◎”—You see, you allowed him to live twelve more years.”◎

Just as Lan Shanjun never knew that Yu Qingwu had been someone who loved to cry when he was young, she also never imagined that Nanny Qian in her youth had received a promise from the Emperor.

Now, Nanny Qian had used this promise on Wang Kui and the others.

Lan Shanjun couldn’t help but feel it was regrettable: “How unworthy.”

Today Nanny Qian wore a new set of clothes. She first steamed both the eggplant and green beans until cooked, then took a spatula and pressed, pressed, pressed them in the iron wok, mashing them all together into a mass, before generously scattering a large handful of chili peppers in to add flavor. “Worthy of what? What would be worthy? Should I have used this one promise to exchange for some official position? What kind of person of status am I to be able to vent my anger like this? As long as my heart feels satisfied, that’s good enough.”

Lan Shanjun sat there tending the stove. After adding more firewood, she propped her face up and watched Nanny Qian, saying with a smile, “Listening to your words is better than reading ten years of books.”

Nanny Qian replied, “I understand that saying—you’re praising me.”

The smile never left Lan Shanjun’s lips. That evening when Yu Qingwu returned, she said, “Tomorrow I must first return to Duke Zhenguo’s residence, then the day after enter the palace to see the Grand Imperial Grandson Consort.”

Yu Qingwu acknowledged, “The day after tomorrow I’ll escort you into the palace first, but I should leave the palace before you. When the time comes, I’ll wait for you at the palace gate.”

Lan Shanjun said, “If you have matters to attend to, you need not escort me or wait for me.”

Yu Qingwu replied, “I have no other matters.”

After Marquis Boyuan was sentenced to death, the matter that had been hanging over his heart was finally resolved. He wasn’t rushing to do what came next, saying, “My reputation was too prominent before—I’m taking the opportunity to lie low. These past few days I’ve been at Minister Su’s place learning how to castrate horses, with no other business.”

Lan Shanjun then asked, “Nanny Qian forced his prized disciple to jump into a manure pit—Wu Qingchuan didn’t come looking for you?”

Yu Qingwu replied, “No.”

He paused, then said with a smile, “This time when the Shu faction attacked him, Prince Qi abandoned Marquis Boyuan and stood on the side of righteousness to save him. The two now have a reason for association. Many things have fallen into place naturally—they’re over there happily cooperating with each other. I’ve become secondary.”

Actually, thinking carefully about it, in this chess game, the Emperor was the only one truly playing. Master and disciple attacking each other, Prince Qi cutting off his own arm, Shu and Luo factions competing—every situation he wanted to achieve had been accomplished.

His Majesty was truly a formidable person. Having walked through one round as a piece on his chessboard, Yu Qingwu felt his heart tremble with fear whenever he recalled it.

Speaking of this, he changed the subject and asked, “Shanjun, do the Grand Imperial Grandson and his wife know your identity?”

Lan Shanjun paused, then said, “I’m not entirely certain. But the Grand Imperial Grandson may have figured it out.”

Yu Qingwu thought to himself that Shanjun’s claws were truly extending out bit by bit, gradually revealing themselves to him.

If he didn’t ask, she probably wouldn’t have mentioned this matter.

This person of hers both trusted him, treated him wholeheartedly with genuine sincerity, and was even willing to entrust him with the secrets at her back and her ten-year journey, yet at the same time remained quite vigilant, never willing to let down that layer of protective guard in her heart.

—Even though the two of them shared such a profound connection.

But when he asked, she would still tell him. It seemed that in her heart he had gained a special position, creating an opening.

That was enough.

He then said slowly and gently, “These past few days I’ve been thinking that behind the Song family’s marriage proposal, it’s possible the Grand Imperial Grandson was making his move. But I can’t be certain. However, looking at how he conducts himself, he definitely isn’t willing to openly acknowledge you, so the Grand Imperial Grandson Consort most likely doesn’t know.”

Lan Shanjun said with a smile, “You’re thinking the same as me.”

Yu Qingwu continued, “Since that’s the case, you shouldn’t expose yourself either. Your situation still cannot be known by others.”

