Jian Mingshu couldn’t give a straightforward answer to Lu Chang’s question; she could only blink in response.
He was dressed in a light blue patched shirt, the scholar’s attire given before entering Mingde Academy, worn for three years and washed to a faded hue. On his feet were the layered cloth shoes gifted by Aunt Zeng, devoid of even a fan pouch hanging from his waist. His hair was neatly tied under a hairnet, revealing a sharp and handsome face, his eyes particularly bright and clear.
Jian Mingshu loved looking at him; although he lacked any expensive possessions, he looked comfortable and tidy.
Xiao Qingting, however, felt her master deserved better.
At home, he was a decisive person with a sharp tongue, but strangely, in front of Lu Chang, he couldn’t showcase any of his skills, as if Lu Chang had given him some kind of soup that made him anxious to watch.
Jian Mingshu remained silent for a moment before awkwardly changing the subject with a smile, “Why are you still wearing old clothes? Didn’t I have two new sets brought for you a few days ago?”
Lu Chang rarely accepted gifts from the Jian family, and Jian Mingshu knew his temperament well. Even today, the herbs she brought over were just those commonly used by Aunt Zeng. Thinking that today’s release of the list was his auspicious day, she had sent over two sets of his usual cotton clothes a few days ago, avoiding any expensive materials in fear of his refusal.
Before Lu Chang could answer, Xiao Qingting whispered strangely in her ear, “Madam, the clothes were returned yesterday.”
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Jian Mingshu was embarrassed and replied through gritted teeth.
“I was afraid you’d be upset,” Xiao Qingting said with concern.
Lu Chang saw the two talking in whispers to each other but paid no mind, striding into the house and asking as he walked, “Is there something you need at my home?”
Jian Mingshu hurriedly set aside the matter of the clothes and said, “I heard Aunt Zeng’s old illness flared up, so I came to check on her.” Then she looked at his back and asked, “Lu Chang, stop, your clothes are all dusty. Where did you get it smeared?”
Lu Chang turned his head and looked, indeed finding a large patch of dust on his shoulder. He raised his hand to brush it off, but there were still difficult spots, so Jian Mingshu reached out—only for him to wave her away.
“Don’t bother. This dust…” Lu Chang’s expression darkened. “It’s caused by your father.”
She simply couldn’t let sleeping dogs lie.
He had gone to see the list posted at the county office and nearly been detained by Master Jian, who was waiting below the list. He almost had to wheedle and deceive his way into the Jian family, slipping away when the opportunity arose. Hurrying home, he tidied up, only to miss some spots.
“My father?” Jian Mingshu’s eyes lit up suddenly. “You made the list! What place?”
Lu Chang rubbed his forehead—Jian Mingshu’s mind worked differently from others. Most people would be embarrassed by such comments, but not her; she seemed not to understand people’s words.
He didn’t want to answer her, walking straight into the house and saying, “Thank you for your concern; my mother’s illness is no longer serious, just needing rest. Please go back.”
Jian Mingshu was not one to miss facial expressions, and with her eyebrows slightly drooping in a somewhat melancholic pause, she heard Lu Chang call her back, “Wait!” Her eyes brightened again, sparkling with life.
“There are a few things I need to clarify with you. Over these years, I am deeply grateful for the care from the Jian family, and I am determined to repay it in the future.” Lu Chang carefully considered his words before speaking, but upon seeing her bright eyes and radiant expression, he found himself struggling to continue.
Counting silently, he had known Jian Mingshu for ten years since moving to Jiangning.
He paused, mustering his courage. “It’s just that between you and me…”
Unfortunately, before he could finish his sentence, he was interrupted.
“Has Ah Chang returned?”
The door from inside swung open, and the speaker stood there, dressed plainly with a dark brown cloak draped over, and a matching headscarf covering her hair. Despite nearing forty, her beauty was striking, with gentle almond-shaped eyes and delicate eyebrows, her appearance still retaining a youthful charm. She was none other than Lu Chang’s mother.
“Mother,” Lu Chang hurried forward.
Upon seeing Jian Mingshu, Madam Zeng immediately smiled, “Mingshu is here too. Come in quickly, it’s cold outside.”
“Oh, okay.” Jian Mingshu smiled warmly, approaching to take Madam Zeng’s hand affectionately, helping her inside.
—
Jian Mingshu had known Madam Zeng before she knew Lu Chang.
