She walked along with a smile, though she knew full well that this smile was mostly false and probably couldn’t serve to conceal anything. But this smile was the last bit of pride she had left.

As soon as Seventh Miss entered the room, she heard the laughter of Lixia and the other maids.

These past days, the atmosphere in the residence had been oppressive. The maids didn’t dare move about loudly, and only after the hundred-day mourning period had passed did they dare relax slightly and laugh softly.

“Relatives may still grieve while others have already begun to sing”—this was naturally normal.

Yet Seventh Miss felt irritation rising from deep within her heart. Without greeting anyone, she went straight into the inner room, casually closed the door behind her, and fastened the small copper lock that was usually installed but never used.

As the crisp sound of the latch falling into place rang out, her tears fell in response.

Since returning to Suzhou, Seventh Miss had never shed tears for herself in such weakness.

She had never before faced a true dead end.

In the past, when Second Madam plotted against Ninth Brother—first with poison, then with slander—when the siblings appeared safe on the surface but were actually caught in towering waves, Seventh Miss had never cried.

She believed she would always be able to wait for an opportunity to eliminate this mortal threat. She knew that as long as she was alive, there were infinite possibilities.

Even when Xu Fengjia wanted to marry her regardless of everything and she steeled her heart to refuse him, Seventh Miss had never shed such torrential tears. Though she was sad, that sadness was merely a form of mourning, not the despair of having no path to heaven above or earth below.

But now, she was in despair.

By parental command and matchmaker’s word—the Grand Master and Grand Madam had reached agreement on her marriage for the first time. Those false promises from before—”If Little Seven doesn’t nod, Mother won’t agree”—had surely been cast aside by the Grand Madam by now.

Yes, when it didn’t involve her two biological daughters, perhaps the Grand Madam still had leisure to play the role of loving mother to the concubine-born daughters. After years together, perhaps she did have some genuine affection for Seventh Miss. When she said the marriage would be Seventh Miss’s own decision, Seventh Miss believed she had been somewhat sincere.

But how much of that sincerity remained after being washed away by Fifth Miss’s death? Compared to Second Miss and Fifth Miss, all the concubine-born daughters were just chess pieces in the Grand Madam’s hands, to be placed wherever she wished—no room for the word “no”!

She could no longer find any chance of survival. In this situation, she saw no way out at all!

The child wasn’t even a full month old when the birth mother died. Xu Fengjia was still so young. The ducal residence needed a mistress. He might not remarry after one year, but what about after five years? Ten years?

The child was still small after all. If a second wife came through the door, how could she not have thoughts?

If the Grand Madam didn’t send her over, there was no second candidate to be found. She definitely wouldn’t relent!

The Grand Master’s only concern was not falling out with the Xu family. The promise the Xu family made could both guarantee the grandson’s inheritance rights and ease the relationship between the two families. If he were to go back on his word, he wouldn’t be Grand Secretary Yang, nor could he sit in the position of Grand Secretary!

Unless she used force to overcome finesse, asking Feng Jin to intervene and use external force to destroy the marriage agreement between the two families…

Seventh Miss bit her lower lip hard and shook her head forcefully.

Cousin Zixiu had never been in the capital, his whereabouts a mystery. Though she certainly had ways to send out a letter to contact Feng Jin, did she have the face to ask Feng Jin to abandon his official duties and rush back to the capital just to resolve her marriage matter?

Moreover, though Feng Jin enjoyed imperial favor, to have him single-handedly challenge two families and simultaneously offend both civil and military officials—she couldn’t bring herself to ask!

As for helpers as insubstantial as Eunuch Lian, she hadn’t even considered him. The Xu family and Yang family might not dare offend Eunuch Lian, but they were absolutely not small… [families] he could manipulate at will.

Those words just now were merely spoken in anger, to dampen the Grand Master’s spirits and make the smile on his face fade a little.

In the end, her thinking had been too shallow!

That day at Pingguo Ducal Residence was the first time in years that Seventh Miss had miscalculated. Shocked by Fifth Miss’s death, she hadn’t thought in the first moment that the candidate for second wife would very likely be herself.

