Zong Hang felt like he was being thrown out.
Everything happened too quickly – just as soon as the notice was given, a car was already prepared. They claimed “Only today did we manage to arrange a vehicle,” and blocked the doorway, watching him pack his belongings.
Something was wrong. Even in ancient times when homes were confiscated, they at least issued an imperial decree first.
Full of doubts but unable to get any answers, he could only drag his feet. However, his meager belongings were so few that even deliberately taking his time couldn’t stretch it out very long.
Finally, clutching a small bag, he sat in the tent refusing to move. His worried expression made him look like someone about to flee from war, reluctant to abandon even a broken house and three measly plots of land.
Yi Sa crouched at the entrance, tying up the tent flap: “Let’s go, the car is waiting.”
“Yi Sa, tell me the truth, has something happened?”
Yi Sa sighed: “What could have happened? Things have concluded, so we’re sending you home for a family reunion – think about your parents, haven’t they been worried sick without news from you for so long? What kind of son are you being?”
Whenever she brought up his parents, Zong Hang would be at a loss for words, feeling guilty even about arguing: while his previous lack of contact was understandable, now that everything was settled, his reluctance to leave made him seem like an ungrateful wretch.
He had no choice but to duck out of the tent.
Yi Sa led him toward the car.
Zong Hang repeatedly sought confirmation: “You’ll come to find me when you’re free, right? I’ll cover your expenses.”
Yi Sa nodded: “I’ll come when I have time.”
“If you’re busy, can I come find you? Don’t turn off your phone or block me.”
Such insecurity in his voice made Yi Sa laugh: “I got it.”
Her tone was too dismissive, making Zong Hang even more dejected: Yi Sa had always been a clever deceiver.
The vehicle taking Zong Hang was an ordinary-looking SUV, fitting the Three Families’ style: always low-key, preferring to blend in with the crowd rather than stand out. Of course, there were exceptions like Ding Yudie, but since it didn’t affect the bigger picture, they let it slide.
The driver’s door was open, with Ding Panling giving instructions to the driver.
Strange – why did he need to personally oversee such a minor task as sending off Zong Hang?
As Yi Sa pondered this, Ding Panling approached: “We need the car on our end too. I’ve just told the driver to take Zong Hang to a larger town, like Golmud, then arrange another car there with a reliable driver to take him straight home, since he doesn’t have ID and can’t buy tickets – don’t worry about the costs, we’ll cover them.”
This arrangement was quite thoughtful. Zong Hang said, “Thank you.”
Ding Panling smiled, then got to his real purpose: “There are two things I need to confirm with you.”
No wonder he came to see off the car. Yi Sa became slightly guarded: “What things?”
Ding Panling looked at Zong Hang: “First, we never want outsiders spreading the word about the Three Families’ affairs, especially recent events. An important duty of the Council is to silence those who might talk too much.”
He left it at that, not spelling it out too explicitly.
Zong Hang nodded: “I understand.”
“Second, when you went down to Jin Tang at Hukou, were you conscious the whole time? Or did you lose consciousness at any point?”
Why this sudden question about Hukou? Zong Hang was surprised.
Ding Panling noticed his hesitation: “Don’t overthink it, I just want to get all the details straight, so I need to confirm some things with you.”
Zong Hang recalled carefully: “When I went into the water, I suddenly started sliding down, like going down a cylindrical, spiral slide, bumping and crashing around, everything spinning. When I entered Jin Tang cave, there was another hard impact – it would’ve been impossible to stay conscious the whole time. I must have blacked out for a while, but I came too quickly, woke up first actually.”
Ding Panling made an affirmative sound: “Then you saw Ding Yudie sitting there like a wax figure, and Yi Sa the same way, right?”
“Yes.”
“No mistakes in your memory?”
Zong Hang’s expression was earnest: “Absolutely none.”
Ding Panling stopped questioning but gave Yi Sa a meaningful look.
Yi Sa’s cheeks burned: When Zong Hang had initially described their descent to Ding Panling, he had covered for her by saying she was like Ding Yudie, mentioned in passing, but in reality, she had been holding onto Zong Hang’s legs.
Her secret was now exposed, and Ding Panling surely knew the underwater situation had been different. Zong Hang’s insistence on his version was somewhat embarrassing.
Fortunately, Ding Panling didn’t pursue it further, instead tactfully saying: “I have work to do, I won’t see you off. You two can talk.”
There wasn’t much to say, and too much conversation wouldn’t make it seem like a “normal” goodbye anyway.
The luggage was too small to need the trunk. Yi Sa helped Zong Hang and his belongings into the back seat, closed the door, and patted the car, signaling the driver to go.
The driver gave her an “OK” gesture and started the engine.
Yi Sa stepped back, then back again, making way for the car.
The driver must have washed the car that morning – the body was gleaming, the windows clean, reflecting her slightly distorted figure.
After the car pulled away, Yi Sa stood directly behind it, wondering if her reflection would appear in the side mirror.
