◎She always felt “he” was like a “close friend”◎

Lan Shanjun actually didn’t remember anyone named Su Xingzhou. For her, those events had passed over a decade ago. When the carriage passed by them, she lifted the curtain, but she was looking at Yu Qingwu.

She always harbored a peculiar sentiment toward Yu Qingwu. Perhaps it wasn’t toward him as a person, but rather toward the Yu Qingwu of Huailing who leapt vividly from the pages.

She always felt “he” was like a “close friend.”

She could probably guess that the house where she’d been imprisoned was Yu Qingwu’s. After he was sent to prison that year, his ancestral residence should have been confiscated. Such a residence belonging to a criminal official—at first, no one dared buy it to live in, so using it to confine a “criminal” like her was perfectly suitable.

Later, when her mind wasn’t clear, she would search the entire house for Yu Qingwu’s spirit to swear an oath, begging him to rescue her.

When begging a ghost, she exhausted all her pleasant words.

First, she promised that once she got out, she would definitely collect his corpse. Even if he was just a pile of white bones in a mass grave, she could find them, bury them, and erect a monument. She also praised him as innocent and upright in life, surely wrongly accused—if only he would save her, she would clear his name.

But when lucid again, she would hold his notes without saying a word, her teeth clenched tight.

She was actually quite afraid of ghosts. She feared there really were ghosts.

Lan Shanjun slowly exhaled and lowered the curtain, saying to Zhu Shi, “Mother, tell me about Luoyang’s aristocratic families? I’m afraid that at the banquet, I won’t understand anything and will embarrass the household.”

Zhu Shi held her hand. “Don’t worry. If you don’t understand, just ask Huihui.”

She smiled and said, “You and Huihui are blood sisters. In the future, you must support each other. Under heaven, there are no sisters closer than you and Huihui.”

She had originally planned to bring the Third Young Madam and Huihui along today, but just as they were about to leave, Huihui coughed a few times. Zhu Shi didn’t dare bring her, so she simply left the Third Young Madam behind to keep her company.

Lan Shanjun nodded. But in her previous life, Mother hadn’t let Huihui get too close to her. Later, after she married into the Song family, she rarely returned to Duke Zhenguo’s residence. By the time her rough edges had been smoothed and she was willing to return, Huihui had already married into the south and they never saw each other again.

When Zhu Shi spoke of Huihui, she began to worry, saying, “When we return, I must personally supervise her taking medicine. She always secretly pours some away!”

Once she started talking, she couldn’t stop. Mothers always remembered the most stories about their children’s antics. Lan Shanjun understood this, so she listened quietly. When Mother had said enough, she smiled and chimed in with a few agreeable comments, skillfully saying things about how obedient Huihui seemed.

Only then did she say, “If Mother isn’t tired, could you tell me about Luoyang’s aristocratic families?”

Zhu Shi nodded gently. “Among the various households now, those who rank highly before His Majesty include Duke Qingguo’s residence, Duke Songguo’s residence, Duke Qinguo’s residence, Marquis Boyuan’s residence, Marquis Wenyuan’s residence, Elder Yu’s family… and then there’s Elder Wu’s family.”

Her expression grew complicated. “But if you go back a dozen years or so, our family firmly surpassed them all.”

She still couldn’t bear this disparity.

Lan Shanjun hadn’t witnessed such glory, but she had witnessed the gradual decline of Duke Zhenguo’s residence. Over the next ten years, Duke Zhenguo’s residence would only get worse.

So when she was trapped in Huailing, she wondered: was it because the family’s power had waned that Mother and Duke Zhenguo’s residence, even knowing of her predicament, couldn’t rescue her? Or perhaps, when she went to Huailing, Duke Zhenguo’s residence had also been complicit?

But she couldn’t have such thoughts. Once they arose, resentment would grow. Once resentment grew, she would sink into baseless suspicion, hating heaven and earth, never to have peace again.

She struggled to calm her emotions and asked softly about other households’ affairs. When asking about the Song family, she said with apparent curiosity, “I heard Third Brother mention their family.”

The Third Young Master Lan hadn’t actually said anything. But he had a loose tongue, talked about everything, and had poor memory—he definitely wouldn’t remember clearly what he’d said or not. Using Third Young Master Lan as an excuse, Zhu Shi had no doubts and asked, “What did your third brother say about them?”

Lan Shanjun replied, “He mentioned the Song family’s eldest young master, Song Zhiwei.”

Zhu Shi laughed. “Song Zhiwei is two years older than your third brother—twenty this year. He’s a young talent, handsome too, already entered the court as an official, and is greatly favored by His Majesty. Your third brother envies him most. But your third brother has a rash mouth, so I imagine he didn’t say anything good about Song Zhiwei.”

She continued, “When your third brother got married, he secretly told me that the only way he could compare to Song Zhiwei now was having a wife first. As long as he could have a son first too, he’d count that as beating him once.”

She found this so amusing that she laughed continuously. Lan Shanjun laughed along with her. Then, still smiling, she asked, “When will that Young Master Song marry?”

Zhu Shi answered, “He hasn’t even discussed marriage yet. In all of Luoyang, he’s considered one of the very finest young men. He’s extremely particular—this family won’t do, that family won’t do. Who knows what sort of person he’ll end up choosing.”