To tell the full story, Madam Zeng was from Wuhu. She became a widow at a young age and raised Lu Chang alone. When Lu Chang was seven, a flood in Wuhu submerged the entire city. Madam Zeng fled with Lu Chang, wandering and struggling for two years before finally settling in Jiangning County. During their early years in Jiangning, Madam Zeng sold dumplings during the day and did embroidery at night to make ends meet.
Her overwork eventually took a toll on her health, and within a few years, she collapsed from exhaustion. Fortunately, by then, Lu Chang was able to support the family. He was particularly determined and topped his class in the children’s school, which led to his admission to Mingde Academy against the odds. Not only were his tuition fees waived, but he also got a job copying books for the academy. Mother and son endured those years together.
Jian Mingshu first met Madam Zeng through her embroidery work. At that time, Jian Mingshu’s mother was still alive and admired Madam Zeng’s embroidery skills, sympathizing with her lonely plight. Thus, she entrusted Madam Zeng with the family’s embroidery tasks. Later, when her mother fell seriously ill, Madam Zeng, grateful for the kindness shown to her by Jian Mingshu’s mother, frequently visited the Jian household to keep her company and alleviate her boredom. During this time, she also cared for Jian Mingshu for a while, which led to Jian Mingshu and Lu Chang becoming familiar with each other.
She vividly remembered when she was nine years old, her mother passed away. Her father was busy with funeral arrangements and neglected her. She stood dazed by her mother’s coffin until Lu Chang noticed her distress, pulling her to the backyard and wiping away her tears, consoling her in a soft voice… He had once been such a gentle person, but over the years, perhaps even he had forgotten himself.
After her mother’s passing, Madam Zeng avoided entering the Jian household to avoid suspicion. Her opportunities to meet with them became fewer, and she couldn’t remember when they had grown distant.
Counting on her fingers, she had known Lu Chang for ten years already, meeting during their childhood and youth. Now she had reached maturity, and he was approaching manhood. Ten years had passed, and their innocent childhood interactions had changed.
—
Madam Zeng liked Jian Mingshu, a fact that was evident on her face, with no attempts to hide it. Once inside, Jian Mingshu was seated by Madam Zeng, who instructed Lu Chang to fetch water and make tea, treating him almost like a servant. Lu Chang was reserved and serious with others, but exceedingly gentle and accommodating with his widowed mother, setting aside his cold demeanor to prepare tea for both.
After exchanging a few casual words, Lu Chang poured the tea. Madam Zeng watched Jian Mingshu sneak glances at Lu Chang and sighed imperceptibly. How could she not understand the girl’s feelings? However, though Lu Chang usually deferred to her on minor matters, he was not so dutiful when it came to significant decisions.
As for his life’s decisions, as his mother, she couldn’t interfere.
“Brother Lu made it onto the top list, which is a cause for celebration. I just wonder what place you earned?” After spending some time chatting with Madam Zeng, Jian Mingshu eventually steered the conversation towards Lu Chang.
“Ah Chang, did you make it onto the list?” Madam Zeng only just remembered the posting of the list today.
Lu Chang placed a small dish of peeled chestnuts on the table and glanced at Madam Zeng—she wasn’t his real mother; Jian Mingshu was her daughter.
“I did, as the top scorer.”
“The top scorer? What place is that?” Madam Zeng hesitated, puzzled, as she turned to Jian Mingshu.
“The top scorer… is the first place on the list.” Jian Mingshu felt a bit dizzy and light-headed. Looking at Lu Chang’s indifferent expression, she felt as if this wasn’t such a big deal. But when she finally spoke, she suddenly regained her senses and stood up from her chair, “Brother Lu made it to the top scorer!”
She almost knocked over the chestnut kernels on the table, and Lu Chang had to press down on the table with force—she seemed as though she had topped the list.
“The… top… top… place?” Madam Zeng stuttered, also standing up. “I have to go burn incense! Ah Chang, you keep Ming Shu company for a while.”
Madam Zeng walked away as she spoke, leaving Lu Chang and Jian Mingshu alone in the room.
Lu Chang remained silent. Although this was a joyous occasion, the atmosphere was unexpectedly tense.
After a moment of silence, Jian Mingshu spoke up, “The imperial examination will be in March next year. It’s already late autumn now. When do you plan to leave for the capital? Before or after the New Year?”
