The day after receiving the championship cup, on Monday, Sun Yinglong called Qiao Qingyu to his office to discuss university independent recruitment again.
“If you’re still interested in Peking University, you could take a chance,” he said. “Use the New Concept Writing Competition as your stepping stone. If you can win first prize in the finals, it would give you an advantage.”
“Of course,” he continued, “that’s assuming you can maintain your grades.”
Qiao Qingyu pondered this.
“Looking at this semester, you should have no problem getting into Renmin University, but with the college entrance exam, nothing’s certain until the end,” Sun Yinglong said. “If you want to go to Peking University… would you like to try your luck with the New Concept competition? It’s another path. But I should tell you upfront, if your college entrance exam scores aren’t high enough and you rely on New Concept to get into Peking University, you’ll be in the Chinese Literature department.”
The Chinese Literature department wouldn’t be bad.
“Alright.”
Sun Yinglong smiled. “Many people are obsessed with Peking University. I figured you’d want to give it a shot. It’s good to have dreams.”
The words “Peking University” filled Qiao Qingyu with excitement. That night, she told Qiao Lusheng about her plans to apply for Peking University’s independent recruitment. When he heard about the New Concept finals, Qiao Lusheng frowned slightly and shook his head uncertainly. “Weren’t we talking about Renmin University before? Who can guarantee that you’ll win an award in the finals? What if you don’t win and don’t do well in the college entrance exam? Then you won’t be able to go to Peking University at all.”
“Then I’ll go to whatever university I qualify for,” Qiao Qingyu replied. “I can accept that.”
Qiao Lusheng shook his head more firmly. “Apply for independent recruitment at Renmin University, get the extra points first. As long as you perform normally in the college entrance exam, even if you make some small mistakes, with the extra points, you’ll still have a good chance of getting into Renmin University. Isn’t Renmin University good enough? Didn’t Mumu who used to live across from us go to Renmin University?”
“But,” Qiao Qingyu felt annoyed at her father’s characteristic conservatism, “Peking University isn’t impossible for me. I want to try.”
“Why not try both?”
“I have a specific goal. One is enough. Trying both would waste energy and might affect my college entrance exam performance.”
Qiao Lusheng waved his hands repeatedly, his expression almost disgusted. “That takes so much time! Just apply to Renmin University and forget about the writing competition finals. Save that time for revision. If you apply to Peking University and go to the finals, it’ll interfere with your studies, and in the end, it’ll all be for nothing!”
“Of course, I’m going to the New Concept finals.”
“There, there, what did I say,” Qiao Lusheng looked dissatisfied. “You want everything and end up with nothing. Do what you’re capable of. People shouldn’t be too greedy, especially girls…”
This isn’t about greed at all, Qiao Qingyu thought angrily. This is about whether you dare to accept challenges and break through your limitations.
“Call your mom and ask her,” Qiao Lusheng said, handing over his phone. “If she says it’s okay, then it’s okay.”
Taking the phone, Qiao Qingyu felt anxious. She consoled herself that her mother was the one who most supported her in getting good grades and making something of herself, so there was nothing to fear.
The call connected, and Li Fanghao seemed about to go to bed, as it was very quiet on her end. Qiao Qingyu explained everything about the independent recruitment application and the New Concept finals, feeling the breathing on the other end growing increasingly tense.
“Qingqing,” Li Fanghao’s urgency was amplified by the night’s silence, “the New Concept finals are in Shanghai and take three days. Don’t go.”
Qiao Qingyu remained silent.
“And you said even if your scores aren’t enough, you could still get into Peking University’s Chinese Literature department. What can you do with a Chinese Literature degree?” Li Fanghao held her breath. “You won’t be able to find a job, you won’t even be able to support yourself!”
“How could it be impossible to find a job…”
“Apply for independent recruitment at Fudan University or the University of Finance and Economics, don’t they have that?” Li Fanghao cut off Qiao Qingyu decisively. “Study finance. I’ve asked around, the university isn’t as important as the major, and finance makes the most money. The finance program at Renmin University has such high requirements you might not even get in… your grades are good enough for Fudan, but you need to keep working hard from now on and maintain your stability. Finance programs all have high requirements… Independent recruitment should also target finance, try to get those extra points.”
