A blood-stained sleeve slowly stretched across, shielding Yu Tuan’er and Liu Yan behind it. Tang Lici coughed once more and spat out another mouthful of blood. Shen Langhun stared at Liu Yan, who shakily stood up from the ground using the table and chairs for support, pushing Yu Tuan’er aside. “A’Li, don’t stop me.”

Tang Lici’s right hand supported the table, his left sleeve still stretched across in front of Liu Yan.

With a “bang,” Liu Yan forcefully pushed Tang Lici aside, causing him to crash into the wardrobe nearby. Yu Tuan’er and Shen Langhun were stunned as they watched Liu Yan stride boldly to Shen Langhun. “I killed your wife. If you want to kill me, then kill me. Don’t involve others.”

Though he limped as he walked, he managed to stand straight. Shen Langhun’s raised palm paused slightly, then immediately struck down. Just as his palm force was about to reach Liu Yan, a black shadow suddenly flew through the air. Shen Langhun’s killing intent was set, his strike showed no mercy. There was a thunderous sound as the black shadow was struck and flew backward, crashing into and collapsing half the tables and chairs.

“Sister A’Shui!” Yu Tuan’er screamed and rushed toward the black shadow. Halfway there, she suddenly turned toward Tang Lici, raised her palm, and gave him a crisp, resounding slap!

The “crack” of that slap was heard by everyone. Shen Langhun had struck to kill, yet Liu Yan was completely unharmed. Both men stood frozen, momentarily forgetting even what shock meant, staring blankly at Tang Lici together.

The black shadow that had flown through the air was A’Shui.

Just now—Tang Lici, severely wounded and unable to stand, had grabbed A’Shui from the bed beside him and hurled her toward Shen Langhun. Shen Langhun’s palm struck her down, and she took the blow in Liu Yan’s place, keeping Liu Yan safe and unharmed.

“You—you—” Yu Tuan’er glared at Tang Lici, her anger beyond any words to express. “You monster! You monster monster monster! Go die! Go die go die go die! Why didn’t you throw yourself over there? You—you—” She suddenly burst into tears, turning toward where A’Shui had fallen. “Sister A’Shui…”

Shen Langhun stared blankly at Tang Lici, who lay fallen and unable to stand. He had actually used A’Shui as a projectile weapon, hurling her through the air… He could hardly believe it. Tang Lici had always treated A’Shui differently from others, and A’Shui cared for him with such attentiveness and caution, doing everything she could think of that should or could be done. At the crucial moment, he had thrown her over like a meat shield, like a table or chair…

And she was severely wounded, not yet out of danger, yet he had thrown her over like that.

Liu Yan swayed heavily. He had intended to take a step toward Tang Lici, but paused and walked straight toward A’Shui instead. Yu Tuan’er had already lifted her up, crying, “She’s going to die, she’s going to die… What do we do? What do we do?”

Liu Yan said hoarsely, “She won’t die. She’s a good person. Heaven won’t let down good people.” Yu Tuan’er wailed, “You’re lying—you’re lying—why did he have to throw Sister A’Shui over? Why didn’t he throw himself over? Would Heaven harm people like this? Why doesn’t Heaven rain hail down right now and kill him? Ahhhhh…” She trembled all over as she held A’Shui and cried. Liu Yan reached out and held her tightly. “Don’t cry, don’t cry…” He told others not to cry, but looking at A’Shui’s pale face and dying breath in Yu Tuan’er’s arms, his own eyes reddened.

A’Shui had a knife wound to her chest, and now Shen Langhun’s palm strike to her abdomen—the severity of her injuries was unimaginable. She kept her eyes open, not unconscious. Seeing Yu Tuan’er heartbroken, she slightly moved her lips and smiled faintly. “Little… sister…”

“Sister A’Shui…”

“I… am… willing…” A’Shui said in a low voice. “Heart… willing…”

Yu Tuan’er didn’t understand yet, but Liu Yan’s expression had already changed. “You—”

“Cough cough…” A’Shui suddenly spat out fresh blood. The knife wound, affected by the palm force, had injured her lungs. “Cough cough cough…”

Liu Yan’s eyes became very red. “You say you’re willing? You say you’re willing to let him throw you over like that? You don’t hate him, don’t blame him, aren’t sad? Are you crazy?”

