Over these past several months, a scene kept flashing through Li Wu’s mind. It was that afternoon during the summer break after high school graduation when he confessed his feelings to Cen Jin. She had asked him:

“What would you do if I never actually got divorced?”

His answer then was: “I would keep loving you silently. I wouldn’t date anyone, wouldn’t get married, and would love only you until I die, but I wouldn’t disturb your life.”

He had confidently believed that those nearly two years in high school had already made him fully accustomed to keeping his feelings hidden in the shadows. So when she met someone who could make her happy, someone more suitable and better matched, he would keep his promise and once again suppress himself, retreating to the background of her life, returning to how things were before.

From beginning to end, he only ever had one option: loving her. If forced to draw a clear line between black and white, it could only be between loving her loudly and loving her silently. But she was different – she could have options A, B, C, D, or even more.

So he dared not ask too much; he had no right to. He had once been her financial burden – how could he now become her emotional burden as well?

What he feared most was discovering the worst possible outcome.

He kept comforting himself with wishful thinking: What if she was just being ambiguous? What if she broke up with that person? What if he still had a chance?

But he had overestimated himself. After actually making this choice, every day became torture, with dignity and degradation tearing at each other inside him. He desperately yearned for Cen Jin to turn back to him, not with the tone of an elder, but with the need between a man and a woman. He imagined moments when he might gather the courage to embrace her, even if she already had any kind of morally binding relationship – perhaps while studying in the library, running with all his might on the track field, or lying alone in bed late at night. These transgressive fantasies would surface uncontrollably, and in that second, he would feel dazed, detached, greedy, and agitated, his heart cut like a knife.

His thoughts struggled violently before finally settling into death-like stillness.

After several months of alternating between stagnant waters and raging currents, Li Wu finally faced his ultimate judgment.

Though “judgment” might not be the right word, as it seemed to allow no objection.

It was more like an announcement, declaring their complete liberation, not even requiring him to make any appeal.

That kite string was finally, completely severed.

For these past months, he had been floating aimlessly behind the clouds, carefully peering at the people on the ground, not daring to dive down directly.

He was free now.

But the moment he saw the text message, Li Wu’s heart was pierced as if by a bullet, followed by pain surging through his limbs and organs. He could barely stand, his mind foggy, as he collapsed into a chair.

A senior female student noticed his pale face and asked with concern: “Li Wu, what’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell?”

The young man took a deep breath, shook his head saying “It’s nothing,” then clasped his hands together, wringing them until his knuckles turned white and made slight cracking sounds.

The instruments hummed softly as Li Wu faced his computer, finding himself unable to focus on analyzing the data anymore.

He suddenly stood up, looked around at the few people present, said “I’m sorry, I need to step out,” and walked toward the door.

Just after stepping out, the young man realized he was still wearing his gloves, so he hurried back to take them off before running out into the hallway again.

He sprinted to the school gate, called a car, his face flushed red and his T-shirt soaked with sweat.

Along the way, he frantically called Cen Jin’s phone again and again, but it was always powered off. It felt like that night in his second year of high school when Cen Jin hadn’t come home, leaving him in disordered panic and unbearable pain.

—

After sending that message to Li Wu, Cen Jin turned off her phone. She had taken two days off work, solely to focus on celebrating her thirtieth birthday.

She refused her parents’ offer to organize a grand banquet, only arranging to go wild at Disneyland with Chun Chang.

The two thirty-year-old women wore puffy dresses, like two carefree princesses.

They tried on various cute headbands, bouncing and jumping around, eating and drinking, weaving through one fairy tale world after another, striking silly poses for photos in front of the castle, laughing, running, never tiring.

After watching the fireworks and leaving the park at night, they changed into revealing dresses in the car and went to Yi City’s most expensive nightclub to dance.

After a few drinks, Cen Jin pulled Chun Chang onto the surreal dance floor. The women swayed and glided among the excited crowd, smooth and alluring like ethereal jellyfish that couldn’t be caught.

They partied until nearly two o’clock.

The pre-birthday celebration was thoroughly enjoyable and satisfying. Cen Jin, dizzy and entranced, headed home with a flushed face.

The taxi dropped her off at the entrance to the residential complex. The woman in the spaghetti-strap dress picked up her shoulder bag and paper bag, got out of the car, and walked toward home with clouded eyes.

Her skin was snow-white, and as she walked, her dress flowed like mercury over her body, like a nocturnal enchantress.

The surroundings were quiet except for chirping insects and flower shadows.