She couldn’t see it – the mirror was too small, transformed into a dazzling bright spot by the sunlight, like something being pulled away, getting further and further away.
Then it stopped.
Yi Sa was startled, unconsciously taking two steps forward.
What happened? Was the car stuck in the marsh?
After watching a while longer, it seemed not – the car door opened, and Zong Hang got out, running back, panting so hard he had to rest twice.
Yi Sa went to meet him, calling out from a distance: “What’s wrong? Forgot something?”
Zong Hang shook his head, completed those final few steps, and stopped in front of her. Whether from running or something else, his face was slightly flushed. He couldn’t quite meet her eyes, his hands clenched tightly at his sides.
The morning air was cold, yet he was somehow sweating.
He heard his stammering voice: “Yi Sa, I’ve… always liked you a lot, did you know?”
Having said it, he finally gathered the courage to look directly into her eyes.
Strange – she had no expression. They say eyes are the windows to the soul, but hers reflected no thoughts, like bottomless black holes that couldn’t reflect him or the world.
Zong Hang was dumbfounded. He had been excited, nervous, secretly pleased, and slightly anxious, but under her gaze, all these emotions slowly disappeared, like sand blown away by the wind, the snow melted by the sun, leaving only confusion.
He couldn’t help calling her name again: “Yi Sa?”
Yi Sa said: “Oh.”
What kind of “oh” was that? Shouldn’t she have some reaction? This wasn’t how she should react.
Zong Hang threw caution to the winds – he’d already spoken up, and whether he stuck his neck out or pulled it back, the blade would fall anyway. Better to take the cut than torture himself with speculation.
“Then what about you… what do you think?”
After asking, his scalp tingled as he realized how clumsy he’d been: after all that preparation, wanting to be unexpected and memorable, the words he spoke were neither impressive nor brilliant.
Yi Sa smiled: “Zong Hang, is this your first time pursuing a girl?”
Yes, was there something wrong with that?
Yi Sa avoided looking at him, her gaze circling from his ear to settle on his hair.
She didn’t want to see his face.
She said: “It’s okay, you’ll learn with experience that some one-sided feelings just don’t get responses. But you’re a really good person, you’ll definitely find happiness in the future.”
She gave him a smile after speaking, deliberately keeping her gaze unfocused, still not letting herself see his face.
Zong Hang stood there for a while, watching Yi Sa leave.
He thought she might turn back halfway, but she didn’t. She walked away seemingly light-heartedly, into the sunlight – the sun had already climbed so high, its golden rays quickly enveloped her.
When he rubbed his eyes and looked again, she had already returned to the camp. The camp was full of people and tents everywhere; no matter how carefully he looked, he couldn’t find her anymore.
Zong Hang walked back, his legs feeling powerless as if filled with lead. He dragged his feet, taking a long time to reach the car. The driver had grown impatient, poking his head out to ask: “What was that all about? Taking so long!”
Zong Hang said: “Nothing.”
He got back in the car.
The car started moving again, bouncing and swaying.
Zong Hang felt something pressing into his palm.
He opened his hand, his palm sweaty, with a small plastic fish lying there.
Among his belongings, there wasn’t anything special. When he got out of the car, he had searched through everything repeatedly, finally pulling two small fish from the fishing machine – one emerald green, one red.
The red one was in his pocket, the green one clutched in his hand. He had planned that if she agreed, he would give it to her as a token – red for the man, green for the woman. She would take the green one, he’d keep the red one. Since they could both go underwater, being compared to fish wasn’t inappropriate – how fitting it would have been.
Who knew he wouldn’t get to give it to her?
Zong Hang looked at it for a while, then carefully tucked the little green fish into his pocket too, then held the pocket tight, as if afraid someone might snatch it away.
They drove all day, only eating some dried food for lunch. The driver felt somewhat embarrassed, repeatedly apologizing for the “simple meal.”
Zong Hang didn’t mind – anyway, everything he ate now tasted like chewing wax.
They reached Golmud at nightfall. The driver found a decent hotel, helped Zong Hang check-in, noted down the room number, and left him enough money: “I’ll try to arrange a driver tonight, he’ll contact you by tomorrow at the latest and pick you up directly from the hotel, okay?”
It was fine.
After the driver left, Zong Hang realized he’d forgotten to ask: Why aren’t you staying here?
Are you driving back tonight? That would be too exhausting.
But whatever – his own heart was already frozen through, so why worry about whether others were wearing enough clothes?
Zong Hang took some money, originally planning to find a place to eat, but ended up wandering, passing several restaurants without entering: seeing a bustling whole roast lamb restaurant, he felt like a lonely ghost going in alone – too miserable; seeing street food stalls, he felt he was already pitiful enough today, eating such simple food would be even more miserable.
So he walked without purpose, not knowing where he’d ended up. His heart felt stifled, wanting someone to talk to. He took out his phone, but his contact list was depressingly sparse.
