Chapter 55: Having Such A Maid 01

Green mountains bleak and waters distant long,

To see the lonely city, meet the verdant wormwood.

Two horse carriages carried five people northward to Mount Song. After leaving Kui Town, they encountered rolling hills one after another. During spring and summer, the mountains sometimes turned damp and cold, other times sultry and stifling. Tang Lici avoided the main roads, traveling over mountains and through ridges. Though this didn’t involve detours, bringing along so many women meant they couldn’t travel very fast. At this time, Princess Langya was leading her troops in an expedition against Piaoliang Mei Garden, with martial banners crisscrossing the jianghu and morale soaring as they advanced. Meanwhile, Tang Lici, as the mastermind behind the poison pill incident, though the princess had not issued a kill order, his deeds were clear as day. Tang Lici was sinister and malicious, deserving of death ten thousand times over. Anyone even slightly connected to the three characters “Tang Lici” lived in constant fear. Wanqiao Studio bore the brunt, with many shops already smashed and destroyed, losses beyond calculation.

At such a time, Tang Lici should take the small paths to avoid complications and delays.

On the carriage, a hand emerged from within the curtains, lifting them aside. The wrist wore a silver bracelet, intricately carved with complex patterns, yet this bracelet was missing a section in the middle, as if a piece had been forcibly cut from it. However, the wearer seemed completely unaware of its incompleteness. The gorgeously colored sleeve and fair, smooth arm made this defective silver bracelet appear uniquely charming. A voice from within the carriage spoke: “A’Shui, bring hot water. Yesterday’s clothes are in the basket.”

Someone from the other carriage responded, “Miss Lin, we haven’t found lodging today yet. Once we locate a water source, A’Shui will bring it immediately.”

The person wearing the bracelet made a sound of acknowledgment and said nothing more.

Sitting in the other carriage were two young women: one in purple cloth dress looking rather haggard, the other in a pink long dress with her hair arranged in twin buns. Hearing the woman in the neighboring carriage speak, the girl in pink became greatly displeased, forcefully tugging at the purple-clad woman’s sleeve and saying in a low voice, “Sister A’Shui, she’s going too far! She really treats you like a maid, ordering you around. Your injuries haven’t even healed yet.”

The purple-clad woman gently embraced her, showing no anger. “I am indeed a maid. Since Miss Lin is Young Master Tang’s old friend, serving Miss Lin is the same as serving Young Master Tang.”

“What ‘old friend’?” This girl in pink was naturally Yu Tuan’er. Upon hearing this, she pouted in frustration. “They’re all ‘old friends,’ so you’re just a stranger? Though that ‘Miss Lin’ is very beautiful, once she sits in Young Master Tang’s carriage, we don’t even get a chance to speak with Young Master Tang.”

A’Shui smiled slightly. “Are you angry that he’s sitting with them too?”

Yu Tuan’er’s face reddened as she lowered her head. “He was with them to begin with. I’m not…”

“Silly girl.” A’Shui patted her back. “Though he sits with them, doesn’t he come back several times each day to see you?” Yu Tuan’er immediately smiled again. “If he doesn’t come back, I’ll beat him and drag him back from over there.”

A’Shui smiled warmly. Yu Tuan’er sighed again. “But we’ve been traveling together for so many days, yet Young Master Tang never comes to see you.” She glared. “He wouldn’t really think of you as a maid, would he? Young Master Tang has always been terribly wicked—he can’t really treat you like a maid!”

A’Shui shook her head, gently patting the sleeping Fengfeng with her right hand, gazing at the child for a long moment. “Having received so many favors from Young Master Tang with nothing to repay, except for being a maid or slave, A’Shui has no other talents.” She said slowly, “Even this food and these silk garments are received with shame.”

Yu Tuan’er made a sound of understanding, her voice becoming smaller. “Then I also owe Young Master Tang so much money…” A’Shui smiled faintly. “Silly child, don’t think that way.” Yu Tuan’er spoke even more quietly, “He really dislikes me too.” A’Shui continued shaking her head, smiling faintly. “Young Master Tang looks down on many people, but he has never looked down on you, hasn’t he?” Yu Tuan’er was stunned—this was true. Tang Lici was strange and unpredictable, but he always spoke to her calmly and peacefully, never seeming to have belittled her. She said in a tiny voice, “I don’t know how to do anything.”

