◎Shanjun, what—what is your relationship with Duan Boyan?◎

People truly shouldn’t cry a first time. Once there’s a first, there’s a second, and now this was the third time.

In her previous life after arriving in Luoyang, even adding them all up, she had only cried this many times.

People also shouldn’t allow themselves to feel wronged.

Lan Shanjun, in her most agonizing moments before, had never imagined she would have such a day of wailing uncontrollably.

What caused it? She couldn’t quite explain the reason—she only felt that a lifetime’s worth of grievances wanted to pour out in this moment.

Those pains she couldn’t normally share with outsiders, under sentence after sentence of comfort, transformed into a desire to confide, yet unable to confide, they flowed from her eyes, impossible to stop no matter what.

Fortunately, crying still had its benefits. She cried herself into exhaustion, so before noon, she fell asleep pillowing on Nanny Qian’s arm.

Nanny Qian stayed with her the whole time, not daring to move at all, only repeatedly making eyes at Yu Qingwu to leave—even though they were betrothed, he shouldn’t be keeping watch at a young lady’s bedside like this.

Unfortunately, Yu Qingwu couldn’t read facial expressions. He sat on the bed platform staring at Lan Shanjun’s face in a daze.

What could Nanny Qian do? She scolded in a low voice: “Still looking? Why don’t you also extend your hand for her to pillow on?”

Yu Qingwu, as if not fully returned to his senses, nodded dazedly: “All right.”

Nanny Qian: “…”

She rolled her eyes and asked: “Blockhead, what are you thinking about so intently?”

Yu Qingwu made an effort to focus and said softly: “Shanjun—it’s as if she has countless threads of sorrow. Looking at her, she resembles the puppet shows I watched as a child. These threads of sorrow are tied to her limbs, controlling her hands and feet on the stage, making her extend her wrists and lift her feet, sing and perform—everything has a purpose, yet she’s lost the freedom to act as she pleases.”

Living like this should have had no pleasure.

But her strength lay precisely here. He stared at her face: “Yet even so, she’s still struggling on her own, holding onto one breath, wanting to find life in a desperate situation.”

She was like someone struggling to break free from a puppet stage. She had already extended one hand out.

He was always attracted to her like this, unable to look away for even a moment. He too had extended one of his hands.

But he didn’t dare grasp her hand and bring her out.

Perhaps because he inherently disliked examining things closely, perhaps also because he didn’t dare examine closely.

Yu Qingwu murmured: “But now I don’t dare not think about it.”

He feared he would regret it. Just as he regretted not pressing his elder brother with one more question. What if, because of this step back he took, something happened to Shanjun in the future?

When a person overthinks, fear grows in the heart.

He shook his head: “Nanny Qian, I need to think carefully.”

Think about why she’s like this, think about her strange backward glance when they first met, think about whether every sentence she spoke had some deeper meaning.

Perhaps, once he figured it out, he would understand why she became a silhouette and how she must struggle. Then he could grasp her hand and dare to say: “Shanjun, I’ll bring you out.”

Hearing this, Nanny Qian sighed: “Then think carefully.”

One hand was being held by Shanjun in her sleep. With her other hand, she gently took a handkerchief to fan her, saying with heartache: “Poor thing—such a small heart, only the size of a date, yet hiding so many matters within?”

Yu Qingwu looked deeply at Lan Shanjun once more, stood up and said: “I’ll go check on Old Madam again.”

Nanny Qian nodded: “Yes, you go. I haven’t had time to attend to that side.”

Old Madam Shou had already awakened. With Lan Shanjun crying like that, she couldn’t possibly not have heard. But she lay in bed and hadn’t gotten up.

She didn’t dare call herself over. For the elderly, once their emotions were stirred, it became difficult to calm them down.

Her health had been increasingly poor recently. Previously she was holding onto one breath, not knowing what she was waiting for. Last year when news of Su Xingzhou’s death arrived, she coughed up blood and found it even harder to recover.

Originally she was holding onto this breath to wait for Lin Ji’s death. She had thought she’d have to wait three to five years, or even longer. She thought she wouldn’t see it in her lifetime. But karmic retribution came so quickly. In her joy, this breath instead leaked out.

She smiled and told Yu Qingwu: “Don’t worry. Some matters, like crying them out today, are for the best. Shanjun is a resilient child—she won’t make mistakes.”

