“How can you undervalue yourself like this, Miss?” Bing Ling was truly anxious.
Fang Xuan said, “It’s not undervaluing myself. He sympathizes with my background and pities my desire to pursue my dreams. That’s why he looks after me in every way. Even if he gets married and has children in the future, this probably won’t change. But it’s not because he can’t let go, it’s just because he’s not a bad person.” Even if feelings fade, they don’t become strangers. Shen Che had his principles of conduct, which was why so many people followed him.
After a long silence, Bing Ling finally said, “I don’t believe it. You saw it tonight too. That Miss Cheng is about to get engaged, and Second Young Master didn’t show any reaction. Maybe we misheard that night. If Second Young Master truly cared for her, how could he allow her to marry someone else?”
Fang Xuan looked up at the starry sky and smiled faintly, “The sweetness, bitterness, and spiciness in relationships can’t be understood by outsiders. What seems calm to us might be a raging storm in their hearts.” Fang Xuan turned back and patted Bing Ling’s hand as she was about to speak again, “Alright, let’s not talk about this anymore. It’s all in the past.”
For Shen Che, Fang Xuan was indeed in the past, but someone was standing right in front of him that he couldn’t get over.
The reply from Ji Qing in Northern Jin had already arrived in the capital. Ji Cheng’s birth date card was on the small table in front of Shen Che. If it were sent to the Liu family tomorrow, Ji Cheng and Liu Jun would be officially engaged.
Shen Che looked up at the sky outside. The Milky Way was brilliant, but it was also the hairpin separating the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl. Qixi wasn’t a joyous day. Being able to meet only once a year was perhaps the only hope left for these pitiful people.
Though Fang Xuan was leaving, her words seemed to linger in his ears.
“That night in Gumu, you were severely injured and had a high fever. You kept calling out ‘Acheng’ in your delirium,” Fang Xuan said, watching Ji Cheng and Shen Ruan’s retreating figures. She then turned to look at Shen Che, “I know I shouldn’t say these things, it’s not my place, but…”
“Mm,” Shen Che responded indifferently. In fact, not just that night, but on his way back to the capital from the Western Regions, every time he fell asleep, he would dream of Ji Cheng, dreaming of her repeatedly stabbing his chest wound with bloody scissors.
Fang Xuan sighed. Seeing Shen Che like this, she knew he didn’t want to talk more about it. “I’m leaving tonight.” If it weren’t for that last shred of hope, Fang Xuan wouldn’t have stayed in the capital for this Qixi Festival.
“Take care,” Shen Che said, standing up.
Perhaps Shen Che’s tone was too cold, causing even the usually composed Fang Xuan to feel a mischievous urge. “By the way, releasing lanterns at Ying River on Qixi is a girl’s thing. What did you write on the lantern you bought earlier?”
Shen Che remained silent.
Fang Xuan smiled playfully, “I’m about to leave, and who knows if we’ll ever meet again in this lifetime. Won’t you satisfy my curiosity?”
Shen Che looked into Fang Xuan’s eyes and said, “You already know.”
Fang Xuan didn’t react at first, but after a moment, she understood Shen Che’s meaning. “You… ” Fang Xuan burst into laughter, “This is truly eye-opening.” A young person doing youthful things wasn’t worth laughing at, but now, for a mature man like Shen Che to do such a childish thing was particularly amusing.
The tips of Shen Che’s ears turned slightly red.
After laughing, Fang Xuan said, “Girls always need to be coaxed. Back then, although you were good to me, you always maintained your dignity. If you had been willing to lower yourself a bit, perhaps I would have settled down with you long ago.”
They both knew this was a joke, but there might have been a grain of truth in it.
Shen Che was silent for a moment before saying, “I thought I had coaxed you enough back then.” With Fang Xuan, Shen Che had indeed tried to be coaxing. With later women like Wang Liniang and Rui Yu, he didn’t even need to do anything. Occasionally spending money to buy things they liked was enough for them to describe Shen Che as extremely considerate, a rare gentle man.
Some things Shen Che might have been clearly aware of at first, but after three, five, or even eight years, even he started to believe that he had been very considerate to every girl he had been with.
Fang Xuan said, “Coaxing a woman isn’t just about buying jewelry or giving calligraphy. I think what we want more is…” Fang Xuan furrowed her brow in thought, “More care, care about what we truly want. Maybe we just hope that the other person will spend more time talking with us.”
Shen Che raised an eyebrow, “Is it that simple?” He almost snorted. He had spent countless days talking with Ji Cheng. Usually, it was her who grew impatient with him, not the other way around.
Fang Xuan said, “It’s not simple at all. Your willingness to talk with us shows that you respect us in your heart. You’re not treating us like playthings, touching us when you like and neglecting us otherwise.” Thinking of this, Fang Xuan smiled mischievously and said, “Also, do you know, back then, there were countless men who wanted to be my patron. You weren’t the most powerful, nor the most attentive and affectionate. So why did I only have feelings for you?”