“I… don’t know…” The fresh blood at A’Shui’s lips drowned out the color of her lips, making them look vivid and beautiful. “I’m at peace… I’m not… useless…”

Her voice was weak as silk, but everyone in the room heard her. Liu Yan looked toward Tang Lici and suddenly roared, “Did you hear? Did you hear? You wanted her to willingly die for you—and she’s still willing to die for you in the end! No matter how unwilling or resentful she once was, you can still make her love you wholeheartedly and then die for you, sacrifice for you, without even hating you! Are you happy? Did you get it? Did you get what you wanted? Are you satisfied?”

Tang Lici slowly propped himself up, his gray hair disheveled, hanging long to the ground, tangled with dust. He looked distantly at A’Shui. From his position he couldn’t see her condition, with collapsed tables and chairs between them, and no one went to his side. He coughed softly and reached into his robes, slowly taking out a bundle of soft yellow brocade.

Shen Langhun had been stunned, but seeing him take out the brocade, his mind suddenly flashed with understanding. He rushed over to take the brocade. “What is this?”

“Great Return Pills.” Tang Lici pointed toward A’Shui. “Warm water…”

Shen Langhun nimbly poured warm water from the teapot. Fortunately, before A’Shui went to sleep, Yu Tuan’er had left a pot of hot water for her, which was now just slightly warm. Opening the brocade, inside were three pale yellow pills. Shen Langhun dissolved all three pills in the warm water and, without hesitation, poured it all into A’Shui’s mouth.

Liu Yan unwrapped the gauze from A’Shui’s chest. Her wound had originally been treated with excellent medicine, but the palm force had shocked it open again. He took out a bottle of brown liquid from his robes and gently applied it to her wound—it was antiseptic he had developed while creating antidotes. After applying the antiseptic, he didn’t rebandage the wound with gauze, only pressed a white cloth gently against it. Yu Tuan’er carefully supported A’Shui while Shen Langhun moved his fingers like flying, pressing several major acupoints on A’Shui’s body.

The three worked desperately together to save A’Shui. She lay drowsily in Yu Tuan’er’s arms, seeming ready to drift away as a lonely spirit at any moment. After the chaos in the room, it became extraordinarily quiet. Fengfeng sat on the bed—when he had cried earlier, no one was listening. Now he clenched his fists tightly, watching A’Shui with complete concentration, motionless.

Only after Shen Langhun finished channeling energy for A’Shui and forced out the accumulated blood from her chest did the three look up at Tang Lici.

Tang Lici still sat in that corner, but had changed position, sitting with his knees drawn up. His gray hair reached the ground, still tangled with dust and debris from the broken furniture, trembling slightly in the wind.

Liu Yan staggered over to him and knelt down. “A’Li…”

Tang Lici didn’t move, didn’t even change his expression.

“Let me die.” Liu Yan said in a low voice. “I beg you.”

He still didn’t answer, staring fixedly at the dust dancing in the lamplight before him.

“At Haoyun Mountain you wouldn’t kill me. To save me you’d rather make enemies of the entire martial world. To save me, you treated A’Shui like nothing and just threw her over…” Liu Yan grabbed his shoulders and shook him forcefully. “What makes me worth this? I’ve killed countless people. I commanded little girls who understood nothing to kill and burn. I threw Shen Langhun’s wife into the Yellow River. Dying ten times wouldn’t be enough for me. Now that the Scarlet Ghost Nine-Heart Pills are no longer incurable poison, I can finally die. Let me die. I beg you. You force me not to let me die—do you want me to live a fate worse than death?”

Tang Lici’s bloodless lips were slightly cracked. He moved his lips, but no one could hear what he was saying. Liu Yan shook him violently. “Give up! Let me die! The more you force me not to die, the more you save me, the more I suffer, the more miserable my days become. Why must you? Why must you? Why must you?”

“…owe you.”

Tang Lici’s lips moved slightly. This time everyone heard. Liu Yan looked at him in shock. “You owe me? What do you owe me? When did you ever owe me?”

“I owe you all.” He held his knees, looking at the debris on the ground, speaking faintly.

I owe you all? Liu Yan felt the world spinning for a moment. “You’re doing this because of what happened that night at the Silver House… so you…”

Tang Lici’s jade-like fingers released his knees and held his head. “I was wrong.” He said softly. “I must change… I must change. You can’t die, Fang Zhou can’t die, even Fu Zhumei can’t die… If you don’t let me save you, I’ll go mad…” His fingers ran through his gray hair, and he suddenly smiled faintly, that smile very pale. “I was wrong again, wasn’t I?”