Just two people: Yi Sa and Jing Xiu.
He couldn’t talk to Yi Sa, so Jing Xiu? Though their last parting hadn’t been pleasant.
He hesitated for a moment, then still dialed Jing Xiu’s number: he felt she wouldn’t mind, and besides, she’d seen him in even more pathetic states before, so he didn’t care about saving face.
Jing Xiu answered quickly, her voice gentle: “Zong Hang, where are you now? Are you doing okay?”
Before Zong Hang could respond, someone behind him impatiently pushed: “Move aside, can’t you watch where you’re going while on the phone? You’re blocking the way.”
He stepped aside to let them pass, thinking how nice it was to have friends: no matter how unpleasant things got, they would still inquire softly, unlike strangers who would only find him a nuisance.
Zong Hang said: “I’m fine…”
He had meant to exchange pleasantries and ask how Jing Xiu was doing, but suddenly what came out was: “Jing Xiu, Yi Sa doesn’t like me.”
Jing Xiu paused: “You told her?”
“Yes, she said I’m a good person, and that one-sided feelings don’t get responses – that means she doesn’t like me, right? Right?”
His tone still carried a hint of hope, as if wishing she would contradict him, give a negative answer.
Jing Xiu didn’t know how to respond.
Zong Hang quickly continued: “It’s okay, I’m fine, I just… wanted to tell you, since you asked before, I just wanted to… let you know.”
Jing Xiu tried to comfort him: “Actually, I always thought Yi Sa liked you quite a bit. If a girl disliked someone, how could she be willing to live together for so long?”
Zong Hang said: “That’s what I thought too.”
While he had no experience in love, he wasn’t stupid: if he had detected even the slightest hint of annoyance or rejection from Yi Sa, he would never have rashly confessed.
He walked while talking on the phone, following whatever path he found, turning at intersections, telling Jing Xiu about this chaotic morning: there had been no signs before going to sleep, then suddenly he was told to leave, the car was ready immediately, his confession was instantly rejected, leaving his mind foggy all day, unable to make sense of anything.
After listening, Jing Xiu offered her thoughts: “I don’t know what you all were doing, you’re as mysterious as Ding Xi, but if there were no signs the night before and this was suddenly arranged in the morning, could something have happened in the morning that you don’t know about?”
Zong Hang said: “That’s what I thought too, but my mind is too chaotic to think clearly.”
Jing Xiu pondered: “Was what you were doing dangerous? I always feel uneasy about things Ding Xi is involved in. Could she be making you leave to protect you from getting involved?”
Dangerous?
Zong Hang’s heart stirred.
He remembered Yi Sa had mentioned the word “dangerous,” emphasizing how he “almost got killed by the Taisui, how dangerous that was.”
Could that be the reason? His heart suddenly felt a tiny flutter of hope.
“Also, when you saw her this morning, was anything different from before? You need to notice the details, sometimes the smallest details are the most telling.”
Zong Hang tried hard to remember: Yi Sa hadn’t shown any obvious changes in front of him, but earlier when Ding Xi had described her as “having an episode,” he had thought it meant burst blood vessels, but now it seemed Yi Sa’s behavior might have been unusual…
Also, when Yi Sa was sitting on the ground, as she got up, she rolled up a soft-cover booklet from under her. Yi Sa had never been particularly fussy, she would sit anywhere, at most dusting it off first – why would she especially bring a booklet to sit on?
Could she have read something in that booklet?
Something must have happened that she didn’t want him to know about, so she rushed to send him back to his parents, not wanting him to get involved in dangerous matters again.
After hanging up, Zong Hang’s heart was pounding.
The street was busy with people, brightly lit.
Before, others had always led him in everything – first following Yi Xiao, then Yi Sa, following step by step, going wherever directed.
This was the first time he was alone, deciding everything.
He needed to do something.
Looking up, not knowing where he had wandered to, Zong Hang decided to return to his lodgings first.
He crossed the road, stopping in front of a luxurious hotel – it would be easier to get a taxi here.
While waiting for a taxi, he happened to glance at the hotel’s side parking lot and suddenly noticed a familiar-looking SUV – it seemed to be the same one that had brought him here today.
Afraid of mistaking it, he walked closer to look.
It seemed to be the same car.
Looking at the hotel, it was more luxurious than where he was staying: no wonder the driver hadn’t stayed at his hotel – he had come to a better one. Just for one night’s stay, there had to be such different treatment? Was this driver being too particular?
As he was thinking, there was movement on the other side of the car, as if someone was coming to open the door. Zong Hang instinctively wanted to avoid an awkward encounter…
Wait!
The lighting was dim, making it hard to see clearly, but he could see the person’s head silhouetted against the car window. The rest didn’t matter, but crucially, on that head were two fluttering little wings…
Zong Hang blurted out: “Ding Yudie?”
The head stopped moving, and after a moment, peered over the car roof.
It was Ding Yudie.