She knew she felt somewhat guilty. Though marrying into the Xu family had been Fifth Miss’s own choice, she had nevertheless fanned the flames during it. “I didn’t kill Boren, but Boren died because of me”… This guilt made no sense, but it was the hardest to avoid.

It was this one time when she cast aside calculation and self-preservation that she forced herself into this current predicament.

If she hadn’t stepped forward then to point out the suspicious circumstances of Fifth Miss’s death, given the Grand Madam’s grief, she might not have realized something was wrong. This matter might have been glossed over. Even if the Grand Madam was willing to marry her into the Xu family, the Grand Master wouldn’t have agreed. After all, the Xu family had that pair of twins and that original wife née Yang, which was already enough to ensure closer kinship ties between the two families.

But she herself had destroyed her own path with her own hands. She hadn’t expected it. She was shaken by Fifth Miss’s death, and in that moment, what she thought was that she couldn’t fail Fifth Miss’s deathbed request. Once Fifth Miss’s death was placed under investigation in broad daylight, everything was finished.

For political gain, what wouldn’t the Grand Master do? The Grand Madam’s heart was entirely on Fifth Miss—how could she spare attention for her? No one thought to grant her even a bit of free will. When the Grand Master spoke those words, Seventh Miss knew she was finished.

She couldn’t find any chance of survival. The entire situation was dead. The whole game was beyond salvaging.

Since refusing Xu Fengjia, she had never imagined becoming husband and wife with him.

Even Fifth Miss couldn’t control the situation, falling victim to bullying in the first year. As a pseudo-legitimate daughter facing the Xu family’s wolf-like and tiger-like sisters-in-law and relatives, what chance did she have? Over the next decade or more, how much scheming would she need to control the situation and establish a foothold in the Xu family?

Not to mention that Xu Fengjia’s temperament was proud and aloof. After she harshly rejected him, his love likely turned to hate—he probably already hated her to the bone. To marry such a husband and live in a place countless times more treacherous than the Yang family—could such days hold even a bit of joy?

Since transmigrating, even in her most destitute and desperate moments, she had never abandoned her fighting spirit. For survival, she had lost too much. Some things she actively abandoned, some she had no choice but to give up. She lost her childhood—twice. She lost her innocence, her enthusiasm, her goodwill. She became a cold and cautious person who had to think three times before every step, someone even she didn’t like enough. But she had never abandoned her fighting spirit, her hope. She believed deeply—she forced herself to believe deeply—that one day she could leave Baifang Garden, leave the Yang family, enter a simpler rear courtyard, marry a husband who had some affection for her, and begin a life that wasn’t so beyond her control.

The Quan family, the Gui family… she wasn’t picky. Whether Quan Zhongbai and Gui Hanchun had other women in their hearts, she didn’t care either. What she wanted was just a period of somewhat autonomous days. Who the male lead was didn’t matter much.

By that time, those things she had been forced to abandon, those pleasures of life, the leisure of watching autumn moon and spring wind, the mood of leaning on a railing to listen to autumn rain—she could gradually retrieve them. She could live anew, no longer merely surviving.

Without this belief, how could she have endured in the Yang family?

All these years, she had hidden all emotions deep in her heart. She dared not hate, dared not love, all to avoid blocking the Grand Madam’s path, living in degradation under her oppression!

No one knew better than herself that her so-called dignity was merely a false and sweet bubble given to her by the Grand Madam, a casual reward for her years of careful management. As long as the Grand Madam perceived even a hint of threat from her—whether regarding the mystery of her birth mother’s death, the inside story of Second Madam’s downfall, or those entanglements before Xu Fengjia’s marriage proposal—if even a bit of these secrets leaked out, it would be enough for her to lose everything in an instant. In the inner quarters, the main wife was heaven. No matter how muddled the Grand Madam was, she wasn’t someone an unmarried concubine-born daughter could oppose.

So for years she had been extremely careful. She had almost severed all desires, seeking only survival. What she hoped for was nothing more than successfully leaving the Yang family, leaving this coffin covered in brocade, and she no longer cared where she went.

Even this last small luxury, the Yang family wanted to take away.

