After Liu Ye’er’s lecture, Ji Cheng crossed her arms on the table, resting her head on them, and said with frustration, “Stop talking. I’m annoyed enough as it is.”
Liu Ye’er rarely saw Ji Cheng act so childishly, so she softened her voice and said, “My lady is many times smarter than this servant. What I can think of, my lady surely can too. I’ve spoken out of turn.”
Using “this servant” showed that Liu Ye’er was also a bit irritated.
Ji Cheng sighed and said, “I know you mean well. I’m not annoyed with you, Liu Ye’er. I’m annoyed with myself.”
Ji Cheng was frustrated with her inability to move forward or backward. She wanted to take a step forward, but her competitive nature and obsession with perfect relationships held her back. As for retreating, she lacked the courage to divorce, so she had grown to despise herself.
No wonder Shen Che was annoyed with her. Ji Cheng couldn’t help but think of the locked door to the secret passage and the wooden gate leading to the top courtyard.
Shen Che’s rejections were vivid in her mind, and Ji Cheng truly feared she had misunderstood his feelings. Given Princess Taotao’s arrogant demeanor, it was normal for Shen Che to dislike her, so he used Ji Cheng to get rid of her.
But what if it had been Fang Xuan instead?
Fang Xuan, who might never appear before Ji Cheng again in this lifetime, wouldn’t disappear from Shen Che’s heart just because she had left for a distant land.
Ji Cheng angrily pinched her ear. Why was she being so nitpicky about their life together? What did it matter if Shen Che kept Fang Xuan in his thoughts? Fang Xuan couldn’t possibly enter their household anyway. Besides, even if Shen Che took a concubine, what of it? She would still be the primary wife, with all the dignity that entailed.
But who, once their emotions are involved, can avoid being greedy? Don’t they long to possess the entire heart and mind of the person they love?
Liu Ye’er stared at Ji Cheng without moving and said, “My lady, you’re not so young anymore. Although the Old Madam hasn’t spoken up, you can see how much she loves Miss Yu. Don’t you know how much she hopes you’ll bear a child for the young master?”
She knew how to bring up the most sensitive topics.
Ji Cheng said defiantly, “I know. I’ll think about it in the next few days.” Ji Cheng just needed some time to get over her emotional hurdle. Once she cared less about the relationship, many problems could be easily solved.
However, Ji Cheng wasn’t given much time to think.
After the Mid-Autumn Festival came the autumn imperial examinations. When the chrysanthemums bloomed in September, it was time for the provincial examination results to be posted. This time, Ji Yuan finally achieved his wish and passed, becoming a Juren (举人). Although not yet a Jinshi (进士), a Juren could already receive an official position. Of course, the path to promotion wasn’t as smooth as for a Jinshi, and they would be looked down upon by Jinshi colleagues. Non-Jinshi weren’t considered to have entered officialdom through the proper channels, but for most people, it was already a rare achievement.
Ji Yuan held a grand banquet for guests in Orchid Lane, and Ji Qing even rushed to the capital to congratulate his son. The Ji family had finally produced a scholar. Even if Ji Yuan didn’t pass the spring metropolitan examination next year, with the Shen family’s connections, he could still get an official position through the back door.
Just as everyone was celebrating, shocking news broke. A well-known scholar throughout the capital and even the entire country had failed the examination, leading to suspicions of favoritism and fraud among the examiners. Moreover, both sons of this year’s Minister of the Secretariat, Ge Song, had taken the exam and passed, further raising doubts.
But suspicion was just suspicion. How could ordinary people dare to challenge the court? Besides, there was no concrete evidence of examiner favoritism.
However, heaven’s net is wide-meshed but lets nothing through. In late September, the court suddenly uncovered a major examination fraud case. Someone had secretly reported that Chief Examiner Zhang and other examiners had shown favoritism, and several candidates who had bribed their way through were exposed, all of whom had passed this year’s examination.
Emperor Jianping was furious. The imperial examinations were the Great Qin’s grand ceremony for selecting talents. If even the examinations were corrupt, the country would be in danger. Thus, he ordered a thorough investigation and severe punishment for those involved.
Ji Cheng had just fallen asleep when Liu Ye’er rushed in and whispered a few words in her ear.
