After playing to her heart’s content, Jiang Mu’s trouser cuffs and shoes were completely wet. As soon as she got in the car, she shivered continuously: “Brother, I’m so cold, why is it so cold?”
Jin Chao turned up the heater and said to her: “Take off your shoes.”
Jiang Mu removed her ice-cold wet shoes and socks. Her feet were nearly numb from the cold, and she kept trying to huddle closer to Jin Chao. He glanced down at her curled-up form, could only turn sideways to fasten her seatbelt, and said helplessly: “Sit properly, I’m driving.”
The snow in the residential complex was already very deep, and the car couldn’t get in. Jin Chao had to park outside. He got out and went around to the passenger side, turning his back to her. Jiang Mu grabbed her shoes and climbed onto Jin Chao’s back. He wrapped her feet, which were clasped around his front, in his coat as he carried her deeper into the complex.
Jin Chao used to carry her like this when she was little. Every time they went to the model shop, if he and his friends played for too long, Jiang Mu would fall asleep on the small sofa nearby. She always fell asleep suddenly as a child – playing one moment and suddenly drowsy the next. Every time, it was Jin Chao who carried her home.
People at their doorstep would always laugh at how the older child was carrying the younger one, but even then, Jin Chao never had the heart to wake her. Of course, most times even if he wanted to wake her, he couldn’t.
But now Jin Chao had grown into a mature man. His back was broad and gave a sense of security that made Jiang Mu unconsciously bury her face in the crook of his neck. His body carried the fresh mint scent from his shower and a faint trace of alcohol, which intoxicated her slightly.
Her sweet breath crept in through his collar. His steps didn’t falter, but his neck stiffened slightly as he asked, “Sleepy?”
Jiang Mu made a soft “mm” sound, and Jin Chao carried her up to the fifth floor. She had truly thought he would never carry her upstairs like this again as he did when she was little. The dark stairwell, the lingering heartbeats, and the quiet night turned this scene into an old memory. Jiang Mu felt as if she had returned to her childhood, becoming once again that person who could rely on Jin Chao without reservation, following her heart’s desires.
At Jin Qiang’s door, Jin Chao said to her: “Open the door.”
“Let me get down first.”
Jin Chao reached back with one hand, wrapped it around her waist, and lifted her directly to his front. Jiang Mu didn’t know how he managed it – his strength was truly impressive. In the darkness, she only felt her body shift before finding herself in front of him, but he never let her feet touch the ground.
Jiang Mu stood barefoot on his shoes as she fumbled for the house key. Jin Chao’s hand hovered at her waist, protecting her. His breath fell on the top of her head, their bodies almost touching.
Jiang Mu lifted her gaze. The burning light in his eyes reached deep into her heart. Standing before him, within his grasp, she felt as if she were melting in his gaze, her consciousness so hazy she even forgot about getting the key.
Seeing her freeze, Jin Chao lowered his gaze to her soft features. That once round little face had grown into the current captivating profile, her eyes seeming misty. He had imagined many times how she would look when she grew up, each version carrying the cuteness and innocence of childhood, but he had never imagined that the girl who had always remained a child in his memories would be like this today – her features carrying a young woman’s charm. Though still somewhat girlishly immature, this raw, shy demeanor was lethal to a man.
His hand tightened around her waist as he lowered his head, lips slightly pressed together, his Adam’s apple sliding slowly with the play of light and shadow. At that moment, Jiang Mu’s mind went blank, her eyes flickering, her heart-stopping from nervousness.
However, Jin Chao merely bent down to take the key from her pocket, straightened up to open the door, and lifted Jiang Mu onto the soft doormat before getting her slippers.
After Jiang Mu’s feet touched the ground, her breathing remained suspended, the air in her chest seemingly stolen away, unable to breathe normally, her mind dizzy.
