Ji Cheng found Shen Che at Jingxiang Courtyard.
As a woman, Ji Cheng naturally couldn’t enter a place like Jingxiang Courtyard, so she changed into men’s clothing before leaving.
Ji Cheng had experienced such pleasure houses before when she disguised herself as a servant to accompany her second brother during his first forays into such establishments. However, this was her first time visiting one in the capital.
At this moment, Ji Cheng had no interest in satisfying her curiosity about the surroundings. She adjusted her attire and addressed the maid guarding the main room’s door, “Please inform the Second Young Master that Ji from Jindi seeks an audience.”
The young maid accepted the purse Ji Cheng offered. Seeing that this handsome young man was generous and polite, she had no desire to make things difficult for him. She coyly replied, “Wait here,” before swaying her hips as she went inside.
After a short while, footsteps could be heard from within. Ji Cheng took a deep breath, preparing her words, but the person who emerged wasn’t Shen Che. Instead, it was a charming and alluring woman in her late twenties, still retaining her youthful beauty.
Flower Sister was far more experienced than the young maid, having seen more people than the maid had eaten grains of salt. She immediately recognized that Ji Cheng was a young woman. “What business does this young lady have with the Second Young Master?” she asked.
Ji Cheng had anticipated that Shen Che might not want to see her, but she wasn’t discouraged. “I have urgent matters to discuss with him. Please, Sister, help me convey this message.”
Flower Sister leaned against the doorframe, lazily stretching as she said, “How amusing. These days, people are so brazen they’ll come right to our doorstep to steal business, without any regard for face.”
Ji Cheng’s face reddened, not expecting Flower Sister to mistake her for that kind of woman. However, she didn’t want to lower herself by arguing with Flower Sister. Instead, she pulled out a five-hundred-tael bank note from her sleeve and handed it to Flower Sister. “Sister, would you allow me to enter?”
Flower Sister giggled, her laughter causing her to shake like a blossoming branch. She took the banknote from Ji Cheng’s hand and said, “The Second Young Master wasn’t wrong. He said you like to throw money at people. I came out just to see if I could get a little something.”
Ji Cheng was furious with Shen Che and strode forward to enter.
Flower Sister blocked her path, asking, “What are you doing, young lady?”
Ji Cheng glanced at Flower Sister, wondering why she wouldn’t let her in after accepting the money.
Flower Sister smiled and said, “It’s not that I won’t let you in, but I’m afraid you’ll lose face if you do. The Second Young Master is quite… occupied at the moment. If you interrupt his pleasure, I’m afraid you won’t get anything you want.”
It took Ji Cheng a moment to understand what Flower Sister meant by “occupied.” Her face paled, and she could no longer move forward. She turned and walked away.
Flower Sister watched Ji Cheng leave, thinking she had been driven away by anger. However, she saw Ji Cheng sit down on a stone bench under the camphor tree in the courtyard, her gaze fixed and motionless.
Flower Sister quietly instructed the young maid to keep an eye on Ji Cheng before returning to the inner room.
Inside, Shen Che was playing chess with someone. Flower Sister entered quietly and knelt to pour tea for the two men. Her expression no longer held any trace of coquettishness; she was so docile she hardly dared to breathe, especially under the gaze that made her scalp tingle.
Fortunately, Shen Che’s gaze quickly returned to the chessboard, allowing Flower Sister to breathe again.
The rain, which had stopped briefly earlier, started again, mixed with snow. It was so cold that people shivered. Ji Cheng could no longer sit still. Although she wasn’t particularly sensitive to cold, in this weather, her toes were freezing even inside. She pulled her cloak tighter around her shoulders and stood up to walk around and warm herself.
As Ji Cheng was rubbing her hands together, she heard movement from inside. Soon, Shen Che emerged first. She was about to approach him when she saw Shen Che step aside, revealing a middle-aged man with a square face and a handsome beard behind him.
Ji Cheng remained where she was, watching as Shen Che escorted the man to the gate. She had never seen Shen Che show such respect to anyone before. Although there were no special gestures, Shen Che was typically lazy in his manner, not even this attentive to the Old Madam. Yet here he was, escorting someone to the door.
Ji Cheng silently pondered the man’s identity.
After Shen Che saw the man out through the back door, he turned and walked to Ji Cheng’s side.
Ji Cheng looked at Shen Che somewhat guiltily, knowing that it was highly inappropriate for a married woman like herself to be in such a place. If anyone found out, it would bring shame to the Shen family.
“Let’s go,” Shen Che said.
Hearing this, Ji Cheng silently followed Shen Che out the door. She looked at Shen Che’s back, then glanced back at Flower Sister standing at the entrance of Jingxiang Courtyard. She realized that Flower Sister’s earlier words had been a lie, and at this moment, she felt an absurd sense of joy, which was completely at odds with her current mood.
However, Ji Cheng’s joy didn’t last long. She saw Shen Che mount his horse. Ji Cheng had come by carriage and had no way to keep up with Shen Che’s horse. She ran over anxiously, grabbed Shen Che’s reins, and looked up at him pleadingly. “My lord,” she said.
At this critical moment, all hesitation and dignity were thrown to the wind. Even when she had mistakenly believed Shen Che was indulging in pleasure inside, Ji Cheng had restrained herself from barging in and making a scene. Now, she even called him “my lord” for the first time.
