◎She returned to Luoyang, already entering the third spring.◎

Nanny Qian had stir-fried an extra plate of side dishes, so she invited Nanny Zhao and the others to drink together.

After drinking their fill, she hummed a little tune on her way back to her room. Passing through the courtyard, she happened to see Yu Qingwu carrying a quilt out the door.

The cold wind was fierce. He was dressed thinly, his whole person emanating an air of dejection and loss.

Oh my, poor bitter melon!

Nanny Qian hurried over: “Young Master Yu, how did you get driven out again?”

Yu Qingwu sighed heavily.

He knew it—once a holy monk renounced his vows, once a eunuch developed desires, he would fall into the mortal realm and be rolled off the couch.

He didn’t say it directly, but at this moment silence spoke louder than words. Nanny Qian worried for him: “Can you do this or not? It’s been almost a year, and you still haven’t moved Shanjun’s heart?”

Yu Qingwu looked up in surprise. “You know that Shanjun and I… our hearts aren’t aligned?”

Nanny Qian: “Am I blind? Shanjun is polite and courteous to you, without any affection—where’s anything like husband and wife in that?”

Yu Qingwu didn’t like hearing this. He used his eyes to direct Nanny Qian to look at the quilt. “Just as I was about to leave, Shanjun told me to take the quilt so I wouldn’t freeze at night. Isn’t that affection?”

Nanny Qian: “…”

“If you want to think of it that way, go ahead.”

She took Yu Qingwu to the kitchen to warm up by the fire and made him a late-night snack to console the disappointed soul.

She deftly chopped meat into shreds, asking in puzzlement: “You’ve clung on in that room for almost a year. You could keep clinging—how come you’re willing to come out now?”

Yu Qingwu didn’t speak. After a long while, he said: “I can no longer control my eyes.”

It turned out that even though he’d had feelings early on, this affection had depths.

As his feelings grew deeper, he would inevitably be exposed.

Nanny Qian laughed as she heated oil in the wok. “Do you regret it?”

Yu Qingwu shook his head. “No regrets.”

Before, he had loved Shanjun.

Now, he wanted to love Shanjun.

Before, he was willing to refill her lamp each morning, but now he wanted even more for that Zhong Kui demon-expelling lamp of hers to never need lighting again.

The wind outside grew stronger, but his voice became even softer. He said gently: “I didn’t understand Shanjun before. I only thought that lighting a lamp for her could soothe her nightmares. But thinking about it now, the reason nightmares are nightmares is that three horizontal strokes and one vertical stroke form boxes and frames, sealing people’s mouths shut so they can say nothing, only endure alone.”

He placed a piece of firewood into the stove. The flames instantly blazed higher: “So I thought… since she’s unwilling to speak of the past, then I’ll speak of the future for her.”

To speak of the future, he had developed greed.

He murmured: “I want her future to include me.”

Nanny Qian was so moved by these words that she added three extra eggs to his noodles!

She handed over the bowl, encouraging him: “Young Master Yu, although they say when a man pursues a woman there’s a mountain between them, in my eyes, you’ve already climbed half that mountain.”

But Yu Qingwu didn’t dare believe it. He held the bowl without moving, unable to eat.

Nanny Qian: “Would I lie to you?”

She pointed at the eggs in the bowl. “Take these eggs, for example. They look unremarkable, showing nothing special, but they contain the qi of heaven and earth, forming their own small world.”

“The egg white is like heaven and belongs to yang, the yolk is like earth and belongs to yin. The white surrounds the yolk. Though they can be separated, with yin and yang intermingled—without the white, can it still be called an egg?”

She smiled consolingly: “You and Shanjun—your fates are intertwined. You’ve long since formed a separate small world that no one can penetrate. Even though you’ve been driven out now, in that small world of yours, only you can enter.”

“Watching from the side, I can see that Shanjun treats you very differently.”

These words ultimately made Yu Qingwu happy. After eating three eggs and still not satisfied, he begged Nanny Qian to cook three more so he could have more of this heaven and earth qi.