You…

Liu Yan gripped his shoulders tightly. So he still deeply regretted setting the poison trap at the Silver House that night, intending to kill Fang Zhou, himself, and Fu Zhumei. It was that night when an accident occurred, causing them to cross boundaries and reach another realm a thousand years before. Could it be that in Tang Lici’s heart, he stubbornly believed that Fang Zhou’s death and his own current state were all because of him, all his fault—so he would stop at nothing, using every means to try to make amends—

He would even try to save the dead, let alone the living like himself?

A’Li’s method of atonement, his way of being good to people, had always been so extreme, carrying such intense possessiveness and protectiveness, doing only what he himself considered right and good without explanation. He never explained his actions to anyone, and no one could understand him. On the path of atonement, on the path of proving himself, he strayed further and further, becoming more and more isolated, until he was alone and helpless, forced to approach something monstrous.

“Many, many things are not your fault.” Liu Yan said hoarsely. “Don’t take everyone else’s choices upon yourself. You’re not that great. You only did one thing wrong. Fang Zhou died because he was injured. I became what I am today because I’m stupid! What does it have to do with you? I don’t want you to save me! I don’t need your atonement, and I don’t care for it!”

Tang Lici held his head. He wasn’t listening at all. He had always been in his own world, never coming out, never letting anyone in.

“Why did you throw A’Shui over? She could have died—you know that—could it be that to you, she really only has the value of a table or chair, something you can casually smash?” Liu Yan’s eyes were very red. “Why did you do such a thing? You harmed her to save me—would that make me happy? Would that make you happy? Would everyone be satisfied with no loss at all? Don’t you really get hurt? Don’t you feel heartache? Don’t you think about her innocence, don’t you think about how sad she would be?”

“Cough… cough cough…” Tang Lici coughed softly twice and said nothing.

“Can you really bear to let her die? Do you really believe trading her life for mine is worth it?” Liu Yan said hoarsely. “I beg you, let me die! Let me die! If you keep saving me, you haven’t gone mad yet, but I’ll go mad first!”

Shen Langhun stood to the side. At such a moment, he could have killed Liu Yan a thousand times over, yet he stood there, silently watching Liu Yan roar. Yu Tuan’er held A’Shui, her face originally covered in tears, but now her tears fell like broken pearls, drop by drop onto her clothes. She first cried for A’Shui, then for herself. Liu Yan’s righteous indignation and tone for A’Shui, that kind of frantic expression—she was seeing it all for the first time.

No matter how she might rejoice or grieve, Liu Yan could never explode with such emotion for her, because she would forever be just a child, forever a child.

“Shh…” Tang Lici said softly. “Could you… let me be quiet for a while?”

Liu Yan released his fingers one by one. Tang Lici sat motionless, staring at the dust dancing in the lamplight and the debris from the smashed furniture.

He was like a quiet statue, wanting neither thought nor soul.

Liu Yan turned around. Shen Langhun stood right behind him.

“Kill me.” He raised his neck. “To die under your palm, Liu deserves it completely, without complaint.”

Shen Langhun looked at him coldly. After a long while, he said, “You’re already living a fate worse than death. If I killed you, that would be letting you off easy.” Taking a long breath, he said faintly, “I won’t kill you.”

Liu Yan’s eyes showed extreme despair, that intense sorrow seeming to take physical form, able to cause piercing pain to the skin. Yu Tuan’er was startled. “Don’t commit suicide!” She put down A’Shui, crawled over on the ground and grabbed Liu Yan’s clothes. “Don’t commit suicide. If others don’t want you, I want you. You’re very good, very good. Don’t… don’t abandon me.”

Liu Yan let her pull at him, his face suddenly showing extreme anguish. “I… I’m not the kind of person you imagine.” He shook his head. “You don’t understand anything. You just haven’t met other men. There are many people in this world better than me.” Yu Tuan’er gripped his sleeve tightly. “Don’t die. If you don’t tell me anything, how can I understand? I don’t want to understand. Don’t think you’re very bad very bad and so you have to die! You’re not very bad very bad, really not! Really not…”

“Waaah—” Fengfeng suddenly began crying loudly, trembling all over. Yu Tuan’er cried along with him. Shen Langhun stood still. Liu Yan, dragging Yu Tuan’er, turned and picked up Fengfeng from the bed. The crying of woman and child was disturbing. Standing by the bed, he didn’t know what to do for a moment.