Ji Cheng frowned and said, “Tell Steward Mo that I’ll return first thing in the morning. If I go back to Orchid Lane so late at night, it might arouse suspicion.”
After Liu Ye’er left, Ji Cheng sat up in bed, her heart sinking to the bottom. The examination fraud case had already reached the highest levels, and Ji Cheng, being in the Shen household, naturally knew about it earlier. She had silently prayed that her elder brother hadn’t done anything foolish, but her fears were realized. Why else would Ji Yuan send Steward Mo to seek an audience so late at night?
Ji Cheng woke up early and made an excuse to the Old Madam about her sister-in-law being seriously ill. Then she took a carriage to Orchid Lane.
As soon as Ji Cheng entered, Fan Zengli came crying and fell to her knees, clutching Ji Cheng’s legs and sobbing, “Acheng, you must save your elder brother this time…”
Ji Cheng drew in a sharp breath, the last glimmer of hope in her heart vanishing. She had always felt that her elder brother was too impatient. How could someone study so hard that they neglected their health? She, as his sister, had tried to advise him but was rebuffed by Fan Zengli. Now it was too late for regrets.
“How could brother be so foolish?” Ji Cheng’s tears also began to fall.
Their humble origins were already looked down upon, and Ji Cheng’s position in the Shen family was difficult. Shen Che already disdained her background and many of her ways of handling matters. Although he hadn’t said it outright, Ji Cheng had been mocked by him countless times.
Now, with Ji Yuan’s bribery scandal exposed, not only would Ji Yuan be ruined, but Ji Cheng would probably never be able to hold her head high in the Shen family again.
Ji Qing sat to the side without speaking, only sighing repeatedly. His temples had turned largely white in just one day and night, looking incredibly aged.
Seeing this, Ji Cheng felt heartbroken. She knew best how much hope her father had placed on her elder brother, Ji Yuan. Ji Qing’s health was already deteriorating, and Ji Cheng truly feared he might not withstand this blow.
As Ji Cheng cried, Ji Yuan also began to tear up, “Yes, it’s all elder brother’s foolishness. Acheng, you must help me this time. Who did I do this for? Wasn’t it for our Ji family, so that you could hold your head high in your husband’s family?”
Ji Cheng didn’t speak, only crying incessantly, as if trying to shed all the tears she had held back in this lifetime.
Who would dare to help with such a case? Who could help? Ji Cheng had thought about it all night. Even the Minister of the Secretariat couldn’t save himself, so who could intervene?
Ji Cheng’s father-in-law was a duke who never interfered in matters. Her second uncle, Shen Xiuyuan, was far away in the Western Frontier and was a military man. Although Shen Ying held an official position in court, it wasn’t a key post, and he would surely be keeping a low profile now.
Shen Yu and Shen Jing couldn’t help either.
There was only one person who, if willing to help, might be able to save her brother. Unfortunately, they were now like fire and water, and Ji Cheng greatly doubted whether Shen Che would agree.
How could Ji Cheng ask him for such an embarrassing favor? He would probably look down on her even more after this. On the night of the Mid-Autumn Festival, they had a chance to reconcile, but Ji Cheng coldly sent him back to the top courtyard. Now she had to grovel and beg for his help. Just thinking about it made Ji Cheng wish she could die.
“Alright, stop crying,” Ji Qing tapped his water pipe on the table. “Acheng, you’ve always been the smartest and most decisive. You should know that if your elder brother falls, you won’t fare well either. I’ll say this: if you can help your elder brother this time, I’ll give you half of the Ji family’s property.”
At this moment, Ji Cheng had become like Ji Lan of years past.
Ji Cheng smiled bitterly, “Father if I could help elder brother, would I need you to say this? I don’t want the Ji family’s money. I’ll do my best for elder brother.”
But in Ji Qing’s eyes, Ji Cheng’s refusal to take money meant she wasn’t willing to put in real effort. This wasn’t because he thought Ji Cheng lacked familial affection, but because people like them were accustomed to thinking this way. If it were Ji Cheng herself, she would think the same.
Ji Qing said, “Fine. Acheng, help your elder brother. If you can’t help him, our Ji family… our Ji family will consider that we never had you as a daughter. I’ll act as if I never raised you.”
