“Gong the Second spends the whole year either drunk or asleep, blind in both eyes and heart. If this young master hadn’t taught him a lesson, with his drinking addiction, he probably would have drowned in a wine vat eight years ago. I at least can distinguish right from wrong. You, Third Miss Shen, have been chasing after Zhu Yushen to the Qi residence to learn martial arts since you were seven. The eighteen types of weapons in your hands practically tore up the Qi family’s roof beams. Every time Father and Second Sister dragged you back, the debt ledger in their hands would gain a few more entries. Those two years, the Shen household was heavily in debt—Father nearly worried himself to white hair.”

“You still have the face to mention Father and Second Sister? Yes, you’re skilled at making money. At nine you hoarded silk, at eleven you hoarded oilcloth. The dignified Minister Shen’s household—the front courtyard was like a proper family’s, but the back courtyard was simply a shop. You had just turned sixteen when you slipped away to the Qinhuai River district to join the excitement. Thirteen feared you, a weak scholar, would get trapped there and couldn’t get out. He kindly went to find you, and as a result, he was pelted with scented handkerchiefs all night while you hid in the crowd picking them up all night. When you returned to the residence, you drew a few peach and apricot blossoms on each handkerchief and resold them to the scented powder customers for ten taels of silver each. You profited without any capital. If not for Old Censor Meng vouching for you, Father nearly lost his official hat over this matter.”

“What about you? From age five, you went to the Qi residence daily to learn martial arts. For nine years you said you wanted military status, that you wanted to be part of the Qi family. Everyone in the capital had paired you with Qi Wujiu before you told Father and Second Sister that wanting military status was actually to accompany Zhu Yushen on campaign? By then, His Majesty had nearly bestowed the marriage between Zhu Yushen and the eldest daughter of the Zeng family, but you forcibly stopped it. Not content with that humiliation, you rode your horse to catch up with the Northern Expedition Army and before the three armies, made Zhu Yushen promise to marry you. Do you know His Majesty originally didn’t want to marry you to Zhu Yushen, and that he hates nothing more in life than people making decisions on their own? When you angered the emperor, if not for the Late Empress and Consort Qi pleading for the Shen household with all their might, forget Father’s official hat and Second Sister’s Crown Princess position—those two might have lost their lives!”

Hearing these words, Shen Jun suddenly stood up: “Then where are Father and Second Sister now? Years ago, after Elder Sister fell into the Huai River picking mulberries for you and me, what did we promise kneeling before Elder Sister’s grave? In your eyes, have all these years of my diligent martial arts training been just to please Fourth Brother? When I married to Beiping, you didn’t want to come see me off. Later, with no other choice, you came. Do you still remember what you said to me alone?

“You said you would protect the Shen household well. You said no matter how the times changed or how the world changed, you would definitely guard Father, guard Mother, guard Second Sister. But—” Shen Jun paused. “What did I see when I returned this time? The Shen household in ruins, Father exiled, and where is our elder sister?!”

“Yes!” Shen Xi said. “Yes, I was selfish, yes I made a promise I didn’t keep. Yes, I watched those scholar-officials die tragically, watched even Yan Ziyan able to die righteously without regret, and thus became completely disappointed in Zhu Jingyuan and Zhu Minda. Yes, I wanted to leave room in all matters, wanting to preserve my bottom line and preserve my true heart. Yes, I arrogantly thought I could single-handedly reverse heaven and earth. I deserve to die, I’ve wronged Second Sister, my sins are monstrous.”

As Shen Xi spoke, he suddenly stood up as well. The bench behind him was knocked over, but because he couldn’t stand steadily, he retreated two steps and nearly tripped over the bench. Fortunately, Su Jin supported him from the side.

Shen Jun stared at Shen Xi in a daze. After a long while, she asked hoarsely, “What happened to… your legs?”

That’s right—the secret letter she received only said the Crown Princess had passed away at Zhaojue Temple, the Thirteenth Prince was confined to the Eastern Palace, Minister of Justice Shen Tuo was exiled, and Ministry of Revenue Vice Minister Shen Xi was demoted to the Court of the Imperial Stud.

But thinking carefully, if even Thirteen couldn’t be safe and his life hung by a thread, what had Qingyue experienced these past months?

Shen Xi didn’t answer this question. Instead, he stared intently at Shen Jun. His eyes brimmed with glistening tears that seemed about to fall: “I didn’t do well, I deserve to die, I admit it. But what about you? Have you done so well all these years? Starting at fifteen, every time Zhu Yushen went on a northern campaign, you chased after him. The battlefield is a slaughter, swords and blades are especially blind. Each time you followed the expedition as a woman, Second Sister would sit under the corridor eaves unable to sleep all night, worrying about you. In all the years you’ve been married in Beiping, every letter Second Sister sent asked one thing: ‘Will you return? Will you return?’ And in all these years, you returned only once, stayed less than ten days, and then left with the army for the northwest, without even waiting for me to return from Hangzhou Prefecture.

