One shouldn’t slight the second grandson of the Duke’s family. With Lu Chang at home, Madam Zeng personally entertained Song Qing Zhao. What surprised her was that even after learning Lu Chang and Ming Shu were out, Song Qing Zhao still chose to wait for them.
Since it was dinner time, Madam Zeng invited him to stay for a meal. Song Qing Zhao readily agreed, sharing a simple meal at the Lu residence and chatting with Madam Zeng for a long while. Though he appeared refined and aristocratic, he was very courteous to his elders and quite conversational, never making Madam Zeng feel uncomfortable. Instead, he sparked her interest in conversation, leading to discussions about interesting stories from Jiangning County. However, what Song Qing Zhao asked about most was Ming Shu’s past.
Madam Zeng’s gaze toward Song Qing Zhao had taken on the warmth one shows to younger family members. The intentions of the Song family, Madam Xu, and Song Qing Zhao himself had been made clear enough – Madam Zeng understood. Whether considering family status or Song Qing Zhao’s character, this match was good, though there were many potential concerns. Regardless, Song Qing Zhao’s sincerity was undeniable.
As an elder, she appreciated such a well-mannered and sensible young person.
The two chatted for much of the day, but Lu Chang and Ming Shu still hadn’t returned. When Song Qing Zhao finally rose to leave, Madam Zeng intended to personally see him out. As she was escorting him with a lantern to the corridor and he was urging her to return inside, her eyes suddenly brightened.
“Look, they’re back.”
Song Qing Zhao turned to look and saw two people walking along the corridor.
Lu Chang carried two bottles of lychee syrup in one hand, walking beside Ming Shu and looking at her. The normally cold and dignified Top Scholar now wore a gentle smile, his eyes full of tenderness. Ming Shu carried a small horse-shaped paper lantern, head slightly lowered as she looked at the light, laughing and chatting endlessly with Lu Chang.
That wasn’t how a brother looked at a sister… He hadn’t understood before, only thinking Lu Chang was overly doting on his sister. When he had tried to win the lady’s heart, he naturally wanted to gain her brother’s approval. Now that he understood, he could only laugh bitterly.
He had treated Lu Chang as a brother, but Lu Chang…
The two were so absorbed in each other that they hadn’t noticed the people ahead until Madam Zeng called out to them. Only then did Lu Chang and Ming Shu both look up.
“Young… Master Song?” Ming Shu struggled with how to address Song Qing Zhao, finally deciding to keep her original form of address.
The gentle smile instantly vanished from Lu Chang’s lips as he cupped his hands to Song Qing Zhao: “What brings Young Master Song to visit so late at night?”
“What do you mean late-night visit? He’s been here for ages, waiting for you all evening and keeping this old woman company with conversation,” Madam Zeng answered for him.
“Looking for me?” Lu Chang considered what reason could make Song Qing Zhao wait an entire evening at his home, unless…
He glanced at Ming Shu and said coldly: “I have no official business with Young Master Song, and our private relationship is merely casual. I can’t think of anything that would require a late-night discussion. If Young Master Song has come for someone else, I can answer now – the Duke’s family status is too high for us to aspire to.”
The rejection was made in front of Ming Shu with unmistakable clarity. Ming Shu’s grip on the lantern tightened as she looked at Lu Chang in confusion – the other person hadn’t even said anything, had Brother gone mad?
She tugged at Lu Chang’s sleeve, hoping he wouldn’t continue.
Song Qing Zhao didn’t deny it, nor did he maintain his previous courtesy. Instead, he showed some aggression, saying: “Official Lu, what identity gives you the right to say such things? What qualifications do you have to make decisions?”
Lu Chang’s expression changed slightly, but then Song Qing Zhao continued: “Official Lu, shall we still discuss this?”
Ming Shu swore this was the first time she had seen Lu Chang lose his composure over a single sentence. Song Qing Zhao’s words carried deep meaning, otherwise, her brother wouldn’t have shown such an expression as if his vital point had been seized.
When Lu Chang spoke, his voice remained steady as he said to Ming Shu: “It’s late, please help Mother back to her room to rest.” He handed her the lychee syrup, then took a lantern and led the way, saying to Song Qing Zhao, “Young Master Song, this way please.”
The two men headed toward Lu Chang’s study.
Ming Shu was surprised by Lu Chang’s compromise and retreat. With a woman’s intuition, she felt their cryptic probing had something to do with her – that much was obvious, but they didn’t want her to know what.
She frowned slightly, then turned to support Madam Zeng, saying: “Mother, let me help you back.”
Night had deepened, and the Top Scholar’s study was unlit. Lu Chang brought Song Qing Zhao in with a lantern, lighting one lamp after another, while Song Qing Zhao turned to close the door tightly.
After lighting the lamps, Lu Chang extinguished the lighting stick and asked: “I don’t fully understand Young Master Song’s earlier words, please enlighten me.”
Song Qing Zhao went straight to the point: “I sent people to Jiangning County.”