He was actually quite worried, “Especially it cannot be known by Prince Qi. Prince Qi is a person with ruthless methods. Compared to hating me, he should hate General Duan even more.”

He explained, “I’m just a chess piece in His Majesty’s hand. He still looks down on me and can’t yet be said to hate me—he’s just waiting for me to lose my usefulness before being killed. But you’re different. Back then his hatred for General Duan was known throughout the entire court.”

Lan Shanjun fell silent. After a good while she nodded, “Yu Qingwu, tell me—can we kill Prince Qi?”

This question made Yu Qingwu’s heart clench together tightly, “We can.”

He felt that perhaps he might have glimpsed a little of the source of Shanjun’s sorrow. He promised, “Shanjun, you will live.”

“Both you and I must survive.”

After saying this, he once again felt that his life and Shanjun’s were bound together.

Before, his heart held hatred toward this dynasty, but the hatred was too great—in the end he didn’t even know whom he should hate. His heart also held the common people of the world, but the world was too vast—he didn’t know whom to love either.

When a person’s hatred is too great and their love is too great, confusion is inevitable. Now it was better—he had Shanjun, so he knew to love Shanjun.

Shanjun hated Prince Qi, so he would hate Prince Qi as well.

When this hatred and love descended from the dynasty and the world to become two specific people, he actually felt much more at peace.

Lan Shanjun’s expression showed she was moved. These words were also what she had once said to him.

The two of them had depended on each other for ten months, and finally tonight they spoke openly, walking completely on the same path together.

Lan Shanjun let out a breath and said that phrase again, “This is truly satisfying.”

That melancholy energy of hers—expelling a bit at a time like she had been doing recently—she didn’t know if she could eventually expel it all clean.

Her spirit felt relaxed, so her steps paused, and she asked another question that had been puzzling her.

“After you learned of my relationship with Duan Boyan, why didn’t you ask me about that past?”

She said, “People all have curiosity—you should have it too.”

Yu Qingwu then said with a smile, “That General Duan could go to Huailing back then suggests His Majesty let him go. That General Duan could reach Huailing and choose to raise you suggests he also let himself go.”

“Shanjun, your master was called Kong Ming. Coming empty, going empty, without name or surname, without ties or attachments—that was not Duan Boyan.”

“And I… was deeply influenced by General Duan. Poetry, songs, literary compositions, and aspirations—all were about benefiting the nation through life and death, like great bells weighing ten thousand jun, like fierce drums beating urgently… Though we were both raised by the same person, we weren’t the same person.”

Therefore, “I thought, when we have leisure time, when you want to talk about the elders in your family, then I’ll ask you. That would be the best time.”

Lan Shanjun’s eyes grew increasingly bright.

Yu Qingwu’s tongue grew sharper. He smiled, “Shanjun, do you know how your master encountered you?”

Lan Shanjun didn’t understand his meaning. Yu Qingwu walked to the side and broke off a branch from the pear tree, carefully saying, “From Luoyang to Shu Province, from Shu Province to Huailing—”

He drew a line on the ground.

Then he drew another line beside it, “This is Duke Zhenguo and his son being defeated in battle, from when he mistakenly picked you up to arriving at Huailing—”

“These two lines, calculating the time, were remarkably similar. He didn’t have time to first find a temple, clean it up and live there, and then come pick you up.”

He guessed, “Based on the travel time, you must have been abandoned in front of the broken temple first, and then he picked you up.”

Lan Shanjun’s eyes slowly widened. Yu Qingwu continued, “Of course, I might have estimated the time wrong, but based on my understanding of General Duan, I estimate that after the former Crown Prince died, he didn’t want to live alone. Going to Shu Province was just to pay respects to his own son. After paying respects, he inevitably would have sought death.”

But how to die?

His expression became mournful, “He had written that he wished to die on the battlefield, sacrificing himself for the nation. He had written that he wished to crash against the high hall, petitioning for the people.”

But when he reached Shu Province that year, neither applied. Yu Qingwu said, “I think at that time he probably didn’t know how to write the word ‘death’ in a way that would be worthy of that red official robe that countless soldiers’ blood had exchanged for him back then.”