Shen Che patted his displeased, snorting horse before looking at Ji Cheng. “Go home first. I know why you’re looking for me.”
Ji Cheng slowly released her grip, somewhat embarrassed, and could only watch as Shen Che rode away.
When Ji Cheng returned to Jiuli Courtyard, Liu Ye’er hurriedly came to ask, “Miss, did you see the young master?”
Ji Cheng nodded but had no desire to talk. She hastily ate dinner, then went to Ruiying Hall to keep the Old Madam company for a while, forcing a smile on her face. Only then did she return to Jiuli Courtyard.
Shen Che still hadn’t returned. It took much persuasion from Liu Ye’er before Ji Cheng finally went to bed. However, she couldn’t sleep and kept listening for any movement outside.
Ji Cheng heard the night watch announce the hour; it was already the zi hour (11 pm-1 am), and Shen Che still hadn’t returned. She waited a bit longer and then heard Nishang call out, “Young Master.”
Ji Cheng scrambled out of bed, not even bothering to put on her shoes, and rushed out. She collided directly with Shen Che, who was just entering through the curtain.
If Shen Che hadn’t caught her quickly, Ji Cheng would have fallen backward onto the ground.
“So eager to throw yourself into my arms? Afraid I won’t help your elder brother?” Shen Che’s voice came from above Ji Cheng’s head as he gently pushed her away by the shoulders.
This single action made Ji Cheng feel utterly mortified. She awkwardly stepped back, adjusting her hair and looking down as she said, “I’ll go change my clothes.”
Despite her words, Ji Cheng stood rooted to the spot, not moving until Shen Che nodded. She was afraid that if she displeased him, he might leave again.
Fearing that Shen Che would grow impatient waiting, Ji Cheng hurriedly wrapped herself in a robe, put on her shoes and socks, and came out. She saw Shen Che sitting on the kang by the south window, his eyes lowered, looking at his hands resting on his knees. His expression was unclear.
Ji Cheng walked softly to the door and poked her head out to ask Liu Ye’er to brew some tea.
Liu Ye’er quickly agreed. She should have made tea for Shen Che earlier, but she was afraid of disturbing the two if they were talking, so she had been hovering by the door.
After instructing Liu Ye’er, Ji Cheng quietly walked over and sat down across from Shen Che. She didn’t even dare to look at him directly, feeling both ashamed and embarrassed. “You know about my elder brother’s situation?” she asked.
“I didn’t know before. But for you to dress as a man and come to Jingxiang Courtyard to find me, even enduring Flower Sister’s words, I can guess what it’s about,” Shen Che replied, not sparing her any sarcasm.
Ji Cheng closed her eyes briefly before looking up at Shen Che. “Can you help my elder brother?” she asked.
Shen Che raised an eyebrow. “The man you saw this afternoon was Censor Zeng. He’s the one who exposed this imperial examination case. The Emperor has ordered him to lead the investigation.”
Ji Cheng’s eyes widened suddenly. “You knew about my elder brother’s… situation all along?”
Shen Che let out a cold laugh. “I do know my brother-in-law. Back then, he was willing to let you, his sister, take his place in a polo match just to win. This time, if he could pass the autumn imperial examination through bribery, would he pass up the chance? With your Ji family’s wealth, is money for bribes an issue?”
Hearing this, Ji Cheng felt her face burning with shame and anger. She couldn’t help but feel a sense of desolation and self-pity. How could Shen Che possibly respect her natal family? But she couldn’t blame him; after all, it was her elder brother’s actions that were so despicable.
“I know it’s too late to say anything now, but please, help him. My father’s health has never been good. If something happens to my elder brother this time, I’m afraid he might…” Ji Cheng couldn’t bring herself to say the word “die.” Despite the disagreements between father and daughter over the matter of the concubine, and despite Ji Qing’s somewhat heartless words earlier that day, he was still Ji Cheng’s father. Ji Cheng knew deep down that her father did love her as a daughter, he just loved his son more.
Ji Cheng didn’t have many people left in this world to care about. Some had died, and some had parted ways. She couldn’t help but cherish those who remained.
However, if this had happened to Ji Cheng in the past, she probably wouldn’t have felt so guilty about her elder brother’s actions. The profit of merchants – exchanging a mere sum of money for her elder brother to easily pass the examination – was such a good deal that she might have even supported her brother in doing it.
But somehow, Ji Cheng could no longer bring herself to do such things now. She instinctively knew that Shen Che wouldn’t like her to be that way, and the incident with Su Yun was still weighing on his mind. Perhaps it was a case of one taking on the color of one’s company. Apart from the Third Branch, almost everyone in the Shen family conducted themselves with integrity, which was why the Shen family had stood strong for a hundred years without falling.
Now that Ji Cheng had become the principal wife of the Main Branch, she unconsciously began to do things according to the Shen family’s ways, rarely scheming behind people’s backs anymore. Even with people like Shen Cui and Li Rui, she merely dismissed them with a smile.
Shen Che looked at Ji Cheng’s pleading face and said, “What do you think I invited Censor Zeng to dinner for today? Ji Yuan is your elder brother, but he’s also my brother-in-law. If he were to be involved in such a shameful incident, it wouldn’t reflect well on the Shen family either.”
