The most significant difference between Huan’zhou and Shun’yun lies in their boundaries. Shun’yun, nestled in the mountains, was a small county town with clear outlines. The emerald Qin’an River divided it in half with a curve, each end connected to the highway by a bridge, distinctly separating it from the outside world. In Huan’zhou, however, buildings stretched as far as the eye could see, making it impossible to discern any boundaries.
Qiao Qingyu had never explored the limits of Chaoyang New Village. She only knew that the community gate near the bus stop lived up to the phrase “commanding the mountains and rivers” – the people pouring out of the complex could seemingly fill the entire Shun’yun. As the bus slowly arrived, she became a drop in the human tide surging towards the doors, her feet moving independently of her brain, her expression numb and indistinct. Disembarking wasn’t for school; it was like falling into a bottomless ocean. Unlike in Shun’yun, the mocking looks grew bolder due to Qiao Qingyu’s silence, while avoidance became more resolute because she was new.
Qiao Qingyu couldn’t understand why rumors spread so quickly in Huan’zhou, reaching her parents’ ears in the noodle shop by the third day. Later, she learned it was because someone had simultaneously posted about her “insulting” Ming Sheng and Qiao Baiyu’s situation on both the Second Middle School forum and the local Huan’zhou forum, Ba Ba Lou.
Ming Sheng’s retorts often echoed in her mind. “Pitiful” and “boring” might be facts, “annoying” was hurtful but could be ignored, but “stupid”?
Qiao Qingyu wasn’t sure how Ming Sheng had learned about Qiao Baiyu, but her instinct told her he was blindly repeating Shun’yun’s rumors – “self-degradation” and “AIDS” were the nightmares that had haunted her for over two years. So, wasn’t his belief in rumors the same as her belief in her parents? What right did he have to call her stupid?
On a day when Qiao Jinyu was home, Qiao Qingyu researched online and found that “AIDS with appendicitis” was indeed a thing. She also read that AIDS patients were more likely to develop appendicitis and experience complications during treatment. Considering that typical appendicitis surgery only required a few days of recovery, and recalling that her parents had stayed in Huan’zhou for two months previously, Qiao Qingyu’s suspicions were subtly confirmed.
However, she couldn’t confront Ming Sheng with her findings to refute his claim that she was “stupid.” The rumors turning out to be true made her feel like she didn’t even dare to step into school anymore.
Ironically, Qiao Jinyu begged her to bring him and some classmates to watch Ming Sheng play basketball at Huan’er Middle School, reasoning that he had already promised his friends, saying, “My sister is in Ming Sheng’s class, so it shouldn’t be a problem.” Qiao Qingyu angrily scolded him.
“Sis, my classmates showed me what’s online. I didn’t think you had the guts to scold Ming Sheng… But he didn’t do anything to you, right? They say he never messes with people in his class… You should try to get along, being in the same class and all. That’s Ming Sheng we’re talking about. If it were me, I’d already…”
“He’s the one who spread our sister’s story,” Qiao Qingyu interrupted the chattering Qiao Jinyu, “You spineless fool! Do you know how many cold shoulders I’ve gotten at school because of his words?”
“My classmates ask me about our big sister too, so I just tell them straight,” Qiao Jinyu said with a smile. “I’ll teach you a trick. Keep a few photos of your big sister from childhood to adulthood on your phone. When people ask, show them the photos and say pitifully that big sister was slandered by people back home. They’ll believe you then… The guys in my dorm were stunned when they saw big sister’s photos, nodding at everything I said… You should show them to Ming Sheng, you must show him!”
“Do you think our sister was slandered?” Qiao Qingyu asked thoughtfully. “Are all those nasty rumors just people making trouble for no reason?”
“Who cares,” Qiao Jinyu shrugged indifferently, “Nobody here knows big sister anyway, so we can say whatever we want!”
After a moment’s hesitation, Qiao Qingyu said, “I just looked up that appendicitis surgery only takes a few days. The day Dad got the call, he told us that our sister was already in surgery at the hospital, so he and Mom rushed over that night. Why did they end up staying in Huan’zhou for two months?”
“Wasn’t there a major hemorrhage later?”
“But why the hemorrhage?” Qiao Qingyu fell into deep thought. “Why did people suddenly start saying our sister had AIDS?”
The word “AIDS” made Qiao Jinyu draw a sharp breath: “Sis, can we not mention that among family…”
“Is it taboo?” Qiao Qingyu looked at him. “Dad always says, ‘An upright person fears no shadow.’ If it’s false, why do Mom and Dad lack the confidence to face it?”