When Ji Cheng reached the gate of Jiuli Courtyard, autumn rain had started falling again, mixed with snow, chilling people to the bone.
Ji Cheng looked up longingly at the layered courtyards of Jiuli, thinking that even if she managed to help Ji Yuan this time, she doubted the Ji family would still acknowledge her as their daughter. She probably wouldn’t be able to help them again in the future. She considered it fulfilling her filial duty and repaying the years of care they had given her.
“My lady, why are you standing out here in the cold? Quickly come inside,” Liu Ye’er came with an umbrella to welcome Ji Cheng, and scolded Yu Qian’er, “How are you serving the young lady? You’re getting more careless as you grow older. What if she catches a cold?”
Yu Qian’er said softly, feeling wronged, “The young lady said she wanted to stand for a while.”
Liu Ye’er ignored Yu Qian’er’s words, “You go up first and brew a bowl of ginger sugar water for the young lady to ward off the chill.”
Yu Qian’er responded and quickly ran off in the rain.
Due to its terrain, Jiuli Courtyard didn’t have floor heating. As soon as Ji Cheng entered the room, she sneezed. Liu Ye’er hurriedly said, “My lady, if you’re unhappy, why torment yourself like this? If you had just softened your stance a bit, the young master wouldn’t have stayed away from the manor for so long.”
Ji Cheng hadn’t told Liu Ye’er about the Ji family’s situation, and even Yu Qian’er was kept in the dark. It was naturally better for fewer people to know about such matters. So Liu Ye’er still thought Ji Cheng was upset because Shen Che hadn’t returned to the manor for a month.
“Last time, my lady said you’d think about it for a few days. It’s been another month now,” Liu Ye’er complained, truly anxious on Ji Cheng’s behalf.
Ji Cheng stared blankly without speaking.
Only then did Liu Ye’er notice something was wrong and asked, “What’s the matter, my lady? Has something happened? You look so troubled.” At first, Liu Ye’er thought Ji Cheng looked unwell because of the cold, but now she realized it was because something was weighing on her mind.
When Yu Qian’er brought in the ginger sugar water, Ji Cheng took the bowl and drank a large gulp. Only then did she manage to stop the chill rising in her body. She thought that even if she sincerely wanted to win Shen Che back, he probably wouldn’t believe her sincerity now.
Ji Cheng sadly realized she had reached the worst possible situation. If she had bowed her head to Shen Che earlier, things wouldn’t have deteriorated to this point.
How could Shen Che forgive her now? He would surely think she was only yielding because of her brother’s situation. Her true feelings could no longer be expressed; even she didn’t believe in her sincerity anymore.
If Ji Cheng had a glimmer of hope before, now there was no possibility left.
What does it mean to feel utterly hopeless? Ji Cheng now truly understood.
After all their ups and downs, Ji Cheng had originally thought that the worst outcome would be her leaving, but at least she could leave with her head held high. Now, she would probably have to slink away like a beaten dog.
Ji Cheng didn’t dare blink, fearing that if she did, her tears would fall.
“Yu Qian’er, go find out where the young master is right now,” Ji Cheng’s voice was a bit hoarse.
Yu Qian’er looked at Ji Cheng in bewilderment, not understanding why her mistress was suddenly seeking the young master. It had been months since either of them had acknowledged the other, and Ji Cheng had never actively inquired about Shen Che’s whereabouts.
“What are you staring at? Hurry up and go,” Liu Ye’er’s voice snapped Yu Qian’er out of her daze.
Yu Qian’er responded with an “Oh” and quickly left.
Liu Ye’er said, “My lady has finally come to her senses. That’s right. Your stubbornness only makes those women outside gloat.”
Ji Cheng tugged at the corners of her mouth but couldn’t manage a smile.
Others might not be able to find out Shen Che’s whereabouts, but Yu Qian’er, thanks to her relationship with Da Hei’er, managed to gather the information after much effort and countless stolen kisses.
However, when reporting back to Ji Cheng, Yu Qian’er didn’t know whether she should speak or not.
Ji Cheng looked at the hesitant Yu Qian’er and said, “Just say it. This is not the time for jealousy.”