“Mom, I’m not interested in finance…”
“I can see you’re only interested in reading useless books and writing pointless articles. Can you make money writing?” Li Fanghao couldn’t contain her anger anymore. “Participating in New Concept once was enough, why keep going? And now you want to go to Shanghai for three days? Do you think I’d let you go to Shanghai alone? At this critical time, you’re still wasting effort on these thankless tasks… If you had ability, you’d be like He Feihai, scoring in the provincial top ten, and going to Peking University to study finance. Then I’d let you go to Peking University. Otherwise, going to Peking University is just wasting money! Do you know how hard it is for your parents to earn money?”
“So you’re saying I can’t go to the Shanghai finals, and I must study finance.”
“Don’t you understand that making more money means a better life?” Li Fanghao was breathing heavily with anger. “You’re still reading those useless books? Stop reading them, they’ll ruin your mind!”
“I stopped reading long ago.” Qiao Qingyu felt angry and wronged, tears threatening to fall.
“We went through so much trouble to transfer you to No. 2 High School, not for you to waste time on these useless things!” Li Fanghao shouted. “All these years of study, if you’re heading in the wrong direction, it’s all been a waste! Your parents have been wasting their time with you!”
Even Qiao Lusheng couldn’t bear to listen anymore and took the phone from Qiao Qingyu’s hand.
“Alright, alright,” he said while gesturing for Qiao Qingyu to go take a shower. “Qingqing is being good.”
“She’s getting carried away and you don’t even know it! Always thinking about impossible things! How can you not see that?!”
“She’s asking for your opinion, isn’t she?” Qiao Lusheng said helplessly, stifling a deep yawn.
“When I’m not there, you just let her run wild!”
“She’s doing very well without you! Look at her grades this semester!”
“Hmph, you’re all happy without me, I must be in your family’s way!”
They started arguing over the phone, completely disregarding Qiao Qingyu’s presence. She retreated to the bathroom to shower, and when she came out, she saw Qiao Lusheng staring blankly at the television.
“Dad, I’m going to bed.”
“Go to the New Concept finals if you want to,” Qiao Lusheng said as if defying Li Fanghao. “Whatever expenses you need, I’ll provide. Just don’t let your mom know.”
“Oh.”
“Apply for independent recruitment at Renmin University,” he turned off the TV with the remote. “Don’t listen to your mom’s nonsense. The university is more important than the major.”
Qiao Qingyu said nothing, walked into her room, and quietly closed the door.
She didn’t want to listen to either of them. The words “Peking University” had taken root in her heart like a seed, sprouting beyond her control. However, according to Li Fanghao, getting into Peking University meant studying finance, which would be incredibly difficult! She didn’t consider herself particularly clever, relying instead on diligence, already pushing herself to the limit in her studies.
Even Sun Yinglong had no solution to her predicament.
“Parents’ advice can be taken as a reference,” he told Qiao Qingyu, “but ultimately, you must make the decision. You’ll be an adult soon, this is your own life.”
He also urged Qiao Qingyu to decide quickly, prepare early, and not waver back and forth.
On a clear, windless early winter afternoon, Qiao Qingyu went to the computer room in the library to research information about universities and majors. As usual, the computer room was full, except for the computer nearest to the door, where a bookmarked someone’s territory, its cover bearing the word “Chemistry.”
The familiar scene irritated Qiao Qingyu. She stood hesitantly by the door for a moment, then turned to leave decisively, only to find Ming Sheng right behind her.
He stopped on the stairs, separated from her by several steps, his gaze passing over her to the empty seat in the computer room.
Qiao Qingyu lowered her eyes and started walking forward.
“Hey,” Ming Sheng slightly raised his hand, stopping her hurried steps, “isn’t there an empty seat?”
“Isn’t that your reserved seat?”
“Yes,” Ming Sheng withdrew his gaze, chin slightly lowered, looking at her reddening earlobes, “but you can sit there.”
Two freshman girls walked out of the reading room, saw them standing in the middle of the stairs, looked surprised, shrunk their necks, and quickly passed by them, frequently looking back.
“I don’t need to,” she said softly, trying to look at Ming Sheng calmly, though the heat from her earlobes spread across her entire face, “thank you.”
“What do you want to look up?”