Shen Che had anticipated this mess with the Ji family long ago, which was why his words of caution to Shen Yu back then weren’t false. It was just that in the end, he couldn’t resist the temptation.
Before seeing Shen Che, Ji Cheng had many guesses, but she never imagined that Shen Che would already be helping her brother before she even asked.
Ji Cheng felt overwhelmed with shame, gratitude, guilt, regret, and joy. A myriad of emotions surged in her heart, and her eyes involuntarily reddened.
Ji Cheng opened her mouth to speak, but at that moment, footsteps were heard at the door. It was Liu Ye’er bringing the tea. Ji Cheng turned her face away, composing herself. She waited until Liu Ye’er had left before turning back.
“What did Censor Zeng say? Does he already have a list of candidates who bribed their way in?” Ji Cheng asked.
Shen Che picked up the teacup, brushed aside the floating tea leaves, took a sip, and then slowly said, “Not yet. He will open all the successful candidates’ exam papers tonight.”
“Then what do we do now? Censor Zeng, he…” Ji Cheng was as anxious as an ant on a hot pan.
Shen Che lowered his eyelids, not looking at Ji Cheng, as if the floating tea leaves were more interesting than her. “Censor Zeng is known for his integrity and impartiality. Otherwise, the people of Gaomi wouldn’t have sent the evidence to his residence. You can forget about the idea of bribing him with silver.”
“Then what exactly should we do?” Ji Cheng pressed.
Shen Che smiled and leaned toward Ji Cheng. “Don’t tell me you don’t have a plan. If you don’t, I’m going upstairs to sleep.”
Of course, Ji Cheng had a plan. She had thought of every possible solution the night before, but it was difficult to voice it out loud.
However, seeing Shen Che’s expression, she knew that if she didn’t say it, he certainly wouldn’t volunteer anything.
Ji Cheng had to swallow her pride and say, “The only way is to switch out my elder brother’s exam paper before Censor Zeng opens the seal, and we need to replace the copied version as well.” This was the only way to eliminate all future risks.
The exam paper itself contained evidence of bribery. Typically, when bribing the chief examiner, they would agree on specific characters to be written on certain pages, lines, and positions. Usually, there were three to five such “signals.” If all these matched, the examiner would select that paper as one that passed the initial selection, with the final ranking to be decided by the chief examiner.
Usually, to prevent favoritism and fraud, an exam paper would be judged by several chief examiners. Therefore, if there was exam fraud, it would involve the answers, and all the chief examiners and officials might be implicated.
Censor Zeng now knew what those signal words were. Once he opened the exam papers and compared them, he could identify which candidates had bribed their way in.
Therefore, Ji Yuan’s exam paper had to be switched out, and quickly.
Today, Ji Cheng had already asked her brother to rewrite an exam paper from memory at the Ji residence, though she wasn’t sure if he had finished it in time. Ji Cheng knew that if they were late, everything would be ruined, which was why she had rushed to Jingxiang Courtyard to find Shen Che.
“How do we switch it then?” Shen Che asked.
“I’ve already asked my elder brother to rush out another copy of the exam paper,” Ji Cheng said. “However, there’s no way to replace the transcribed copy.” This was because the imperial court had implemented many measures to prevent cheating in the imperial examinations. Fearing that examiners might recognize handwriting, each candidate’s exam paper would be specially transcribed, making it impossible for examiners to identify candidates by their handwriting.
Shen Che laughed, “If others found out about this, it would be a threat. So I’m the only one who can handle it. But by doing so, I’m getting involved. I don’t know what kind of fate I’m setting myself up for by helping you like this.”
Shen Che’s laughter didn’t reach his eyes. Instead, it highlighted a deep sorrow, reminding one of how he had nearly ruined his life by taking drugs for Ji Cheng, only to be betrayed by her in the end.
Ji Cheng, being highly sensitive, naturally understood the sarcasm and coldness in Shen Che’s words. She remained silent for a moment before raising her head to look at Shen Che again. “After this, I won’t have the face to stay in the Shen family anymore. Among the seven grounds for divorce, I’ve violated not obeying parents, being childless, jealousy, and being talkative.”
This was merely a superficial excuse, just giving Shen Che a decent reason to divorce her.
Ji Cheng stood up and took a step to the side. Lifting her skirt, she knelt before Shen Che and said, “From the beginning, it was Ji Cheng who has brought much trouble to you, my lord. Cheng is unworthy and lacks virtue, unable to match a gentleman like you. I only ask that in the future, I won’t be a burden to you anymore.” Ji Cheng kowtowed, performing the farewell ritual. “I know you don’t lack money, but the Ji family and I have nothing else to offer. I only ask that you accept the shares of Longchang Company and help my elder brother one last time.”
Longchang Company was Ji Cheng’s only remaining asset. After losing it, Ji Cheng would truly be left with nothing, penniless. It was her only remaining source of confidence.
The person above her remained silent for a long time. Ji Cheng’s head was still pressed to the ground, not daring to rise, nor did she have the courage to look up at Shen Che’s expression. The state of their marriage had come to this point, and it was all her fault.