Nanny Qian rolled her eyes. “Even heaven and earth qi can’t be too inflated!”

She shooed him off to bed and busied herself alone in the kitchen.

She brought a bowl of noodles to Lan Shanjun.

She asked with a smile: “You drove Young Master Yu out?”

Lan Shanjun was also vexed. “I had intended to sleep in the study myself.”

But when he heard that, he no longer wanted to cultivate sharing the boat either. In a panic, he stood up to leave in such a rush that it was she who remembered the study had no quilts and made him carry one with him.

Otherwise he would probably have suffered the cold all night without a word.

She sighed. “I feel very guilty.”

But Nanny Qian gave a little cry: “Why would you sleep outside? No need to feel guilty! This residence was given to you by the old madam. If Young Master Yu pleases you, he can sleep here. If he doesn’t please you, well, you can drive him out without any problem.”

Lan Shanjun found this amusing. “I’ve worried you again.”

Nanny Qian: “Don’t worry, I’m not here to plead his case—just afraid you might be hungry.”

Lan Shanjun was grateful. After a pause, she still asked: “Is he alright?”

Nanny Qian sighed. “How could he be alright? He looked very sad, as if Wu Qingchuan had died again.”

Lan Shanjun held her noodles, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Finally she also sighed: “Like he’s in mourning.”

In the end, she had wronged him.

Nanny Qian patted her head. “Don’t worry. This person has been hurt so many times that he heals quickly. I’ve never seen anyone who heals wounds as fast as he does.”

“Look at how Wu Qingchuan treated him—did he ever become dejected and give up?”

That was true.

Since meeting Yu Qingwu, Lan Shanjun had indeed discovered that he never wallowed in past pain, never complained about past injustices. He simply quietly accepted the suffering fate gave him, then got up from the ground and walked forward without hesitation.

He was someone willing to hope for the future.

He acted the same way in this matter.

The next day, he acted as if nothing had happened, greeting her.

He kept his distance, giving her no sense of coercion. Lowering his head awkwardly, he asked: “Shanjun, do you eat eggs?”

With him like this, Lan Shanjun didn’t know what to say. It was as if she’d had a breath of air that could have continued in her heart and throat, but because of this soft sentence of his, it instantly dissipated into nothing.

The two continued getting along this way until New Year.

This year was destined to be difficult. When Lan Shanjun entered the palace for the last time before New Year, the Grand Imperial Grandson told her not to come to the Eastern Palace during the holiday, lest she be implicated.

Lan Shanjun understood—the Grand Imperial Grandson’s Consort’s case was about to have a conclusion.

Sure enough, on the twenty-seventh day of the twelfth month, Noble Consort Lin fell gravely ill and passed away. The Empress emerged to take charge of the situation, reclaiming the authority of the central palace from Consort Shu Cai.

On the fifth day of the new year, Prince Qi, as a filial son, should have received the Emperor’s compassion. But during this period, the Emperor reprimanded him for excessive mourning and confined him to Prince Qi’s residence.

Without thinking too hard, Lan Shanjun could understand that Noble Consort Lin had blocked disaster for Prince Qi this time, shouldering the responsibility.

Yu Qingwu then said: “Prince Qi wanted to kill the Grand Imperial Grandson’s Consort, but His Majesty wouldn’t make a big fuss over it. But because Prince Qi wanted to use His Majesty’s chess piece to kill the Grand Imperial Grandson’s Consort, His Majesty will no longer trust him.”

He continued: “Shanjun, it’s thanks to you. Otherwise today, it would be the Grand Imperial Grandson and his consort suffering this way.”

Lan Shanjun also felt she could breathe easier.

Treating others with their own methods—that wasn’t bad at all.

She only hoped Prince Qi could endure longer, endure until the very end. She still wanted to invite him to try Dian Tianguang. She also wanted to see just how tough his bones were.

She stood with her hands behind her back in the corridor, watching birds in the sky land on the eaves, then flutter away again.

Her eyes were clear black and white, her gaze following the birds as they came and went.

The third year.

She had returned to Luoyang, already entering the third spring.

