Yu Tuan’er listened quietly with wide eyes as Xue Tao wept, “I was afraid of him crying. From childhood he had always been strong and proud. When he cried, my heart felt like it would shatter… When he cried I would soften, and I wouldn’t dare to go on hunger strikes or kill myself… Later… later…” She let out a long breath, her gaze gradually becoming calm, “Later he would hold me and cry, and I would hold him and cry too. He said he wanted to kill me, and also said he wanted to kill eldest cousin, but eldest cousin was already dead. Yet he felt great hatred in his heart. He hated this martial world for causing eldest cousin’s death, so he wanted to destroy everyone in the martial world one by one… He also said he wanted to war with the Liao Kingdom, said he wanted to enter court as an official, said he looked down on everyone in the world except me, said he thought himself a genius… I believed everything he told me was sincere, yet I only said one thing… Every day I asked him why Zhu Yan wouldn’t come save me. He said he would never come save me, that he would never let him come save me…”

Yu Tuan’er’s eyes began filling with tears. Xue Tao looked at her in a daze, “Why are you crying?”

Yu Tuan’er wiped her tears, pointing at Wanyu Yuedan, choking up, “He’s crying too – it’s not just me who wants to cry.”

Xue Tao looked at Wanyu Yuedan. There was a clear tear in his eyes, not knowing what he was thinking of as he sighed softly.

Xue Tao looked toward Lin Bu. Lin Bu’s expression was also very sorrowful. She instead smiled faintly, “Later one day, he released me, but I could no longer walk. My cousin was in more pain than me. He wished he could attach his own feet to my body, but of course before proving he could attach them to me, he had to test whether it would work. So he captured many, many young beautiful women, cut off their hands and feet, intending to install them on my body. I caused the deaths of countless people. From then on I hated him even more. I didn’t care whether my hands and feet would get better, and no longer cared whether Zhu Yan would come save me. I just didn’t want to see him, thinking it would be better to just die like this.”

Yu Tuan’er grasped her hand, “You’re so pitiful.”

Xue Tao said in a low voice, “Those innocently dead women were more pitiful. What’s pitiful about me? I committed sins and caused the deaths of many people. My illness got worse and worse, my hands and feet kept shaking. My cousin, forced into desperation, severed all my hand and foot tendons. I had wanted to die anyway, so whether the tendons were cut didn’t matter, but he tortured himself daily. One day, someone came to the manor. I never saw his face, but he gave me a medicine. After taking it, my hands and feet gradually gained strength, and bit by bit I could stand up. My cousin was overjoyed, but my heart was dead as ashes. I no longer thought Zhu Yan would come save me. My heart and mind were full of thoughts about my cousin… I hated him for harming me, hated his endless evildoing, but I also feared he would fail, feared he would die… I was no longer the person I used to be…” She said numbly, “So I wanted to escape from his side. I was afraid that one day I would willingly stay.”

“So you escaped through the water dungeon passage?” Yu Tuan’er looked at her in amazement. This thin, small woman actually had such great willpower and courage to escape from a place like Wangting Manor.

Xue Tao said in a low voice, “He caught me back. He was very angry, hit me, and injured my face. I was very happy he ruined my face. I thought maybe he could stop thinking about me from then on, but he went completely mad. He gave me skin from other parts of his body, but transferred the scar from my face to his own face… Haha… He wanted to become ugly in my place, but ended up looking exactly like me… He became fascinated with his new appearance. He wore dresses I had worn, learned to arrange his hair the way I did, began applying rouge and powder to his face. Hahaha… Everyone was very afraid of him, but I knew he was in pain inside. He wanted to kill me but couldn’t leave me, so he wanted to become me. He thought if he became me, after killing me he wouldn’t miss me anymore…”

“But he never killed you.” Wanyu Yuedan said gently, “He loves you.”

Xue Tao closed her eyes, “He loves me, and he also loves himself. He can’t love me without loving himself, and can’t love only himself without loving me. And I… I can’t love him. He’s a bad person…” She said tremblingly, “I don’t want to love him, so I stopped seeing him. He always wanted to kill me but could never bring himself to do it. I thought if I didn’t see him I wouldn’t think of him, but I did think… day and night I thought…”

“Then today, Zhu Yan suddenly appeared and rescued you.” Wanyu Yuedan asked gently, “But you were very sad?”

Xue Tao said slowly, “I listened to the sounds of him breaking in, wave after wave, earth-shaking. I heard his footsteps, that familiar aura and scent… exactly like what I had imagined before. My cousin hid. He didn’t block Zhu Yan from taking me away, and he didn’t want me to die… I… I was disappointed.” She gripped the bedding tightly, “I was very sad. He actually didn’t block him or kill me, just let me go like that. I don’t know if I disappointed him, or if he loved me too much so he really let me go. Whatever the reason, I felt very sad. I love him. I no longer love Zhu Yan, don’t care whether Zhu Yan comes to save me or not. I only wanted to stay by my cousin’s side. No matter how many bad things he did or how many people he killed, I wanted to be with him.” She said miserably, “I couldn’t deceive Zhu Yan. I told him I no longer loved him, so he struck me with his halberd.”