“At this moment, he passed by a wild temple entrance and saw you.”

Lan Shanjun’s breath caught. She stared wide-eyed at Yu Qingwu, then looked down at those two lines.

She was almost mesmerized, watching as Yu Qingwu’s hand slowly moved. He was gradually drawing the line that symbolized her downward, then connecting it to the other line. “He looked at you, picked you up, didn’t know how to settle you, and finally stood still for a long while—I don’t know what he thought, but in the end, he must have placed you before the Buddha, then rolled up his sleeves himself and cleaned out a temple dwelling.”

“Shanjun, that should have become your home.”

Lan Shanjun involuntarily nodded.

Yu Qingwu’s smile grew even brighter, “Shanjun, he loved you very much.”

“—You see, you allowed him to live twelve more years.”

Though he had never asked about her past, in his heart he had already silently deduced it countless times.

Lan Shanjun nearly cried again.

Her voice trembled with almost urgent emotion, “—The old monk loved me very much.”

“I was quite stubborn before, but I knew that when I rolled on the ground, he would wash my clothes. When I said I wanted to go buy books, even though he didn’t want to leave the village, he was willing to follow behind me to protect me…”

Before she was twelve, every bit of stubbornness had backing.

After she was twelve, every bit of stubbornness had no one to support it anymore.

She lowered her head, unwilling to raise it.

Yu Qingwu didn’t rush her. He just stood quietly beside her.

No one knew how long passed. When Lan Shanjun raised her head again, she had already calmed down. She said, “Yu Qingwu, you’re truly a good person.”

Having this one phrase made even ten thousand deaths worthwhile.

After Yu Qingwu escorted her back to sleep peacefully, he remained joyful.

Until—

Nanny Qian called out to him with a strange expression on her face, “Young Master Yu, come here for a moment.”

Yu Qingwu’s face lit up, “Nanny Qian, I’m coming right away.”

Nanny Qian looked left and right, then secretly slipped him a book, “I saved this for you—don’t be caught knowing nothing when the time comes.”

Yu Qingwu said with a smile, “What book is it?”

He opened it to look and immediately closed it again.

His face turned completely red, “Nanny Qian!”

Nanny Qian explained, “I was afraid if I kept it at my place it would be seen, and then I’d become a disrespectful elder. It was always meant for you anyway. Giving it to you now is fine too.”

The old lady still thought of people when good things came her way, saying, “I bought so many books, and I specifically had the proprietor select this one. It’s the best seller.”

Yu Qingwu hurriedly stuffed the book into his sleeve, saying resentfully, “Nanny Qian, I’m leaving right now.”

——

The next day, Lan Shanjun bid farewell to Old Lady Shou and Nanny Qian and returned to Duke Zhenguo’s residence. She hadn’t been back for a long time, yet upon returning she had to help mediate disputes.

First Huihui came to say she and her mother had quarreled several more times recently. All about marriage matters. She complained, “I’ve already thought it through clearly. I don’t necessarily have to marry far away, but I think I definitely can’t only listen to Mother’s words and marry into a high family.”

“To marry or not to marry should be a lifetime matter. How can we only focus on family status? If the families aren’t matched in status, I won’t be happy either.”

She said, “I always feel I shouldn’t be too hasty. Does my entire life consist of nothing but getting married? Is there nothing else I can do? Mother keeps nagging about this—my ears are about to explode.”

Lan Shanjun asked, “Last time I told you to have a proper talk with Mother—did you talk?”

Huihui replied, “I talked. I told her all my thoughts. At the time she even cried as if she were dying, holding me and saying: Huihui, I never imagined you would suffer so much. From now on I won’t complain to you about these things anymore, and I won’t force you.”

Lan Shanjun said, “Isn’t that quite good?”

Huihui replied, “With Mother’s personality, you know very well—the vow she made yesterday, the next day after hearing what someone said, her resolve softened again. She came back crying to me, earnestly advising me: You’re still young, you haven’t thought things through.”

Lan Shanjun asked with amusement, “And then?”

