Li Shuang discovered Jin’an’s poor alcohol tolerance three months after they left Nanchangshan.
On that occasion, they encountered bandits robbing a wedding procession. Li Shuang rescued the bride, while Jin’an pursued the bandits to their hideout, capturing three leaders and delivering them to the authorities.
Though this wasn’t particularly troublesome for Li Shuang and Jin’an, the grateful wedding party insisted on inviting them to the wedding feast as a gesture of thanks. Unable to refuse such earnest hospitality, and considering they hadn’t rested properly during their journey, Li Shuang accepted.
The wedding, hosted by two gentry families from neighboring towns, wasn’t as grand as the noble affairs Li Shuang had previously attended, but it was still a spectacular event by local standards. As the bride’s saviors, Li Shuang and Jin’an were seated at the main table.
Amidst the joyous atmosphere, Li Shuang found herself smiling. During the ceremony, the bride stumbled slightly, but the groom swiftly caught her. The guests cheered, causing the groom to blush as he completed the rituals.
Finding the scene amusing, Li Shuang finished her cup of wine. As she reached for the wine pot, someone refilled her cup. Glancing sideways, she noticed Jin’an gazing at her intently as he set down the pot and sipped from his cup.
Li Shuang surveyed the room. “It’s someone else’s wedding. Why are you staring at me?”
“Nothing else is as beautiful as you,” Jin’an replied matter-of-factly.
Growing accustomed to his casual compliments, Li Shuang asked playfully, “Am I so captivating that you’re neglecting the food and only drinking?”
“You’re a feast for all the senses,” he responded.
Momentarily at a loss for words, Li Shuang averted her gaze. “Then make me your drinking snack,” she quipped.
Neither of them anticipated the potency of the local wine. While Li Shuang paced herself, alternating between food and drink, Jin’an’s face soon flushed, his clear eyes becoming misty.
“Are you drunk?” Li Shuang asked incredulously.
Jin’an didn’t respond, but the clumsy way he set down his cup betrayed his inebriation. Li Shuang was surprised; given Jin’an’s background as a Western Rong prince and their reputation for hearty drinking, she had expected his tolerance to surpass hers.
“Shall I help you to your room?” she offered, knowing their host had prepared separate accommodations for them.
Jin’an shook his head. Though he maintained his posture, Li Shuang, familiar with his usual demeanor, could tell he was intoxicated. Concerned he might fall, she grasped his arm.
“Let me take you back,” she insisted.
Again, Jin’an refused.
“What do you want to do, then?” Li Shuang asked, exasperated.
“What do I want to do?” Jin’an murmured, suddenly grasping Li Shuang’s chin with surprising steadiness. He pulled her close, pressing his lips against hers.
The unexpected gesture caught Li Shuang off guard. Throughout their three-month journey from Nanchangshan, despite Jin’an’s flirtatious words, he had refrained from such forward actions. Since regaining his memories, he seemed to understand the need for restraint.
Li Shuang, too, had kept her distance, though she often longed for closeness during their nights under the stars.
Now, Jin’an’s boldness left Li Shuang momentarily stunned. He released her, his gaze unwavering. “I want to do that again,” he stated firmly.
Unsure whether to find him naive or brazen, Li Shuang glanced around, relieved to see the other guests preoccupied. She stood, supporting Jin’an as she led him to their assigned room.
“I want to do it again,” Jin’an repeated earnestly.
“I heard you,” Li Shuang replied, continuing toward the room. Once inside, she helped him onto the bed and removed his shoes. As she lifted his legs onto the mattress, Jin’an’s arm encircled her waist, pulling her down.
Caught off balance, Li Shuang found herself atop Jin’an, struck by the prominence of his nose bridge before her thoughts scattered. His embrace, reminiscent of their first encounter, was neither gentle nor restrained, revealing the depth of his desire.
The scent of wine on Jin’an’s body intoxicated Li Shuang. As their kiss deepened, she felt stirred. The situation began to spiral out of control. His hands unconsciously caressed her back, his lips trailing from her chin to her neck, collarbone, and the hollow of her throat…
Suddenly, he bit her, causing a sharp pain.
The slight discomfort snapped Li Shuang back to reality. She pushed Jin’an away abruptly and sat up.
Clearing her throat, she said, “You’re drunk. Get some sleep.” As she rose to leave, Jin’an firmly grasped her hand.
Li Shuang hesitated to look back, but Jin’an’s grip was unyielding, like a drowning man clinging to his last lifeline. She couldn’t help but glance over her shoulder, only to see Jin’an’s restrained yet wounded gaze.