Qiao Jinyu’s mouth gaped in shock: “Sis, what are you getting at?”
“I want to understand why Mom and Dad endured two months in Huan’zhou,” Qiao Qingyu said. “What happened with our sister’s hemorrhage, and whether it was truly because of AIDS.”
“Oh.”
“You help me ask.”
“What?!”
“Just say your classmates keep asking about it, and you can barely get by,” Qiao Qingyu advised. “You’re boarding at school, so classmate relationships are important. You can’t be ostracized because of our sister, right? Mom and Dad will surely understand.”
Qiao Jinyu shook his head repeatedly: “No way, how dare I mention big sister in front of Mom and Dad? You know how it is…”
“I’ll take you guys to watch Ming Sheng play basketball at the Second Middle School,” Qiao Qingyu interrupted Qiao Jinyu, “In exchange for you asking Mom and Dad.”
Qiao Jinyu paused briefly, then asked confusedly: “Sis, it’s been over two years, why dwell on this upsetting matter now?”
“I’m suffering from everyone’s judgmental looks,” Qiao Qingyu looked at him seriously. “Since I can’t refute them, I might as well face the truth head-on.”
Qiao Qingyu quickly realized she had overestimated Qiao Jinyu; he had no intention of honoring their exchange. After watching the school team’s practice match at Huan’er Middle School, he disappeared with his sports school classmates and wasn’t seen until Sunday evening.
“It’s all because you can’t get along with your classmates. You’ve ruined things for me,” Qiao Jinyu complained to Qiao Qingyu over the phone. “At the gym, people saw you and deliberately stayed far away from us. My classmates were so nervous! As if we had the plague or something!”
“How is that my fault?” Qiao Qingyu shouted back angrily. “Did I get AIDS? I’m a victim too!”
“Can you stop saying those three words?!” Qiao Jinyu yelled at Qiao Qingyu for the first time.
Qiao Qingyu hung up the phone in a rage and then fell into deep silence. After a while, she came to her senses and realized her lips were sore from biting them.
She paced around the room twice, looking for the plaque that used to hang on the wall, intending to place it on the floor and stomp on it viciously. But she couldn’t find it. Li Fanghao always kept things well, and this useless yet indispensable plaque was probably safely tucked away in some corner of her parent’s room.
And her parents’ room was always locked.
When Qiao Qingyu was younger, she could freely enter her parents’ room. But during the summer when Qiao Baiyu was transitioning from seventh to eighth grade, fifty yuan went missing from her parents’ desk drawer. That year, Qiao Baiyu was thirteen, she was seven, and Jinyu was six. Their parents made them stand in a line and interrogated them, but couldn’t get anything out of them.
As a child, Qiao Qingyu only thought Qiao Baiyu was a coward who didn’t dare admit her wrongdoing. Now, she admired Qiao Baiyu’s fortitude. Refusing to confess even if it meant her younger siblings were scolded alongside her, such determination was something Qiao Qingyu couldn’t achieve – her conscience would interfere. If Qiao Baiyu were still alive now, she certainly wouldn’t be like her, so concerned about what others said.
Looking at the tightly closed door of her parents’ room, Qiao Qingyu thought that if it were her sister, she might have kicked it open in anger. She couldn’t do that; she had always despised Qiao Baiyu’s reckless impulsiveness. But at this moment, for the first time, she also began to despise the caution and thoroughness she had always prided herself on. This powerful force had led her down a different path than her sister, but at the same time, it had woven a net around her, constricting her ability to breathe freely.
The part of the truth about her sister that her parents had hidden away must be found in something in their room. For instance, Qiao Baiyu’s medical records from back then, or documents from when Qiao Lusheng sued afterward.
Finding just one of these would confirm her suspicions and allow her to live with clarity in this world of swirling rumors.
After the Mid-Autumn Festival, the weather turned cooler. As Li Fanghao was leaving home, she glanced back at Qiao Qingyu hanging clothes on the balcony. Her young daughter, standing on tiptoes and stretching her thin arms towards the sky, looked just like a bird trying hard to spread its wings.
She immediately thought of Qiao Baiyu and was startled: When had Qingyu grown up?