Life had forced her to a dead end, not even sparing the last bit of hope she could keep.

Seventh Miss suddenly raised her head and carefully wiped the tears from her face. She picked up the sweet white porcelain cup with recessed rim that she habitually used, hesitated for a moment, then forcefully smashed it to the ground.

A crisp shattering sound rang out. The cup broke into several pieces. She crouched down and carefully found the largest and sharpest piece, measured it against her wrist again and again, then tried scratching the tabletop with it. Sure enough, the exquisite cloth had been cut open.

Against the Grand Master’s coercion, she had no ability to resist at all. Every method of resistance would drag the few people she still cared about in this world into this awkward situation, making them face harsh reality and oppose an official family with deep roots.

If living had no dignity, she could at least choose to die with dignity.

No matter how capable the Grand Master was, could he resurrect the dead and marry them into the Xu family?

Seventh Miss bit her lip hard, her eyes turning cold. She slowly placed the porcelain shard on her vein.

Her will to die was set. She need only make this one cut, then hold on a bit, and she could find release.

Yet she put down the shard again.

Ninth Brother…

In this world, the only one she couldn’t let go of was Ninth Brother.

On her deathbed, what Ninth Aunt couldn’t let go of most was Ninth Brother. For many years, the two siblings had depended on each other. Now though she was about to die, she still needed to give Ninth Brother an explanation. At least she needed to create a complete cause of death, so Ninth Brother wouldn’t be unable to face their parents, wouldn’t think wildly, and wouldn’t have his life destroyed by hatred.

Let those matters follow her in death!

She carefully pressed her eye sockets and looked in the dressing table mirror, seeing that her eyes were only slightly red and otherwise fine. Relieved, she opened the door and immediately ran into Lixia.

“I was just wondering what was wrong with Miss, locking herself in the room…” Lixia, completely oblivious, still spoke cheerfully.

Seventh Miss smiled slightly and said softly, “I was thinking about matters—come, grind me a pool of ink and bring it in, then close the door… I want to write a letter to Cousin Zixiu.”

Lixia immediately understood, lowered her head without a word, and withdrew from the east inner room. Seventh Miss sat dazedly at the table, chin in hand, gazing at this small and refined room.

Her hands gradually began to tremble.

Her thoughts suddenly turned to her previous life.

Two years after graduation, she had saved up a small sum of money and bought a small apartment in a remote corner of the city. On the day of the property handover, she went to a class reunion. At the gathering, she was silent as always, but deep down she was truly happy, so she drank a few more cups.

On the way home that night, perhaps because of that alcohol, she didn’t see the large truck roaring around the corner at dawn.

Death came almost instantly. In that moment of struggle before dying, how much regret and remorse did she feel? How much she wanted another chance, to be given one more opportunity. Even if she were placed in desperate straits, as long as she had life, she would be willing to live.

How joyful was she when she transmigrated into that four-year-old girl’s body? She was cautious and composed, gradually integrating into local life, depending on Ninth Aunt for survival, living under her care. At that time, apparently this was enough for her.

She still remembered that night when she suddenly developed a high fever. Ninth Aunt wanted to go into the city to invite a physician for examination, but Nanny Kui, who watched over them, kept a stern face—she wouldn’t summon a physician and wouldn’t permit Ninth Aunt to leave.

That woman was another confidant of the Grand Madam. In terms of favor, she exceeded even Nanny Wang, yet she was assigned to the northwest to watch over the mother and daughter. Her heart was full of resentment, so naturally she treated them poorly.

She lay on the heated bed in a daze, watching Ninth Aunt kneel on the ground and bow to Nanny Kui, begging her to show mercy and let her go out to find someone for consultation.

The helplessness and anger in her heart at that time left too many marks. That night, the torment she endured was greater than many destitute days in her previous life. Only then did she know what it tasted like to watch someone she cared about humble themselves for her sake.

That night, Nanny Kui finally relented. Ninth Aunt walked two li of night road on her own two feet, invited a physician back to prescribe medicine, and she slowly recovered.

