Hearing the Crown Prince’s words, Lin Hong showed no sign of anger, only repeated sadly: “Home…” The corners of his mouth showed a tendency to turn upward, but ultimately he couldn’t manage to smile. After pondering for a moment, he looked up at the Crown Prince, but his gaze seemed to see through him to Zhenzhen, quite tenderly: “The peach tree, how graceful! Its leaves are lush. The bride goes to her new home, bringing harmony to the household… This poem suits Zhenzhen well. If she likes someone, she treats them with a pure heart. Give her even a little kindness, and she responds with a bright smile. When she’s around, every cold day seems to become spring.”
The Crown Prince sensed the emotion in this and asked impassively: “You still like her?”
“I’m grateful to have met her,” Lin Hong said.
There was a brief silence between them, then Lin Hong continued: “On the surface she’s lively, bold, and spirited, but she’s actually sensitive and thoughtful, never speaking of her inner sadness. My connection with her in this life is shallow—through all the twists and turns, I have failed her greatly. But I never doubt that whoever she marries, she will love her husband wholeheartedly and be a virtuous wife. If that person is Your Highness, I hope Your Highness can treat her with the cherishing and protection given to family members, to soothe her anxieties and grievances.”
After speaking, he stood and bowed deeply to the Crown Prince, then turned and left without waiting for a response.
The small dragon ball tea was extremely rare, more precious than gold. Zhenzhen couldn’t bear to drink it herself and decided to take it to the Crown Princess. Upon entering the Crown Princess’s quarters and hearing it was tea prepared by the Crown Prince, the Crown Princess happily accepted it, had her sit down, and said to her with a gentle countenance: “I was just looking for you.” She then gestured to Meng Yunxiu behind her, who brought out a document for Zhenzhen to see.
Zhenzhen asked in surprise: “What is this?”
The Crown Princess said: “I heard the Crown Prince visited your courtyard a few days ago… I previously promised to give you a title, and I won’t go back on my word. I’m preparing to petition His Majesty to enfeoff you as a Commandery Lady. This is a memorial I had Yunxiu draft for me—take a look and see if the wording is appropriate.”
Zhenzhen unfolded it and glanced through it, finding the memorial elegantly written with many flattering phrases, describing her character as “gentle and virtuous, prudent in conduct” and praising her wholehearted service to the Crown Prince as “diligent and untiring, reverent and respectful.” It then requested that she be enfeoffed as a Commandery Lady and taken as the Crown Prince’s concubine.
Zhenzhen folded the memorial and returned it to Meng Yunxiu, saying with a smile: “The language is truly beautiful—I rarely hear such words. Sister has written them so well. But I’m not nearly so good as described—I fear I don’t deserve such excessive praise.”
Meng Yunxiu was tall and elegant with refined bearing, but exceptionally thin, standing behind the Crown Princess like faint smoke or sparse willows. Since being rescued from her suicide attempt, her voice had remained hoarse, and now she spoke even less. Hearing Zhenzhen’s words, she only smiled politely and said nothing.
Zhenzhen stood and bowed to the Crown Princess: “I thank the Crown Princess for her kind intentions, but when the Crown Prince came to my place that night, he only sat and talked with me, ate some snacks, and quickly returned—he didn’t spend the night. Both the Crown Prince and I feel it would be better for me to continue as Food Management for now—it’s not yet time for me to become a concubine.”
“But isn’t it bound to happen sooner or later?” the Crown Princess said. “It’s fine for me to submit the petition first—when we set the auspicious date, we can then perform the ceremony.”
Zhenzhen still wouldn’t accept: “There’s no rush for this matter. Let’s first see what His Highness the Crown Prince thinks. When he feels it’s appropriate, it won’t be too late to submit the petition.”
The Crown Princess considered this and said: “Very well then. I’ll keep the memorial for now and submit it to His Majesty when the time is right.” Then, glancing at Meng Yunxiu, she said to Zhenzhen: “This memorial also represents Yunxiu’s feelings toward you. She’s about to leave the Eastern Palace, and before departing, she carefully wrote this essay for you, saying she wanted to thank you for handling last year’s matter.”