“You are wonderful.” A’Shui said gently, “Everyone envies you.” Yu Tuan’er laughed, pointing at her own nose. “Envies me? What do they envy about me? I’m not even as pretty as you all.” She pointed to the neighboring carriage. “They, and you, are all much prettier than me. I’m the one who should be envious.”

A’Shui also laughed, but sighed softly.

In this world, whether one envies another person or not—what connection does that have with being pretty or not?

Being prettier… does that necessarily mean living better than others?

She grasped Fengfeng’s hand. Fengfeng was sleeping soundly, the infant’s tender hand warmed by the bedding, held in her palm like a small heater.

She held it with complete concentration, thinking of nothing else.

In this world, whether one envies or not, lives well or poorly, loves or not, survives or not, suffers or not—none of it changes based on what she thinks.

So whatever she thinks is futile.

The carriage moved neither fast nor slow through the mountains. They were not far from Mount Song now. The roadside was full of jujube trees in full bloom, with snow-white flowers covering the mountains and fields, quite beautiful to behold. Before long, clear bird songs could be heard in the distance. Yu Tuan’er’s ears perked up. “There’s water!”

A’Shui knew she had grown up in the mountains and forests, with unique insights into insect chirps and bird calls, so she didn’t ask how she knew there was a water source and simply nodded. Yu Tuan’er crawled out of the carriage, patted the driver’s shoulder, and told him to head toward a spot in the forest. The driver of Tang Lici’s carriage, seeing this, habitually followed.

Throughout this mountain journey, finding water sources and resting places mostly relied on Yu Tuan’er’s habits developed in the forest.

Not far away, below a mountain slope, there was a large rock with clear spring water flowing down along the stone. Below the large rock was a very small pond, but the water was extremely clear. Clear water overflowed from the pond, winding down through broken stones and flowing into the forest. Yu Tuan’er leaped down from the carriage, took two water bags to fetch water from the stream. A’Shui slowly descended from the carriage, carrying down the iron pot they had temporarily bought for cooking. Fengfeng woke up, lying at the carriage window with bright black eyes watching the neighboring carriage.

Liu Yan got down from Tang Lici’s carriage and helped A’Shui place the ten-or-so-pound iron pot on the ground. Yu Tuan’er returned with water and gathered several large stones to place under the pot. A’Shui took charcoal from the carriage and slowly began to light a fire. Though Tang Lici’s carriage no longer contained gold-inlaid jade fox fur warming stoves, they still carried quality charcoal. This charcoal was better than raw wood from the forest—it burned without excessive smoke.

The three busied themselves around the iron pot. The two drivers unhitched the horses and led them to the stream to drink. Tang Lici’s carriage remained completely silent.

The people inside hadn’t even touched the curtains once, let alone come out to greet anyone or offer help.

Only Tang Lici could maintain such an aloof attitude. He was like this every day, almost never stepping out of the carriage. At first, Yu Tuan’er was furious, repeatedly wanting to confront him about why he was so heartless and indifferent. But A’Shui stopped her, and Liu Yan also stopped her. After being angry for several days, seeing that Tang Lici’s demeanor and behavior were no different from when he had cast A’Shui aside, even she began to feel disheartened, and her anger and desire to argue also cooled.

The charcoal under the iron pot gradually ignited, and the water in the pot gradually warmed. Yu Tuan’er circled the forest and caught a wild rabbit. Liu Yan skinned and cleaned the rabbit. A’Shui carefully cut seasonings, mixed sauce to marinate the rabbit meat, then kneaded dough to make pan-fried dumplings.

Her injuries had not actually healed yet. When her hands were busy, her chest still ached, but she was accustomed to endurance and never made a sound throughout the journey. Seeing her work efficiently, Liu Yan and Yu Tuan’er assumed her injuries had healed, while Tang Lici and Se Lin didn’t even glance at her properly.

Since meeting in Kui Town, Tang Lici hadn’t spoken a single word to her, and she had no intention of speaking with Young Master Tang either.

In Tang Lici’s heart, she was ultimately nothing.

