◎She ate his heart, claimed his life, and only then would he dare to open his eyes with justified confidence◎

In the dim, hazy lamplight, Yu Qingwu closed his eyes.

He had once heard his elder brother say that when a person’s affection spreads, it must first overflow from the eyes.

He felt his eyes were surely brimming full with the two characters for Shanjun. At this moment, he must either raise his head to bury that affection within his eye sockets, or lower his head and let it fall, silently scattering onto the ground to meld with the moonlight.

In any case, she couldn’t be allowed to see it.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t even be able to keep his pallet bed in the outer chamber.

But she was so wonderful that he truly loved her to the point of being unable to bear it. His heart was burning hot, rolling and scalding like the tofu Nanny Qian fried daily in her hot pan—wishing he could be split open by the oil to offer her the tenderest piece inside to eat.

Only if she ate his heart and claimed his life would he dare to open his eyes with justified confidence and let her see the characters for Shanjun filling his eyes completely.

But he didn’t dare. He still wanted his pallet bed.

He could only restrain himself.

He heard himself say, “I invite you to read the biography of Shanjun—how could the crane speak out of jealousy?”

Lan Shanjun was taken aback, then smiled and stood up, saying, “Thank you for your praise.”

It seemed that at this moment, she had completely become a kindred spirit in his heart.

This feeling was quite good.

In the past, her capacity for love had been too small—she only knew how to love the old monk and her children. In this lifetime reborn, both the old monk and her children were gone, and she had been walking between heaven and earth sustained by hatred, always feeling she had nothing to rely on.

Unable to support the sky above or touch the ground below. Now that she was willing to love the people of the world, her capacity for love had grown, and it seemed to dispel some of the boundless darkness, bringing considerable peace to her heart.

The Zhong Kui demon-subduing lamp she carried swayed its light as she returned to bed and fell into a peaceful sleep. Yu Qingwu naturally didn’t dare remain sitting on the floor either, so he returned to his pallet bed to toss and turn—turning gently.

He didn’t sleep all night. When dawn came, he dozed lightly, and in that half-asleep, half-awake state, light appeared before his eyes and he heard someone calling his name. He sat up with a carp leap—a gentle leap.

But there was no one.

No one was calling him.

So he quietly walked to Shanjun’s bedside to change her lamp for her.

When he went outside, Nanny Qian asked what he wanted to eat. He replied dully, “Make fried tofu for Shanjun to eat.”

Nanny Qian: “Did Shanjun say she wanted to eat it?”

Yu Qingwu’s voice grew even duller: “It’s what I want Shanjun to eat.”

Nanny Qian: “Then I won’t make it!”

Yu Qingwu: “Why won’t you make it?”

Nanny Qian glanced at him. “What if Shanjun doesn’t like it?”

Just because you want her to eat it means she has to eat it?

Really, it’s only been this long since the wedding and he’s already starting to get bold.

Yu Qingwu: “…”

He sighed and said weakly, “Then I’ll eat it myself.”

After eating, he hurried off to the Court of Imperial Stud. When Gonglin saw him, he strode over and said resentfully, “Junior Minister Yu, what’s happened with Wang Deyi’s case?”

Yu Qingwu: “I don’t know either. The Ministry of Justice and the Court of Judicial Review are still investigating.”

Gonglin: “I asked my father and mother, and they just told me not to concern myself with it. But how can I not? My eyes aren’t blind—I can’t just turn a blind eye and ask no questions, can I?”

Yu Qingwu said gently, “Just wait a bit. Let’s first handle the matter of the horse plague.”

Gonglin: “How much silver did the court provide?”

Yu Qingwu: “So far there are three hundred thousand taels.”

Gonglin scoffed. “This pittance—how can it compensate for anything?”

Yu Qingwu: “That’s why we still need to request more silver.”

The matters were too complex and jumbled. He didn’t dare make a wrong step—each step had to be taken with extreme care. He kept feeling that although the old master had died, there should still be follow-up moves. Otherwise, how could someone like the old master leave such a huge mess for him to handle?

But having just entered the court, his involvement in affairs was not deep, and for the moment he couldn’t figure it out. He also didn’t dare fully trust the Grand Heir. At this time, all he could do was win over the Grand Heir, make the Grand Heir favor him, to have even a slim chance.

