HomeConcubine Daughter's Survival ManualChapter 119: Private Desires

Chapter 119: Private Desires

Seventh Miss froze completely.

After a long while, she couldn’t help but laugh bitterly.

“What nonsense are you saying?”

She also glanced toward the doorway.

The bead curtain hung quietly down. Faintly the crisp warbling of the lark could still be heard. Beyond that, no other sounds.

“Just inadvertently encountered it, somewhat embarrassing that’s all.” Only then did she speak dismissively. “If I really had to be single-mindedly determined to marry no one but him because of this, what kind of person would I become?”

But Ninth Brother’s tone was very stubborn.

“If he didn’t have that intention, I wouldn’t bring this up either…”

He half-knelt up, staring fixedly at Seventh Miss with burning eyes, his face written entirely with eagerness.

“Though Mother’s heart wants to match Fifth Sister to Elder Cousin, Fifth Sister’s thoughts aren’t on Elder Cousin at all. Single-mindedly, she only thinks of…”

“Shanjiu!” Seventh Miss’s tone grew heavier.

She quietly looked at the young man before her.

Suddenly a deep weariness surged from her heart.

Speaking of it, Ninth Brother as a younger brother was already smart enough, almost impeccable.

But after all he was born into great wealth and nobility. From childhood the grievances he’d suffered probably didn’t amount to one ten-thousandth of poor children’s.

The arrogance and assumptions common to wealthy family children—naturally he wouldn’t lack these either.

“Though these years others’ mouths no longer mention it, you and I must be clear in our hearts.” Her tone was calm. “Shanjiu, even with legitimate status, no one will forget from whose belly we siblings crawled out of… Spending some silver can turn black to white—where in the world is there such a good thing?”

“Even if others can forget, we two cannot forget in our hearts.”

Ninth Brother immediately froze.

His face full of high spirits slowly twisted into thoughtfulness.

Seventh Miss exhaled another cool breath, seemingly asking herself yet also asking Ninth Brother: “How could a concubine-born daughter be worthy of a Duke’s heir?”

Yes, how could a concubine-born daughter be worthy of a Duke’s heir?

Not to mention over the years Duke Pingguo had been loyal and devoted, always receiving the Emperor’s great trust. A few years ago achieving the great merit of expanding territory, he received frequent rewards and was immensely powerful…

Not to mention Xu Fengjia was accomplished at a young age. Not yet twenty years old, already earning fourth-rank merit through his own ability, on intimate terms with the Crown Prince. Visibly he would be the future Nation-Protecting Great General, Great Qin’s central pillar…

“Moreover, don’t you understand Mother’s temperament? The heir is the son-in-law she’s chosen for Fifth Sister over many years. How could she tolerate even the slightest variation? Don’t mention this matter again in the future.”

Though Seventh Miss’s voice was soft, her tone was extremely firm.

As if this one sentence already sealed the conclusion on the ambiguity between Xu Fengjia and herself.

Ninth Brother was immediately speechless.

He slowly knelt back down on the ground, his face profoundly serious.

After thinking with lowered head for a long time, he softly asked: “Even if it’s for my sake…”

“Shanjiu.” Seventh Miss frowned slightly.

Her meaning remained gentle.

Yet already carried some reproach within.

Ninth Brother’s face immediately flushed red. He lowered his head and said nothing more.

The room fell silent.

Seventh Miss gazed at the clouds outside the window. After a long time she sighed again.

“Who in this world can have their wishes fulfilled?” She softly prompted Ninth Brother. “I know in your heart regarding Fifth Sister’s marriage, you may not lack your own calculations. But Young Master Feng has had no news for two or three years. A girl’s youth cannot withstand waiting. Your calculations… probably can’t succeed.”

Ninth Brother shook with realization.

Looking at Seventh Miss with some shock, after a long while he smiled bitterly. “Sometimes I wish it were reversed—I the daughter, you the son. Seventh Sister, your thoughts are truly too deep.”

Though Fifth Miss’s feelings had never been stated clearly over the years, in the hearts of close younger siblings it was truly all known. Probably even Sixth Miss could figure out the clues.

Just constrained by a daughter’s dignity, no one had punctured this window paper.

No wonder Ninth Brother had schemed, thinking to use Fifth Miss’s little affection to make moves regarding her marriage.

If the Yang family married Fifth Miss to Feng Jin, naturally the two families’ relationship would grow closer and Ninth Brother would have more face.