“I plan to leave before the New Year. Early spring brings rain and snow, making travel difficult.” Lu Chang pushed the dish of chestnut kernels towards her, “Have some chestnuts.”
“That’s true. The sooner you depart, the sooner you can settle in peace. Do you have enough money for the journey?” Jian Mingshu picked one—sweet and sticky, peeled by him with the skin completely removed.
“I’ve saved up over the years, and with the provincial government’s subsidy for travel expenses, it should be enough.” Lu Chang replied.
“Since the journey to Bianjing is long, especially in the late winter, you should pack more warm clothes and prepare emergency medicine to avoid being stranded without medical help along the way. Aunt Zeng will take care of things here for you, so don’t worry.” Jian Mingshu planned for him, but suddenly thinking of something else, she said, “Wait a minute, since you were named the top scholar, according to the usual practice in recent years, the provincial government will send you to Bianjing. Why do you need to travel on your own?”
“Because I plan to take my mother with me to Bianjing and get settled early.” Just this sentence made Jian Mingshu’s hand pause in mid-air, and the chestnut kernel she picked fell back into the tray.
“Take Aunt Zeng with you?” She repeated, “Are you not planning to return to Jiangning?”
“I’m not coming back.” Lu Chang said quietly, “What I wanted to talk to you about earlier was this.”
Jian Mingshu looked down at the plate of neatly peeled chestnuts and said nothing.
“For your family’s care over the years, I, Lu Chang, have no way to thank you. I will thank you first, and if I have the opportunity in the future, I will return the favor.” As he spoke, he stood up, bowed to her with clasped hands, and bowed down.
Although he had a position at the academy, Lu Chang’s earnings barely sustained him day-to-day. When Madam Zeng fell seriously ill, the medical expenses were considerable, and they had borrowed money from the Jian family. Though they had repaid the loan over the years, the indebtedness remained, not to mention the significant help Jian Mingshu’s mother had provided to his family while alive. Additionally, Mr. Jian’s contributions to the Mingde Academy to nurture scholars included Lu Chang.
Regardless of Mr. Jian’s intentions, Lu Chang acknowledged his debt to the Jian family. He believed in repaying even a drop of kindness with a gushing spring. However, when it came to matters as significant as a lifelong commitment, he hesitated.
“Lu Chang, is there nothing left between us but this debt of gratitude?” Jian Mingshu slowly lifted her head, her ink-black eyes still bright. “Or do you see me, like my father, as someone who seeks only wealth and prestige, trying to find a suitable son-in-law, hence your friendly gestures?”
At this, Lu Chang lowered his head—Jian Mingshu’s clear gaze was like a mirror reflecting him.
“I don’t think that way. Don’t overthink it,” he replied.
“Is that so?” Jian Mingshu smiled faintly. “Lu Chang, we’ve known each other for ten years. What do you think in your heart, do you think I don’t know? I admit that over these years, my father did indeed have ambitions for power and influence, and it’s only natural that you fear being used under the guise of gratitude. But we have a bond from childhood. Yet, you still avoid me like a snake.”
“I don’t,” Lu Chang raised his head, gazing steadily at her. “Boys and girls should not sit together after the age of six. Besides, you’re already of marriageable age. We should avoid any suspicion.”
“Then let me ask you…” Jian Mingshu met his gaze without flinching. “Setting aside everything that has happened, if I were not Mr. Jian’s daughter, would you be willing to marry me?”
Now that the topic was open, she wanted clarity.
“You are Mr. Jian’s cherished daughter. Regardless of the past or present, Lu Chang is not worthy of you, nor do I have any intention of seeking higher status.” Lu Chang spoke without hesitation.
“I understand.” Jian Mingshu’s expression remained unchanged. She gripped her collar tightly, then lifted the cup of tea he had just brewed from the table and toasted, “With tea instead of wine, I toast you. This may be our final farewell. I wish you prosperity in the years to come, advancing steadily year after year.”
With that, she drained the tea in one gulp.
Lu Chang furrowed his brow, about to speak when the sounds of drums and gongs outside interrupted. He pushed open the door and saw that his haste in running to the county office had caused the officials there to be late in delivering their congratulations. Now, they and the townspeople were celebrating outside his home.
Glancing around, he looked back to find Jian Mingshu.
The humble room was empty, save for the cold teacup on the table.
Jian Mingshu had quietly left from the back of the house.
Ten years had passed, and Jiangning was still not his hometown. As for her, she was just a passing guest in his life.