Having endured loud noise all night, Cen Jin rather enjoyed the current tranquility, unconsciously narrowing her eyes in contentment.

She hummed a tuneless melody, walking home with a smile.

As she approached home, Cen Jin’s smile suddenly froze. In the night, she saw a tall shadow standing at the bottom of the building’s steps, without anything to lean on. He must have been waiting for a long time, his whole body emanating a numbing weariness.

But his eyes remained quiet, showing no impatience or fatigue, like an ice plain, like a starlit lake.

As their eyes met, the slightly sultry summer breeze stirred the woman’s dress, and the young man’s hair was also somewhat disheveled.

Her good mood instantly vanished. Cen Jin withdrew her gaze and walked straight toward the building entrance, refusing to look sideways.

Her steps were no longer light; her red-soled stilettos clicked sharply and urgently against the ground.

As if not recognizing him at all, Cen Jin walked straight past him.

Just as she unlocked the building door, a low call suddenly came from behind: “Jiejie.”

Those two words were like a brief binding spell. Cen Jin unconsciously paused for a moment, then furrowed her brow slightly, pulled open the door, and hurried inside.

“Jiejie.” His voice grew louder, carrying an unmistakable desperation in its hoarseness.

Cen Jin’s heart trembled violently. She stopped in front of the elevator and pressed the up button twice.

The elevator doors opened immediately. Cen Jin just wanted to return to her safe zone as quickly as possible, not wanting any more eye contact or communication with this person.

Despite her apparent indifference, the young man quickly followed, slipping into the elevator with her.

Cen Jin’s expression darkened as if she had erected an impenetrable shield. But she still ignored Li Wu, staring at the elevator doors as they slowly closed.

They stood side by side in the elevator, without any sound.

The woman was exquisitely made up, glamorous, and graceful, while the young man had waited for over ten hours, his black T-shirt crusted with salt from dried sweat.

Seeing her motionless, Li Wu stepped forward, pressed the familiar floor number, and then retreated to her side.

After reaching their floor, Cen Jin walked out again, followed by the young man’s footsteps at almost the same frequency, matching her stride for stride.

The dimly lit corridor suddenly seemed extraordinarily long, as if haunted by evil spirits. Cen Jin just wanted to shake him off quickly. She gripped the handles of her shopping bag tighter and walked faster.

At this moment, the young man pursuing her spoke again, his voice unusually clear in the quiet night: “Don’t you want to hear my answer?”

Cen Jin’s steps abruptly halted. Without turning around, she coldly threw out five words: “Do you have the right?”

The young man’s tone remained unchanged: “Why don’t I have the right? These were the rules you set.”

The woman laughed, her fair shoulder blades lifting slightly: “The first person to break the agreement already forfeited by default.”

She continued walking.

Li Wu gazed at her back, inexplicably reminded of the second time he saw her. She had walked ahead of him then too, thin and proud like a white lotus.

He hadn’t dared approach her then.

Could he have imagined at that time how difficult, painful, and bitter the path of pursuing her would be?

His heart felt like it was being torn apart bit by bit: “How did I break the agreement? Weren’t you the one who broke it first?”

Those words thoroughly provoked Cen Jin. She turned around, pointing at herself, chin raised proudly: “Are you trying to deflect blame? You know perfectly well how you’ve treated me these past few months.”

The scene from the end of the year that had pierced him was still vivid in his mind. Li Wu’s breathing grew heavy, his eyes reddening, yet he didn’t know how to express himself.

Cen Jin couldn’t stand those wet eyes of his, brimming with deep emotion, cutting into her chest with waves of pain.

Playing the devoted lover.

She snorted dismissively, leaving him behind as she continued toward home. Stopping at her door, Cen Jin was about to unlock it when her wrist was suddenly seized. She jerked hard but couldn’t break free, forcing her to turn around again.

Her skin hurt where he gripped her. Face flushed, she could only glare with wide eyes, warning angrily: “Let go.”

The young man acted as if he hadn’t heard, his tall frame looming threateningly, as if he could press her right into the recessed doorway. His jaw was tense, his eyes dark: “That night before New Year’s, right in front of your company, you were walking with a man, embracing intimately. I saw it.”

He emphasized the last four words heavily, then released his fingers, almost shouting: “Who broke the agreement first?”

Cen Jin was stunned, taking a few seconds to recall, barely remembering something. She touched her reddened wrist, her lips curling in contempt: “That was my boss and my friend.”

“He likes men.”

“What’s wrong with me hugging him?”