The silence lasted so long that Ji Cheng almost thought Shen Che had fallen asleep. She slightly turned her body and raised her head, only to see Shen Che’s hand swing forcefully, smashing the teacup in his hand against the corner of the wall.
The force was so great that the sound of the teacup shattering was almost like a thunderclap. Ji Cheng was startled and fell backward, watching as the shards bounced off the ground and flew towards her. There was no time to dodge, so Ji Cheng could only resignedly close her eyes.
It was all just a false alarm. The shards didn’t reach Ji Cheng’s face, as if they had hit an invisible wall of air, and then fell to the ground with a series of “ding” sounds.
“It’s not your fault. It’s all mine. I brought this upon myself,” Shen Che said harshly.
Ji Cheng was already at a loss due to Shen Che’s behavior. In all the years she had known him, she had never seen him so angry and harsh. Most of the time, he wore a lazy, sarcastic smile when looking at people. When he was angry, he would appear more gentle than usual, and then play underhanded tricks behind your back that would make you cry for your parents.
This kind of uncontrolled rage was a first.
Ji Cheng’s back was pressed tightly against the wall of the kang bed as if she wanted to burrow into the wall. She looked at Shen Che with a pale face.
Seeing Ji Cheng’s frightened eyes, Shen Che calmed down and couldn’t help but laugh self-mockingly, “I never thought I’d see this day.”
His tone was full of helplessness and sorrow. Ji Cheng felt sad hearing it but didn’t know how to comfort Shen Che.
“It’s right for you to fear me. If I don’t divorce you, I’m afraid one day I might not be able to control myself and end your life with my own hands,” Shen Che said. “Get up. It’s just money, right? No one would complain about having too much money, least of all me. I’ll take Longchang Company, and I’ll handle Physician Ji’s matter for you. Consider it the fulfillment of our marital obligations. From now on, we part ways.”
Shen Che’s sudden “reasonableness” made Ji Cheng feel even more ashamed. The word “emotion” can be incredibly hurtful, so someone as cold-hearted as her shouldn’t have feelings in the first place. It only ends up hurting others and herself. Ji Cheng thought sadly, hearing the words “we part ways,” tears suddenly fell from her eyes.
“Sit down. You don’t need to feel sorry for me,” Shen Che’s voice was as tired as an old man’s. “I was the one who forced you back then. Otherwise, you would have been living happily with your Brother Ziyun by now. It was all my fault for breaking up a pair of lovebirds. This is for the best now. You can finally be with your true love.”
Ji Cheng shook her head repeatedly. Although she wasn’t known for her eloquence, she was usually quite articulate. But at this moment, she couldn’t utter a word, only sobbing and shaking her head.
“You don’t need to pretend to be pitiful in front of me. Don’t I know your true nature? Since I’ve agreed to help your elder brother, I won’t go back on my word. Save your tears, don’t waste them,” Shen Che said sarcastically.
With tears still on her face, Ji Cheng couldn’t help but laugh self-mockingly. She had already made her decision, yet in the end, she still couldn’t help but cry. But tears solve nothing, they only invite ridicule. From a young age, she had never been one to cry easily.
Naturally, Ji Cheng spent another sleepless night. Sitting in front of her dressing table, looking at herself in the mirror, she picked up a hairpin beside her and traced the sharp end along her cheek, thinking that after all these years of effort, she might still have to ruin this face to find peace.
In the morning, when Liu Ye’er came to open the door, she immediately saw the shards scattered on the floor. She quickly entered the room to check on Ji Cheng. “Miss, are you alright?”
“I’m fine. Just sweep up those shards, lest someone steps on them and gets hurt,” Ji Cheng said while combing her long hair with a brush.
Seeing Ji Cheng’s calm demeanor, Liu Ye’er felt relieved, comforting herself that surely nothing serious had happened. Last night, after she brought the tea, she had gone to sleep, not daring to eavesdrop on her masters’ conversation. Perhaps she was too tired, for as soon as she lay down, she fell asleep, missing the sound of the breaking teacup.
That day, Ji Cheng went about her business as usual. When she went to Rui Ying Hall, she chatted with the Old Madam as usual to relieve her boredom. No one could detect anything unusual. Even she was shocked by her composure, or perhaps it could be called numbness.
In the evening, when Shen Che returned from outside, he went directly to Wo Yun Hall. Liu Ye’er was delighted and quickly brewed tea to bring in.
Ji Cheng’s eyelid twitched when she saw the teacup.
“I don’t want tea. Take it away,” Shen Che said coldly. “Prepare a set of writing materials.”
Liu Ye’er complied and quickly brought the writing materials. Then she quietly walked out, closing the door from the outside.
Ji Cheng took a deep breath. What was meant to come would eventually arrive. During the day, she had countless times wanted to take back her words, but every time she ran to the firewood gate leading to the top courtyard and saw that lock, she remembered her own words. Many things cannot be taken back just because one wants to change their mind.
Shen Che handed two exam papers to Ji Cheng. She recognized one as her elder brother’s handwriting. She checked the key points Shen Che had told her about, and indeed, all five matched. This exam paper had been successfully switched out, finally allowing one to breathe a sigh of relief. The other one was naturally the transcribed copy. Ji Cheng examined it carefully and found no discrepancies with the previous one.