Yu Qingwu nodded silently.

But Old Madam Shou was still worried about his matter with Wu Qingchuan: “When you see him again in the future, will it truly be a fight to the death?”

Yu Qingwu couldn’t bear to nod in her presence.

But how could Old Madam Shou not understand? She immediately grew sorrowful, couldn’t help coughing a few times: “I can’t control you all… Each person has their own karma. I’ve lived this lifetime, lived long enough, yet still haven’t lived with clarity. How can I demand that you live with clarity?”

Yu Qingwu brought her medicine, consoling: “You should recuperate well. I still need to rely on your protection.”

Old Madam Shou took the medicine and cradled it in her hands, lowering her eyes: “If I’m alive, with you living in this residence, I can certainly protect you. If I’m no longer alive, you should still live in this residence… His Majesty will at least give me some face.”

Yu Qingwu suddenly choked up: “Please live longer.”

He had always lacked elders. Finally having someone who cared for him, yet she too was about to pass away.

Old Madam Shou then said: “Between you and Shanjun, speaking from my conscience, I’m still more partial to you. Initially when Shanjun wanted to marry you, I was overjoyed. Even knowing that wasn’t right of her, in the end I couldn’t say many words to advise her. I just thought that after my death, you would at least have someone who understood your heart to talk with—”

She patted Yu Qingwu’s hand: “If my death still has some value, then use it. Don’t be foolish. If you don’t use it, Wu Qingchuan will.”

But Yu Qingwu shook his head: “Then what difference would there be between him and me?”

A gentleman has things he will and won’t do. He could involve himself in those shadowy matters, but couldn’t make an article out of Old Madam’s death.

He said: “What article could be made from your death? Make His Majesty feel guilty? Tarnish Vice Minister Wu’s virtue? Make my reputation better?”

He needed none of these things.

“If Vice Minister Wu wants to do these things, I also won’t agree.”

Old Madam Shou then sighed gently: “Qingwu—”

Yu Qingwu nodded: “Please speak.”

But Old Madam Shou couldn’t voice the words.

She shook her head and gripped his hand tightly: “Be good to Nanny Qian.”

Yu Qingwu’s eyes reddened: “I know.”

After saying all this, Old Madam Shou fell asleep again. She was truly afraid she would fall asleep and never wake.

Yu Qingwu heavily exhaled, slowly walked to sit in the corridor. The sun slowly set, bamboo shadows appeared on the red walls, dusk approached, then night fell.

He went to fetch a lamp.

He remembered Nanny Zhao saying: “Whenever our young lady sleeps, she must have a lamp lit.”

Was she afraid of the dark?

Afraid of the dark…

When Lan Shanjun woke, everything outside was silent, except for Nanny Qian sleeping sweetly beside her, softly snoring.

She was stunned, then recalled her loss of composure during the day.

She stood up and tiptoed out in the darkness, but saw one place suffused with light in the darkness.

She looked closely and saw Yu Qingwu sitting in the corridor by the door, his wide sleeves concealing a round lantern. Seeing her emerge, he looked at her. He didn’t ask anything else but suddenly opened his mouth to ask: “Shanjun—who do you want me to help you kill?”

For a moment, Lan Shanjun had the illusion she was still dreaming.

But he immediately continued with another question: “Is it someone in Luoyang?”

Lan Shanjun’s heart contracted tightly. Her face paled: “I can’t tell you now.”

Yu Qingwu then nodded again: “All right, I agree.”

He said: “You don’t need to do anything for me—I’ve already agreed.”

Lan Shanjun was stunned for an instant, moved in her heart, and sat cross-legged beside him.

The night wind blew gently, stirring both their sleeves and hair.

Yu Qingwu was silent for a while, then finally said: “Shanjun, what—what is your relationship with Duan Boyan?”

Lan Shanjun knew that her crying that time ultimately couldn’t be hidden from him.

She sighed gently, turned to look at him, and finally spoke these words: “I’ve been afraid all along—afraid that Young Master Su discovered something, which is why he went to see the old monk’s memorial tablet.”

She said: “My teacher, Duan Boyan—I feared he was related to Young Master Su’s matter.”

Yu Qingwu’s eyes slowly widened, then softened again. He said with certainty: “There’s no relation. Elder Brother didn’t die because he learned your teacher’s identity.”