“Just,” opening her mouth, Qiao Qingyu felt she didn’t need to answer him, “universities and majors, which is more important.”
Ming Sheng looked at her thoughtfully: “Your parents want you to prioritize the university?”
“They have different opinions.”
“What about you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then why not go online and check?” Ming Sheng’s tone was gentle, with a smile in his eyes that was both mischievous and confident. “You don’t want to be controlled, right?”
Qiao Qingyu nodded slightly.
“Go use that computer,” Ming Sheng said again, his tone becoming more commanding, “Pretend I don’t exist.”
In the glances of her classmates, Qiao Qingyu felt the school’s atmosphere had changed, no longer harsh and piercing, but like this unexpectedly warm early winter, growing gentler day by day.
Qiao Qingyu thought this might have something to do with her essay that made it into the New Concept competition. The article was included in the school newspaper, no longer anonymous, occupying half a page. Below the article, Sun Yinglong’s comment read “sincere, open, fearless, emotions as full and clear as dewdrops.” Two other articles shared her page – one about AIDS awareness, the other written by the school counselor Le Fan, saying “discrimination and rejection are more frightening than the disease.”
But it couldn’t all be because of that article. The fact that Ming Sheng had waited for her during the group photo and saved the spot in front of him for her was like a huge rock falling from the sky, creating endless ripples of discussion throughout the school. In the cafeteria or while waiting for the bus, people would always curiously examine Qiao Qingyu, as if she were new to No. 2 High School. However, compared to the contempt from a year ago, most of the looks people gave her now contained admiration, even awe, as if they wanted to lift her, occasionally giving her a floating, dizzy sensation.
Once, after school, while waiting for the bus home, she noticed several freshman boys a few meters away collectively turning to look at her and huddling together to whisper. She felt uncomfortable and moved slightly to the side, trying to hide behind the bus stop sign, when one of the boys was pushed forward by the others and walked towards her.
“Senior,” the boy smiled shyly, “you’re Senior Qiao Qingyu, right?”
Qiao Qingyu nodded.
“Oh, we all think you’re very pretty and have a great presence,” the boy smiled bashfully, pointing back at his classmates, “Gu Haoyi says he wants to pursue you.”
“Ah— Qi Yuan, you want to die?” a bespectacled boy from behind wanted to rush over but was held back by the others, laughing. “Are you trying to get me killed…”
The boy retreated. Among their laughter, Qiao Qingyu heard the words “Brother Sheng” multiple times.
It seemed that overnight everyone believed there was an unspoken attraction between her and Ming Sheng. Thinking back to last year, because of her conflict with Ming Sheng, also overnight, she had faced silent but complete isolation at school — truly a case of “clouds with one wave of the hand, rain with another,” Qiao Qingyu thought helplessly, Ming Sheng’s dark eyes flashing before her, unconsciously raising the corners of her mouth.
That day, after spending nearly half an hour researching “school versus major importance” in the computer room, Qiao Qingyu found Sun Yinglong and told him she had decided to apply for Peking University’s independent recruitment.
Ming Sheng said she “definitely didn’t want to be controlled,” and he was very accurate. Was Peking University always her dream? No. The words “Peking University” were just a dream full of halos that developed from her good grades this semester, meeting everyone’s expectations. It could even be considered following the trend out of vanity.
She liked writing, so studying Chinese Literature suited her. She wanted to pave the way for what she loved, to take control of her own life.
Sun Yinglong strongly approved of her choice.
“In these six months without your mother, I feel you’ve been getting better and better in every aspect, which is rare for a senior high school student,” he smiled. “Your exams are stable, you’re starting to participate in group activities, and you even have the energy to secretly participate in New Concept.”
Qiao Qingyu smiled shyly.
“Your mother would be very proud.”
“But I’m going against my mother’s wishes…”
“It’s alright,” Sun Yinglong waved his hand dismissively, “I’ll help explain it to her. Young people should have higher dreams. I have faith in you, in writing, you can achieve something.”
Qiao Qingyu was very moved.
The thin notebook she had bought at the stationery store to record her feelings was almost full. That day, she turned to the last page and carefully recorded that warm week.
The wings of sunlight were snow-white, and the future hung high in the blue sky, shining brightly.