Her trouser cuffs were wet, so she hurriedly went back to her room to get clean clothes. During this time, neither of them said a word. Jiang Mu suddenly felt at a loss, not knowing what to say, but she didn’t understand why Jin Chao hadn’t spoken either after entering – he just walked to the fish tank and tapped it, checking on the two turtles Jin Xin kept.
When Jiang Mu was about to enter the bathroom with her clothes, she turned back to see Jin Chao had picked up his car keys from the table again. She quickly asked, “Brother, are you leaving?”
Jin Chao turned to look at her: “What else would I do?”
Jiang Mu blinked, the air flowing silently. Her voice was soft but carried an irresistible gentleness: “When we were little, we always stayed up for New Year’s together. You would tell me many interesting stories to keep me awake. You haven’t told me stories for so long.”
Jin Chao laughed: “You never could stay awake through even one story.”
“This time I won’t sleep.”
Jin Chao lowered his gaze and after a few seconds reminded her: “You’re not little anymore.”
Though even he didn’t know if these words were meant to remind her or himself.
Jiang Mu understood Jin Chao’s meaning. She wasn’t a child anymore; they couldn’t carelessly lie together and let their imaginations run wild like before. But she truly missed those days. For many years, she had spent New Year’s Eve alone. This year, she didn’t want to be alone anymore. Jiang Mu sniffled and said: “I’ll always be little compared to you.”
She finished speaking and looked at him with glistening eyes: “Okay?”
Jin Chao checked his phone: “One hour at most.”
Jiang Mu quickly went to the bathroom for a quick wash and changed into her fluffy pajamas. Jin Qiang lived in an old building where the heating wasn’t very effective. After coming out, she ran to her room and called Jin Chao in the living room: “Brother, can you bring me the hair dryer?”
After saying this, she sat on the bed and smiled. If they hadn’t separated and had continued living together, would it have been like this? Making casual requests of each other over daily matters.
Soon Jin Chao came in with the hair dryer, walked to the bedside to plug it in, and was about to hand it to her when Jiang Mu had already instinctively moved to the edge of the bed and stretched her head out. Jin Chao could only turn on the hot air and stand by the bed drying her hair.
He remembered she had long hair as a child, having to get up early every day for kindergarten to braid it, always sitting on a small stool dozing with her eyes closed. Back then, he could never understand how someone could sleep sitting up, but later discovered she could not only sleep sitting but standing as well.
One summer vacation morning when Jiang Yinghan had gone out on errands, Jiang Mu woke up and couldn’t find her mom, so she hugged her little rabbit and ran to his room, pulled back his blanket corner, crawled into his bed, and buried her head in his chest to continue sleeping. He could still remember how she looked that morning with her hair all disheveled. He heated the meal Jiang Yinghan had left for her, but when she lowered her head, her hair fell into the bowl. She insisted he help her tie up her hair before she would eat.
He had no idea how to do a little girl’s hair but could only fumble through it himself. After struggling for half an hour, he ended up giving her a head full of little braids that made her look like an alien. When they went out, the Wang kid downstairs made fun of her, chasing her and calling her Garden Baby Oopsie-Daisy. For a long time after that, all the neighborhood kids called her Oopsie-Daisy.
Little Mu Mu was so upset she ran back crying to Jin Chao, demanding he learn properly how to braid hair. So this big boy actually learned how to braid hair.
Now Jiang Mu no longer needed braids – her hair was short, sticking up messily when blown by the wind, but still with that same soft texture.
From the corner of her eye, Jiang Mu could still see that dartboard. The letters had been tied back when she left, but now she knew that behind them lay their years of thoughts for each other, making her heart feel as if it were filled with honey.
The warm air passed from her roots, Jin Chao’s long fingers running through her hair strands, very light, very gentle, very comfortable.
She closed her eyes and said to him: “Before, didn’t you say you’d go to Dad’s for New Year’s?”
Mixed with the sound of the hair dryer came Jin Chao’s low magnetic voice, speaking casually: “Aren’t I back now?”
