After hearing my words, Xiao Sun was clearly stunned.

“Sister Zhang… what, what are you planning to do?” he said somewhat dazedly. “Stop that train of thought right now! You can’t ruin your entire life for that scumbag!”

“Yes, I’m ruining my own life, but my life didn’t just start falling apart now,” I said to Xiao Sun with a face full of despair. “So you don’t need to be involved in this matter. I’ll handle it myself.”

“What?”

“I’m betting everything I have. Even if I have to pay a price for it, I’ll never regret it.”

I absolutely couldn’t let him go to prison.

I wanted him dead.

After hearing this, Xiao Sun remained silent for a long time before squeezing out a sentence from his throat: “Sister Zhang, I’ve told you before—no matter what you do, I want to be with you. If you live peacefully, then I too will live peacefully… If you take risks, then I will also…”

“Don’t be foolish!” I looked at him with some despair. “Don’t you understand? I’m a monster!!”

“Where are you a monster?!” Xiao Sun became somewhat anxious too. “You’re just someone who’s struggling! Sister Zhang, don’t blame yourself for everything that’s happened to you.”

“You don’t understand at all… I’m no longer who I used to be. I no longer deserve love in this lifetime. I’m an incredibly filthy woman!!”

Those nightmare-like images flashed through my mind, making my whole body dizzy.

“What nonsense are you talking?!” Xiao Sun widened his eyes and looked at me very seriously. “Sis, that man raped you—he should be the one who’s incredibly filthy, right?! He should be the one reviled by people, criticized by people, punished by law. Why should it be you? You’re just the victim! Are victims guilty?!”

Heh…

Yes, I was the victim.

But in this society, how many people would truly be willing to accept a woman who had been raped?

How many people would look at a raped woman without colored glasses?

What difference does it make whether I’m a victim or not?

This was my original sin as Zhang Laidi, and had nothing to do with anyone else.

Once this matter got out, my union with Xiao Sun would face countless strange looks from people. That wouldn’t be fair to him.

He was a young and promising, handsome, gentle and sunny lawyer, yet he ended up with a sinister and vicious, gloomy-natured old woman who had been raped.

Ridiculous, so ridiculous.

If I were a passerby, I would definitely look down on him too.

He was too good, too dazzling.

And what was I?

I was a fully matured monster with an ice-cold heart. Even if sunlight shone on me, it wouldn’t create any ripples.

“Sister Zhang, although I know it’s very inappropriate to say this now… I decided long ago that I want to accompany you through the rest of your life,” Xiao Sun said with tears in his eyes and a bitter smile. “If you make a dangerous decision, I… will also walk that path with you.”

“Even if I only have a very short time left in my life, you still want to be with me?” I asked coldly.

“Yes, if you want to kill someone, then I’ll accompany you,” he said. “We’ll be sentenced together, then leave this world together.”

I stared into Xiao Sun’s eyes for a long time, then slowly lowered my head. Why…

A sense of helplessness lingered all around me.

I wanted to personally kill that butcher surnamed Ma, but I couldn’t drag Xiao Sun down with me.

This matter had nothing to do with him. It wasn’t fair to him.

“Xiao Sun, could you please not interfere with me?” I asked. “You could never possibly understand my life, so how could you accompany me through it?”

“Sister Zhang, we’ve spent many years together. I understand you,” Xiao Sun said. “You just want to be treated as an ordinary person by others—that request really isn’t too high. No matter what unfair things you’ve encountered in the past, in the days ahead I’ll compensate you doubly, so that you, so that we, won’t leave this world with any regrets.”

I sat on the bed, curling up my body and burying my head in my knees.

Why was this happening?

Some people could unconditionally inflict all manner of malice upon me, yet others could be unconditionally good to me. What was this “balance” in this world…?

Heaven, did you want to torment me or save me?

Why did you build up a fortress of hope for me again and again, only to let it collapse again and again?

I couldn’t understand. I only knew I couldn’t drag Xiao Sun down. That wouldn’t be fair to him.

“I… won’t do it,” I shook my head and said. “I’m giving up. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Really?!” Xiao Sun looked at me with delight. “Sister Zhang, you’ve thought it through?”

“Mm…” I nodded with a bitter smile. “Let’s report it to the police.”

…

In the following days, I focused on recuperating, while Mengmeng handled all the big and small matters at the law firm, and Xiao Sun took full charge of the case prosecuting Butcher Ma.

Due to the solid evidence and egregious nature of the case, the police quickly took action. They broke into Butcher Ma’s home under cover of night and arrested him directly.

All those photos of me stored on his phone were also handed over to me to handle. I didn’t want to look at them again and could only suppress my nausea as I deleted them all.

Yes, if I was willing to take the legal route, everything would go this smoothly.

During these days, Xiao Sun busied himself running around for me, which made my heart ache a bit. When I offered to pay him attorney fees, he righteously refused.

He said he wasn’t handling a case—he was just helping a friend.

He truly was a very good person, and also the second beacon of light in my life.

Apart from Teacher Ning Wan’er, there wasn’t a single other person in this world who showed me kindness without expecting anything in return.

He understood all my feelings, took care of all my thoughts. He treated me as a unique person in this world.

This feeling was just too unreal.

I constantly doubted whether I could truly meet such a good person.

Two months later, I went to Xiao Sun’s home for the first time as his girlfriend and formally met his parents and younger sister.

No, I shouldn’t call him Xiao Sun anymore.

He was my boyfriend, Sun Jiaqi.

Jiaqi’s parents were no different from my impression of them. Upon learning I was his girlfriend, they very happily prepared a large table full of dishes. His younger sister also really liked me as her sister-in-law and kept pulling my arm to chat with me.

Watching her hold my hand, I felt somewhat uncomfortable. Even though so much time had passed, I still wasn’t used to people touching me.

Even if the other person was a sunny and cheerful girl, it wasn’t okay.

“Don’t keep holding onto Chenze…” Jiaqi thoughtfully helped me out. “If you hold onto sister-in-law, how can sister-in-law eat?”

“I don’t care~” his sister said coquettishly. “I finally have a sister-in-law! I’m going to tell sister-in-law all about brother’s embarrassing childhood stories!”

This kind of family atmosphere was simply like heaven.