“Do you reject being with me?” he asked.
Li Shuang massaged her temples, feeling a headache coming on.
If Jin’an had been more forceful, she could have handled it. But his vulnerable, puppy-like eyes left her defenseless. “It’s not that…” she began.
“Did I make you uncomfortable?”
“No.”
“I want to continue.”
How could he say that so matter-of-factly?
Li Shuang tried to free her hand from his grip. “We can’t. You’re drunk and can’t control yourself.”
“You’re right,” Jin’an admitted frankly. “I need all my focus to control myself, and right now, I can’t.”
His honesty left Li Shuang at a loss for words.
“At least you’re aware,” she said, trying again to pull away. “We’ll talk when you’re sober.”
“If I’m sober, I won’t dare touch you again.”
Jin’an’s use of “dare” surprised Li Shuang. Throughout their journey, she had never seen anything Jin’an wouldn’t dare to do. He was like a fearless warrior, accompanying her through fire and brimstone without complaint—an experience she had never had in her military days.
Before, she had advisors and strategists. Responsible for thousands of soldiers’ lives, she had to be cautious, always thinking thrice before acting.
But Jin’an’s martial skills surpassed hers. He didn’t need her protection. He only needed her to say where to go, and he would be her strongest armor and fiercest war chariot, accompanying her forward.
Yet now he said… he didn’t dare touch her.
“Why?” she asked.
“I’m afraid you’ll leave me.”
Such a childish reason.
He earnestly added, “I fear you’ll tire of me, or that you won’t need me anymore and will want to live freely on your own.”
“Jin’an,” Li Shuang’s heart softened as she sat on the edge of his bed. “Being with you is freedom enough. I…” She hesitated, then continued, “I haven’t planned for a future without you.”
Jin’an’s dark eyes lit up at her words. “You’ll have me for the rest of your life.”
“Yes, I will.”
Outside, the night deepened. Seeing Jin’an calmer now, Li Shuang sat on the bed, planning to soothe him to sleep before leaving. ” I don’t know you very well yet. I’ve only observed some of your preferences on our journey, and I’m not sure how accurate they are…”
“You can ask me anything.”
Li Shuang’s lips curved slightly. “Alright. I guess you like the weather after rain—warm sun and a gentle breeze.”
“I guess you enjoy the sound of bubbling springs in the mountains.”
“Correct.”
“You like watching leaves fall from treetops to the ground.”
“Correct.”
Listening to Li Shuang’s gentle voice, Jin’an seemed to grow drowsy. His eyes half-closed. Li Shuang, observing his face, felt a stirring in her heart. She leaned close to his ear and whispered, “I guess… you like me?”
Jin’an’s half-closed eyes widened at her words. Meeting her gaze, he remained silent for a long moment.
“Did I guess wrong?”
“You did,” he said. “I love you.”
Li Shuang’s heart fluttered as if a tiny dancer had begun to twirl inside, causing her to blush.
So when Jin’an leaned in to kiss her again, she offered no resistance.
“I love you, Li Shuang,” he murmured in her ear, over and over, like a devout believer reciting his most fervent prayer.
“I love you. I need you.”
These words became a spell, trapping Li Shuang, making it impossible for her to push away Jin’an’s embrace and kisses. Her mind echoed with a single thought: I love you, I need you. Yes, I do too…
In the hazy night, the wealthy landowner’s courtyard had fallen silent after the newlyweds’ chamber was finally quiet. This room, however, remained dark, as if unoccupied. The lamp had never been lit.
Only the moonlight veiled the night’s intimate moments.
As dawn broke, sunlight flooded the room.
Li Shuang opened her eyes groggily, immediately meeting another pair of exceptionally beautiful eyes. Upon eye contact, she felt Jin’an embrace her even tighter.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice husky.
“I’m afraid you’ll run away.”
After a moment of silence, Li Shuang chuckled. “It’s daybreak. We should set out.” She shifted slightly, but Jin’an didn’t loosen his hold. Resigned, she reassured him, “I won’t run. I was clear-headed last night.”
“No,” Jin’an said solemnly. “I was just thinking… I want to see you in a wedding dress.”
Li Shuang froze.
Jin’an gazed at her steadily. “Will you wear a wedding dress for me?”
“Yes.”
Li Shuang’s response was quick and decisive, surpassing any battle command she had ever given before thousands of troops.
“Shall we head back then?” Li Shuang asked. “We can’t have a wedding with just the two of us. We should find Wu Yin to be our witness.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“We’ll have to retrace our steps.”
“With you by my side, any path is fine.”
With you beside me, anywhere is home.