Yu Qingwu sometimes felt this was a dead end. Although His Majesty was unkind, although there were minor conflicts in various regions, although the common people suffered unbearably, heaven be praised, since His Majesty’s ascension to the throne, there had never been any natural disasters, foreign tribes had not attacked, and the largest site of rebellion was Shuzhou, which had now been pacified for twenty years.

Everyone was like frogs being slowly boiled in warm water, soaking comfortably inside.

But would Heaven truly continue to show mercy forever?

He sighed, patted Gonglin’s shoulder, and said, “I’m going to the Eastern Palace shortly to see the Grand Heir about the horse plague. The Court of Imperial Stud is in your hands.”

Gonglin was so frightened his hands shook. “I say, Junior Minister Yu, you’re not going to the Eastern Palace to ram your head into a pillar too, are you?”

He truly had been scared witless.

In his entire life, he hadn’t even seen a chicken being killed, and he really didn’t want to see dead people one after another anymore.

He said earnestly, “Though I’m a wastrel, I’m a refined wastrel who cares greatly about my reputation. You mustn’t let me bear the reputation of being a jinx to my superiors. I’m getting married next year, you know.”

Yu Qingwu smiled. “Don’t worry, I have a long life ahead of me.”

He walked out of the Court of Imperial Stud and stood under the eaves, raising his head to look at the sky.

The sun blazed overhead, shining so brightly one couldn’t open one’s eyes.

He murmured, “Sometimes I find myself hoping for a year of drought to evaporate all the murky water clean, so people can see just how deep the desiccation on the ground truly runs.”

…

At the Eastern Palace, A’Li asked his mother, “Father can’t eat again?”

The Grand Heir’s consort hummed in acknowledgment, earnestly learning the sword from A’Man.

But she was still distracted by A’Li’s words, her movements became unstable, and A’Man was dissatisfied. “Mother, you need to focus. If you don’t focus again, I’ll punish you.”

The Grand Heir’s consort laughed. “After only a few days of learning, your shy personality is gone, and now you’re throwing your weight around.”

She simply set the sword aside. “I’m going to check on your father. I’ll practice the sword again this evening.”

All right then.

A’Man also decided to slack off. She shook her head. “Father always refuses to eat properly.”

A’Li: “This is not good. Don’t learn from him.”

A’Man certainly wouldn’t learn that. She said, “Teacher Lan says that learning the sword requires the most strength, so one must eat more rice.”

Children are adorable, and they eat with gusto. The Grand Heir’s consort said, “Then let’s eat together.”

She directly opened the door and entered the room. The Grand Heir had been contemplating the aftermath of Su Huairen’s case with his eyes closed, but when the door opened and sunlight streamed in, he could still see it.

He stood up and stumbled, barely managing to steady himself by gripping the table. Seeing this, the Grand Heir’s consort laughed. “If you don’t eat, I’m afraid you’ll dry yourself out completely.”

Grand Heir: “That won’t do. A dried-up, shriveled man wouldn’t be comfortable for you to hold.”

A’Li covered A’Man’s ears. “Hear no impropriety.”

The Grand Heir’s consort set out the dishes on the side, serving four bowls of rice. “Come eat quickly.”

The Grand Heir’s eyes grew hot.

The warmth of mortal life was Heaven’s final mercy to him.

Seeing this, after the children left, the Grand Heir’s consort pulled him into her arms. “What is it?”

Grand Heir: “Su Huairen ramming his head into the pillar to his death… this is executing my heart.”

He murmured, “I’ve already taken over the Court of Imperial Stud—why did he have to go and remonstrate with death? Couldn’t he have waited a bit longer?”

The Grand Heir’s consort was silent for a moment, then said, “You can afford to wait; he cannot. You’re waiting for an opportunity; he was waiting for this disaster relief silver.”

She said, “A’Hu, when he chose to go to his death at that moment, it meant he had completely lost hope in the court.”

Rather than saying he died remonstrating, it would be better to say he no longer wished to live.

She said, “He spent his entire life working, but what did he accomplish? Now with another horse plague occurring, he no longer wished to survive alone.”

The Grand Heir sighed. “That’s why I say he’s executing my heart. He knew I couldn’t save him, nor could I save those people.”

The Grand Heir’s consort asked, “You don’t dare take another step forward?”

Grand Heir: “I don’t dare.”