Zhenzhen was quite surprised: “Why is Sister Meng leaving? Where is she going?”
The Crown Princess sighed: “She says she doesn’t want to stay here, so I was preparing to ask my parents to arrange a marriage for her, but she firmly refuses, saying she has no intention of marrying. She wants to become a nun and spend her life with lamps and Buddha statues. My family has built a nunnery on Phoenix Mountain—I’ll have her taken there.”
Zhenzhen shook her head and said to Meng Yunxiu: “Sister, you have such talent. If you spend the rest of your life confined in a nunnery without being able to use your abilities, it would be truly regrettable.”
Meng Yunxiu said sadly: “My foster mother had me study and diligently learn poetry and literature from childhood, originally wanting to choose a scholar-official as my husband. With some learning, I could assist my husband and educate children. But fate played tricks—I missed good opportunities and have now fallen to this state. I’ve given up the thought of becoming anyone’s wife and only wish to find a quiet place to live out my remaining days.”
“Sister, did you study all those books only to assist a husband and educate children?” Zhenzhen earnestly advised. “If a woman has learning or masters a skill, she can completely live without depending on men. I seriously study cooking with the idea that if I leave the palace in the future, I can live by my culinary skills—whether opening a shop or teaching, I needn’t depend on a husband. Sister, if you don’t want to marry, why not put all your energy into what you’re good at?”
“What I’m good at…” Meng Yunxiu looked thoughtful.
Zhenzhen nodded and continued: “I heard there’s a vacancy for the Secretary position under the Ceremonial Department. The Ceremonial Department oversees palace etiquette instruction, and the Secretary manages palace books, teaching, and writing materials—it’s very important. This time the Empress decided not to promote by seniority and ordered the Ceremonial Department to openly recruit from among the palace women, requiring only those with outstanding talent for this position. I think sister would be very suitable—why not apply for the examination? Once selected, sister could teach the palace women and even be like Ban Zhao, becoming a teacher for consorts and princesses. If you have writings, they could be passed down to posterity, leaving your mark in history. Wouldn’t such a career be more meaningful than hiding away and aimlessly wasting your remaining years?”
Hearing this, the Crown Princess also looked pleased and urged Meng Yunxiu: “What Zhenzhen says makes great sense. Since there’s this opportunity, you might as well try applying. Even if you don’t succeed, it won’t be too late if you still want to leave the palace then.”
Meng Yunxiu pondered for a long while and finally nodded in agreement.
Zhenzhen then took her leave. The Crown Princess had Meng Yunxiu escort her out, and Meng Yunxiu stopped at the quarters’ entrance to thank Zhenzhen. Zhenzhen smiled: “I should be the one thanking you.”
“Really?” Meng Yunxiu said with a smile. “I was worried I had written something wrong that would displease you.”
“The language is all very good. If I must mention something wrong, there is one thing.” Zhenzhen told her: “The ‘zhen’ in my name is the grass radical with the character for ‘true’ beneath it. Sister wrote it as the ‘zhen’ from ‘its leaves are lush.'”
“Zhenzhen?” Meng Yunxiu seemed startled, looking Zhenzhen up and down anew, then asked: “Where are you from? What is your mother’s surname?”
Zhenzhen said: “I’m from Pujiang. My mother’s surname is Wu… What’s wrong?”
“Oh,” the light in Meng Yunxiu’s eyes dimmed slightly, and she smiled faintly: “Nothing. I just suddenly felt you resembled someone I once knew.”
Zhenzhen returned to Zhanlü Hall, first looking around before bowing to the Crown Prince. The Crown Prince understood and told her: “Lin Hong has already left.”
Zhenzhen lowered her head to avoid his searching gaze and silently went forward to clear the cups.
“You still care about him very much,” the Crown Prince stated.
“Your Highness,” Zhenzhen stopped her actions and turned to face him, “have I behaved improperly? I didn’t even look at him.”
“I’m not blaming you—don’t be so nervous.” The Crown Prince smiled. “I know you’ve been avoiding looking at him. But if you had completely let go of someone in your heart, facing him would be no different from facing anyone else. You would speak when you should speak, laugh when you should laugh, and wouldn’t deliberately avoid eye contact with him.”