Huihui said, “How could I not know her personality? I could only cry even more miserably.”

But after crying too much, she lost interest, and even that sense of years of grievance became distorted and unrecognizable.

So she didn’t want to cry anymore. She was quite annoyed, “Now whenever I hear the word ‘marriage,’ I feel like vomiting.”

Hearing this, Lan Shanjun consoled her, “If so, then let’s wait a bit longer.”

But Zhu Shi refused to wait any longer. She pulled Lan Shanjun aside, saying, “What’s going on? Old Lady Shou’s illness still hasn’t improved? She doesn’t even have time to arrange a marriage match? I’m afraid she’s unwilling to arrange a match for Huihui, isn’t she?”

Lan Shanjun frowned, “Mother, be careful with your words. If someone heard this, they’d say we’re ungrateful and disloyal.”

Zhu Shi had just quarreled with Huihui and was already anxious in her heart, so she spoke without choosing her words, “Shanjun, tell me honestly—are you unwilling to let Huihui marry into a high family? You yourself married Yu Qingwu, which isn’t considered good, so you want to…”

Lan Shanjun looked at her coldly.

“Mother, be careful with your words. If you continue speaking like this, when I return from the Eastern Palace tomorrow, I’ll go stay at the Shou residence until I’m married.”

Zhu Shi fell silent.

She knew she had misspoken, yet she also felt that Lan Shanjun’s wings had hardened. Before, she would at least maintain appearances with her, but now she didn’t even want to maintain the façade of mutual harmony.

She cried, “You don’t even know how stubborn Huihui has become now—she simply won’t listen to me. Would I harm her?”

But Lan Shanjun said, “Mother should say these words to Father. Huihui is his daughter too. When you have difficulties, you should ask him to put in effort. Mother should also say these words to Eldest Brother and Third Brother. As her older brothers, they should also strive upward so that Duke Zhenguo’s residence can regain its former glory. That way, the sisters can marry well.”

“—All of this, rather than forcing Huihui to marry into a high family just so your reputation looks better when you go out.”

Zhu Shi was completely stunned. She discovered that this time when she returned, Lan Shanjun’s attitude was completely different. She seemed to have thoroughly separated herself from this family and wasn’t willing to listen to even a single complaint anymore.

She murmured, “You say Old Lady Shou is ill, but didn’t you also have her arrange a match for the eldest daughter of Marquis Wenyuan’s residence? And it was with Duke Qingguo’s residence too. What, does my daughter not deserve Duke Qingguo’s residence? Is our family status even lower than Marquis Wenyuan’s residence?”

Hearing these words, Lan Shanjun finally understood where Mother’s strange energy today had come from.

She said with amusement, “This matter… it’s not something that succeeded just because I went to speak with Lady Qingguo. She had already chosen the person herself—I just gave it a push at the right moment. Otherwise, do you think I could make her marry whoever I want? Mother, I don’t have that much influence.”

She smiled again and said, “But setting aside the fact that her family doesn’t have a son the same age as Huihui who could wait for Huihui to grow up, just speaking of your relationship with her… it really isn’t good, is it? How many times has Mother cursed Lady Qingguo in front of us? She ridicules my past every time she sees me, never giving you face—if Mother wants to marry Huihui there, have you considered whether Huihui will have a good life under her hand?”

Lan Shanjun couldn’t help but sigh, “Mother, this truly hurts people’s hearts.”

Zhu Shi had only spoken this way because she was anxious. After being lectured by Lan Shanjun, she began to regret her words again. She raised her head, wanting to offer a way to smooth things over, but saw that between Lan Shanjun’s brows there wasn’t the slightest bit of dejection.

Zhu Shi’s expression paused. Lan Shanjun stood up, opened the window, and let the bright harmonious breeze enter the room.

She basked in the warm sunlight and sighed, “Mother, in this world there are mothers and daughters like us who aren’t close, without affinity or connection. Naturally there are also those like you and Huihui who are close and care for each other.”

“Between you and me there is distance and remoteness, so however Mother treats me, I don’t mind. But Huihui cares deeply about you, so love breeds resentment, yet she doesn’t dare leave.”