The Grand Heir’s consort said no more. She only looked toward the window. After a long while, she said, “A’Hu, now you can climb the tree without your great-uncle holding you.”

The Grand Heir followed her gaze and happened to see the large tree that in his childhood he always needed his great-uncle to lift him onto before he could sit on its branches.

He murmured, “I can climb up now. But I haven’t climbed it again.”

The Grand Heir’s consort left it at that. Some words, when spoken, brought relief and were easy. But for those who had to act on them, they faced mortal danger, could not turn back, and it was extremely difficult indeed.

So she began gathering the dishes to go out. Seeing him looking lost and dejected, she advised, “A’Hu, your health is already poor. If you exhaust your spirit too much, it will shorten your life.”

“I have no wish to become a widow.”

The Grand Heir smiled and sat quietly there, watching her carry the food box out. Then the door was closed, she disappeared, and his room continued to sink into darkness.

Around midday, Yu Qingwu arrived.

Yu Qingwu handed over the memorial he had written and noticed the Grand Heir was playing chess with himself again.

Left hand versus right hand, evenly matched—for now it was unclear which hand would win.

He sat down. “Why doesn’t Your Highness play chess with the Grand Heir’s consort?”

Grand Heir: “She doesn’t like playing chess.”

He said, “She can’t sit still—she always prefers to move about.”

Yu Qingwu: “It’s the same in my household. My wife loves the sword and at home always feels satisfied swinging her blade around. I prefer staying in the study reading books and playing chess.”

Having said this, he changed the subject. “Would Your Highness be willing to play a game with me?”

The Grand Heir, however, was unwilling.

He said, “I don’t like playing chess with others.”

The chessboard was like a battlefield, chess techniques like one’s inner methods—they would always be scrutinized.

So Yu Qingwu kept his eyes on his nose and his nose on his heart as he began speaking about matters at the Court of Imperial Stud. Just as he started, he heard the Grand Heir’s consort’s voice from outside.

She stood outside the door, saying softly, “A’Li says he wants to play inside.”

But the Grand Heir understood Yuanniang’s intention. Helplessly, he opened the door, first reaching out to pinch the Grand Heir’s consort’s cheek before leading his son inside.

He said, “Junior Minister Yu, please proceed.”

Yu Qingwu was taken aback but then nodded. He glanced hesitantly at A’Li before saying, “The current horse administration policy is exhausting the people’s wealth. If it’s not stopped, I fear it will spark another rebellion.”

A’Li sat not far from them, playing with tangram pieces while pricking up his ears to listen. After listening for a while, he spoke up and asked, “Why does raising horses exhaust the people’s wealth?”

He put on a serious face. “Isn’t raising horses so that the soldiers on the frontier have horses to ride?”

Yu Qingwu then turned his body slightly and looked at him respectfully. “In reply to the Imperial Grandson, our dynasty raises too many horses. Just the registered breeding horses alone number one hundred seventy thousand. Of these, fifty thousand are stallions and one hundred twenty thousand are mares.”

“With many horses, people are needed to raise them. The court cannot afford this expenditure, so it makes the common people in suitable horse-raising regions raise the horses, requiring them to submit one foal per year.”

“At first, this was a good thing. The common people raised horses and didn’t need to pay taxes—they could get by. But later, as the court had no conflicts and had enough horses, they sold the surplus horses, with the extra silver going to the Court of Imperial Stud.”

A’Li: “Isn’t that very good?”

Yu Qingwu chose his words carefully. “The court’s original intention was good, but unfortunately those below did things poorly. Initially, the civilian horse administration was only in Pingzhou and Chuzhou, but after tasting the sweetness of selling horses for silver, they expanded the horse administration to Jinzhou, Yuzhou, Shuzhou, and other places.”

“Those places are not suitable for raising horses. What happens when they can’t raise them? The common people can only compensate with silver. What happens when the horses they raise frequently die? The common people can only sell their sons and daughters to compensate. What happens when the common people are unwilling to raise horses? Local officials begin forbidding them from farming their fields. Those with fields have them confiscated.”

A’Li’s expression grew increasingly troubled. The Grand Heir sat to one side, not knowing what he was thinking, not stopping Yu Qingwu.