So, there were too many matters weighing on her heart—this must be one of them. With such matters pressing on her heart, constantly feeling guilty, how could she feel well?

He didn’t ask why Duan Boyan was her teacher, didn’t ask what her past was like. He only finally understood some of her words.

For instance, when she told him their paths were the same.

For instance, when she told him: ten years of life and death, willing to share them with you.

So that was it.

So between them, there was a shared teacher. She must be willing to use ten years of life and death to witness the path Duan Boyan once walked.

He said gently: “Shanjun, you can tell me. Regarding General Duan’s matters, I can listen—I also have the qualification to listen.”

Lan Shanjun’s brows and eyes relaxed somewhat: “I know you have the qualification. But before I knew you well, I didn’t dare.”

She dared marry him but didn’t dare mention this matter. Human hearts were unfathomable—who would willingly entrust their true heart?

Yu Qingwu couldn’t help pressing with a question: “Why do you dare now?”

But Lan Shanjun glanced at him and leaned against the wall: “Perhaps because I trust you now.”

She tilted her head: “Yu Qingwu, can I trust you?”

Yu Qingwu smiled, placed the lantern in her embrace, and said gently: “Please trust me.”

Just four words, yet they made Lan Shanjun smile as well. She murmured: “Today was truly cathartic.”

After crying her fill, her state of mind seemed to have opened up somewhat. Even the path ahead seemed easier to walk.

But though he didn’t ask, some words she needed to say. She said: “My past, actually, isn’t so different from what I’ve told you. Before coming to Luoyang, I didn’t know his identity. I suspect that when he came to Shu Prefecture, passing through Huailing, he happened to encounter me, and there happened to be a wild temple—everything just fell naturally into place.”

“You already know what happened after. I encountered you and Young Master Su at White Horse Temple. He recognized me, but I truly hadn’t recognized him.”

“From that moment, I had my suspicions. Then from the books about Duan Boyan you gave me, I saw his handwriting—then I confirmed it was him.”

She said: “But knowing his background, I had to be on guard. After all, he’s a dead man. Between him and Prince Qi—”

She looked steadily at him: “It’s a fight to the death.”

Yu Qingwu: “Between Prince Qi and me, it’s also a fight to the death.”

As these words left his mouth, his heart felt somewhat bitter again.

So this was why she wanted to marry him.

She had finally spoken one truth.

But she was still a liar.

He knew—she was still hiding many things from him.

With her nature, Duan Boyan’s matter alone wouldn’t make her like this.

But he could only figure out Duan Boyan’s part, couldn’t figure out the rest. He could only say: “Shanjun, if you trust me, tell me more in the future.”

Lan Shanjun hesitated for a moment, then nodded: “I promise you.”

Having someone to share the burden with was much better after all.

But having someone share like this, she felt very uneasy in her heart.

The next day, accompanying Old Madam Shou in airing books, she kept glancing hesitantly toward the outside.

Nanny Qian whispered to Old Madam Shou: “Oh my, yesterday when I got up, I discovered the young couple sitting in the corridor talking heart-to-heart. They matched so well, I just went back to pretend to sleep.”

She slept until her bones were stiff and the two still hadn’t finished talking.

She said: “After talking yesterday, today she misses him? I see she’s waiting for Qingwu to return.”

Old Madam Shou lazily yawned: “So clever, aren’t you?”

Nanny Qian: “Of course.”

She thought for a moment: “Shanjun is still too bottled up. Should I take her out for a walk?”

Old Madam Shou: “Then take a walk. You haven’t gone out in a long time either.”

Nanny Qian acknowledged with a sound: “Then I’ll coax her into it.”

But Lan Shanjun was somewhat hesitant: “I don’t really have anything to buy.”

Nanny Qian: “For a young lady, jewelry and clothes—how could there ever be too many? Come on, come on. I want to buy some things too.”

Lan Shanjun could only nod.

Nanny Qian excitedly pulled her out, had people prepare silver, and asked Old Madam Shou: “What would you like?”

Old Madam Shou: “If Shifu Ji has chestnut cakes, buy some and bring them back?”

Nanny Qian: “All right!”

She pulled Lan Shanjun out the door: “Old Madam is paying for everything!”