What seemed like a bird about to take flight was a fish diving deep. The resurgent rumors had flooded into their home like a deluge, and Qiao Qingyu appeared to be the one breathing most steadily. Li Fanghao had heard from Qiao Jinyu that his sister was unwelcome at school and that she was suffering. But she couldn’t detect the slightest ripple on Qiao Qingyu’s face. She studied diligently as usual, helped in the shop for an hour after school as always, and maintained a proper smile in the face of others’ curious glances as if telling her parents that everything was fine and they needn’t worry.
It was just that her eyes were as deep and calm as the sea. She had learned to hide herself.
Li Fanghao thought back carefully and determined that Qiao Qingyu’s transformation had occurred after she had reprimanded her for texting a classmate named Ming Sheng. Since then, she had been preoccupied, growing more considerate day by day.
When Li Fanghao returned home that evening, Qiao Qingyu had already taken down the laundry and was sitting on the sofa, folding clothes neatly while watching the news channel.
“Have you finished your homework?” Li Fanghao asked.
“Yes, and I’ve already showered.”
Li Fanghao nodded approvingly and walked into her room. As she put down her bag, she heard Qiao Qingyu knocking on the half-open door.
“Mom, can I put your clothes on the bed?”
“Sure.”
The first time Qiao Qingyu came in, Li Fanghao was bent over her desk, hurriedly writing something in a notebook with her back turned. The second time, Li Fanghao was stooping to get pajamas from the wardrobe. The third time, Li Fanghao was sitting at the foot of the bed, waiting for her with a suspicious look.
“Couldn’t you have brought all these clothes in at once? Isn’t it a waste of time going back and forth?”
Qiao Qingyu responded, “I’ll remember next time.”
She quickly put down the socks in her hand and turned to leave, but Li Fanghao held her back.
“Qingqing, sit down. Mom wants to chat with you,” Li Fanghao patted the bed. “Come here.”
Qiao Qingyu obediently sat down beside Li Fanghao.
“How’s school?”
“It’s okay,” Qiao Qingyu replied. “The teachers teach very fast; sometimes I can’t keep up… My classmates are all very capable, many can balance studies and extracurricular activities… Of course, I know my task is just to study, not to think about other things…”
Li Fanghao’s pensive gaze made her heart tremble.
“There are some things I’m not used to like the cafeteria doesn’t have any spicy dishes, everything’s quite bland…”
“Be honest with Mom,” Li Fanghao suddenly took her hand. “Last time when Mom called that boy classmate of yours, were you angry with Mom?”
Qiao Qingyu hesitated, then followed Li Fanghao’s lead: “I’m not angry anymore, Mom. It was my fault.”
“Mm,” Li Fanghao nodded, holding Qiao Qingyu’s hand. Her expression softened at Qiao Qingyu’s honesty. “It’s normal for you to be upset, but you need to understand why Mom is so strict. It’s all for your good… You’re grown up now, not a little girl anymore. You need to be aware of many things…”
She lowered her head, stroking the back of Qiao Qingyu’s hand as she spoke. Qiao Qingyu took the opportunity to discreetly survey the room. There was little furniture: an empty single desk by the window, and a yellowing white three-panel wardrobe by the door. Looking up, she noticed the familiar deep red plaque placed on top of the wardrobe, uncovered and likely dusty.
“Mom wants to have a heart-to-heart with you,” Li Fanghao looked up, startling Qiao Qingyu into quickly averting her gaze. “You like studying, which is good, but as a girl, what’s more important is to keep yourself pure, and later find someone responsible to have a good life with… That’s what worries Dad and Mom the most…”
“Mom,” Qiao Qingyu grasped Li Fanghao’s hand in return, “At this stage, I’ll focus on my studies and not think about other things. After college graduation, I’ll find a good person and live a good life. You don’t need to worry.”
This sensible answer left Li Fanghao momentarily speechless.
“It’s getting late. Let me help you put away the clothes.” Qiao Qingyu stood up, opened the wardrobe, quickly scanned its contents, then turned back to Li Fanghao with an obedient smile, efficiently sorting and folding the clothes and pants into their respective compartments.
Li Fanghao watched her with satisfaction.
“I’ll go to bed now. I need to get up early for school tomorrow,” Qiao Qingyu said as she left the room, deliberately closing the door behind her.
Closing her bedroom door, she flopped onto her bed like a jumping carp.
Just moments ago, while helping put away the clothes, she noticed a white metal box at the bottom of the dark side of the wardrobe.
It looked like a safe. Without a doubt, if she could get the key or passcode to the safe, all her questions would be answered.