It could also fulfill Fifth Miss’s devoted affection.

Looking at it, it seemed a mutually beneficial good thing.

Only this was after all Great Qin, ancient times.

Marriage relied on parents’ orders and matchmakers’ words. The parties sometimes couldn’t even voice opinions.

Younger generation’s little thoughts, no matter how intense, couldn’t reach the table, couldn’t become factors elders considered… Fifth Miss could refuse all families coming to propose, but couldn’t possibly say whom she wanted to marry.

Otherwise it would be dishonorable, shameless…

This was man-eating propriety!

But beneath the surface, though she herself had encountered Xu Fengjia, as long as possible witnesses could be properly handled, this matter could be treated as never having happened…

Seventh Miss suddenly felt very ironic.

Though according to a chaste daughter’s proper thoughts, at this moment she should be crying bitterly, urgently seeking death to demonstrate virtue… but of course she wasn’t brain-damaged to that degree.

Usually acting like a great family’s proper young lady was just following this era’s game rules.

Fundamentally, wasn’t it all to make herself live better?

When it really came to this, Ninth Brother also didn’t use propriety to make his case.

Just a fig leaf—pulled out as a banner when needed, discarded as if it never existed when unnecessary.

From outside came maids’ laughing voices.

After a while, Lixia smiled as she entered, changing hot tea for the master and young master.

“It’ll probably snow tonight!” Lixia’s face was full of longing.

Ninth Brother and Seventh Miss both looked toward the overcast sky simultaneously.

The south was warm. Winter rarely had snow, so when Lixia mentioned snow she was so yearning.

Outside the window the sky was gray-black. Unknowingly dark clouds had pressed very low, even giving the illusion of pressing against the eaves. Unknowingly fine ice needles and freezing rain had already begun floating down.

Ninth Brother watched entranced for a moment.

After a long while he instructed Lixia: “You may withdraw first.”

Lixia quickly withdrew from the room without a word.

Seventh Miss raised her brows looking at Ninth Brother.

“You think this way in your heart, but Elder Cousin may not think so.” Ninth Brother found it hard to speak. “He already had feelings for you… Now this has happened. I think he’s probably already written home asking Third Aunt to send a letter proposing marriage.”

That Seventh Miss herself didn’t care was her unconventional thinking.

That Great Master pretended not to know was his old man’s calculations.

But Xu Fengjia couldn’t act as if nothing happened and gloss over this matter. After all, speaking of it, Seventh Miss was his legitimate cousin, not some base woman from flower streets and willow lanes who could be casually trifled with.

“How can he be so old-fashioned!” Seventh Miss was so startled she immediately stood up, rarely losing her composure. “Didn’t you try to dissuade him?”

Her heart couldn’t help but grow vexed to the extreme.

Ninth Brother immediately showed a bitter expression.

“This… these words…” He stammered.

Seventh Miss glanced at Ninth Brother. In her heart she already understood.

Ninth Brother being Seventh Miss’s younger brother—with such a matter occurring, he absolutely had no reason to dissuade Xu Fengjia from proposing. Otherwise, even her brother didn’t respect his sister—where would Seventh Miss’s dignity be?

But the more she thought about it, the more vexed she grew, the more nauseated she felt.

“It’s not even a big matter!” She couldn’t help but complain to Ninth Brother. “Just saw one glance. The people present at the time also couldn’t possibly gossip everywhere.” She paced irritably around the room. “Can’t he just turn a blind eye and let it pass?”

Ninth Brother was silent as a cicada in winter.

Only after Seventh Miss dejectedly sat back on the beauty couch did he softly defend Xu Fengjia.

“Does Seventh Sister still not understand Elder Cousin’s feelings even now…”

Receiving another eye roll from Seventh Miss, he finally fell silent resentfully.

#

Two days later, Great Master again had Seventh Miss come serve in the outer side courtyard.

Coming to fetch her was still Nanny Tong.

Facing Nanny Tong, Seventh Miss always felt three parts uncomfortable.

Nanny Tong’s expression was also tightly drawn, no longer showing her usual smile.

The two walking one before the other in Baifang Garden attracted several young maids’ surprised gazes.

Seventh Miss could only find some idle talk to speak with Nanny Tong.

“This winter is especially cold… That snow a few days ago could actually be counted as medium snow. Previously in the Northwest, only in deep winter would there be such snow.”

Nanny Tong smiled. “Yes… Seventh Miss also came from the Northwest.”

