Last week’s fierce winds had given way to this week’s gentle breeze. Early in the morning, Jiang Mu packed water and some simple snacks into her backpack. They had agreed to meet at 7:30 AM at her residential complex’s entrance. When she came out at 7:20, Jin Chao was already waiting.
He rarely wore athletic wear, but today he was dressed in all-black sportswear and sneakers, with a DSLR camera slung across his body. Jiang Mu stopped two or three meters behind him, silently watching. She felt suddenly dazed – perhaps it was his attire, but while their previous meetings had made him seem more mature, now he looked almost exactly as he had before tall and athletic, impossible to look away from.
Jin Chao turned around, saw she had arrived, and asked: “Why are you standing there?”
Jiang Mu walked toward him, responding: “Looking at how you haven’t changed. What about me? Have I changed much?”
Jin Chao studied her. Today she wore her hair in a ponytail, looking youthful and energetic, yet different from her teenage self. Back then, she had less experience and was more innocent and shy. Now she seemed much more sophisticated.
A fleeting smile crossed Jin Chao’s eyes: “Quite a bit.”
Jiang Mu pressed: “Was I prettier before or now?”
After asking, Jiang Mu remembered she had asked him similar questions before, and his skill at avoiding direct answers was superb. So just as Jin Chao was about to speak, she held up her hand to stop him: “I only want a three-word answer.”
This time Jin Chao replied promptly: “Both are pretty.”
Jiang Mu’s eyebrows finally curved in an uncontainable smile, and even the air seemed to carry a pleasant fragrance.
As they walked toward the hiking trail, Jin Chao handed Jiang Mu a rectangular phone box. She paused, then realized it was a newly released model – not cheap. She remembered Jin Chao saying a few days ago that he had something to give her but hadn’t expected it to be a new phone.
Somewhat bewildered, she asked: “Why are you giving me a phone?”
Jin Chao naturally took her backpack, slung it over his shoulder, and said: “Didn’t you say your phone was several years old and you wanted to change it? Since you’re often out, you should use a better one.”
Jiang Mu suddenly remembered her fabrication about her boyfriend using the phone money for equipment, and started laughing. Jin Chao stopped and asked: “Is it that funny?”
Jiang Mu’s eyes curved like crescents as she asked him: “Do you believe everything I say? You’ll easily get scammed by other girls like this.”
Jin Chao looked at her expressionlessly: “Are you other girls?”
Jiang Mu’s smile faded slightly as she moved closer, tilting her head to ask: “Then what am I?”
Jin Chao pressed his lips together without answering, taking the new phone and putting it in her backpack.
Jiang Mu asked seriously: “Before we start hiking, I must confirm – you’re still single, right?”
Jin Chao raised an eyebrow: “What does that have to do with hiking?”
Jiang Mu swung her arms as she replied: “Of course it matters. I’m a person of principle – I absolutely won’t interfere in others’ relationships, so I need to confirm.”
Jin Chao’s lips curved slightly: “Weren’t we just hiking? What are you planning to do to me on the mountain that involves interfering in relationships?”
That comment left Jiang Mu speechless, and somehow even created mental images, especially the phrase “do to me on the mountain.” She hadn’t thought about doing anything, but strange flashbacks of their time together suddenly appeared in her mind. She turned away awkwardly, muttering: “You seem to have no mental burden. Aren’t you worried about giving me a phone? Won’t my boyfriend mind?”
Jin Chao replied frankly: “If he minds, why doesn’t he buy one himself?”
Jiang Mu laughed: “That won’t work, he needs to buy equipment.”
“…”
Jin Chao ignored her and walked ahead. Jiang Mu caught up, laughing, and asked: “You’ve hiked here before, right?”
“No.”
Jiang Mu exclaimed in surprise: “No? The coffee shop is so close to the mountain, you’ve never come up?”
Jin Chao made a sound of agreement.
“I come hiking here often on weekends. The air is good – you should come up more often.”
