Jin Chao had long since moved past his initial phase of despair. Over the years, he had gradually learned to face his physical condition. Most of the time, he felt there wasn’t much difference between himself and others.
However, watching Mumu crying inconsolably before him made his heart rise and fall with her emotions. Around them, onlookers who didn’t know the truth cast curious glances, repeatedly looking back as they passed, wanting to watch but too embarrassed to stare directly. Most importantly, everyone was looking at Jin Chao.
After all, when a woman cries like this in front of a man, it’s usually the man’s fault.
Jin Chao awkwardly pulled Jiang Mu in front of him and said softly, “Stop crying. If you keep crying, people will think I’m a scoundrel.”
Jiang Mu’s voice quieted down, though her body still trembled uncontrollably.
They didn’t continue climbing after that, instead finding a stone bench nearby to sit down. This sudden discovery hit Jiang Mu like a hammer to the head, leaving her unable to cope. Her eyes were blank and hollow, unable to speak for a long time.
The DSLR camera sat between them. Several times, Jiang Mu looked down at the camera lens, thinking of the withered branches and leaves he had photographed earlier. Her heart ached. Although she tried to control her voice, it still came out choked with emotion: “So photography was just a pretense.”
Jin Chao’s breathing was heavy as he watched a young couple climbing up in the distance, something in his eyes gradually darkening.
After a while, he said to her, “It’s not as bad as you think. You didn’t notice the first two times, right? I just can’t handle climbing mountains well. I probably can’t treat you to KFC at the peak today, but I’ll make it up to you when we get down.”
Jiang Mu turned her head away as tears welled up in her eyes, her heart aching so much she could barely breathe. Even in this condition, he was still trying to comfort her. The more he did so, the more her heart ached.
“I don’t want KFC anymore.”
She lowered her gaze and took out a bacon and cheese sandwich from her backpack, carefully peeling off the plastic wrap before handing it to him.
She had made it, especially early that morning, originally planning to surprise him with it at the peak to show how capable and diligent she’d become. Now she wasn’t in the mood anymore.
She stared blankly at the various hikers passing by. In just the short time they’d been sitting there, many people had come and gone – whether white-haired elderly or toddlers who could barely walk, they were all able-bodied.
Jin Chao used to be so strong and capable. On campus, he had been the acclaimed champion of the track. On the racing circuit, he had been an unrivaled driver.
In his prime, he had been full of vigor, but now he had returned with a broken body. For someone as proud as him, how much suffering had he endured over these years?
Jiang Mu sat quietly beside him, saying nothing, while her heart bled along with his.
Just as Jin Chao was about to take a bite of the sandwich, he paused and asked, “You didn’t just make one, did you?”
Jiang Mu replied in a muffled voice, “I’m not hungry.”
She took out a bottle of mineral water from her bag, opened it, and handed it to him. Jin Chao sighed softly and said, “My hands are fine.”
Jiang Mu hugged her arms, bent over, and waited until Jin Chao finished eating before saying quietly, “You should have told me back then. No matter what, at least let me know.”
Jin Chao replied simply, “You were too young then.”
He couldn’t bear to see her struggle between Jiang Yinghan and himself, nor could he bear to see her shoulder in such pain and pressure. Even now, after years of life experience, she could barely handle the news. What about back then, when their feelings were at their most intense? If he had told her that he would be disabled for life, how could she have handled it? How could she have faced it?
He just couldn’t bear it. Couldn’t bear to let someone so young go through all that. Even he had nearly broken down several times, let alone her.
Jiang Mu’s eyes grew warm, her lips curving into a pale smile. “So you simply cut off all contact. You were harsh on yourself.”
Jin Chao crumpled the remaining plastic wrap into a tiny ball in his palm and said in a slightly heavy voice, “The first year…”
He paused before continuing, “Things were really bad. Later, when I finally could walk, I didn’t even have a place to stay. In that situation, how could I contact you?”
Jiang Mu couldn’t bear to ask more. Her heart trembled. During those years while she was studying in Australia, living a peaceful life with hope for the future, albeit dwelling in the melancholy of young love, with her mother’s health stable and life relatively smooth.
Yet on the other side of the world, he had been struggling on a dark path, dragging his broken body forward.
From these few sentences, Jiang Mu could imagine how difficult his life had been then. When he couldn’t see any hope, how could he risk burdening her?
She tilted her head up toward the azure sky, tears gathering in her eyes, weathered by life’s storms. She finally understood why, in all these years of traveling far and wide, she had never found another man she could give her heart to completely. Because there would never be another man like Jin Chao in this world – someone who had protected her from childhood, from her first words and steps, through her awkward and innocent youth, to her growth into a young woman. Even when his own life was in turmoil, he had ensured her path remained smooth and peaceful.