She smiled and advised, “Huihui isn’t having an easy time. Mother, please cherish her.”

Zhu Shi listened in a daze, then suddenly asked, “When you say this, you’re hurting my heart too.”

Lan Shanjun waved her hand and drank a cup of Shu Province ginger tea that Nanny Qian had made for her, “If your heart is hurt, so be it. I, however, am quite happy.”

Before, she was always caught up in the cycle of whether Mother loved her or not, whether she should love Mother.

When I struggled with myself for too long, I forgot that actually there were people who loved me uniquely.

Actually, from the moment she met the old monk, she hadn’t lacked care. She also knew how to love people.

Her filial affection allowed the old monk to live twelve more years.

She smiled, slowly placed her hand on Zhu Shi’s shoulder, then gently patted it, “Mother, I don’t hate you.”

But I don’t love you much either.

She had finally, for her ten-years-ago self and her ten-years-later self, in this muddled span of time, clarified this relationship.

She called for Nanny Zhao to pack things, “When we return tomorrow, we’ll still go back to the Shou residence to serve Old Lady Shou.”

Nanny Zhao acknowledged, “Yes.”

Movement stirred in the room. Zhu Shi sat there in a daze, and even when Huihui came over, she didn’t say another word.

She was someone who cared about appearances. Having just had a quarrel, at this moment even saying a word to try to make them stay felt like losing face.

So Huihui looked at this one, looked at that one, and in the end said nothing.

It was Third Young Madam who heard the commotion and came over to ask what had happened. Lan Shanjun took her hand with a smile and said, “Old Lady Shou’s illness hasn’t improved much. I’ve received her kindness and originally wanted to run back and forth between both places, but Mother is concerned about me being tired and told me to go stay at the Shou residence.”

Third Young Madam frowned.

Her mother-in-law was not this kind of person.

She sighed, “Alright.”

The affairs of this family were truly vexing.

——

The next day, Yu Qingwu came early to Duke Zhenguo’s residence to pick her up. Fourth Master especially kept him to talk, asking about matters at court, “I heard that Minister Su brought up the matter of the tea-horse trade with His Majesty?”

Yu Qingwu explained, “Yes. Minister Su believes that this was originally left behind by our ancestors. Since it’s something that benefits the people and the nation, why shouldn’t it be used?”

Fourth Master asked, “But haven’t we been exchanging tea for horses all these years?”

Yu Qingwu’s words were diplomatic, “Before, wasn’t it swallowed up by Marquis Boyuan? It’s no longer an instrument of national benefit, but rather a means for corrupt officials to amass wealth.”

Fourth Master fell silent, then sighed, “If this succeeds, Minister Su could receive ten thousand people’s umbrellas of gratitude.”

Yu Qingwu nodded and said solemnly, “He truly deserves it.”

With Minister Su taking the lead, even if His Majesty didn’t agree, he would still have to think it over several times because of Marquis Boyuan’s scandal, and would probably concede some benefits in the end.

Minister Su said, “With just this little bit, we can still save many people.”

Save one more person if we can.

Though Fourth Master was mediocre, on this matter he was clear-minded. He patted Yu Qingwu’s shoulder, “I trust you.”

Yu Qingwu hadn’t expected to hear these words and said with a smile, “Fourth Uncle, when I return let’s have another drink.”

Lan Shanjun then discovered that Yu Qingwu could actually get along well with anyone.

She sat in the carriage, lifted the curtain to look at Yu Qingwu, and teased, “I’m afraid in this world, your appearance of being a good person can’t deceive my Third Brother.”

Riding on horseback, Yu Qingwu quickly shook his head, “I wouldn’t dare. I’m afraid he’d want to sleep beside me.”

Lan Shanjun couldn’t help but laugh and lowered the curtain.

When they arrived at the Eastern Palace, she still wore a smiling expression.

The Grand Imperial Grandson Consort had stolen time from her busy schedule to come see her—the Empress had long since stopped managing affairs, and usually it was Noble Consort Lin who handled the six palaces’ matters. Now that Noble Consort Lin had fallen ill because of Marquis Boyuan’s affair, the matters had fallen to Consort Cai.