Jin Chao remained silent, just looking at the stone path beneath his feet.
Weekend mornings always brought many hikers. Though it had been cool at first, they soon warmed up from climbing. Usually when Jiang Mu hiked alone, she wore earphones and climbed quite quickly, but today with Jin Chao, he walked slowly, and she unconsciously matched his pace.
Every so often, Jin Chao would stop to take some photos. Jiang Mu wondered aloud: “Since when did you become so interested in photography?”
Jin Chao took a few casual shots and rested. Jiang Mu came closer to look, asking: “What can you photograph about dead branches and leaves?”
Jin Chao put away his camera and replied: “It’s abstract.”
“I don’t get it.”
Jin Chao told her leisurely: “Capturing nature’s soul.”
Jiang Mu’s shoelace had come undone. She stopped to crouch down and tie it, saying: “How come I never noticed before that you could talk such nonsense?”
As she stood up after tying her lace, the jade pendant slipped out from her collar. Jin Chao’s gaze lingered on her collarbone, his eyes freezing slightly. Jiang Mu followed his gaze, looked down, and hurriedly tucked the pendant back into her clothes, turning around to walk ahead as if nothing had happened.
Jin Chao followed behind her, his voice carrying a hint of playfulness: “Wearing a necklace from your ex-boyfriend – your current boyfriend doesn’t mind?”
Jiang Mu was caught by her own words thrown back at her. She turned around defiantly and said: “You’re too slow. Let’s race!”
Jin Chao calmly lowered his gaze: “No racing.”
“Why? Afraid you can’t keep up?”
Jin Chao stood at the bottom of the steps, warm light framing his figure, his eyes emanating a serene light as he told her: “I can’t keep up.”
Jiang Mu crossed her arms and looked back at him: “How do you know without trying? Whoever reaches the top first buys KFC.”
With that, Jiang Mu started climbing. After climbing quite far, she looked back to see Jin Chao still standing in the same spot, quietly watching her. Jiang Mu put her hands on her hips and called out: “What’s wrong with you? Already tired after this little distance?”
Waves stirred in Jin Chao’s eyes as he pressed his lips together and started walking toward her. Though he had quickened his pace, he still couldn’t catch up. As he watched Jiang Mu grow smaller in his vision, his gaze tightened. That feeling of wanting to hold on but being unable to was just like that year when he watched her get into San Lai’s car.
Jiang Mu stopped to look back at him. He was still far behind, so she turned and walked back to him, only to see fine beads of sweat on his forehead.
She asked in surprise: “Are you that tired? Do you not exercise enough?”
Jin Chao smiled faintly: “You go ahead, I’ll catch up.”
Jiang Mu tilted her head, confused, opening her mouth but stopping herself. Jin Chao straightened up, looking down at her: “Haven’t you heard of conserving strength for a final push?”
Jiang Mu pursed her lips and turned away, saying: “I’ll wait at the top.”
Then she truly climbed on without looking back, soon disappearing from Jin Chao’s sight. After she left, Jin Chao lowered his head to look at the stone steps stretching far into the distance, took a deep breath, and began climbing. Worried about making her wait too long, he stopped taking breaks. His clothes became soaked with sweat, his breathing grew increasingly labored, and he walked for a long time without seeing her figure.
The year he first got his prosthetic leg, Jin Chao went through an extremely painful adjustment period. He couldn’t accept that lifeless leg as part of his own flesh and bone, couldn’t accept his awkward gait, and even feared strangers’ strange looks.
Later, he spent a month in a rehabilitation center, but the prosthetist’s guidance seemed to have little effect – the prosthetic was still obviously visible even in underpants.
No one knew how much effort he had put into correcting his gait, how many repetitions of training it took to be able to stand before Jiang Mu today without any trace of his condition.