So Yu Qingwu continued, “This is only what happened before… In the past ten years, local officials have become even more unbridled, increasing from one foal per year to two. The horse compensation silver in various regions is no longer controlled by the court but depends on the conscience of the local officials. The more black-hearted ones charge twenty taels of silver for one foal. Where can ordinary common people get twenty taels of silver?”

“So just from raising horses, the common people can no longer afford it. First they sell their sons and daughters, then they pawn their wives, then sell their land, and finally they die themselves.”

A’Li stood up. “How can things have reached such a state—why hasn’t anyone gone to manage it?”

Yu Qingwu breathed out lightly. “Therein lies the problem.”

He looked toward the Grand Heir. “Every region has a Court of Imperial Stud, but the local Courts of Imperial Stud don’t answer to local authorities. Officials are redundant—those above want silver, those below want silver too. Today they inspect the horses and flay a layer of skin from the common people; tomorrow they visit a herder’s home once and collect a fee for instructing on gelding horses. A family’s entire wealth gets emptied out, and this has already become commonplace.”

Yu Qingwu pulled a memorial from his sleeve. “This is the count of pastureland I’ve compiled these past days. Over the years, pastureland has been frequently occupied. Taking Yanzhou pastureland as an example, two-thirds of it has disappeared.”

He said gravely, “When the skin is gone, where can the hair attach itself?”

A’Li could no longer understand. He furrowed his small face in deep thought. The Grand Heir had not spoken all this while. After waiting a long time, he finally said, “A’Li, go tell your mother to prepare an extra portion for the midday meal—Junior Minister Yu will be dining at our home.”

A’Li: “All right.”

He walked halfway, then turned to look at both of them. “Before I came, I promised Mother I wouldn’t tell anyone what I heard.”

The Grand Heir smiled. “Good child, go play now.”

A’Li left, his mind heavy with concerns.

After he left, the Grand Heir looked at Yu Qingwu. “Is there anything else to say?”

Yu Qingwu nodded. “There is.”

He said, “What I just mentioned was all the suffering of the common people. Your Highness probably looks down upon that—it won’t reach His Majesty’s ears. So let me speak of the court’s suffering.”

With just this one sentence, the Grand Heir’s heart sank heavily once again.

The sarcasm was sarcastic, but with the world being what it was, what could he do about it?

He looked at Yu Qingwu. “You’d better be able to tell me of a suffering significant enough that I can bring it to His Majesty’s ears.”

Yu Qingwu understood his meaning.

After dealing with this Emperor on several matters, he had come to understand him fairly well. If you spoke of the common people’s suffering in raising horses, he would remain unmoved. But if you said various regions were disregarding Imperial grace, he would open his eyes to see who dared disregard him.

He could pretend to sleep, but you couldn’t touch his bottom line.

An emperor’s bottom line was nothing more than troops and silver.

Yu Qingwu had carefully considered this, deduced it countless times. He said softly, “Does Your Highness think, given Prince Qi’s temperament, might he make trouble with the war horses?”

And the two words “war horses” touched the Emperor’s bottom line.

Only then did the Grand Heir raise his eyes, his face showing a smile.

After Yu Qingwu left, the Grand Heir sat to one side eating pastries the Grand Heir’s consort had brought over, smiling as he said, “After Su Huairen’s case, Yu Qingwu has finally become enlightened somewhat.”

The Grand Heir’s consort’s hand paused, and she snatched the pastry from his hand and ate it herself.

The Grand Heir hurriedly tried to grab it back. “I can eat now.”

The Grand Heir’s consort glared at him. “A person of solitary courage who originally cut the blood from his heart to extend your family’s life—now you’ve forced him to become a strategist—and you call this becoming enlightened?”

She stood up. “This kind of enlightenment—do you want it or not?”

The Grand Heir’s hand reaching for the pastry slowly fell.

He lowered his head. “Yuanniang, don’t blame me.”

The Grand Heir’s consort chewed and swallowed the pastry. After a long while, she said, “I don’t blame you. I’m just angry.”

“I also feel heartache. Heartache for him, heartache for you.”

Yu Qingwu was like this, but hadn’t A’Hu once been the same?

If he hadn’t been like this, he couldn’t have walked out of the Eastern Palace.

She said resentfully, “Sometimes I truly want to rebel—to kill my way from here to Chengming Hall, to stab in with a blade and pierce eight or ten holes—”

The Grand Heir hurriedly covered her mouth and pressed her into his embrace. “Yuanniang, don’t speak—don’t say those words.”