Consort Cai was quite slippery, coming to ask the Grand Imperial Grandson Consort’s opinion on everything.

The Grand Imperial Grandson Consort found it extremely vexing, but the other party was an elder, and she hadn’t explicitly said she wanted her to manage things—she just came around in a roundabout way to ask questions. She couldn’t refuse, lest it cause trouble for the Grand Imperial Grandson.

However, even while stealing time from her busy schedule, she didn’t neglect Lan Shanjun at all.

She still quite liked Yu Qingwu, so naturally she extended that affection to those associated with him. She said with a smile, “I heard you were previously from Shu Province?”

Lan Shanjun nodded, “Yes.”

The Grand Imperial Grandson Consort said, “Then having just arrived in Luoyang, you must not be able to eat the food here.”

Back when her maternal great-uncle had just returned from Shu Province, he absolutely had to add some chili peppers to his food.

A’Hu couldn’t eat spicy food but wanted to steal some, so he always got diarrhea afterward but didn’t dare say anything. In the end it was she who pinched her nose and accompanied him to secretly deal with it.

She thought of the past with a smile, then caught sight of her two children sneaking in.

She beckoned to them, “What’s wrong?”

Then she introduced them to Lan Shanjun, “This is A’Li, this is A’Man.”

Lan Shanjun quickly performed a courtesy.

The Grand Imperial Grandson Consort hugged both children, “Were you being mischievous again?”

A’Li complained, “Little Sister’s knife was taken away by the teacher.”

The Grand Imperial Grandson Consort asked, “What happened?”

A’Li explained, “She was still touching the knife while reading.”

The Grand Imperial Grandson Consort warned, “Don’t let your father know, or he’ll definitely punish you.”

A’Man smiled shyly. Though she loved knives, she had a bashful temperament.

Lan Shanjun listened with a smile the whole time. After the Grand Imperial Grandson Consort finished teaching the children, they began chatting about domestic matters again.

Lan Shanjun said, “This subject’s daughter has been staying at the Shou residence all along.”

The Grand Imperial Grandson Consort didn’t like Old Lady Shou, but thinking that she had also been good to her in the past, she still asked, “How is the old lady’s health?”

Lan Shanjun shook her head, “Not very good.”

The Grand Imperial Grandson Consort was silent for a moment, then said, “I’ll have someone go to the storeroom to get some medicinal tonics for you to bring back to her.”

Lan Shanjun replied, “Yes.”

After saying a few more things, the conversation turned to the children. She said, “This subject’s daughter just heard that the young princess likes knives?”

The Grand Imperial Grandson Consort smiled, “Recently she took one from the Grand Imperial Grandson to play with. She’s probably just fascinated with the novelty.”

Lan Shanjun said, “I’ve also practiced with knives for over ten years.”

The Grand Imperial Grandson Consort became interested, “Is that so?”

Lan Shanjun nodded, “Yes.”

She asked, “Shall I show you?”

The Grand Imperial Grandson Consort replied, “That would be wonderful. It’s been so long since I’ve seen a young lady wield a blade or sword.”

It was just quite unfortunate that right after she finished speaking, a palace maid came to report, “Consort Cai has arrived.”

The Grand Imperial Grandson Consort sighed in frustration.

She stood up gloomily, “Miss Lan Liu, please wait for me.”

She also had someone go fetch a knife.

The Grand Imperial Grandson’s residence truly had everything. With just one word from the Grand Imperial Grandson Consort, the eunuchs brought over a dozen knives for her to choose from.

Lan Shanjun thanked her with a smile and, under the curious gazes of the two children, selected a curved blade.

A’Li and A’Man couldn’t help but come over to look, asking, “Can you really use a knife?”

Lan Shanjun nodded, “Yes.”

A’Li asked, “Are you very skilled?”

Lan Shanjun replied, “I suppose so.”

A’Li then said, “My mother can too, but she only knows a little.”

Lan Shanjun asked, “Only a little?”

A’Li nodded, “Mother said the person who taught her the knife only taught her a little.”