The words “only had feelings for” were clearly Fang Xuan’s confession. Back then, she had been reserved and proud, never openly expressing her feelings to Shen Che like this. If she had said these words back then, Shen Che might have been overjoyed. But now, with time and circumstances changed, hearing these words only brought a faint melancholy.
“Why?” Shen Che asked, following Fang Xuan’s lead.
“Because only you respected me, never treating me like a courtesan. Even though everyone called me Madam Fang, deep down, they still looked down on me,” Fang Xuan said, her tone not without emotion.
Hearing this, Shen Che felt as if struck by lightning. After a long while, he said, “Let me see you off.”
Due to his distraction, even the parting emotions seemed shallow, with neither tears nor sighs, just silently watching the flowing water carry away the days of old.
Although memories are beautiful, they are like soil that has lost its nutrients, unable to nurture the bright buds of tomorrow. Shen Che clearly understood this point, which was why his feelings had ended early. He loved passionately and cleaned up decisively, no wonder he had been so confident in making a breakthrough with Ji Cheng back then.
In fact, to find a second love even more passionate than the first in one’s life is an extremely fortunate thing. Shen Che had once felt grateful and excited about it, but now he felt like a moth caught in a spider’s web, unable to move, at the mercy of the black widow, willing to pay the price of having his head bitten off for that union.
Shen Che was still looking at the birth date card on the small table. Ji Qing’s letter also included a note saying that he had sent someone to a large temple in Northern Jin to have a fortune-teller match their Eight Characters. Ji Cheng and Liu Jun’s Eight Characters were extremely compatible, indicating that after marriage, she would bring prosperity to her husband and family.
A mocking smile appeared at the corner of Shen Che’s mouth. The Ji family was really going all out to sell their daughter. As Shen Che thought about this, he suddenly froze. Fang Xuan’s last words kept echoing in his ears, making him realize at that moment that he had always been contemptuous of the Ji family, and he had never hidden this fact in front of Ji Cheng.
Shen Che thought to himself that Fang Xuan had overestimated him. When he respected her back then, it was firstly because he genuinely liked her, and secondly, he pitied her for her troubled background, forced to seek survival in a brothel, yet remaining unsullied. She had paid a great price to maintain her purity.
And what about Ji Cheng? Shen Che frowned in self-reflection. From the beginning, he had never respected her background or her actions – smooth-talking, cunning, insincere, fawning, ruthless. She could betray her family and country for benefits. So he had been willful in exploiting and taking from her, no wonder Ji Cheng hated him so much. If someone had treated him like that, Shen Che thought he would have rebelled long ago.
Thinking about how he had managed the Jingshi Army for so many years, he was well-versed in how to control his subordinates and make them loyal. But when it came to Ji Cheng, everything changed, becoming chaotic. On one hand, he couldn’t stand Ji Cheng’s behavior, but on the other hand, he was irresistibly attracted to her. Even Shen Che himself couldn’t understand what had happened to him, how he had fallen so deeply.
It was simply unbelievable. How could he have fallen for someone he looked down upon?
Was it just physical attraction? But Shen Che clearly felt that the lamp waiting for him to return home in the room made him so nostalgic, without any other impurities. He just wanted to see her, to see her silhouette in the candlelight, which made him feel at peace, made him feel capable of facing any difficulty in the world.
These past two days, Ji Cheng had taken leave, and the top courtyard was cold and quiet. Shen Che didn’t even want to set foot there. But in the past, before Ji Cheng, it had been his favorite place for solitude.
Shen Che sighed and fell back. Although he couldn’t untangle the mess of emotions, it didn’t hinder him from dealing with this matter. In fact, Shen Che had known clearly what he wanted early on, but he had to make Ji Cheng take a step back first.
Call it a fit of pique or being unable to back down, but in matters where either the east wind overcomes the west wind or vice versa, Shen Che absolutely refused to be the one overcome. He had now become accustomed to controlling everything.
His eyelids gradually closed, while the birth date card with Ji Cheng’s birth time still lay lonely on the small table, with nowhere to belong.
The night had deepened, and the summer breeze entered the room, making the birth date card on the table, weighed down by a jade pixiu, rustle. The card seemed to be blown upright, swaying in the flickering candlelight, swaying again and again, fully twisting into a woman’s long, straight legs, snow-white and uncovered. Then a wisp of blue smoke drifted out, condensing into a slender and soft body. The thin, smoky undershirt barely wrapped around her body, just covering the top of her thighs, making one wish their eyes could grow threads to burrow underneath and see clearly.
Her black hair, like silk and waterfalls, flowed down. Looking up, one could see her snow-white, stunning face framed by the beautiful hair, the corners of her lips slightly upturned, like a crescent moon illuminating the entire night sky.
Shen Che unconsciously sat up straight, reaching out to pull Ji Cheng closer. It had been a long time since he had seen her smile like this, so sweet and genuine.
“You’ve finally figured it out?” Shen Che grabbed Ji Cheng’s hand, wanting to pull her into his arms.
But when Shen Che’s hand touched Ji Cheng’s, it passed through without resistance, as if passing through light smoke. Ji Cheng’s figure had already drifted to the opposite side of the raised bed.