“Heh…” Shen Langhun laughed lowly, stepping back two paces, his laughter very desolate. This person had no great virtues, nor great vices. He had a close friend who would fight desperately for him, a woman who would cry for him—how many wandering men of the martial world would envy these two things? But he couldn’t accept them.

He couldn’t accept this close friend, couldn’t accept this woman. Seeing that hideous face show such extreme anguish, Shen Langhun suddenly burst into loud laughter and turned to leave.

His revenge was complete. As for the rest, he no longer cared. In his chest was the Spring Mountain Beauty Hairpin that Tang Lici had given him—something Tang Lici had pulled from Yu Konghou’s hair during his night attack, then given to Shen Langhun at Wangting Manor. At this moment, Shen Langhun only thought of one thing—return to the Luopo Tower, exchange with the tower master for He Niang’s body, then bury her properly.

This martial world, these grudges and enmities, all this justice and righteousness—the burden was too heavy, transcendence too difficult. Seeing Liu Yan living worse than death, seeing A’Shui dying, seeing Yu Tuan’er heartbroken, he only wanted to bury He Niang properly and spend the rest of his life accompanying a loved one’s gravestone, far better than wandering the martial world.

He still owed Tang Lici one blade strike, and fifty thousand taels of gold.

But his heart was tired, grudges had faded. Some things, once branded into form, could never be repaid.

Shen Langhun leaped out the window. He wouldn’t kill Liu Yan, but neither could he share the same roof with Liu Yan, so he chose to leave.

“Brother Shen…” Yu Tuan’er’s sobbing drifted in the night wind. A’Shui lay quietly on the ground. Tang Lici slowly raised his head, coughed softly, and looked at the empty window. No one knew what he was thinking at this moment.

This was a night of dancing inner demons.

Everyone was going mad.

She seemed to float in mist for a long time, so long she thought she had passed through several reincarnations. When she slowly opened her eyes, A’Shui almost had the illusion she had been reborn as an infant.

But opening her eyes, what she saw was Yu Tuan’er’s face. In an instant, that liberating lightness left her body. Her whole body felt heavy, even blinking her eyelashes was exhaustingly tiring. Staring blankly at Yu Tuan’er’s ecstatic expression, she only thought that the days ahead would continue, and they would be very long…

“Sister A’Shui, where else does it hurt? Amitabha, you’re finally saved! Hey! Hey!” Yu Tuan’er jumped up. “Don’t leave! Sister A’Shui is awake, won’t you talk to her?”

There weren’t many people Yu Tuan’er would call “hey” to. A’Shui smiled at the person standing awkwardly by the bed. Liu Yan wasn’t dead, which meant Shen Langhun ultimately hadn’t killed him after all. Good.

Liu Yan stood by the bed leaning on a crutch, silent for a long while. “I…”

A’Shui looked at him, her gaze sincere and gentle, without the slightest resentment.

“I always… cause you to be hurt…” Liu Yan said in a low voice. “Always wronging you.”

She slowly shook her head.

“If I hadn’t taken you from Hao Wenhou, perhaps…” he said softly, “you would be living better than now.”

She still shook her head, her gaze still calm. After a while, she asked, “Where is Young Master Tang?”

Liu Yan was stunned. She harbored no resentment toward him, nor toward A’Li, as if A’Li throwing her as a meat shield to save his life left barely a trace in her heart. “He…”

A’Shui’s gaze moved slightly, a very subtle change, but with a tendency toward concern. He didn’t want to say, but had to. “He has other urgent matters and is no longer here.”

A’Shui trembled. “How many days did I sleep?”

“Two days and two nights.”

“He left?” She was quiet for a while, then asked in a low voice, “How are his injuries?”

“He…”

Saying “his injuries are fine” would be easy, but under A’Shui’s gaze, he found himself stuck—once stuck, lies became hard to speak. After being rigid for a long time, Liu Yan still hadn’t answered. Yu Tuan’er couldn’t help but say, “He was severely injured, but left as soon as he said he would. When asked where he was going, he wouldn’t say…”

“Shut up!” Liu Yan snapped in a low voice. Yu Tuan’er ignored him completely and continued, “There’s no one more heartless in the world! After harming you like this, he didn’t even stay one night with you, left almost immediately, didn’t even ask a single question! You know? You treat him so well, care about him so much, and after he harmed you like this, he didn’t even ask ‘How is she?’ didn’t even look at you once! Then he left! I… I…” Her face flushed red. “I really wish I could strangle him, tie him up and drag him before you to whip him! How can there be such a person in the world!”

