The parking garage was dimly lit, with only the car’s dashboard glowing.
Their warm breaths mingled as they held each other close, their hair brushing against each other.
Jiang Qiaoxi kissed her cheek. “What’s wrong?”
“Are we too lucky?” Lin Yingtao whispered, sounding anxious, as if afraid someone might overhear. Her fingers clutched the back of his shirt at the shoulder.
Jiang Qiaoxi lowered his eyes. “I don’t feel that way.”
He had already taken out the small MP3 player along with the earphones and hidden them in the car’s storage compartment nearby. It was originally a place for cigarettes and a lighter. Jiang Qiaoxi had been addicted to smoking for a long time.
But his father-in-law, mother-in-law, and his cousin and his wife all said, “Qiaoxi, there are some things you should try to change.”
For Yingtao’s sake, and maybe for the sake of your future children. Even if not for yourself.
Lin Yingtao raised her head from his embrace, her large eyes gazing at his face. The car interior was enclosed and small; where did the light reflecting in her eyes come from?
Sometimes Jiang Qiaoxi thought that as long as she looked at him like this, from childhood to adulthood, it seemed she could ask for anything.
“Don’t forget to take time off next week,” Lin Yingtao said, furrowing her brow with concern. “You said you’d come with me to try on wedding dresses. Don’t forget.”
Jiang Qiaoxi licked his lips, holding her and gently squeezing her hand. He replied reservedly, “All right.”
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Our Generation – Chapter Notes:
“Where is happiness”: A song titled “High-Level Animals” sung by Dou Wei, with lyrics and music by Dou Wei, included in the album “Black Dream,” released in 1994.
“Gujian Qitan”: A Chinese historical fantasy drama starring Yang Mi, Li Yifeng, and others, adapted from the single-player game “Gujian Qitan” developed by Shanghai Zhulong. It premiered on Hunan TV’s Diamond Solo Drama Theater on July 2, 2014, airing every Wednesday and Thursday at 22:00.