Shen Che was indeed capable. In such a short time, it would have been impossible for Ji Yuen to rewrite the exam paper from memory, because the imperial examinations required a formal script style, with square and uniform characters, which wasn’t something that could be done quickly. So Ji Cheng hadn’t been able to give Shen Che the exam paper Ji Yuen had written.
“Um, my elder brother’s exam paper has been taken out, but what if they can’t find his exam paper during the inspection?” Ji Cheng asked Shen Che.
“I had someone imitate your elder brother’s handwriting and rewrote a copy. The transcribed copy was also imitated,” Shen Che said.
The Jingshi Army had many talented individuals, naturally including those who could imitate handwriting. Hearing this, Ji Cheng said no more.
“What’s wrong? Don’t you believe me?” Shen Che asked. “Afraid I’ve left some backdoor?”
Ji Cheng shook her head, “I don’t distrust you.”
Shen Che ignored Ji Cheng, took Ji Yuen’s exam paper from in front of her, then walked to the table and sat down. He picked up the brush and started writing, referring to that exam paper.
Ji Cheng stood beside him and looked. Even she couldn’t tell the difference between the real and the fake. A thought struck her, “Did you rewrite the exam paper for my elder brother?”
Shen Che looked up and said, “What else? Since I agreed to do this for you, I’ll do it thoroughly, leaving no loose ends. Apart from you and me, no one else knows about this.”
Ji Cheng took Ji Yuen’s exam paper again, feeling it was so heavy she could barely lift it. Without it, her life wouldn’t have been so desperate and hopeless.
Ji Cheng turned to put away the exam paper, then looked back at Shen Che.
Shen Che sat at the table, writing rapidly. This time, Ji Cheng didn’t need to look to know what he was writing. She felt as if all the strength had been drained from her body, and she could only lean against the screen to support herself.
A divorce letter doesn’t need to be long-winded. Soon, Shen Che finished writing and put down his brush, placing the divorce letter on the table to let the ink dry.
With the divorce letter written, it would be sent to Ji Cheng’s maiden family, who would then send someone to take her back. This marital bond would then be completely severed.
Neither of them spoke, nor did they look at each other, as if they were both intently waiting for the ink to dry.
“Husband and wife at odds, punishment ineffective, no intention of living together. Therefore, marital affection has soured. Decided to divorce, eternally separated, with no further entanglement.”
Ji Cheng’s hand holding the divorce letter could barely bear the weight of that thin paper. Her eyes were stung by the four characters “eternally separated,” making it hard to keep them open.
“Take your elder brother’s exam paperback with you. I’m sure the Ji family will be very happy to welcome back their daughter,” Shen Che said.
Ji Cheng’s heart ached. Shen Che had misunderstood her intentions again, thinking she had calculated everything, choosing this moment to propose a divorce. The Ji family would certainly not despise her as a discarded wife. Everything was a transaction.
Ji Cheng turned and entered the room, took out her seal for Longchang Company, and handed it to Shen Che with both hands.
Shen Che took the box from Ji Cheng’s hands, his fingers lightly caressing it. He smiled and said, “Marrying you has truly been a great profit for me. Many people in this world haven’t seen this much money in their entire lives.”
Ji Cheng lowered her head and said, “I don’t have the face to see the Old Madam. I’ll leave early tomorrow morning.”
Shen Che gave a cold laugh and said, “You don’t have the face to see her, and neither do I. After all these years of twists and turns, to end up like this, how can one not feel disheartened?”
Ji Cheng’s hand holding the divorce letter tightened. She looked up at Shen Che, about to speak, but was interrupted by him.
“This is for the best. I should thank you. Better to end the pain quickly than to prolong it. Seeing your selfishness and coldness early on is good for me,” Shen Che paused. ” I had already seen your cruelty and selfishness years ago, but later I deceived myself, thinking you had no choice. It turns out there was no ‘no choice,’ it’s just your nature.”
Ji Cheng choked up and covered her mouth to prevent making a sound. She had long known her unworthiness and knew that Shen Che looked down on her, but she didn’t know that hearing him say it out loud would be so hurtful.
“I…”
Shen Che waved his hand and said, “Don’t speak. After tonight, we won’t see each other again in this lifetime. Some things need to be said clearly, and questions need to be answered.”
“Back then on the grasslands…” Shen Che’s words were abruptly cut off by Ji Cheng.
“I know you won’t forgive me. Back then, I betrayed you and saved Brother Ziyun. I never dared to hope for your forgiveness,” Ji Cheng said hurriedly, as if afraid Shen Che wouldn’t let her speak. “I should have long lost the face to stay in the Shen family, but I shamelessly stayed. It’s all my fault.”
Shen Che shook his head and laughed, “You’ve never understood me.” He was so disappointed that he didn’t even want to speak anymore. He stood up and said, “Go to sleep. What’s the point of saying all this?”
Ji Cheng quickly stood up, stumbling to the door. Shen Che opened the door and turned back, saying, “I never blamed you for saving Ling Ziyun. If you had watched him die before your eyes, that would have been truly inhumane. The reason I hate you was never about this. I could even forgive you for plotting to kill me and took the initiative to reconcile. Do you think I would still care about a measly antidote you spared?”