——

Wu Qingchuan’s matter was ultimately smoothed over.

Marquis Boyuan was sentenced to death. Wu Qingchuan was released from prison.

On the day he was released, quite a few students went to receive him.

As a literary grandmaster and leader of the Luoyang faction, these students were quite indignant that he had been falsely accused by the Shu faction. Surprisingly, no one carefully examined whether Marquis Boyuan’s evidence was true or false—they only knew the court said he was falsely accused, so he was falsely accused.

Such a person being falsely accused was like setting a fire in their hearts. Even though the instructors at the Imperial Academy had warned them not to act impulsively, at the entrance to the Court of Judicial Review, some still threw ink.

Literati—even what they threw was refined.

Wu Qingchuan’s disciple in Luoyang, Wang Kui, supported him as he exited, crying: “Teacher has conducted himself honorably and righteously his entire life. Who would have imagined he would be treated like this in the end?”

Wu Qingchuan smiled: “When others slander and defame me, I just close my door and sleep. As long as innocence remains, what is there to fear?”

His gaze swept outside but didn’t see Yu Qingwu’s figure. He finally sighed, then told Wang Kui: “So many of you came today—this is already improper. You should return quickly.”

Wang Kui: “They all respect Teacher and know Teacher has been wronged.”

Hearing this sentence, Wu Qingchuan couldn’t speak for a long time.

——Over ten years ago, when he went to Shu Prefecture, if this many people had seen him off, he wouldn’t have become so disheartened.

Speaking of these things now, among those in Luoyang who knew the truth, he was merely adding to the mockery.

But this path was one he chose himself. Even if wrong, he still had to walk it to the end. Otherwise, what did his life amount to?

He no longer knew what his life amounted to.

He stumbled forward a few steps and saw Prince Qi’s carriage waiting for him to the side.

Under everyone’s watchful eyes, Prince Qi, bringing Prince Qi’s heir, came over to him, all smiles before the students.

——Extremely ironic.

Wu Qingchuan felt his face was being flayed. But over a decade had passed. The people from back then had been replaced with a new batch, the students had long since changed—no one saw his awkwardness, no one saw the bitterness within his smiling expression.

Prince Qi supported him, calling out: “Vice Minister Wu, you’ve worked hard.”

But Wu Qingchuan didn’t dare respond.

He quickly said: “I’ve troubled Your Highness.”

Prince Qi’s smile was ambiguous.

One Marquis Boyuan dead, preserving one Wu Qingchuan who wasn’t truly loyal to him—of course he had to expend effort.

Otherwise everyone would think he was losing power.

Prince Qi had indeed been having a rather difficult time recently. But he didn’t feel he had reached a dead end. Sometimes when arms grew too long and offended Father Emperor, having them cut off was actually good.

He just felt Marquis Boyuan’s death was somewhat worthless.

It should have had greater value.

After all, he was his uncle.

Dissatisfied for a moment, he felt this affair was the consequence of his own arrogance. Now that he’d been played by that hairless rabbit Imperial Grandson, naturally he needed to be more vigilant.

He didn’t retaliate against the Imperial Grandson—that would make the Emperor even more disgusted with him. He only obediently listened, playing the role of puppet prince in this matter.

He told his son: “Between you and the Crown Prince, sooner or later you’ll die by his hand. Abai, the Imperial Grandson is more capable than you, and his methods are more ruthless.”

Prince Qi’s heir had been perpetually unhappy. No matter how naive his thoughts, after this affair he couldn’t possibly still say their relationship remained as before.

But in his heart was a refusal to accept it.

Why must it come to this?

He waited on the Imperial Grandson’s inevitable path, surprising the Imperial Grandson. He walked over: “Abai, you’re looking for me?”

Prince Qi’s heir stared at him intently. “Big Brother—in the future, will you kill me?”

The Imperial Grandson shook his head: “Why would I kill you?”

He smiled: “If you must think like that, consider us cousins competing for shops. No matter which side loses, it’s just losing some shops—why all this talk of fighting and killing?”

But Prince Qi’s heir shook his head: “Does Big Brother see Aji as just a shop? Does Marquis Boyuan’s life also count as just a shop in your eyes?”

“Then in the future, in Big Brother’s eyes, will I also be just like a shop?”

The Imperial Grandson fell silent.