“Second Sister spent her whole life thinking of others—of you, of me, of Thirteen and Seventeen. Do you know what she wanted most in her heart? All she desired in her life was the word ‘reunion.’ The day before she died, she was still petitioning Zhu Minda, saying she wanted to bring Lin’er, along with Father and Mother and me, to Beiping to see you. She looked forward to this day with such hope. And you? You didn’t even return the year Lin’er was born. You’ve never even met Lin’er.”

Having said this much, Shen Xi said no more, because he saw tears already rolling down from Shen Jun’s eyes.

He shook his head at Su Jin, slowly withdrew his arm from her grasp, then collapsed sitting on the ground. After a moment, tears slowly fell from his eyes as well.

Cool winds rose on all sides, green colors stretching to the sky. Su Jin stood alone in this twilight pasture, not knowing what to say.

Suddenly, she felt this was actually good. Shen Xi was someone who loved to overthink. Since the incident, he had never mentioned Shen Jing once, never mentioned that heart-stopping upheaval at Zhaojue Temple once. He only repeatedly replayed this nightmare in his heart, placing all fault and guilt upon himself. Now that Shen Jun had come, at least he could speak of it.

At the edge of the wilds, two people came running hurriedly. Su Jin looked carefully—it was Shen Liubo and Tan Zhaolin.

Shen Liubo had originally heard the Fourth Princess had come and rushed to see Third Miss. Unexpectedly, when he drew near, he saw Shen Jun standing while Shen Xi had collapsed sitting on the ground. Shen Xi’s coarse cloth garments were completely soiled, and tears kept sliding from both their eyes.

Shen Liubo had wanted to mediate, but suddenly remembered many years ago when the eldest miss died, after Shen Xi and Shen Jun grieved for half a year, they had quarreled like this once and were thoroughly reconciled afterward.

He therefore stood silently to the side. After waiting a long time, he raised his hand to wipe the corner of his eye, helping Shen Xi up on one side while saying to Shen Jun: “Miss, please don’t blame the young master anymore. The young master has also had a very difficult time these days. After Master was exiled, the young master received punishment on Master’s behalf. The Seventh Prince originally wanted to take the opportunity to beat the young master to death. If not for Lord Su risking her life to stop it, the young master would have lost his life long ago.”

Shen Jun looked at Shen Xi.

On the road from Beiping to Yingtian, as she rode her horse, she had cursed Shen Xi in her heart for over a month—resenting that he hadn’t protected Elder Sister or the Shen family, resenting that he hadn’t sent her a letter to confess honestly, and even more fearing he would act impulsively and throw away his own life as well.

Yet at this very moment, her bellyful of angry words dissipated into nothing.

Shen Jun thought, her younger brother had once been so proud he looked down on all beneath him. But now? He was covered in mud, ordered about by others, his legs not yet healed—so despairing he had collapsed sitting in the dust.

Perhaps for him, death was simplest. What was difficult was enduring humiliation and living on bearing heavy burdens.

Shen Jun turned her back, raised her sleeve to wipe away her tears, then looked toward the officers standing at one end of the pasture and called out loudly: “Qin Sang, bring the soldiers over!”

“Yes!”

The setting sun descended in the west, the twilight melting like gold. A group of soldiers formed a square formation. Shen Jun turned back around, her red garments rippling like blood. She swept her robe aside and, leading the soldiers, knelt on one knee before Su Jin. Then with both hands clasped in salute, she said: “Lord Su, this younger brother of mine is incorrigible. I imagine since the incident, he has never thanked you once. But your life-saving grace—I, Shen Jun, will remember it in his stead.

“Though I am only a woman, though I command merely over a hundred soldiers, a drop of kindness should be repaid with a gushing spring. Even if one day I am left with nothing but my bare hands, as long as you have need of me, I, Shen Jun, will certainly brave water and tread fire, sparing no effort!”

Su Jin looked at Shen Jun and also clasped her hands in salute, saying: “Fourth Princess, please rise. Since Your Highness is Qingyue’s third sister, then like Qingyue, you may simply call me Shiyu.” She added, “Actually, Your Highness need not speak of kindness. That day, Shiyu merely blocked the execution guards. The one who truly stopped Zhu Zhaowei was the Fourth Prince.”

Shen Xi stood up with Shen Liubo’s assistance. After a moment of silence, he said: “If there’s more to discuss, we can discuss it another day. The urgent matter at hand is that Thirteen must leave the Eastern Palace alone tomorrow. We just said Shen Jun would go support him, but how to support him and in what manner—we need to devise a plan for that.”