After she had fulfilled his wild claim that she would “willingly die for him,” she seemed to have lost any value of existence, like a discarded toy—yesterday’s various charms were merely illusions.

Inside the carriage.

Se Lin lazily nestled in Tang Lici’s embrace, watching the faint light of the campfire outside. Her full red lips curved in an enchanting smile that was neither quite a smile nor not, her demeanor quite leisurely.

Tang Lici gently patted Se Lin’s back stroke by stroke. He held her in his arms, patting softly, as if embracing a pure and lovely infant, just as he had once coaxed Fengfeng.

But he wasn’t looking at Se Lin.

He sat quietly, not looking at Se Lin, nor at the firelight outside the window.

Everything outside the carriage, the beauty in his arms, the cold and warm, the living and heated—only he seemed isolated from the world.

A’Shui heated the iron pot, poured in hot water, then boiled a second pot of hot water to wash clothes. Yu Tuan’er poured hot oil into the pot and stuck pieces of dough onto it one by one. Liu Yan clumsily roasted the rabbit beside them. After bustling about for a long time, when the rabbit meat was cooked, A’Shui had also finished washing clothes, carrying the basin back and breaking several tree branches to hang the clothes up to dry.

When traveling through mountains, everything was incomparable to normal times. Though Tang Lici usually ate fine food and wore luxurious clothes, each garment more exquisite than the last, clothes still needed to be changed and washed. He had originally traveled alone and couldn’t bring a carriage full of clothes to wear once and discard. Moreover, encountering Se Lin was unexpected, and Se Lin’s clothes were hastily made in Kui Town—only a few outfits could be made. Naturally, all the washing and cooking fell to A’Shui.

Cooking was manageable—Tang Lici wasn’t particularly particular about food, and Se Lin only ate vegetables, refusing all meat. But how to make washed clothes look like new was truly a science that required painstaking effort. On rainy days when clothes wouldn’t dry, A’Shui had to clean the iron pot, turn it upside down over the charcoal fire, and press the clothes against the bottom to dry them. When embroidery threads came loose or colors stained, she wouldn’t sleep, staying up night after night thinking of ways to remedy the situation. Once, Yu Tuan’er hid one of Se Lin’s dresses to prevent A’Shui from staying up all night mending it. The next morning, when Se Lin saw the wrinkled dress, she said nothing and threw it directly into the dying embers of the charcoal fire. She hadn’t even noticed that several embroidery threads had come loose. Yu Tuan’er watched in amazement, determining that this Miss Lin was a strange person, and never dared hide clothes again.

The washed clothes were hung up, and A’Shui carefully removed tree branches around the clothes to avoid soiling them. The pan-fried dumplings in the pot gave off a slightly charred fragrance. Yu Tuan’er distributed dumplings to the two drivers and brought several pieces to the people in the carriage. The curtain was lifted and immediately closed again, as if they didn’t even want to look outside.

She circled Tang Lici’s carriage once, very much wanting to kick the carriage and make it crash into a tree to see what attitude that “Miss Lin” would have, but since Tang Lici was also sitting inside, she didn’t dare. After circling once, she suddenly noticed several pearls in the weeds beneath the carriage.

Bending to pick up one, she stared at it for a long time in confusion. In these deep mountains, pearls couldn’t possibly grow naturally. A’Shui saw her pick up something and forget to return for dinner, so she called out. Yu Tuan’er spread the pearls in her palm in bewilderment. “Are these Young Master Tang’s?”

Both A’Shui and Liu Yan were slightly shocked. Liu Yan took the pearls to examine them—they had holes in the middle, apparently scattered from a string of beads. “They should be. What’s wrong?” Yu Tuan’er asked in confusion, “Why would Young Master Tang throw pearls on the ground?” Both A’Shui and Liu Yan trembled slightly. A’Shui said softly, “This thing… since you picked it up, don’t let Young Master Tang see it.” Yu Tuan’er became even more confused but obediently gathered all the pearls from the ground. Suddenly seeing a fluffy little cat peeking out from behind the mountain rocks, quite adorable, her heart lifted with joy and she chased after the cat.