“When I grow up, I’ll trample everyone who was bad to you into the mud,” that night, as she drank her medicine, she promised Ninth Aunt intermittently. “Whoever made you become like this today… I’ll make her taste what it’s like to live this way too!”

But Ninth Aunt was very panicked and immediately covered her mouth.

“Don’t say such things!” She seemed to accept her young daughter’s sudden precocity without much doubt, perhaps because life was too difficult. When her daughter was no longer a burden and could even provide limited help, Ninth Aunt was grateful. “If you can safely grow up, marry, and have children, that’s best. Don’t even think about revenge!”

Unable to withstand her pestering, Ninth Aunt finally relented.

“Fine, revenge, revenge.” There was a helpless smile on her lips. “After you’re married, after Aunt’s first grandchild is born, then you can talk about revenge—not before.”

“My life has been bitter, with only you and Ninth Brother as my bloodline. If you can safely grow up, marry, and have children, living peacefully and steadily, that’s much more meaningful than the two words ‘revenge.'” Ninth Aunt’s tone was so gentle.

Such a bitter woman, who had endured endless hardships over the years, dragging her broken and diseased body through the northwest with a small daughter struggling to survive—such a weak woman in such humble and bitter circumstances had never thought of suicide, and still had infinite hope for life. She still used the limited resources in her hands to seek out the relatively best future for her daughter.

What face did she have to think about the two words “suicide”?

Just to think of it was blasphemy against Ninth Aunt!

That night when Ninth Aunt knelt to Nanny Kui, the weight her life carried was no longer just one person’s. If someone, to ensure her life could continue, was willing to cast aside their own dignity, then whether she lived or died was no longer just her own matter.

After hesitating again and again, Seventh Miss finally raised her hand and viciously slapped herself.

The piercing pain immediately made her somewhat more clearheaded.

Opportunities must be waited for.

Even if there was no room for negotiation, even if she had to marry into the Xu family, it didn’t mean that in the Xu family she would have to repeat Fifth Miss’s mistakes, cautiously reading people’s expressions to get by.

What kind of life she wanted would be met with what kind of circumstances. Though fate might not be under her control, her state of mind was her own domain.

The words Sixth Miss said before entering the palace rang in Seventh Miss’s ears again.

Yes, what is life like anywhere one goes? With the entire Yang family as backing, she might not be unable to establish a foothold in Pingguo Ducal Residence. As long as she was willing to live, she could still live on!

Could she destroy the last bit of Ninth Aunt’s expectation and make her dying wish void? If even Ninth Aunt could endure life’s grinding, why couldn’t she?!

Hadn’t she sworn to herself that she would retrieve for Ninth Aunt, one by one, the things life had taken from her? All these years, she had wholeheartedly fabricated a concubine-born daughter who knew how to read expressions and advance and retreat appropriately, receiving such enthusiastic response. Had she therefore forgotten that her life was no longer under her own control, that in the deep mansion’s great courtyard, she had a reason she must live?

Survival had always been cruel. Even when wrapped in the outer garment of flowers and brocade, it was still not an easy proposition. But it was precisely this proposition that least tolerated people shrinking back in fear of difficulty. Even if she was changed by it, even if she herself didn’t like seeing this change, she still had to force herself to adapt to its transformation.

This problem wasn’t simple, yet it was absolutely fair. Most of those who couldn’t answer it well were, like Ninth Aunt and Fifth Miss, already buried deep underground.

Seventh Miss closed her eyes again.

After quite a while, she finally let out a deep, long breath.

As if wanting to exhale all resentment and helplessness in this one breath, she crouched on the ground and slowly picked up the snowflake-like porcelain shards, piece by piece.

Her hands still trembled at first, getting cut in several places, but gradually they became increasingly steady.

After Fifth Miss’s death, the Grand Master, Grand Madam, and Pingguo Ducal Residence all had mutual concerns about each other from three directions. Though the Xu family certainly feared the Yang family would completely fall out with them, bringing about estrangement from the Sun family, the Yang family equally feared losing such an arm as the Xu family. The three parties wanted different things but couldn’t completely break with each other. Her marriage was undoubtedly the result of coordinated interests.