Zhenzhen had no response. The Crown Prince continued: “After you left, I said something provocative to him, but he has such good grace that he didn’t get angry at all. Instead, he spoke some heartfelt words to me.”
Zhenzhen looked up at him in surprise, so the Crown Prince recounted his “poor household management” comment and Lin Hong’s subsequent response. When Zhenzhen heard Lin Hong say “I’m grateful to have met her,” she couldn’t help but shed tears. Not wanting to cry in front of the Crown Prince, she wiped away each tear with the back of her hand as it fell.
The Crown Prince rose and came over, taking his own handkerchief to wipe Zhenzhen’s tears, saying gently: “Though saying this does me no good, I still want to tell you—he still has feelings for you. When he spoke of you, there was light in his eyes, and that cannot be feigned.”
Zhenzhen said sadly: “It’s all in the past. Whether he has these feelings or not doesn’t matter anymore.”
The Crown Prince guided her to sit across from him: “I’ve never asked about what happened between you two, but now I very much want to know—since you still have feelings for each other, why did you separate?”
Zhenzhen was silent for a moment, then said slowly: “There was always someone in his heart whom he regarded like the Goddess of the Luo River. He had her portrait hanging in his home and would often gaze at it lost in thought. Later, when he met me, though he had happy times with me, he could never forget her. When dizzy, he would even mistake me for her. But I liked him too much—I was willing to endure it as long as I could be with him. But I never expected that in the end, he still wouldn’t deceive himself… He refused the Empress Dowager’s bestowed marriage, probably because he realized I could never replace the one he loved, and since he could never have her in this life, he might as well be wedded to plum blossoms and cranes…”
Speaking to this point, she looked at the Crown Prince through her tears: “Your Highness, at that moment I also understood that his heart was always the realm I could least reach.”
The Crown Prince gazed at her sympathetically and asked: “That person is Consort Liu Jieyu, isn’t it?”
Zhenzhen’s eyelids lowered, and she said nothing.
“This is quite obvious,” the Crown Prince said. “I hear Lin Hong and Consort Liu Jieyu grew up together in Wuyi Mountain. With their matching talents and beauty, it’s not surprising they developed romantic feelings.”
“Yes, they spent ten years together,” Zhenzhen smiled sadly. “But my time with Lin Hong adds up to less than a year. Even if he has feelings for me, they’re limited. What can I compare to their ten years of mutual support?”
The Crown Prince wiped away another tear about to fall and, seeing tear stains on the back of her hand, took it to wipe them all clean before saying: “The depth of feelings isn’t really measured by the years spent together.”
“Then is it measured by who came first? Is the first person you love hard to forget?” Zhenzhen suddenly asked him. “Your Highness, how did you forget Feng Jing?”
The Crown Prince immediately fell silent, looking down in thought for a long time before looking at Zhenzhen again and seriously answering her question: “I didn’t forget her. She will always remain in my memory as a page I greatly treasure. She saw our future very clearly—my status and circumstances meant I could never meet her expectations about marriage. So as she said, neither of us would look back, there was no mutual pursuit, only individual progress. People don’t live for yesterday—they must always look forward. Wallowing in licking yesterday’s wounds only makes one increasingly dispirited and indifferent to the present.”
His expression gradually softened, and he now smiled at her: “Zhenzhen, I hope you can think like I do. Yesterday has already passed in fragments—let’s not lose today as well.”
Zhenzhen met his gaze and tried to smile.
Seeing her smile while her beautiful eyes remained moist, shining with a delicate, dim light, he couldn’t help but feel moved and pitiful. He leaned forward and politely asked her opinion: “I want to hold you like a big brother would—may I?”
But Zhenzhen, having been enlightened by Xiangli’er’s guidance last time, suddenly understood by analogy and said straightforwardly: “Your Highness, such a big brother wouldn’t hold his little sister.”
The Crown Prince was momentarily stunned, then sat back straight, covering his face and laughing. Seeing this, Zhenzhen also laughed, and the two laughed together for a long time, dissolving both her sadness and his embarrassment in their laughter.