Some words, in the imperial family, couldn’t be stated plainly. He couldn’t understand Abai’s current questioning and didn’t want to get too entangled with him over these semantics.

He suddenly pointed to Yu Qingwu walking toward them: “His siblings all died at Aji’s hands. Does that count as Aji’s shop?”

Prince Qi’s heir opened his mouth: “That’s different…”

What was different?

Nothing was different.

Back then, His Majesty killed the entire Duan family. Imperial Grandmother stayed in Changle Palace for over a decade without emerging. Now, His Majesty killed the entire Marquis Boyuan household. Noble Consort Lin cried daily until fainting, kneeling at the Imperial Study door begging for mercy.

None of this was any different.

The Imperial Grandson said gently: “Abai, don’t interrogate me so. You should know that standing in this position, Prince Qi won’t spare me.”

Prince Qi’s heir fell completely silent.

Of course he knew.

He turned and left.

The Imperial Grandson sighed deeply.

Sometimes, why must such questions be asked?

He slowly returned to the Eastern Palace. Yu Qingwu came toward him: “Your Highness.”

The Imperial Grandson acknowledged with a sound.

Yu Qingwu smiled: “Your Highness—do you remember my betrothed?”

The Imperial Grandson, in a poor mood, acknowledged with another sound.

Yu Qingwu: “Didn’t Her Majesty the Empress bestow gifts upon her? She wishes to enter the palace to express gratitude, but knowing Her Majesty is resting quietly and not daring to disturb her, she wishes to express her thanks to the Crown Princess.”

The Imperial Grandson was about to refuse. He didn’t want Yuanniang to meet Lan Shanjun.

But the words reached his lips yet couldn’t be spoken. In his heart, he still wanted to let Yuanniang see Shanjun once.

Even without knowing each other, seeing once would be good.

He hesitated for a moment, then finally nodded: “All right.”

Yu Qingwu smiled: “Thank you, Crown Prince.”

Shanjun’s request was handled again.

So indeed, Shanjun should have told him about this matter long ago. With husband and wife united in heart, their strength could cut through metal—what couldn’t they accomplish?

He hurried out the palace gates, preparing to return and tell Shanjun about this.

But just as he was about to reach the Shou residence, he encountered several Imperial Academy students.

He recognized the leader, Wang Kui.

Last year when he had just returned to Luoyang, Wu Qingchuan had introduced Wang Kui to him, saying: “This person is passionate by nature, loves to fight injustice, possesses chivalrous spirit, and has quite a reputation in Luoyang.”

But Wang Kui had been very envious of him, saying: “Teacher Wu inquires after our well-being, whether regarding studies or food, clothing, and lodging, nothing is neglected. But only when he sent three letters a day urging you to return to Luoyang, sending letters to the postal station, did we realize what it means to be a personally taught disciple.”

Yu Qingwu had once felt proud over these words: “Teacher and I are as close as father and son. Teacher loves me—I know this in my heart.”

But now, when he encountered Wang Kui and the others again, these words became ironic.

He knew what they had come to do. Nothing more than to interrogate him.

He didn’t need to listen to know what they would say.

“Ungrateful, wolf-hearted and dog-lunged, falsely accusing Teacher, forming cliques for personal gain—”

He thought: if they said these things, he didn’t dare acknowledge them. This was right in front of the Shou residence—admitting guilt would be looking down on his own integrity.

He walked over, pursing his lips and raising his head, about to say a few words, when he saw someone emerge from the side at some unknown moment, carrying a bucket of ink that was poured over him.

He used his sleeves to block but still couldn’t block it completely, so his entire body became an ink-soaked person.

Yu Qingwu lightly exhaled. He turned, just about to remove his outer robe and smear it on those around him, when he saw Nanny Qian and Shanjun standing not far away watching him.

They seemed to have just bought things and returned home. Before stepping through the door, they saw this bedraggled state of his.

Yu Qingwu stood frozen in place. For a moment, he didn’t know how to react.

He only felt somewhat ashamed, deeply feeling that this appearance truly shouldn’t be seen by Nanny Qian and Shanjun.

He lowered his head, wanting to find some clean corner of his clothing to wipe the ink from his face, but couldn’t find a single clean spot.

He immediately became flustered, standing there motionless for a long time.

——This outfit of his would be very difficult to clean.

He feared implicating them.