Lan Shanjun asked, “Marry a princess? A commandery princess?”

During those days when she couldn’t see daylight, she constantly speculated about why she was imprisoned. Thinking day and night, she realized that for Song Zhiwei to do such a thing, there were only two possible reasons.

One: he wanted to take another wife. Two: she had offended someone.

Between the two, she leaned more toward the former.

She thought, if Song Zhiwei had a longtime lover of noble status, someone he’d been with all along but couldn’t officially be with, then her occupying that position while living well would have provoked someone’s hatred. Tormenting her like that would be possible.

But Zhu Shi shook her head. “His Majesty is of such an age that even his youngest princess is over thirty. As for commandery princesses… I haven’t heard of him being interested in any commandery princess.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Let’s not talk about him. He has nothing to do with us.”

Anyway, the Song family and the Lan family couldn’t establish any connection. She didn’t want to discuss this matter further. Fearing that Lan Shanjun might have some notions, she warned, “Shanjun, even if you encounter Song Zhiwei in the future, keep your distance. You absolutely must not entertain any other thoughts. Our two families—their standing doesn’t match ours now. A match would be impossible.”

Lan Shanjun responded affirmatively, “I understand.”

So at the very beginning, the husband she had eagerly sought with all her scheming wasn’t Song Zhiwei either.

Then how had she and Song Zhiwei become betrothed?

It should have been one day when she attended a flower-viewing banquet at Duke Qingguo’s residence. The young ladies were all composing poetry and couplets, but she was completely ignorant of such things, so she simply hid under the corridor watching birds flying in the sky.

Song Zhiwei emerged from somewhere and called out to her, “Lady Lan the Sixth.”

He said, “Does Lady the Sixth not enjoy viewing flowers?”

At that time, knowing who he was, she didn’t want to get entangled with him. She stepped back and replied properly, “Yes.”

She refused to say anything else.

He smiled slightly, said nothing more, and left.

Then she heard Mother say that the Song family had come to propose marriage, claiming that Song Zhiwei had fallen in love with her at first sight.

So she married over amid everyone’s envy. She thought she would live very well.

Loving husband and wife, supporting her husband and raising children.

But on their wedding night, his cold and indifferent expression made her realize he had no feelings for her whatsoever.

Then why did he marry her?

She didn’t know, but she felt she had never developed feelings for him either. Since it was marrying up, life could still be lived well.

After marriage, things were as she’d expected—the couple was harmonious with no disputes. After bearing him children, she even took in several concubines for him. But he was someone who didn’t care for romance, always staying in his study. The concubines even came crying to her.

So if one truly said he had some lover outside, she actually couldn’t be too certain—from morning to night, year-round, he was at the government office during the day and at home in the evenings. Everything was traceable. What kind of lover could he see only a few times throughout the entire year?

Thus, fearing she’d mistaken the path and would waste her efforts, she circled back to the original question—why did Song Zhiwei marry her?

After marriage, she’d actually asked him once. He smiled and said, “Madam cannot compose poetry or couplets—that suits my taste perfectly.”

She asked, “Just because of that?”

He nodded, paused, then added, “Madam’s knife skills are also very swift. I like that very much too.”

She believed him.

Her knife skills were indeed very swift.

But during those days trapped in Huailing, thinking it over repeatedly, she still felt he’d lied even about his reason for marrying her.

So she began racking her brains trying to deduce: what did she possess that was worth his scheming, enough to exchange for the position of future matriarch of Duke Songguo’s residence?

The power of Duke Zhenguo’s residence?

Clearly not.

Two years later, Duke Zhenguo’s residence had completely lost its voice with Fourth Uncle’s demotion. There was no need to wait eight more years before sending her away.

So she deduced bit by bit. Each time she could deduce countless reasons, then overthrow them, leaving her deeply lost in fog, unable to think clearly.

This was her most painful ordeal.

She wasn’t clever.

If she were clever, she could have known the truth from the slightest clues, given herself back her life early on, and let her hatred spread to a few more people.

But she wasn’t discouraged either. She could see her shortcomings clearly and also recognize her strengths. Her greatest strength was that although her abilities were mediocre, she possessed unwavering courage and ambition to forge ahead. As long as she wanted to accomplish something, no matter how difficult, she would see it through.

From pig butcher to Lady of Duke Songguo’s residence—calculating carefully over this lifetime, the only thing she hadn’t accomplished was staying alive.

Lan Shanjun let out a low sigh. Hearing it, Zhu Shi thought she was dejected by what she’d just said and quickly added, “We won’t aim that high, but we won’t aim low either. Shanjun, once you’ve learned the proper etiquette, I’ll take you to visit family after family. I will definitely find you a good husband.”

She gently smoothed the stray hairs at her daughter’s forehead, smiling. “With your appearance and temperament, many young men will surely like you.”

She said, “Don’t be anxious.”

Lan Shanjun nodded, looked at her, and smiled. “Alright, I won’t be anxious.”

Tomorrow’s sun would still rise as always, and the days ahead were still very long—she had used these words to comfort herself for a very, very long time.