Lan Shanjun entered the palace to pay respects to the Grand Imperial Grandson’s Consort and happened to encounter the Empress as well. The Grand Imperial Grandson’s Consort’s health had improved, but she’d been left with lingering ailments.

A’Man sobbed: “Aunt Su says Mother can no longer eat spicy food, nor can she eat much. She must eat small portions, not spicy.”

A’Li was somewhat stronger, keeping a straight face as she said: “Before, Mother always ate Father’s food. Now it’s changed to Father eating Mother’s food.”

The Grand Imperial Grandson’s Consort said with a smile: “It doesn’t matter who eats whose—at least nothing goes to waste.”

Lan Shanjun consoled: “It will gradually improve.”

The Grand Imperial Grandson’s Consort then had someone carry A’Man and A’Li out. In a low voice she asked: “Do you know what drug made me unconscious?”

Lan Shanjun shook her head.

The Grand Imperial Grandson’s Consort: “It was jue grass. It’s naturally among the five grains—using it in laba porridge causes no harm. But there’s one type of jue grass, with two noses and two stems, that’s poisonous.”

Her gaze sharpened. “This poisonous jue grass grows one season in winter and one in summer. Winter’s toxicity is less than summer’s. After Wang Deyi’s death, Prince Qi had originally planned to wait until this summer to use it on me. But because Yu Qingwu suddenly exposed Lin Qi’s war horse breeding matter, making His Majesty truly suspicious of him, he was displeased and moved it up half a year.”

Lan Shanjun suddenly understood. “So that’s how it was.”

The Grand Imperial Grandson’s Consort nodded. “Thank you and Yu Qingwu so much. Without you two, given A’Hu’s temperament, he definitely would have fallen into Prince Qi’s trap.”

The Empress had been sitting to the side without speaking. Only after the Grand Imperial Grandson’s Consort finished did she speak, looking at Lan Shanjun: “During this time, I haven’t asked you about—”

She didn’t need to finish. Lan Shanjun understood.

She spoke softly of the old monk: “When he passed away, I thought he was over seventy years old.”

He had been so thin, so old.

The Empress: “He once had his fortune told. The divination slip wasn’t good. I remember it said his life wouldn’t exceed sixty, that he’d wander homeless for half his life.”

Her eyes reddened. “It really did come true.”

He died on a winter day at fifty-nine.

The Empress said bitterly: “If only he’d endured a few more days, past winter—then he could have been counted as sixty years old.”

Lan Shanjun and the Grand Imperial Grandson’s Consort consoled her. After a long while, the Empress finally calmed down. Wiping her tears, she suddenly said: “I’ve been holding onto one breath, unwilling to die, just to see how he dies!”

Such words shouldn’t be spoken.

But Lan Shanjun knew that hearing this from the Empress meant she was considered one of their own.

This gave her much more peace of mind.

…

Yuanshao Year 50, the twenty-seventh day of the first month. Noble Consort Lin had been dead only a month. Because the palace was suppressing the matter, few people discussed it anymore. There were too many matters in Luoyang—important ones, unimportant ones—none could remain on people’s lips for long.

Especially Noble Consort Lin and Prince Qi.

Because… Prince Qi’s heir had been commended by the Emperor.

So Noble Consort Lin and Prince Qi both became unimportant.

And as Prince Qi’s heir entered the court, the first person reprimanded by the Emperor was actually Prince Wei. He scolded him before the court ministers: “If you hadn’t failed to teach A’Yang properly, right now the Grand Imperial Grandson, A’Bai, and A’Yang could serve at court together—that would have been a fine tale.”

Yu Qingwu came back and told Lan Shanjun with a smile: “His Majesty should be planning to bring Prince Wei’s heir back to Luoyang.”

Lan Shanjun said mockingly: “Sometimes I really can’t understand what our Emperor is thinking.”

Yu Qingwu: “Glossing over everything to maintain an appearance of peace.”

But while he could gloss over palace matters, outside affairs were already difficult to resolve so easily. The life of Noble Consort Lin alone—the Emperor had the final say. But the lives of the common people throughout the realm—the Emperor’s word didn’t count.