Jiang Mu felt uncomfortable in her heart. Although she didn’t have many family members during New Year’s either, Jiang Yinghan had never remarried, so she could at least be with her mom. But Jin Chao’s situation was different from hers. He could get along with Jin Qiang and Zhao Meijuan, but going to Zhao Meijuan’s parents’ home would still feel out of place.
So had he spent all these years celebrating New Year’s alone?
Jiang Mu couldn’t bring herself to ask, but just thinking about it made her heart ache. She unconsciously rested her head against his chest. Jin Chao’s hand holding the hair dryer paused, his brows slightly furrowed. After a few seconds, he turned the air down one level and called out: “Mu Mu.”
Jiang Mu’s voice came muffled from his chest with an “mm.”
“You…”
He only got out the word “you,” the rest of his words caught in his throat. After a while, he finally asked: “Did your mom say anything to you when she came this time?”
“About what?”
“Since she mentioned my debt, she must have told you to keep your distance from me, right?”
Jiang Mu lowered her head without speaking. Jin Chao’s expression remained tense as he silently finished drying her hair, then turned off the hair dryer preparing to leave. But Jiang Mu suddenly grabbed the hem of his clothes. Jin Chao turned back, and she showed her face from behind her hair, saying to him: “What if Dad said the same thing to you?”
“If I were the one in trouble today, and Jin Qiang told you to keep your distance from me, would you agree?”
Jiang Mu then answered for him: “You wouldn’t, so why should I listen to Mom?”
Jin Chao just casually dropped: “Mm, I can see you’ve entered your rebellious phase now.”
Jiang Mu giggled at his retreating figure.
Jin Chao put away the hair dryer, and Jiang Mu called out to him: “Brother, I want water.”
Soon Jin Chao came back with two cups, handed her water to her, and said: “So demanding, no wonder you said you won’t get married. Quite self-aware.”
Jiang Mu took the cup and smiled: “How do you know I won’t be a good wife in the future?”
Jin Chao pulled a cushion over and placed it on the floor by the bed, then leaned against the bedside cabinet, curving his eyes as he evaluated: “Difficult.”
Jiang Mu protested: “I can be gentle, virtuous, and understanding. You don’t know.”
Jin Chao raised his eyebrows and glanced at her sideways: “Do I know this person you’re talking about?”
Jiang Mu grabbed her pillow to hit him. Jin Chao blocked it with his hand, laughing as he took the pillow and said: “And violent tendencies too. Better not harm anyone.”
Jiang Mu huffed: “I won’t harm anyone else, just you.”
Jin Chao’s face still carried a faint smile, but he lowered his gaze and put the pillow on his lap, no longer looking at her.
Jiang Mu suddenly realized what she had said and bit her lip that had spoken so carelessly, behaving herself.
One leaning against the headboard, one sitting on the floor, Jin Chao’s sudden silence made Jiang Mu nervous again. She secretly looked at him. Steam rose from the cup in his hand, the smoke merging with the air into an ambiguous fragrance. The night was very quiet, and they were very close. The stimulating sense of taboo made Jiang Mu afraid to move.
Jin Chao slowly took a sip of hot water and handed the pillow to her: “Really planning not to sleep?”
Jiang Mu shook her head: “I still need to sleep. I’m going to see Lightning tomorrow, want to come?”
“After you wake up.”
“I won’t be able to wake up, remember to call me.”
Jin Chao looked at the time. Afraid he would leave, Jiang Mu put the pillow at the edge of the bed, rested her chin on it, and said: “Brother, can you tell me about when I was little? I can’t remember a lot of it.”
Jin Chao turned his head to look at her: “What do you want to hear?”
“I want to know what made Mom and Dad decide to divorce. I know they always argued, but there must have been something that made them make up their minds, right?”
Jin Chao raised his eyes slightly. The curtains cast moving shadows on the wall, seeming to throw his thoughts back to childhood.