Hearing this, Ji Cheng stood there dumbfounded. If he had never blamed her, why had they ended up like this? Ji Cheng quickly ran after Shen Che, “My lord.”
Shen Che stopped and said, “I’m no longer your lord. You don’t need to say anything more. My mind is made up. Once you see through many things, they’re just what they are. At this point, turning back is impossible.”
Ji Cheng felt as if a giant hammer had crashed down on her head. Her eyes could no longer see anything, and her ears could no longer hear any sound. Even as Liu Ye’er and Yu Qian’er supported her back to the kang bed, Ji Cheng remained in a daze.
Liu Ye’er held Ji Cheng’s hand, rubbing it back and forth. “Heavens, how did she get so cold? Yu Qian’er, quickly go brew a bowl of ginger soup. Miss is chilled to the bone.”
Indeed, she was cold all over, even her internal organs felt cold.
When holding the ginger soup, Ji Cheng was awakened by the steam. With a “wah,” she burst into uncontrollable tears, frightening Liu Ye’er and Yu Qian’er, who were at a loss. This was the first time they had seen Ji Cheng cry so heartbrokenly. Even when Zhu Jijun wanted to force her into marriage, she had never cried like this despite being so afraid.
Even a celestial beauty, when truly crying, is not a pretty sight. With snot and tears everywhere, Ji Cheng only stopped crying after going through thirty or forty handkerchiefs. Her eyes were swollen like goldfish.
Liu Ye’er and Yu Qian’er didn’t dare to speak until Ji Cheng calmed down and said, “The lord has written a divorce letter. We’ll return to Orchid Lane early tomorrow morning. Pack up the essentials. Father will send people to fetch the rest later.”
Liu Ye’er exclaimed in shock, “How could this happen? How could this happen?”
Ji Cheng waved her hand, “You both go down now. Let me be alone for a while.”
Liu Ye’er and Yu Qian’er stood still, fearing Ji Cheng might do something foolish.
Ji Cheng smiled bitterly, “Don’t worry about me. I won’t do anything stupid. I need some quiet. Go now.”
Only then did Liu Ye’er and Yu Qian’er retreat. Just as they reached the door, they heard Ji Cheng say, “Don’t tell anyone. Don’t go to the Old Madam. Stay quietly in your rooms, or our master-servant relationship ends here.”
Liu Ye’er and Yu Qian’er looked at each other, both abandoning any thoughts they might have had.
Ji Cheng sat at her dressing table. She had already put away the divorce letter along with the two exam papers. She looked around. Wo Yun Hall had been renovated before she and Shen Che married, especially the bathroom, which had been meticulously arranged. Ji Cheng suddenly realized that she had never rested here together with Shen Che.
A surge of regret and remorse welled up in Ji Cheng’s heart. These feelings of remorse made her unable to wait even a moment longer. She hurriedly opened the door and went out. She still owed Shen Che a sincere apology. Those words had come to her lips many times, but for reasons she couldn’t even remember now, she had never spoken them.
Tonight, when everything had reached a dead end, there was nothing left to hold her back. After Shen Che had said those things, Ji Cheng no longer harbored hope of winning him back, because leaving was what she had asked for herself. Now, she just wanted to find some peace of mind.
Yes, peace of mind.
Ji Cheng comforted herself thus when she saw the copper lock hanging on the firewood gate. She turned back, ran to Wo Yun Hall, grabbed her Qingxue sword, and headed out again.
As soon as Ji Cheng went out, she saw Nishang peering from a corner. She couldn’t care less about her now. The commotion earlier, Nishang probably knew best, and the words she had said chasing after Shen Che, Nishang had likely heard too.
Ji Cheng pretended not to see Nishang, carrying her sword to the firewood gate, and with one strike, cut off the copper lock.
In the top courtyard, Shen Che had just come out from bathing, barefoot, wearing white Songjiang fine cotton loose pants, casually tying the sash of his inner garment, when Ji Cheng ran in.
Shen Che frowned, looking at Ji Cheng with an unpleasant expression.
“I know you don’t want to see me anymore. Let me finish what I have to say, and then I’ll leave, alright?” Ji Cheng looked at Shen Che pleadingly.
Shen Che remained silent for a moment, then walked to the low table and sat down on a rush mat. “Speak.”
Ji Cheng didn’t choose to sit opposite Shen Che but instead knelt on the rush mat to his right. “I’ve always owed you an explanation about the Half-Day Powder incident.”
Shen Che raised an eyebrow. Ji Cheng hurriedly said, “Let me finish.” If he interrupted her now, Ji Cheng feared she would never have the courage to say these words again in this lifetime.
“You’re right. I am cold-hearted and selfish by nature, cunning and vicious. When Ziyun was poisoned with the Half-Day Powder, the thought of not saving him even flashed through my mind. Because if I saved him, you might die.” Ji Cheng looked at Shen Che and said, “The reason might be that if you died, I would become a widow, but if you lived, this incident would become an eternal barrier between us. Neither of these outcomes was what I wanted.”
Ji Cheng lowered her eyelids, her face starting to burn. “But at that time, my mind was in chaos, and Ziyun kept coughing up blood. Whether you believe it or not, my hesitation then wasn’t because of these considerations, but because I truly didn’t want you to be in danger.”