Some things, once the thought arose, led to eternal damnation.

He didn’t dare.

——

All the way home, Yu Qingwu was covered in sweat from the heat.

Nanny Qian had prepared sour plum soup for him, saying with heartache, “Look at your face—oh my, how did you get so red from the sun? You’ve peeled off a layer of skin!”

Yu Qingwu hadn’t thought much of it. Just as he was about to go find Shanjun, he heard Nanny Qian say, “If you get tanned, you won’t be handsome anymore.”

Yu Qingwu turned back. “Then what should I do?”

Nanny Qian: “I have an ointment. It’s fine—apply it to your face and you’ll turn white again.”

Yu Qingwu went to find Lan Shanjun with the ointment applied, saying, “The Grand Heir’s consort sought me out today.”

Lan Shanjun had been writing a letter to Zhuyun. Hearing this, she asked, “For what matter?”

Yu Qingwu: “She had the Imperial Grandson come in to hear us discuss the horse administration.”

Lan Shanjun set down her brush.

After thinking for a moment, she said, “This is her position. Her previous bias also leaned toward us.”

Yu Qingwu nodded. But Lan Shanjun thought of her death.

She began pacing in the room, pondering for a long time before finally writing another letter to Su Hexiang, asking her to return first.

When she came back to her senses, she saw Yu Qingwu wanting to wipe off the ointment on his face but not daring to. She couldn’t help but laugh aloud, saying, “You only need to apply it for a quarter-hour.”

She said, “If you enjoy applying it, I have more in my drawer.”

Yu Qingwu: “…”

How could he dare say he enjoyed applying it?

He said, “It was Nanny Qian who forced me to apply it.”

【Author’s Note】

Starting tomorrow I’ll begin revising details in earlier chapters. I won’t change major plot points, just fix some passages and word choices that don’t flow smoothly, striving to write better. So if you see revisions in earlier chapters, you don’t need to click in.

Also, I want to promote my new advance collection “Miss Lan Is on a Journey.” “Trial Wife” needs major outline revisions due to two emotional issues within the marriage, so I’m temporarily not writing it.

——

“Little sparrow, go see the mountains and rivers of the world.”

Lan Que is a very timid girl.

After being bullied yet again, perhaps feeling too wronged, a dashing and spirited young woman appeared in her mind.

She said, “I am Song Chunying of the Huailing Song family, recorded in that history book you often read.”

Lan Que: “Wow!”

She had read of Song Chunying’s accomplishments and knew she had followed her father to war in her youth, repeatedly achieving military merit, and was Great Xia’s only female general.

From that day on, she felt much more confident.

But she couldn’t use her own temperament to disgrace a female general’s reputation.

Day by day she changed herself, working hard to become bolder, but—

Through a series of mishaps, she became engaged to the female general’s tenth-generation grandson.

Lan Que: “…This won’t do—I have his ancestor in my mind.”

——

The female general said her life had one regret: she had never returned to her homeland.

Lan Que mustered her courage. “I’ll take you back.”

She opened the map and discovered that from Luoyang to Shuzhou, she’d have to cross ten great mountains, three great rivers, and thirty cities.

So far…

But it’s all right, I can do it.

【Do Not Disturb, Miss Lan Is on a Journey】

——

Her fiancé came along on the trip.

He was someone who could only sit in a wheelchair.

It was said that previously he had been a general who had never lost a battle.

He went to war at twelve, and at twenty-four, his legs were ruined.

The girl was bright and cheerful, climbing mountains and fording rivers through all weather. He admired the courage in her, but could only say: “When you return, we’ll break off the engagement.” “Why?” “My legs cannot move.”

Lan Que shook her head and, blushing, said the bawdy words she’d just learned: “It’s all right—if you don’t move, I can move myself.”

She’s a bold girl now! Fist bump!

【The person in her mind is her other personality】

Lan Family Animal Girls series—Sparrow chapter

Inspiration came when the author was writing and saw a little sparrow flying at the window, suddenly wanting to write an ancient road trip story. Roughly a story that happens on the road.

Consistent healing style, mutual redemption, ensemble cast, emotional slice-of-life series.

Please, collect it—this child wants high advance collections to start writing!