“Are you an idiot?” She raised her volume again. “When can’t you expand that shop of yours? Why must you expand it when Chengcai is getting married?”

“Mom, be reasonable.” I said. “I decided to expand first. He decided to get married afterward.”

“What are you saying?!”

I frowned and held the phone away, trying to give my ears some peace.

I knew by heart what she was about to say next.

I was someone she and the old man raised with painstaking effort, spoonful by spoonful.

Originally it would have been easy to raise just me alone, but they had to work so hard to raise two people. Over these years, who knows how exhausted they’ve been.

In her narrative, if she hadn’t taken such meticulous care of me, I absolutely couldn’t have been admitted to Southwest University of Political Science and Law, nor could I have found such a good job.

But I clearly remember that when I graduated from junior high, I cried and begged to go to high school.

She didn’t agree.

She made me go out to work to earn tuition for that dead-last little brother of mine.

I also heard her and the old man discuss marrying me off at seventeen for a ten thousand yuan bride price to send Chengcai to study in the city.

If it weren’t for the teacher who came to teach in our village giving me tuition money so I could attend high school, I should be back in the mountain village by now—thirty-three years old with teenage children, my daily work centered on how to properly care for one pig and five chickens.

The teacher told me that if I wanted to change my life, I must go see the outside world.

She was the guiding star of my life.

“Do you know how much face you’ve made me lose?!” She continued shouting. “You’re already thirty-five years old! Thirty-five, do you know?! How many more years can you make money?!”

“Mom, I’m thirty-three.” I said.

“Over thirty and still not married! Your father and I have no face left!” She took a deep breath. “Who in the village is over thirty and not married? They all say you’re sick, do you know that?”

“That’s why I don’t want to stay in the village anymore, Mom.” I smiled bitterly. “I want to live a different life.”

“You don’t want to, but your brother wants to! She once again returned the topic to the main point. “You pay two hundred thousand yuan. Your brother will buy an apartment in the county town. From now on, you won’t have to pay any more money, understand?”

“I can’t pay it.” I reiterated my position once again. “Chengcai is already thirty-two years old and hasn’t even worked a single job. On what basis should he get married? Does he have the ability to plan for his own future?”

“On the basis of you!” She said. “Aren’t you a famous big boss in Chengdu?”

“Mom, I’m not a boss. I’m a lawyer.”

“You file lawsuits. You know how to sue people, so those bosses are afraid of you, right?” She continued instilling her thoughts into me. “You ask them for money. If they don’t give you money, you sue them, understand?”

This was truly laughable.

“Mom, this is not only illegal, but also unfair.” I said. “When is Chengcai getting married?”

“Next week, June 6th.” She said with curses. “Only one week left, hurry up!”

“Fine, I’ll definitely prepare a red envelope by then.”

“Red envelope?! You damn…”

I didn’t listen to her continue talking and hung up the phone directly.

Although I’ve been working hard for so many years, no matter when or where, as long as I receive a call from home, I will definitely fall into a state of collapse.

My family has never considered even the slightest bit for me.

In their eyes, I only have two purposes.

Either go back and get married, earn a bride price, then become a breeding machine and never contact them again. Or make money in Chengdu, send it back home, then become a money-making machine that never stops.

I took out a pack of Kuanzhai cigarettes from my bag and bit down on one expressionlessly.

I was truly tired right now.

Dealing with family was more exhausting than fighting lawsuits.

Just as I lit the cigarette, the door to the emergency stairwell was pushed open. Instinctively, I hid the cigarette behind me. After all, many people are full of malice toward women who smoke, and I wanted to avoid such trouble.

“Lawyer Zhang?” Little Sun stuck his head out and looked at me curiously.

Seeing it was Little Sun, I put the cigarette back in my mouth. “You startled me. What is it?”

“I saw you on the phone for a long time and was worried there might be a problem. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

Little Sun very naturally took the cigarette pack from my hand and pulled one out. “Lawyer Zhang, I haven’t seen you smoke in a long time. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head. “Family matters.”

After saying this, I paused and looked at his hand lighting the cigarette, then asked, “Didn’t you quit smoking?”

“Lawyer Zhang, I told you before—if you quit, I quit. If you smoke, I smoke.” He took a drag of the cigarette and slowly closed his eyes. “If we’re going to take care of our health, we do it together. If we’re going to ruin our health, we do it together.”

I sighed with both amusement and exasperation. “What kind of talk is that? You’re tying your body to mine—is that fair?”

“It’s fair.” Little Sun nodded. “Lawyer Zhang, no matter what I do, I just want to be with you.”

Little Sun had said similar things before, which made me feel somewhat uneasy, so my approach each time could only be not to respond.

Seeing I didn’t speak, Little Sun spoke again, though this time his tone was somewhat unnatural. “Lawyer Zhang, there’s no work tomorrow. I bought an extra ticket to Richie Ren’s concert. I heard you really like him. Want to go see it together?”

I took out my portable ashtray, collected the ash, then looked up and asked, “Little Sun, you just happen to have no work tomorrow, just happen to have bought tickets to Richie Ren, just happen to have bought two tickets, and he just happens to be a celebrity I like. What are you trying to do?”

“I…” Little Sun paused. His ears turned a bit red. After a long while, he finally said, “Lawyer Zhang, we’ve known each other for many years. I don’t want us to remain in a boss-and-subordinate relationship. I want to understand you better.”

Young men nowadays are truly bold. Even though I’ve seen so many trials and tribulations in the courtroom, I was still made to have a racing heartbeat by his words.

“But Lawyer Zhang… you’ve always kept yourself closed off. I’ve never been able to enter your heart.” Little Sun said somewhat nervously. “This lifetime is still very long. Should we… walk it together?”

I looked at Little Sun’s clear eyes, then silently lowered my head and stubbed the cigarette into the portable ashtray.

I don’t know why, but hearing such words made me feel exceptionally dejected.

I was like a bamboo basket full of holes, with no right to hold anyone’s tender affection.

“Little Sun, you… are twenty this year.”

“Yes, Lawyer Zhang. After my birthday, I’ll be twenty-seven years old.”

“I’m seven years older than you.” I said expressionlessly. “You’re young and promising, fully capable of finding a better partner. You’ll have a better life. If you tie yourself to me, one day you’ll discover I’m riddled with holes. Everything now is my disguise.”

The air grew somewhat quiet, with only the music from the distant wedding sounding muffled.

“I… I don’t care if you’re riddled with holes or completely shattered. I’m willing to use everything I have to help fill in your gaps.” Little Sun’s gaze gradually became resolute. “Lawyer Zhang, I like you—regardless of age, regardless of background, regardless of the past. What I like is this strong, hardworking, earnest, persistent you. Every word I’ve said has been considered for a long time. Now I’m just waiting for one answer from you.”