Nanny Tong’s father was the late Great Master’s chief steward. She naturally also originated from the Northwest.

After responding this one sentence, actually no more words.

Seventh Miss was at first somewhat surprised.

Thinking again, in her heart she understood.

Since Great Master had dealt with those two lower servant women’s families, using such roundabout methods.

Naturally he didn’t want to make this matter big.

However, he certainly questioned this matter through Nanny Tong…

When Seventh Miss feared Nanny Tong’s loose lips spreading rumors everywhere, how could Nanny Tong not fear Seventh Miss deeply dreaded this matter leaking out and developed murderous intentions?

The two walking together naturally were incompatible.

Even forcing smiles and laughter couldn’t conceal mutual wariness and suspicion.

Seventh Miss suddenly felt very ironic.

Just now she’d lamented Great Master’s ruthlessness, casually dispatching over ten people to the estate.

Yet here she was already involuntarily speculating.

Nanny Tong was literate, so even muting drugs couldn’t seal her mouth. To truly cover up the secret, it could only be…

No wonder she was so frightened.

She laughed bitterly again.

Always shouting about killing—truly too clumsy. She truly lacked this ability, this intention.

“Nanny Tong.” She made conversation with Nanny Tong.

Nanny Tong’s shoulders visibly trembled. For a while she didn’t respond.

Seventh Miss had much on her mind, not immediately thinking about Nanny Tong.

But Nanny Tong didn’t have so many thoughts. Presumably she’d already thoroughly considered Seventh Miss’s possible reactions.

Only humans were fish on the chopping board… Even if Seventh Miss harbored murderous intentions, what could she do?

She could only be cautious and defensive, fearing to provoke Seventh Miss’s apprehensions.

“I heard this round of hiring—Nanny Tong’s daughter will also enter the inner courtyard to serve?” After thinking it over, Seventh Miss simply chatted family matters with Nanny Tong.

But Nanny Tong’s whole body shook.

She couldn’t help but turn to look at Seventh Miss.

Seventh Miss smiled slightly, also looking at her.

“…Yes, originally wanted to place her in Madam’s room…” Nanny Tong stammered.

Seventh Miss didn’t speak.

“However, hearing Seventh Miss’s meaning, seems your room has a head maid vacancy…” Nanny Tong also checked Seventh Miss’s expression.

Still perceptive enough, knowing to climb up the pole.

“Yes, Sister Bailu is being released to marry this year.” Seventh Miss then followed Nanny Tong’s words. “Yuyu Pavilion also has one person’s vacancy.”

With Seventh Miss’s status, even just a third-rank maid wouldn’t be shortchanging the Tong family’s young lady.

Unless Nanny Tong’s eyes were on Jidi Residence would she find Yuyu Pavilion too small to hold a great Buddha.

The two exchanged another glance.

Nanny Tong immediately relaxed.

Exhaling a long breath.

“Dani is still young. This servant is busy with residence matters and rarely has time to teach.” She was modest. “Arriving at Yuyu Pavilion, please have the sisters watch over her more. Whatever she does wrong, Seventh Miss just punish her!”

Inside and outside her words already revealed the meaning of entrusting Dani to Seventh Miss.

Seventh Miss also smiled. “Nanny Tong jokes. You’re an old-timer of several generations. Your dignity in the residence—how can ordinary servants compare? When Dani arrives at Yuyu Pavilion, naturally I’ll watch over her well!”

Nanny Tong’s face showed smiles again. She intimately performed a half-bow to Seventh Miss. “Being blessed to enter Yuyu Pavilion to serve—Dani accumulated virtue in her past life! Everyone in the residence knows Seventh Miss is extremely benevolent to servants, never raising voice or temper…”

The two laughingly left the main courtyard, entering the corridor leading to the outer main courtyard.

Seeing no one around, Seventh Miss quietly asked Nanny Tong: “How has Father’s mood been these days?”

This was circuitously inquiring about Great Master’s reaction to this matter.

Though the two words “propriety” were always just fig leaves in scheming people’s hands.

But Great Master was after all a traditional scholar-official. How much weight he placed on the two words “reputation” in his heart—that was unclear.

He could dispose of two lower servant women. Perhaps he could use similar methods to dispose of Seventh Miss.

Nanny Tong looked at Seventh Miss.

She smiled slightly.

Her demeanor already showed much greater intimacy.

Often when shared secrets were no longer dangerous, they instead drew two people closer.