After a long while, Jiang Mu wiped away her tears and said abruptly, “I don’t have a boyfriend, I’m not getting married, I’m not living with anyone…”
Jin Chao squeezed the water bottle, slowly raising his head to look at the same blue sky as her, his expression gradually softening.
…
When they went down the mountain, it was Jiang Mu who deliberately slowed her pace, asking every few steps if he was tired or needed rest. She tried several times to support him, but Jin Chao subtly avoided her help.
When they reached the foot of the mountain, Jiang Mu asked, “Where do you live now? Should I take you home?”
Jin Chao was silent for a moment before calling out, “Mumu.”
Then he turned to her, his eyes dark and intense: “I’m disabled, not helpless.”
His words made Jiang Mu’s cheeks flush red, leaving her unsure how to respond. Not wanting to make things more awkward for either of them, Jin Chao called a car and dropped her off on the way.
When Jiang Mu got out of the car, she turned back with sorrowful eyes, wanting to say more several times, but she understood that many things and feelings couldn’t be sorted out in an instant. She was very confused right now.
Jin Chao turned to look at her somewhat haggard appearance and said, “Go home and get some good sleep this afternoon.”
Jiang Mu cautioned, “Take care.”
Jin Chao nodded, and she closed the car door, watching him leave.
Back at her rental apartment, Jiang Mu took a shower, made something quick to eat, and lay down on the bed. She hadn’t cried like this in many years, and felt somewhat drained, but couldn’t sleep deeply. The towering flames after the explosion once again invaded her mind like a terrifying nightmare, causing her to wake up startled several times. Finally, she simply sat up, leaning against the headboard, took out her phone, and called Gu Zhijie.
When the call connected, she asked, “Do you know where I can apply for a driver’s license near the research institute?”
Gu Zhijie laughed, “Didn’t you say you weren’t in a hurry? Why the sudden interest in getting a license?”
Jiang Mu responded with a simple “Mm” and said, “I want to get it as soon as possible.”
Gu Zhijie had indeed taken her request to heart. The next day during lunch break, he came to find Jiang Mu and took her to a nearby driving school. Jiang Mu was quick and decisive about the registration and payment process. After leaving the driving school, Gu Zhijie told her she could start preparing for the written test whenever she had time, saying she could get her license in as little as two months if she moved quickly. Jiang Mu nodded.
So for the next few days, she went home after work to study traffic rules and started working through a set of practice test questions. As for Jin Chao, he hadn’t contacted her for several days since their mountain climbing trip.
That day when she suddenly learned the truth Jin Chao had hidden from her, thinking about their experiences over all these years – their separate journeys across different horizons, the various hardships – everything suddenly welled up in her chest. Her emotions spiraled out of control, and she cried miserably in front of him.
Looking back, it was rather embarrassing. There was a six-year gap between when he received this news and when she learned of it. He seemed to have moved past the initial accident, appearing calm and striving to live like anyone else. Her crying had forced him to confront his physical disability, which wasn’t her intention, but she had likely inadvertently touched upon his sensitive spot.
For instance, he deliberately avoided her attempts to support him and firmly rejected her offer to take him home.
Since childhood, he had been an exceptional student, the type teachers considered naturally gifted. Whatever he wanted to achieve seemed to come easily with just a little effort. Although his family wasn’t wealthy when he was young, Jin Chao always carried himself with pride.
If not for his strong sense of self-respect, he couldn’t have crawled out of the depths of despair through countless trials, bleeding but unbroken.
That’s why he wouldn’t accept her sympathy, much less her accommodation. Her cautious behavior would only affect him negatively, which left Jiang Mu suddenly unsure of how to interact with him.
If not for the holiday notice, Jiang Mu would have forgotten about the annual Mid-Autumn Festival.
The institute distributed mooncake gift boxes and other holiday presents. Even as an intern, she received the same items, though she felt somewhat lost carrying them home.
On this day traditionally spent moon-gazing with family, she was alone, feeling rather lonely. She sent Jin Chao a message: “How are you spending tomorrow?”
After a long while, Jin Chao replied: “Have something to do during the day.”
Jiang Mu asked: “Will the coffee shop be open tomorrow?”
Jin Chao told her: “Open until four.”
So before four in the afternoon, Jiang Mu brought mooncakes to Oon. Before she even stepped inside, Jin Chao messaged: “At home?”
Jiang Mu took a photo of the starry sign and sent it to him.
A “Temporarily Closed” sign hung on the door, but it wasn’t locked. When Jiang Mu pushed the door open, she saw them dividing up crabs.
Gu Tao and Little Ke had their sleeves rolled up, and Sister Fang walked out from behind the counter. Seeing Jiang Mu enter, Sister Fang warmly welcomed her: “Perfect timing! