Li Shuang discovered that Jin’an’s alcohol tolerance wasn’t actually very good three months after they left Nanchangshan.
On that occasion, Li Shuang and Jin’an encountered bandits who had robbed a wedding procession. Li Shuang rescued the bride while Jin’an chased the bandits directly to their hideout, capturing their three leaders and delivering them to the local authorities.
For Li Shuang and Jin’an, this wasn’t particularly troublesome, but the wedding party was moved to tears with gratitude, and insisted on inviting them to attend the wedding feast as thanks.
Unable to refuse such sincere hospitality, and thinking they hadn’t properly rested during their journey, Li Shuang accepted.
The wedding was between two gentry families from different towns. While the occasion wasn’t as grand as the noble ceremonies Li Shuang had witnessed before, it was still quite a spectacle for the local area. As the bride’s saviors, Li Shuang and Jin’an were seated at the main table.
Amid the joyous atmosphere, Li Shuang couldn’t help but smile. When the groom led the bride in for the ceremonial bows, she stumbled slightly. The groom quickly caught her, leading to good-natured teasing from the crowd. The groom’s face turned crimson as he completed the ceremony.
Li Shuang found it amusing and finished a cup of wine. As she reached for the wine pitcher, someone filled her cup for her.
Glancing to the side, she saw Jin’an watching her with serene eyes. After setting down the pitcher, he took a sip from his cup. Li Shuang scanned the surroundings and asked, “It’s someone else’s wedding day. Why are you staring at me like that?”
“Nothing else is as beautiful as you.”
Coming from anyone else, such forward words might have seemed inappropriate, but from him, they sounded perfectly natural and sincere. Li Shuang had grown accustomed to his casual compliments, and emboldened by the festive atmosphere and wine, she asked, “So beautiful that you’re only drinking and not eating?”
“You already provide all the color, fragrance, and flavor I need.”
Li Shuang found herself momentarily speechless at the compliment. She looked away and said, “Then just use me as your drinking snack.”
What neither Li Shuang nor Jin’an expected was that the wine brewed by this small-town gentry family packed quite a punch.
Li Shuang could hold her liquor well enough, eating while she drank and knowing when to stop once she felt the effects. But when she turned to look at Jin’an, his face was slightly flushed, and his clear eyes had become misty and unfocused.
Li Shuang watched him for a moment before asking incredulously, “Are you drunk?”
Jin’an didn’t respond, only setting his cup down on the table. The sound of the cup meeting table revealed his difficulty in controlling his movements.
Li Shuang was certain now—he was drunk.
This left her bewildered. In her mind, since Jin’an was a prince of Xi Rong, given their people’s fierce nature and drinking traditions, his alcohol tolerance should have been at least better than hers. How had he gotten drunk so easily?
“Should I help you back to rest?”
The host had prepared two rooms for them, knowing they were travelers.
Jin’an shook his head at her suggestion. He still sat perfectly straight, and anyone who didn’t know him as well as Li Shuang did would hardly notice he was drunk. Afraid he might fall, she reached out to support his arm. She had never seen him drunk before and didn’t know how he would behave—what if he suddenly collapsed while trying to maintain his composure?
Having spent so much time in military camps, she had seen more than enough of how men behaved when drunk.
“Let me help you back.”
Jin’an shook his head again.
Li Shuang sighed, “Then what do you want to do?”
“What do I want to do?” Jin’an murmured, repeating her words. Suddenly, he reached up and caught her chin. His hand, which had trembled while holding the wine cup moments ago, now precisely controlled Li Shuang’s head as he brought her lips to his.
He captured her lips with his own.
Li Shuang was completely stunned by this sudden assault.
In the three months since leaving Nanchangshan, although she had been with Jin’an constantly, they had never done anything inappropriate, despite Jin’an’s frequent…
Perhaps for Jin’an, those weren’t even considered flirtations—he was simply expressing his thoughts in the most straightforward way possible.
But it had remained at just that.
Jin’an hadn’t been like he was in Saibei, where he would embrace or kiss her at every opportunity.
After recovering his memories, it seemed he better understood that such actions might seem rash to Li Shuang, so he had been restraining himself to avoid making her uncomfortable.
And Li Shuang never took the initiative to hold Jin’an’s hand, much less rush forward to kiss him.
Although on the road, especially during quiet nights camping outdoors, Jin’an would sit in trees to give Li Shuang more privacy. Several times, watching his silhouette from below, she had wanted to ask him to come down or climb up herself to sit beside him.
Because that way, his silhouette wouldn’t look so lonely.
The Jade Silkworm Gu enjoyed contact with its master—Wu Yin had told Li Shuang this, and she knew Jin’an liked being close to her. But that thin paper window between them remained intact—he hadn’t broken through it, so she hadn’t either.
This situation has continued until today.
So when Jin’an now kissed her so forcefully, dominantly, and unreasonably, Li Shuang felt somewhat at a loss for how to react.
Fortunately, Jin’an didn’t make any further moves, only releasing her and looking at her with his usual focused gaze before declaring matter-of-factly, “I want to do it again.”
Li Shuang didn’t know whether to call him innocent or shameless…
She glanced around, but thankfully the other wedding guests were also quite drunk by now, gathered in small groups chatting with familiar faces or being helped away. No one had noticed her and Jin’an.
She stopped responding to him and stood up, supporting one of his arms as she led him toward the room their host had prepared.
Jin’an leaned half his body against Li Shuang’s shoulder and repeated seriously, “I want to do it again.”
“I know.” But she didn’t stop. She continued supporting him back to the room, dropped him onto the bed, and helped remove his shoes. Just as she lifted his legs onto the bed and started to straighten up, she felt a hand wrap around her waist and pull her down.
Caught off guard, she fell onto Jin’an.
His nose bridge was very straight—this was the only thought Li Shuang had time to form as their faces nearly touched. Then he stole her next moment of consciousness.
Like when they first met, he wasn’t particularly gentle, but precisely because of this, his possessiveness of her was expressed so thoroughly.
The wine’s fragrance on Jin’an now intoxicated Li Shuang as well. His kisses stirred her emotions, and the situation began to spiral out of control. His hands instinctively caressed her back as his lips traced from her chin to her neck, collarbone…
Then he bit her, causing pain.
The slight pain snapped Li Shuang back to her senses.
She pushed Jin’an away forcefully and sat up.
She coughed lightly. “You’re drunk. Get some good sleep.” She tried to stand, but Jin’an grabbed her hand firmly.
Li Shuang didn’t want to look back, but Jin’an held her so tightly, like a drowning person clutching their last piece of driftwood. She couldn’t help but glance back and see the hurt in Jin’an’s restrained gaze.
“Do you reject being with me?” he asked.
Li Shuang massaged her temples, feeling a headache coming on.
If Jin’an had been even slightly more domineering, she would have known how to handle it. But against those weak, pitiful puppy-dog eyes, she was completely defenseless. “No…”
“Did I make you uncomfortable?”
“No.”
“I want to continue.”
How could he say such things so matter-of-factly?
Li Shuang tried to pull her hand from his tight grip. “No, you’re drunk. You can’t control yourself right now.”
“Correct,” Jin’an admitted directly. “I need complete focus to control myself, and right now I can’t.”
He spoke so frankly that Li Shuang had nothing left to say.
“Good that you know.” Li Shuang tried to pull away again. “We’ll talk when you’re sober.”
“When I’m sober, I won’t dare touch you anymore.”
Jin’an’s use of the word “dare” surprised Li Shuang, as, throughout their journey, she hadn’t found anything that Jin’an didn’t dare to do. He was like a fearless warrior—wherever she wanted to go, be it mountains of blades or seas of fire, he would accompany her without a word. This was an experience she had never had in her military days.
Because before, she had military advisors and strategists. She was responsible for tens of thousands of soldiers’ lives, so she had to be cautious and think things through thoroughly before acting.
But Jin’an’s martial arts were better than hers. He didn’t need her protection—he only needed her to say where she wanted to go, and then he would become her strongest armor and most fierce war chariot, accompanying her forward.
Yet now he said… he didn’t dare touch her.
“Why?”
“I’m afraid you’ll reject me.”
Such a childish reason.
He seriously added two more sentences: “Afraid you’ll tire of me, and afraid you won’t need me, that you’ll want to live freely on your own.”
“Jin’an,” Li Shuang’s heart softened slightly as she sat on the edge of his bed, “Being with you is already free enough. I…” She paused, seemingly finding it difficult to continue, but finally gritted her teeth and said directly: “I haven’t planned for a future without you.”
Jin’an’s originally pitch-black pupils seemed to light up at Li Shuang’s words: “Your future will always have me.”
“Yes, it will have you.”
Outside, night had fallen deeply. Seeing that Jin’an was no longer as impulsive as before, Li Shuang sat on the edge of the bed, planning to leave after he fell asleep. “But right now… I don’t know you very well, I’ve only observed some of your preferences along our journey, and I’m not sure if I’m even correct…”
“You can ask me.”
Li Shuang’s lips curved slightly: “Alright, I guess you like the weather after rain, when there’s warm sunshine and a gentle breeze.”
“I guess you like the sound of mountain springs flowing.”
“Correct.”
“You like watching leaves fall from tree branches to the ground.”
“Correct.”
Listening to Li Shuang’s gentle voice, Jin’an seemed to become somewhat sleepy, his eyes half-closed. Looking at his features, Li Shuang felt a slight stirring in her heart and whispered in his ear: “I guess you like me?”
Jin’an’s half-closed eyes slowly opened wide at these words. After meeting Li Shuang’s gaze, he remained silent for a long time.
“Did I guess wrong?”
“Wrong,” he said. “I love you.”
Li Shuang’s heart suddenly trembled, as if a little person was dancing on it, the dance steps making her blush.
So when Jin’an leaned in to kiss her again, she didn’t resist at all.
“I love you, Li Shuang.” He whispered in her ear, again and again, like a devout believer reciting their most faithful scripture.
“I love you, I need you.”
And these words were like a spell, trapping Li Shuang, making it impossible for her to push away Jin’an’s embrace and kisses. In her mind, only one phrase kept echoing: I love you, I need you. Yes, me too…
The night was hazy. In the gentry’s compound, after the newlyweds’ chamber had quieted down and complete silence fell, this room seemed empty, the lamp never lit from start to finish.
Only moonlight concealed the night’s romantic scenes.
The night passed, and the next morning sunlight filled the room.
Li Shuang opened her eyes drowsily, and looking up, met another pair of exceptionally beautiful eyes. After their eyes met, Li Shuang felt Jin’an hold her even tighter.
“What’s wrong?” she asked hoarsely.
“Afraid you’ll run away.”
After a moment of silence, Li Shuang laughed softly: “It’s dawn, we should set out.” She moved slightly, but Jin’an still held her without letting go. She had no choice but to comfort him: “I won’t run. I was completely clear-headed yesterday.”
“No.” Jin’an said in a deep voice, “I was just thinking, I want to see you in a wedding dress.”
Li Shuang froze.
Jin’an gazed at her steadily: “Would you wear a wedding dress for me?”
“Yes.”
Li Shuang’s response was quick and decisive, more so than any of her past military commands before thousands of troops.
“Then shall we head back?” Li Shuang asked, “We can’t have a wedding with just two people. Let’s go back and have Wu Yin as a witness.”
“Mm.”
“Then we’ll have to backtrack.”
“With you by my side, any path is fine.”
With you beside me, anywhere is possible.