A’Shui and Liu Yan looked at each other silently. Liu Yan turned the now-roasted rabbit meat. After a good while, A’Shui asked quietly, “His injuries… haven’t healed yet?” Liu Yan didn’t look at her, just stared blankly at the rabbit meat. “They should be healed, almost healed.” She asked no more, sitting quietly to the side.

After another while, Liu Yan said, “He’s just a bit…” He hesitated for a moment, saying uncertainly, “A bit…”

She waited for him to speak, yet seemed to be listening silently, as if she didn’t want to know at all.

“Sometimes he seems a bit…” Liu Yan murmured, “His eyes are a bit…” He couldn’t express that feeling—why he always stayed in Tang Lici’s carriage was because of unease. Even though nothing seemed to be happening and everything proceeded as usual, he still felt deep unease.

“Chaotic…” She softly uttered one word, then fell silent again.

Liu Yan smiled bitterly. Facing A’Shui, he had thousands of words in his heart, but looking at her, before he could speak she seemed to already understand everything, leaving him unable to say a single word.

“It’s my fault.” She said softly, “That was my fault…”

Liu Yan was speechless, watching her stand up, tear off a plate of the roasted rabbit meat, and take it to the carriage over there.

The carriage accepted it as usual, with not a sound from inside. She returned, casually ate a couple of bites herself, then bit by bit tore apart the pan-fried dumplings to feed Fengfeng. Liu Yan stared at her blankly—her posture was still so compliant, her gaze toward Fengfeng still so gentle, quiet as if she had no troubles at all.

She said it was her fault.

Was she wrong for not accepting Tang Lici’s courtship and torment early on, or for not transforming into a wooden stool the night Tang Lici cast her out, or for not declaring from the beginning that she could willingly die for him?

She said it was her fault.

She said that his becoming what he was now—becoming an exquisite porcelain that appeared intact on the surface but was already broken inside—was all her fault.

“Perhaps… it’s my fault.” Liu Yan said quietly.

But no one was listening to him speak.

He was extremely confused. Why was it that they only wanted to live their own lives, only wanted to choose what they could choose, yet had already driven him to such a state?

The vast forest sea, dusk gradually descending, light slowly dimming. The campfire swayed in the thick black tree shadows, struggling with faint light and warmth. There were still many pan-fried dumplings in the iron pot, but neither Liu Yan nor A’Shui had the mood to eat.

Because Yu Tuan’er had chased that fluffy little cat into the forest and had been gone for a very long time.

She couldn’t possibly not return for dinner, but she simply hadn’t returned.

As if she had been swallowed by the forest the moment she turned around.

Time passed bit by bit. A’Shui’s expression grew increasingly worried. Liu Yan stood up. “I’ll go find her.” A’Shui shook her head. “Your leg makes walking difficult, and it’s even harder in these mountain forests. I’ll go.” She handed Fengfeng in her arms to Liu Yan. “Don’t worry, I won’t go too far. If I can’t find her nearby, I’ll come back immediately.” Having said this, she stood up, called the two carriage drivers, took a half-burned short piece of wood from under the pot, and the three of them walked into the mountain forest together.

Liu Yan watched her retreating figure, feeling melancholy. She was always alone.

Whether in places he couldn’t see or among crowds, she always faced everything alone, as if she never needed to ask anyone for help.

Tang Lici’s carriage was right beside them, yet neither of them had thought to ask him for help.

The sounds of the three people pushing through thorns and penetrating deep into the forest gradually faded, and that faint firelight slowly disappeared. Tang Lici must have heard the sounds, yet he never asked what was happening.

After a while, the forest became quiet again. Liu Yan held Fengfeng, listening to the sounds in the forest. The quieter it became, the more uneasy he felt. Fengfeng had eaten her fill and slept enough, becoming spirited, staring at Liu Yan with wide eyes. Looking and looking, she suddenly began crying loudly: “Ahhhh, mama mama mama… yayayayaya…”

The little infant struggled desperately. Liu Yan was vexed and flustered, his hands busy and confused. Fengfeng cried even harder, waving her hands: “Mama mama mama… yayayayaya…”

“What’s wrong?” A voice finally came from Tang Lici’s carriage. Someone asked in a soft, beautiful voice, “Is the child hungry?”