“I was shocked by this thought myself.” Ji Cheng laughed self-mockingly. “I never imagined there would be a day when I would be unwilling to save Ziyun.”
“But I couldn’t watch him die. If he died, my heart would never be at peace for the rest of my life. I had already betrayed my feelings for him in my heart, so I couldn’t watch him die because of me.” Ji Cheng raised her head to look at Shen Che again. “So I saved him, and from then on, he was no longer in my heart.”
Shen Che said indifferently, “I’ve already said, I never blamed you for this incident.”
Ji Cheng’s previous words were a confession, but she saw no change in Shen Che’s expression as if he were listening to a stranger narrating an irrelevant matter.
Heartbreak and despair poured over her. Ji Cheng lowered her eyelids again and asked, “Are you angry that I didn’t come to find you after that?”
Shen Che’s eyes widened, but Ji Cheng didn’t see it. She was focused on saying everything in her heart in one breath. “I had some guesses in my heart. You were never one without a plan. I hoped you could escape Huo De’s pursuit, but I wasn’t sure. I could see that Zha Yina was in love with you, she certainly wouldn’t want you to die, but she forced me to save Ziyun. So I thought she must have a way to save you.”
“See how pathetic, I saved Ziyun, yet had to earnestly pray in my heart that Zha Yina could save you.” Ji Cheng’s voice was as ethereal as a cloud in the wilderness. “At first, I was seriously ill and couldn’t tell directions. After I regained consciousness, I didn’t have the face to see you again, and I was also afraid that if I found you, you and Zha Yina might be intimately together.”
Shen Che laughed coldly, “No need to make excuses for yourself. How could you not know about my feelings for Zaina? You’re too ashamed to face me, simply because you assumed I wouldn’t forgive you. You didn’t even try to find out, instead deciding for me. That’s always been your nature, never acting without benefit. Once you decided I wouldn’t forgive you, naturally you thought it wasn’t worth any effort to make amends, since there was no gain for you.”
“Later, when I found you and brought you back to the capital, your so-called shamelessness was merely your reluctance to give up this life of luxury. You feared encountering someone like Zhu Jijun again, so you endured life in the Shen family without complaint, isn’t that right? Even then, you refused to say a word about what happened back then.”
“Ji Cheng, if you had even a shred of genuine feeling for me, you wouldn’t have remained silent all these months,” Shen Che said coldly.
Ji Cheng shook her head, tears finally spilling from her eyes with the motion. “It’s not like that. I wanted to apologize to you.”
“Oh?” Shen Che smiled, clearly disbelieving. “If you wanted to, why didn’t you ever say it? Ji Cheng, there’s no need for these self-deceptive words. I’ve already taken care of your elder brother’s matter for you. I’m not a petty person, and I won’t deliberately target your Ji family in the future. You can rest easy. There’s no need to continue this act here; it’s sickening to watch.”
Ji Cheng’s tears fell more heavily, her face alternating between pale and flushed. She looked into Shen Che’s eyes, crying, “It’s not for the Ji family, it’s not. It’s just that if I don’t say it today, I’ll never have the chance or courage to say it again. Even before my elder brother’s incident, I wanted to apologize to you, but you were never home and always ignored me. You’d come back with other women’s scents on you, and then there was that Nanzhao Princess. I was unhappy. I was truly afraid of becoming like my mother.”
“You know about my mother, right?” Ji Cheng looked timidly at Shen Che. “Back then, she and my father also swore eternal love, but before my mother’s beauty had faded, my father took in new concubines. My mother cried every day and did many things that people looked down upon, pushing my father further and further away. I was truly afraid of becoming like her.”
Ji Cheng grabbed Shen Che’s hand on the table, crying, “But I was just jealous, so I could never bring myself to speak. I even blamed everything on you. When I was sick, you didn’t come to see me, so I thought you must have fallen for someone else and no longer cared for me. I was exactly as you said, never acting without benefit, so I wasn’t willing to make any effort. Even Liu Ye’er started scolding me because she couldn’t stand it anymore, but I was still hesitating until my elder brother’s incident.”
Ji Cheng’s voice grew softer as she released Shen Che’s hand weakly. “I knew then that no matter what I said, you would never believe me again.”
Shen Che withdrew his hand under the table. “Indeed, I won’t believe anything you say anymore. Even now, you’re still making excuses. If I truly had someone else in my heart, you wouldn’t have the chance to stand here talking to me. I wouldn’t have sent someone to find you as soon as the battle at Le Yuan Pass ended, nor would I have brought you back to the Shen family. You’re so clever, how could you not understand the meaning behind these actions?”
Shen Che suddenly stood up, grabbing Ji Cheng’s arm and half-dragging her to the door. “I’ll say the words you couldn’t bring yourself to say.”
“You were certain in your heart that I was desperately fond of you, so you were waiting for me to bow my head to you, weren’t you? When you tried to kill me that time, I lowered myself to you, so you’re using the same trick again, right? In our relationship, you never truly cared for me, so you could come and go as you pleased, watching from above as I struggled for you. Did that make you especially happy?”
Ji Cheng’s arm was painfully gripped by Shen Che, but she dared not complain. Tears kept falling, blurring her vision so much she couldn’t even speak.