With just one sentence, Lu Chang understood.
“So what of it?” He walked behind his desk, the candlelight illuminating his sharp features.
“Official Lu and Madam Zeng lived together in Jiangning for over ten years, seemingly with no third person, and certainly no sister named Ming Shu. There was indeed a young lady called Ming Shu in Jiangning County, but her surname wasn’t Lu – it was Jian.”
Song Qing Zhao still hadn’t fully recovered from the shock of hearing the news from Jiangning.
Lu Chang had no sister. Ming Shu’s surname was Jian – she was the only daughter of the Jian family in Jiangning, and the victim’s daughter who disappeared in the shocking Jiangning robbery case at the end of last year.
In one night, her family was destroyed, she was gravely injured and lost her soul, then was brought to Bianjing to live under a new identity.
He didn’t know whether to feel pain for Ming Shu’s great misfortune and loss of family, or shock at her experiences after losing her soul – she must know what happened to her family and must remember her relatives.
The truth would be too cruel for her.
“I’ve heard something about the Jian family case. Is Ming Shu that person?”
Lu Chang slowly sat in the round-backed chair, resting his elbows on the desk and looking up at him, silently confirming Song Qing Zhao’s question, then asked: “You came to ask about this – do you intend to tell her the truth?”
“If I had chosen to tell her, I wouldn’t have come to find you today.”
Indeed, Song Qing Zhao had hesitated. If he stripped away the layer covering Lu Chang, Lu Chang and Ming Shu could no longer be as close as they were now, but ultimately his concern for Ming Shu outweighed that bit of jealousy. He felt now wasn’t the time to let Ming Shu know the truth.
“Thank you,” Lu Chang said with genuine sincerity. “I happened to rescue Ming Shu when she was being pursued and fell from a cliff while traveling to the capital. Bringing her to Bianjing was unavoidable. The Jian family case isn’t simple – it involves too much. If Ming Shu rashly returned, she might be silenced. It happened to coincide with her soul loss and amnesia, so we pretended to be siblings. With Ming Shu’s temperament, if she knew about the Jian family matter, she would return to Jiangning. The Jian family had few members and was weak at the time – it would have been very difficult to protect her completely. Add to that her soul loss condition being susceptible to shock, so we’ve kept it hidden until now.”
Song Qing Zhao accepted this explanation.
“You needn’t thank me. I’m doing this for her,” Song Qing Zhao continued. “But let me ask you – what do you plan to do next? From what I know, the Jiangning Jian family case has been closed locally, with all the criminals caught. Pending review by the Court of Judicial Review, the danger should have passed, yet you still haven’t told Ming Shu the truth. Why is that?”
“This case isn’t closed. There are hidden circumstances still under investigation. We have some leads, but the implications are too great – I apologize, but I cannot disclose them,” Lu Chang met Song Qing Zhao’s gaze without flinching. “Once everything is clear and the true criminals are brought to justice, eliminating the danger, I will naturally tell Ming Shu the whole truth.”
Song Qing Zhao looked at him silently for a moment, then said: “Very well, I’ll believe what you say for now. I won’t tell Ming Shu about this matter for the time being. But Lu Chang, your feelings for Ming Shu are clear as day – they’re not brotherly affection.”
With the most crucial issue reaching a consensus, Lu Chang’s sharp demeanor softened. He leaned back in his chair, showing a trace of languidness in his brow similar to Ming Shu’s, and calmly said: “You’re the same, your feelings are equally clear…”
“You spend day and night with her…” This was what Song Qing Zhao found hardest to bear. Even for a proper gentleman, there was still a man’s jealousy.
“Not just day and night – I’ve known her for over ten years.”
The weight of more than a decade was extremely difficult to overcome.
“If I had any improper thoughts toward her, she would have already become a member of the Lu family long ago.” Thinking of the past, Lu Chang gazed at the candlelight, his eyes seeming to drift to former times with the flickering flame.
Those events felt as if they had happened just yesterday. At the time, he didn’t know what love was, and ten years passed in vain. If not for the Jian family tragedy, perhaps just as Ming Shu dreamed, by the time he achieved success and remembered his old flame, the young lady from Jiangning would already be married with children, leaving no place for him. He knew his past self would regret it, but his present self would surely regret it for life.
No one could replace Ming Shu’s position.
However, if the price of a destined relationship was the destruction of her family, he would rather choose lifelong regret, would rather watch her marry another and live happily than have her face such a great catastrophe in life.
Yet, there are no “what ifs” in the world. Some things, once they happen, have happened. What can be grasped, what can be changed, is only the future, not the past.