But he was no longer whole. Extended pressure on his lower limbs still caused discomfort, and he couldn’t maintain balanced weight distribution indefinitely. To climb faster, Jin Chao stopped focusing on his gait, gradually letting it loosen.
However, Jiang Mu hadn’t climbed toward the peak. Instead, she deliberately created distance from Jin Chao, leaving the main trail to enter the woods. There were some undeveloped paths beside the hiking trail, and Jiang Mu followed a dirt path up to higher ground, hiding behind a large rock to quietly wait for him.
She thought Jin Chao would catch up soon, but she waited nearly twenty minutes before seeing his figure approach from the distance. Elderly hikers occasionally hurried past him. Jiang Mu frowned as she watched his figure, feeling something wasn’t quite right. Only when he got closer did she realize his walking posture was strange – he was supporting most of his body weight on his right leg, especially noticeable when climbing steps.
Jiang Mu quietly observed him until he passed by her, continuing to climb higher. Only then did she jump down from the small embankment and return to the trail, calling out to his back: “Chao Chao.”
Jin Chao was surprised to hear Jiang Mu’s voice behind him. He stopped and turned around, and when he saw her grave expression, his eyes trembled. She walked up to him step by step, her gaze slowly lowering as she asked: “What’s wrong with your left leg?”
Jin Chao didn’t speak, just silently looked back at her. An autumn breeze swept by, scattering fallen leaves that swirled between them, impossible to separate.
The wind blew strands of hair across Jiang Mu’s cheeks and into her eyes, briefly blurring her vision, but her thoughts grew increasingly clear.
The flash of the vehicle collision on the mountain road, their last farewell at the small building, his inexplicable loss of contact, Jin Qiang’s concealment, Zhao Meijuan’s persuasion, Pan Kai’s doubts, Gu Tao’s accidentally revealed truth, his silence when invited to hike.
He had once said, “I’m not a god, I’m just an ordinary person.”
She could still remember the desolation that passed through his eyes when he sat across from her saying those words. Back then, she didn’t understand their meaning.
Years later, when all the seemingly unreasonable things connected, Jiang Mu felt her soul trembling. She suddenly stepped closer to Jin Chao, reaching out her hand. Jin Chao sensitively dodged, but Jiang Mu raised her eyes to fix on him, her pupils filled with broken, fearful light, as she said word by word: “Are you going to hide for a lifetime?”
Jin Chao’s brows gradually tightened. He hadn’t planned to hide it from her forever. If the timing was right, he would have told her, letting her accept it more easily. He just hadn’t expected it to be today, in this way, so suddenly.
He looked into her eyes, those expressive pupils flickering with unease. He could no longer hide, nor did it seem possible to hide anymore. He could only stand there, raising his gaze to look at the distant sky.
Jiang Mu gradually bent down, carefully touching his left leg. Jin Chao didn’t move, but his breath caught when he felt her fingertips.
There was no difference at first – she could feel the contour of his leg, but as her hand slowly moved down along the seam of his pants, suddenly, the line that should have connected to his knee disappeared. When her fingertips touched something cold, she heard the sound of her heart crumbling. Tears burst forth instantly as she withdrew her trembling hand to cover her face, her legs going weak.
He wasn’t a god; he hadn’t escaped that accident unscathed. She couldn’t imagine what he looked like when he opened his eyes in the hospital to discover this reality, nor how he had managed to sit across from her with a smile to say goodbye under such circumstances, nor how he had faced each dawn and dusk alone in the days after she left…
He had no family – no one to take care of his daily needs, no one to comfort him in his moments of vulnerability, no one to stay with him when he was in pain.
No one.
And when he needed her most, she had left him…
She had thought that going abroad had shown her all the cruelty and reality of the world, but only now did she understand that in her most naive years, he had used a lie to support her dreams, hiding all the true cruelty and reality behind him, allowing her to step forward without hesitation.
Years of resentment toward him collapsed in an instant. Jiang Mu’s heart was torn to pieces as she burst into uncontrollable sobs.