“Please set your mind at ease.” She vaguely comforted Seventh Miss. “I’ve attended Master for over thirty years… In these thirty-plus years, what great winds and waves hasn’t Master seen? Some small matters absolutely won’t anger him…”

Seventh Miss finally felt somewhat reassured.

The outer side courtyard was already in sight.

Nanny Tong quickened her steps, slightly bending her body ahead to lead Seventh Miss into the courtyard.

Seventh Miss’s heartbeat gradually quickened: Though not her intention, doing wrong was doing wrong…

Now was time to see the parent.

She took a deep breath, showed a slight smile, and under Nanny Tong’s guidance walked into the small study.

#

Great Master seemed to have just risen from an afternoon nap. Nanny Tong didn’t bring Seventh Miss to the east inner room where he daily handled government affairs, but instead led her into the west inner room where Great Master usually lived.

Indeed she saw Great Master half-reclining on the kang by the window. Twelfth Aunt was lowering her brows and eyes, kneeling beside the kang pounding his legs.

Seeing Seventh Miss enter, Shuxia smiled at her brilliantly, rose and performed a bow to Great Master, then silently withdrew.

Nanny Tong naturally had also long since left the room.

Only father and daughter remained inside.

“Father.” Seventh Miss forcefully suppressed her trepidation and acted as if nothing had happened while performing courtesy to Great Master.

“Sit.” Great Master also raised his eyes to examine Seventh Miss.

Casually he pointed to the end of the kang.

Great Master came from the Northwest and over the years was accustomed to sleeping on kangs. More than half the year he slept in the outer side courtyard’s small study, particularly fond of the specially built earth kang in the small study.

Seventh Miss only dared to shallowly perch half her bottom on the kang’s edge, lowering her eyes to watch her skirt hem, occasionally timidly lifting her eyelids to steal a glance at Great Master.

Looking entirely pitiable awaiting instruction.

Great Master couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What are great household female relatives doing putting on this wronged pitiable appearance?” He picked up the Chu kiln sky-blue cup from the kang table and slowly sipped tea. “Those who don’t know would think you’re a little daughter-in-law accustomed to suffering grievances.”

The teasing in his words—Seventh Miss naturally wouldn’t miss it.

She breathed another sigh of relief.

Great Master truly was accustomed to great winds and waves.

“Your daughter…” She softly admitted fault. “It’s your daughter who was petty.”

She raised her head openly accepting Great Master’s inspection.

Great Master looked at Seventh Miss’s face, inwardly sighing.

If only Seventh Miss were a proper legitimate daughter, how good that would be!

“The matter of my dispatching those two families to the estate—presumably you already know.” He lowered his eyes, gazing at the teacup in his hand.

The exquisite sky-blue cloud pattern was set off by the tea’s mist appearing moist as if about to drip, seeming shrouded in a faint layer of fog.

“Yes.” Seventh Miss showed not a trace of hesitation.

This household was the Governor’s residence, Great Master’s territory. If he truly investigated carefully, what couldn’t Great Master know?

These two families’ fate was probably deliberately leaked to Ninth Brother by him, relayed to herself through Ninth Brother’s mouth.

Great Master nodded with satisfaction.

Talking with intelligent people was always much more efficient.

“Nanny Tong is an old person by my side. So many years, loyal and devoted… I can trust her.” He changed topics again, looking intently at Seventh Miss. “However, between you and her there isn’t much friendship. You tell me—in your heart, how do you want to handle her?”

Seventh Miss’s pupils contracted.

She couldn’t quite fathom Great Master’s intention.

After a long while, she carefully answered: “Your daughter… plans to bring Nanny Tong’s eldest daughter into Yuyu Pavilion, just filling the vacancy after Sister Bailu leaves.”

Great Master was somewhat surprised. “Oh?”

After pondering a moment, he asked again: “I remember you mentioned before that a maid in your courtyard needs marriage arrangements, right?”

“Yes.” Seventh Miss was baffled.

Why was Great Master asking so meticulously?

She had indeed mentioned Yuyu Pavilion’s personnel would change. It was remarkable that amidst managing myriad affairs daily, he still minded such trivial matters.

Great Master pondered again.

Looking at Seventh Miss, his gaze gradually differed.

After a long time he sighed. “Little Seven, how is that head of yours made? If you were a boy, I’d have nothing to worry about!”

Not waiting for Seventh Miss to respond, he sighed with a smile. “Might as well not marry out! Just stay by Father’s side as Father’s clever strategist!”

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