The candlelight reflected in Lu Chang’s eyes like a sea of stars: “I’ve known her since I was nine. You wonder why she’s infatuated with a young scholar in blue, why she looks at you differently – it’s only because by coincidence, you became the embodiment of the man in her dreams…”
SLAM—
Song Qing Zhao angrily struck the table: “Lu Chang, are you suggesting you’re the man in Ming Shu’s dreams rather than me? That I’m your substitute? You’re truly outrageously arrogant! You’re just taking advantage of her soul loss and amnesia, using the guise of siblings to get close to her. What right do you have to guess her thoughts and feelings? How can you be certain you’re the one she dreams of?”
Proud as he was, he would never accept being anyone’s substitute.
“You know about that dream too? Did Ming Shu tell you? That’s just like her.” Unusually, Lu Chang didn’t argue, but instead said: “Your words make sense too – what right do I have to guess?”
With their sibling relationship, there was no guarantee Ming Shu would love him, and if she regained her memories – they had parted so decisively before – he didn’t know if Ming Shu would still be willing to turn back.
“But Song Qing Zhao, even if there were no relationship between us, you still wouldn’t be suitable for Ming Shu.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re the second grandson of the Duke’s family. Would your family allow you to marry a merchant’s daughter? Moreover, once the case is resolved, Ming Shu will return to Jiangning to inherit her ancestral business. With her personality, she will want to expand her father’s gold shop. She won’t be able to stay in the inner court as a wife and mother, nor can she become a proper noble lady.” Lu Chang spoke each word calmly and steadily.
Even if he were Ming Shu’s real brother, setting aside personal feelings, he had never thought Song Qing Zhao was a suitable match.
As the Duke’s second grandson, he enjoyed all privileges but naturally also had responsibilities to bear – the glory of his family, the continuation of the clan… His parents had high hopes for him, how could they allow him to marry a merchant’s daughter?
If Ming Shu were the Top Scholar’s sister, the Minister of Personnel’s daughter – but she was just an orphaned merchant’s daughter who had lost everything. No matter how much Madam Xu liked Ming Shu, it would remain just that – liking, nothing more.
These things had nothing to do with right or wrong, they were just the responsibilities everyone had to bear in this world.
“Do you think you could be like Xie Xi, loving a woman regardless of propriety, abandoning your clan, opposing your parents and family?” Lu Chang asked.
Though Xie Xi’s actions were contemptible, his feelings for Tang Li still contained true sincerity. Though foolish, it was pure emotion that abandoned everything. If Song Qing Zhao wanted to marry Ming Shu, though not as severe as Xie Xi’s case, it would be a bone-breaking struggle that would drag on endlessly.
“What about you?” Song Qing Zhao leaned across the desk toward Lu Chang and asked in return.
Even immortals have their tempers, let alone mortals. He was provoked to boiling anger by Lu Chang.
“You keep talking about whether I’m suitable for her, but what about you? What can you give her? Don’t forget, you’re still her brother now. Even if she learns you’re not siblings, it would be hard for her to accept you.”
Lu Chang also asked himself, what could he give Ming Shu?
He couldn’t give her the noble status of a Duke’s daughter-in-law, nor the wealthy life of the Jian family. Moreover, with future ups and downs in his official career, he might not even be able to let Ming Shu accompany him through hardships…
Lu Chang slowly stood up, also leaning on the desk edge, as if in competition, yet also like making a promise as he spoke.
“I can give her boundless freedom without territories, and a broader world; indulge her ever-playful thoughts, unbound by worldly propriety; and I promise, no matter what happens in the future – one life, one world, one pair, unchanged until death.”
Though the words seemed vague, undeniably, these were what Ming Shu needed most.
She didn’t need gold and silver, didn’t need power and status. What she needed most was freedom – freedom to walk the world like a man, and pure emotion.
Song Qing Zhao was silent for a long time.
Even if he was unwilling to admit it, he had to acknowledge that Lu Chang’s understanding of Ming Shu far surpassed his own.
But he didn’t want to concede.
Compared to Lu Chang, he only lacked the depth of ten years.
“It’s too early to say such things now. Lu Chang, I want to make a gentleman’s agreement with you,” Song Qing Zhao said.
“What agreement?”
“When the dust settles, we’ll compete fairly. Until then, you won’t overstep the boundaries of siblings.”
Song Qing Zhao’s words rang out clearly.
Lu Chang raised his palm: “Let’s seal it with a handclasp.”
With a crisp sound, their palms met.
With the agreement made, both men relaxed, but neither noticed someone standing outside the tightly closed window.
Ming Shu stared blankly at the ground, feeling as if several thunderbolts had struck her head—
Earlier, she had sensed that what Song Qingzhao and Lu Chang needed to discuss concerned her, so after escorting Madam Zeng back to her room and attending to her rest, she had quietly slipped behind Lu Chang’s study to eavesdrop on their conversation.
She hadn’t heard the entire dialogue, only catching Song Qingzhao’s final questioning and Lu Chang’s response. However, those few short sentences had already sent shockwaves through her heart.
What had she just heard?!
She and Lu Chang weren’t blood siblings?
And Lu Chang’s feelings for her… one life, one world, two people, unchanged until death?
She… she felt she couldn’t breathe.