Yu Tuan’er gasped, “How could he do that?”

Xue Tao said softly, “I don’t blame him. That’s the kind of person he is. In his whole life he was only good to me alone. When I betrayed him, it was like his entire life betrayed him. I wronged him.”

Wanyu Yuedan sighed, “Haven’t you thought that telling Zhu Yan you no longer love him would intensify his hatred toward Yu Konghou… He threw you on the ground – where did he go himself?”

Xue Tao’s expression changed, “He’ll go find my cousin!”

Wanyu Yuedan’s voice was gentle yet helpless, “He must have returned to Wangting Manor now. A great battle at Wangting Manor is unavoidable. We can only wait quietly for the result.”

Xue Tao stared blankly at Wanyu Yuedan. The strength the Purple Gold Elixir had given her was disappearing drop by drop. When had Zhu Yan ever failed to kill someone? Her chest had a penetrating halberd wound, and blood was slowly seeping out again. Yu Tuan’er kept applying the wound medicine from Tang Lici’s square jade box to her injury. Xue Tao’s breathing became more and more rapid, her consciousness gradually unclear, and she fell unconscious again.

“Will she die?” Yu Tuan’er looked at Xue Tao, feeling very sad.

Wanyu Yuedan bit his lip, “Perhaps.”

Yu Tuan’er said in a low voice, “If she hadn’t said so much, maybe she wouldn’t die.”

Wanyu Yuedan shook his head and smiled, “These words were stuck in her heart. Not saying them would make her more uncomfortable. For ten years, except for Yu Konghou, no one talked with her. She’s really very pitiful.”

Yu Tuan’er was wiping tears again, “I think she’s very pitiful. She was harmed so terribly by that androgynous monster surnamed Yu, yet still wants to stay by his side.”

Wanyu Yuedan shook his head again, “Matters of the heart are hard to explain. If they could choose, I think both Yu Konghou and Zhu Yan would prefer not to love anyone. Emotions only hinder their martial arts and ambitions for dominance.”

Having said this, he propped his chin on his hand facing Yu Tuan’er and changed the topic, “Miss Yu, you were born in the mountains and forests. Do you know who your parents are?”

Yu Tuan’er imitated him in propping her chin on her hand, because Wanyu Yuedan’s wrists were white and slender, making his chin-propping pose very attractive, “My mother said she was originally the daughter of the Li Family Steamed Bun Shop in the county town. As a child she learned some martial arts from a master at the town’s martial arts school. She was also beautiful, a famous beauty in the county. As for my father… she said one day my father passed through the county and looked at her steamed bun shop a couple extra times. She took a liking to my father’s handsome and elegant appearance, his red lips and white teeth, his graceful bearing, so she deliberately provoked him, saying my father stole her steamed buns.” She smiled lightly, “Then my father actually admitted it. My mother wanted him to pay for the steamed buns, but my father said he’d treat my mother to drinks, and my mother agreed.”

This sounded somewhat like a beautiful woman being taken advantage of by a rogue? Lin Bu found it funny inside but didn’t dare laugh out loud. Wanyu Yuedan listened very seriously, “Your mother must have been very happy that day.”

Yu Tuan’er laughed, “Of course! That night, my father treated my mother to drinks, the two got together, and my mother became pregnant with me.”

Lin Bu choked, “Cough cough…”

Wanyu Yuedan smiled, “Later your father married your mother?”

Yu Tuan’er shook her head, “Later my father left, left the very next day. My mother never saw my father again. She gave birth to me without marrying, which made grandfather very angry. Plus I was born with a strange illness and was very ugly. Mother couldn’t stay in the county anymore, so she took me to hide in the mountains and forests, hiding for over ten years.”

Lin Bu’s smile had yet to fully form when he was stunned, then became gloomy again, “Your father never looked for your mother?”

Yu Tuan’er shook her head, “My mother said my father was very handsome and must have encountered many women. He probably wouldn’t remember my mother. But my mother had no regrets at all. She said after seeing my father, she could never like another man again. If grandfather had forcibly betrothed her to another family, she would have been sad her whole life, so even though father left and never returned, she had no regrets at all.”

“What’s your father’s name?” Wanyu Yuedan asked gently.

Yu Tuan’er shook her head again, “I don’t know. Even mother didn’t ask. Mother only knew his surname was Yu. Mother said since she knew it was a bond that couldn’t be kept, what use was asking for a name? Having a name would make one want to search for the person, and finding the person might bring even more heartache.” She shrugged, “Whatever it was, anyway mother felt it was good so it was good. She kept one piece of father’s clothing. Sometimes she’d put it on and pretend to be father for me to see. I was quite happy, and she was quite cheerful too.”

Wanyu Yuedan’s eyebrows curved as he smiled very warmly and gently, “Your mother has such a good nature.”

Yu Tuan’er laughed, “Of course! My mother is very, very good.”

The sky gradually brightened. Xue Tao’s breathing became weaker and weaker. Wanyu Yuedan closed his eyes to rest, his expression still very calm. Yu Tuan’er and Lin Bu worried about Xue Tao’s injuries and also worried about the battle situation at Wangting Manor, unable to sleep at all.