“I’ve already given you the divorce papers. Why have you come to say these things to me? Is it to ensure I can never forget you for the rest of my life?” Shen Che asked Ji Cheng harshly. “Don’t say it’s just to owe me an apology. You’re only seeking to ease your conscience. You’ve never cared about my feelings. If you did, you should have left cleanly, without saying anything, and we would never see each other again for the rest of our lives.”
Ji Cheng turned her head away in embarrassment. She had only wishfully thought that if Shen Che knew she cared for him in her heart, he might feel a little better. She hadn’t realized she was once again selfishly making decisions for him.
Ji Cheng walked down the mountain with heavy steps, but her legs had no strength. No longer caring about maintaining a graceful and dignified appearance, she sat down on the stone steps, hugging her legs and burying her head in her knees. She had never cried as much in her entire life as she had these past two days. Her eyes hurt so much that they felt like they might go blind. Ji Cheng almost wished she would go blind.
It would be best if she were blind, deaf, and dead, so she could no longer feel pain.
Ji Cheng didn’t know how long she had been sitting on the stone steps until tiny lights began to flicker in Qing Garden below, as the kitchen servants started to wake up.
Only then did Ji Cheng stand up and take a few steps down. She frowned, looking at her empty hands, and after a moment realized that the Qingxue Sword was still in the top courtyard.
That sword was now the only memento left between her and Shen Che, and it had accompanied her for three years as she kept vigil at her mother’s grave. Ji Cheng turned back and ran towards the top courtyard. As she reached the entrance, she saw Shen Che sitting on a rush mat behind a low table, wearing the same clothes as the night before, unchanged.
Seeing Ji Cheng reappear, Shen Che merely glanced at her before lowering his eyelids again.
Ji Cheng belatedly wondered if Shen Che had also not slept all night.
“I’ve come to get my sword,” Ji Cheng said softly, head lowered. The sword lay across Shen Che’s knees.
Shen Che raised his eyelids slightly and said, “I’ve taken the sword back. If we’re to break ties, let’s do it completely, with no lingering connections.”
Ji Cheng didn’t listen to what Shen Che was saying. She ran over and grabbed the sword’s blade. She had to take the Qingxue Sword back.
Shen Che lightly placed his hand on the scabbard, and the Qingxue Sword seemed to be fixed to his leg. Ji Cheng couldn’t budge it at all. She frantically tried to pry Shen Che’s hand away, as if possessed. He remained unmoved, while her hand hurt terribly. A surge of inexplicable anger rose in her heart, and she lowered her head to bite Shen Che’s wrist forcefully as if trying to bite it off.
Bloodstained Ji Cheng’s teeth, and only when she tasted the sweet, metallic flavor did she come to her senses. She weakly pressed her face against the back of Shen Che’s hand resting on the scabbard. Tears had completely soaked her face. “Why are you so cruel? Why are you so heartless? Won’t you leave me even this last memento?”
“At this point, having no mementos is best for both of us,” Shen Che said coldly as he withdrew his hand.
Ji Cheng’s head bumped against the sword, causing a slight pain. She remained motionless, her face resting sideways on Shen Che’s knee. “How did we end up like this?” Ji Cheng seemed to be asking both Shen Che and herself.
“If we had a child, would things be different?” The thought suddenly appeared in Ji Cheng’s mind, making her forget about the Qingxue Sword entirely, as if in a trance.
Before Shen Che could push her away, Ji Cheng swiftly sat up. This time, truly abandoning all dignity, she straddled Shen Che’s legs in one motion, desperately seeking his lips.
Shen Che used both hands to push Ji Cheng’s shoulders away, but Ji Cheng used all her strength to cling to his waist. She didn’t even dare to open her eyes to see Shen Che’s expression.
However, Ji Cheng’s strength was no match for Shen Che’s. With a slight effort, he pushed Ji Cheng off his legs, causing her to fall onto the rush mat.
Ji Cheng raised her head from the mat in disarray, only to see Shen Che already standing, tossing the Qingxue Sword in front of her. “Get out!” he said.
Ji Cheng, having already crossed the line, no longer cared about losing face. Once a person breaks through their bottom line, they become utterly unrestrained. She didn’t even look at the Qingxue Sword. After getting up, she hugged Shen Che’s waist from behind, pressing her face tightly against his back.
Shen Che turned to push Ji Cheng away, but she took the opportunity to stand on tiptoe and seek his lips again, as desperate as a traveler who hadn’t drunk water for three days in the desert. She clung to Shen Che with all her might, fearing he would push her away again.
Shen Che looked down at Ji Cheng, who was kissing blindly with her eyes closed, and felt an inappropriate urge to laugh. With Ji Cheng’s clumsy kissing technique, did she think she could seduce anyone? He had almost lost a tooth to her, and his lips were going numb from her biting.
But one-sided passion can never last long. Shen Che’s indifference gradually brought Ji Cheng back to her senses, and she began to feel the urge to retreat.
As for Shen Che, after Ji Cheng’s clumsy kiss hurt his lips, he remembered the scene he had witnessed at the Jinbei Temple – Ling Ziyun and Ji Cheng.
Just as Ji Cheng lowered her heels and her lips were about to leave Shen Che’s skin, she felt his hand wrap around her waist and lift her. Her lips were once again pressed against his.