She shook her bag violently, tilting her head to look directly at him: “Should we call him now to confirm?”

Li Wu was instantly speechless, all the hostility draining from his body. His eyes, after returning to normal, quickly reddened again. Vast and surging regret, like a tsunami, like a hurricane, engulfed him instantly. His throat constricted, nearly suffocating him.

Cen Jin’s nose also tingled slightly. So that was it.

Everything is connected now. All those glass shards that had been cutting and wearing her down for months finally formed a complete picture. She had been anxious and insecure over such a ridiculous reason.

Wasn’t it ironic? Cen Jin laughed mockingly, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand as if trying to quickly brush away thoughts and emotions her brain could no longer handle. She looked at him again, her gaze sharp and unwavering: “Just because of this? You treated me this way for so long? Li Wu, this is why I say you have no right. I’m the only one who truly upheld the spirit of our agreement from beginning to end, while you didn’t even dare to ask, and instead used cold violence to punish me. Just like when you chose your school – presumptuous, immature, impulsive. Someone like you, how dare you demand an answer from me?”

Li Wu stared at her intently: “But did you ever ask me? Did you care about my feelings and changes?”

Cen Jin was much shorter than him, but her presence was no less commanding. She spoke with conviction: “Why should I ask you? You were the first to turn away, just like my ex-husband. I have nothing to say except that I’m thoroughly disappointed in you.”

She desperately swallowed the sob threatening to emerge in her voice and struggled to keep her face expressionless: “Our one-year agreement is over. Today is my birthday, and my good mood was completely ruined the moment I saw you. I don’t want to see you again. Let’s end it here. Don’t come looking for me anymore.”

The young man’s bright, vibrant eyes gradually took on a layer of melancholy. They slowly dimmed and withered in response to the woman’s words, losing their life.

And his chest, after rising and falling violently, also slowly stilled, like the electrocardiogram of someone approaching death – reaching a peak, then flattening into a lifeless straight line.

He stood silently for a while, then suddenly began frantically searching his pants pockets, pulling out an exquisite gift box that had remained unopened for eight months. He held it out stiffly, speaking just as stiffly: “Jiejie, happy birthday.”

Cen Jin’s lips twitched slightly. She took it with one hand, smiling faintly: “Thank you.”

Li Wu said nothing more. After a moment, he turned and walked in the opposite direction, his legs heavy as if weighted with lead.

Cen Jin slumped against the door panel with a thud, letting her eyes overflow freely. She watched the young man’s uncertain silhouette for a while, then looked down at the pink box in her hand, tugged at the corner of her mouth, and tossed it into her bag.

A few seconds later, the young man with unsteady steps suddenly halted. In an instant, as if his soul had returned to his body, he strode back with purposeful steps.

He stopped in front of the woman, his shadow falling directly over her, his eyes fixed straight on her.

Cen Jin grew uncomfortable under his gaze. Just as she was about to speak, the young man cupped her face in both hands and bent down without hesitation.

Their lips pressed tightly together.

Cen Jin’s pupils contracted sharply, her mind exploding, heat spreading everywhere. Before she could push him away, Li Wu had already released her – he had only kissed her once.

An electric numbness coursed up her spine, then spread throughout her body. Cen Jin trembled in every pore, staring back at him in disbelief.

The woman’s chest heaved as she struggled to keep her voice level, trying to appear completely calm: “What does this mean? Another birthday gift?”

“Remember what I asked you last year? What would happen if I kissed you?” Li Wu was breathing heavily, seeming to argue with someone, so agitated his veins stood out: “I regret it so much – why did I wait a year? I should have kissed you last year, damn the consequences!”

His eyes were completely red, his voice trembling to near hoarseness: “I like you, Cen Jin, and I still like you now, I have to tell you – I’ve been waiting for this day all year. Not just a year, this will be my answer for life. I’ll like you until I die, only you, whether you like me or not, even if you never want to see—”

Before he could finish, with a clang, the shopping bag fell to the ground as the woman’s slender white arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his upper body down to her.

The young man’s hot breath covered her, along with his soft lips, his shocked expression, his red ears, his purity, his passion – all his scents – she didn’t want to let any of it go anymore.

Last summer, he had planted a seed in her mind. It was the soft soil of her heart, the fertile ground of her emotions, that had allowed it to grow wild, beyond control.

But what of it?

Today, right now, from this moment on, regardless of right or wrong, whether sweet or poisonous, she would harvest and savor the fruit she had cultivated with her own hands.