After marrying into the Xu family, she would naturally use the delicate relationship among these three parties to seek benefits for herself.

After transmigrating, the promises she had made, though not many, were definitely not few.

She had promised Lichun, Bailu, Lidong, and other maids that she would help with their marriages in exchange for their loyal service.

She had also promised Lixia that when she succeeded, the chickens and dogs around her would naturally ascend to heaven. If she had a day when she made it, she would look after the Zhou family’s old and young.

She never lightly promised anyone anything, but once she agreed, she would never go back on it.

She had also promised Fifth Miss on her deathbed that she would find the murderer and remove this lurking enemy for Fourth Young Master and Fifth Young Master. At that time, she hadn’t thought that once Fifth Miss was gone, the candidate for second wife would very likely be herself, so she chose the most aggressive path to fulfill this promise.

Seventh Miss shook her head and stopped thinking about it.

Now that she was to take charge of Mingde Hall and become the young mistress of the marquisate, naturally this path of pursuing the murderer must continue.

There were many things best thought through now in terms of how to handle them, so she could grasp the situation in the Xu family in the shortest time and establish a firm foothold.

Ninth Aunt back then probably never imagined that her daughter would have a child immediately upon marriage. Though giving birth might already be an extravagant hope, the matter of marrying and having children was no longer difficult for Seventh Miss. Her honor would even be higher than Ninth Aunt could have imagined.

Seventh Miss couldn’t help but smile. She stood up, took out an exquisite mother-of-pearl inlaid small box, put all the evidence of her broken rationality inside, and stored it away properly.

When Lixia brought in the writing implements, Seventh Miss had completely collected her thoughts.

Though her face was still tightly drawn, her eyes were no longer two frightened little pools, but had again become two brimming pools of autumn water.

“Let’s go.” She stood up and beckoned to Lixia. “We’ll go to the front courtyard to pay respects to Madam.”

For a moment, Lixia was quite startled.

She carefully examined Seventh Miss, looking at her reddened eye sockets, then glanced at the broken porcelain on the floor. She lowered her head thoughtfully and followed behind Seventh Miss without a word.

Seventh Miss cultivated her emotions all along the way.

Upon entering the main courtyard, she viciously pinched her new wound.

The pain immediately made moisture well up in her dry eyes. Seventh Miss then began sobbing intermittently.

Anyone whose eyes weren’t blind could see the grievance and anger in this weeping.

The Grand Madam had been in a daze, the expression on her face alternating between bright and dark.

Seeing Seventh Miss’s performance, she instead seemed relieved. She stood up, embraced Seventh Miss, and began crying loudly.

“Mother has no choice either! Mother has no choice either!”

These six words were each written in blood.

The mother and daughter thus wept in each other’s arms.

Seventh Miss secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

After all these years, she had finally learned to act.

Even though it was the Grand Madam herself who personally decided to send Seventh Miss to the Xu family, if Seventh Miss accepted too calmly, she would inevitably become suspicious again, suspecting Seventh Miss coveted wealth and had always wanted to marry into the Xu family.

She slightly raised her eyes and imperceptibly assessed this aged and haggard legitimate mother, watching her grief that seized the occasion, and revealed a mocking smile.

The Grand Madam’s performance wasn’t too bad either.

The Grand Madam seemed to sense something wrong. She raised her head and grabbed Seventh Miss’s hand, her face still streaming with tears.

“Mother is also helpless!” Her explanation was intermittent. “If the murderer can’t be found, what will happen to your Fifth Sister’s pair of flesh and blood, what will happen! Little Seven, don’t blame Mother… Mother has no choice either!”

Seventh Miss let out a slight breath.

She immediately suppressed all inappropriate emotions completely, leaving no trace. She revealed the unwilling side of herself, the fragile side, half-true and half-false.

“In Mother’s heart… there’s only Fifth Sister…” she sobbed slightly.

The Grand Madam cried while pouring out her grievances, “Mother truly has no way at all…”

To pacify the Grand Madam had never been difficult. She really understood this contradictory noblewoman too well. With a blink of her eye, she could think of countless ways to comfort her.

The one who was truly difficult to please was the Grand Master.