At the beginning of the second month, all officials returned to their posts. Yu Qingwu, as Minister of the Court of Imperial Stud, just as Prince Wei had said, truly erupted in mad rage. He clamped down on Song Zhiwei and wouldn’t let go, spending half a month joining forces with the Imperial Censor to impeach him continuously.

At first it was quite proper—impeaching Song Zhiwei for acting perversely in the Ministry of War, playing with court affairs, showing no respect to the state or loyalty to the sovereign. Later it became improper, saying: “His private virtue is unrefined. He常ly favors widowers and prefers other men’s husbands.”

The Emperor nearly flew into a rage: The Grand Imperial Grandson’s faction had made too many moves in the past year—especially Yu Qingwu.

Prince Qi was already in such a state. The Emperor was very unwilling to weaken his influence further.

But Yu Qingwu’s attack on Song Zhiwei, and attacking so mercilessly, was somewhat subtle.

The Song family had originally been people the Emperor left for the Grand Imperial Grandson when Prince Qi and Prince Wei’s power grew too great, but the Grand Imperial Grandson hadn’t utilized them heavily.

Thus the Song family was somewhat awkward.

Duke Songguo said to Song Zhiwei: “We ultimately have entanglements with the Grand Imperial Grandson. Would His Majesty still be willing to use me as before?”

He regretted it greatly. At that time, he had truly felt the Emperor couldn’t possibly live another ten years, so he still wanted the merit of supporting the dragon.

But now in this situation, Prince Qi had been beaten to the point of helplessness without the Song family’s support. So the Grand Imperial Grandson didn’t value them at all, and things with His Majesty had also fractured.

He was worrying about how to repair the rift between the Emperor and the Song family when Yu Qingwu appeared.

The Emperor worried about the Song family’s relationship with the Grand Imperial Grandson. Now with Yu Qingwu making such a fuss, the Song family couldn’t possibly be of one mind with the Grand Imperial Grandson.

The Emperor was satisfied. Duke Songguo also thought it was good. Only Song Zhiwei’s face was deathly pale.

For the first time, he lost his temper, pounding the table and asking his father: “Why, when things have reached this point, does Father still remain unmoved?”

Duke Songguo advised: “By distancing ourselves from the Grand Imperial Grandson in this way, His Majesty can trust us and we can have a chance to turn things around.”

He patted Song Zhiwei’s shoulder. “You must prioritize the big picture and must not act impulsively.”

Song Zhiwei’s face was livid, but pressed down by Duke Songguo, he had no recourse.

Yu Qingwu bought two taels of pork and brought it home, asking Lan Shanjun to help identify it: “Is the meat from this shop fresh?”

Lan Shanjun glanced at it and nodded. “It’s the freshest you’ve bought. Buy from this shop from now on.”

Yu Qingwu nodded happily. “Alright.”

Lan Shanjun was about to go back when she heard him say again: “Today in court I angered Song Zhiwei to death again.”

He said craftily: “But no matter how angry I make him, he has no recourse. After all, he’s not Duke Songguo.”

Not being Duke Songguo, he had to yield to Duke Songguo.

He continued: “This Song Zhiwei—doesn’t he love power and position most? Doesn’t he not care about his private reputation?”

“When he loses step by step the status and position he was proud of, becoming someone everyone mocks as useless, then he’ll be able to appreciate how precious everything now is.”

He spoke with increasing vehemence: “I must make him taste this feeling.”

But Lan Shanjun finally realized that Yu Qingwu’s hatred for Song Zhiwei was truly somewhat extraordinary.

When she first told him she disliked Song Zhiwei, he hadn’t been so disgusted with this person.

People’s hatred of others always has a reason.

Lan Shanjun pondered carefully and discovered that it seemed after the Grand Imperial Grandson’s Consort’s case last year, Yu Qingwu had begun relentlessly pursuing Song Zhiwei. Even just speaking his name could reveal boundless hatred.

Suspicion gradually arose in her heart. She felt he was still hiding some major matter from her.