Liu Yan frowned, slowly exhaling the stifled breath in his chest, turning his head away. He didn’t dare look at A’Shui. He had always believed Tang Lici needed A’Shui, so he had advised her to let go of everything and love him. The result was Tang Lici abandoning her like refuse, caring neither for her life nor her feelings.

“He’s very busy.” A’Shui’s gaze remained gentle, still calm. “What about Brother Shen?”

Yu Tuan’er was stunned again. Tang Lici had abandoned her and left, and she just said “he’s very busy” and then became calm again? “Brother Shen also left.” Her eyes reddened, feeling very reluctant. “I’m very grateful to Brother Shen.”

A’Shui smiled faintly. “Yes, Brother Shen really isn’t easy…” She lowered her eyelashes slightly. After severe injury, her voice lacked strength, appearing especially gentle. “Little sister.”

“Mm?” Yu Tuan’er walked over and took her hand. “What is it?”

A’Shui clasped her hand with her five fingers and closed her eyes. “When Young Master Tang threw me out, I understood one thing.”

“What?” Yu Tuan’er was astonished. In that lightning-fast instant, there was time for her to think about something?

“I… in my heart…” A’Shui said gently, her voice very calm, “really care about and like Young Master Tang very much.”

Yu Tuan’er gripped her hand tightly. Liu Yan’s expression was miserable. Both listened as she continued, “I really don’t blame him, so little sister, don’t say he’s heartless and cold. It makes me very sad to hear.” She slowly opened her eyes again, her eyes clear and bright. “Young Master Tang never promised me anything. There are so many women in this world who are interested in him—why would he need to be especially good to me? It’s my fault. Though you all saw long ago my feelings for Young Master Tang, I myself always refused to admit it.” She sighed softly. “If I had understood earlier and admitted it sooner, Young Master Tang wouldn’t have felt A’Shui was different from others. Perhaps we would have long forgotten each other in the martial world and wouldn’t have reached today’s situation.”

“How… how can you say that?” Yu Tuan’er’s eyes widened, half not understanding. “Even if he doesn’t like you, he shouldn’t have thrown you over…”

“Silly girl,” A’Shui smiled. “He threw me over, Liu Yan was saved because of it, but you all hate and blame him. Wouldn’t that hurt him too?”

Yu Tuan’er was extremely confused. “Didn’t he disregard your safety? He doesn’t have you in his heart, so why are you speaking for him?”

A’Shui looked at her for a long while, her pale cheeks showing a faint blush. “I don’t blame him. Even if I had died because of it, I could still indulge him.”

Yu Tuan’er looked at A’Shui incredulously, stunned for a long time. “Is this what you think yourself, or what Young Master Tang hopes you’ll think?”

A’Shui looked back at Yu Tuan’er. “I don’t know,” she said softly, “but I really don’t blame him.”

Yu Tuan’er bit her lip. “Does he really not love you?”

“Probably…” A’Shui said, “doesn’t love me.”

“Then what harm would he suffer? Sister A’Shui, you’re just speaking for him and talking nonsense!” Yu Tuan’er frowned. “If he doesn’t love you, he wouldn’t be sad if you died!”

A’Shui slowly shook her head. “The lofty Young Master Tang, to save someone by trading life for life… he wouldn’t be able to accept such a thing.” She coughed lightly. “Even knowing I wouldn’t blame him, he would still remember this matter and let it wound him day and night.”

Yu Tuan’er shook her head. “I don’t understand!” After a pause, she added, “I only know you’re very very good to him, and he’s very very bad to you.”

“He hasn’t been bad to me. Young Master Tang has always been very good to me.” A’Shui smiled. “You just don’t understand.”

“I don’t understand, and why should I understand?” Yu Tuan’er glared, then smiled and jumped behind Liu Yan. “As long as you can think it through and understand, that’s fine. Are you hungry? What do you want to eat?”

He had always been very good to A’Shui.

Though his “goodness” to others was only to win their love, neither from kindness nor gentleness, more like a trap.

She had originally feared this kind of “goodness,” trying with all her methods to resist, only hoping to protect herself and leave safely.

Liu Yan was silent. But perhaps in the instant A’Li threw her out, what she thought of wasn’t just escaping, but more wanting to comfort the man who had abandoned her.

Or rather… she was eager to comfort the man who had abandoned her.

He had always known A’Shui couldn’t escape Tang Lici, but never knew she had fallen so deep, so deep there was no bottom, soul-devouring and bone-deep—inside and out, all bearing Tang Lici’s brand.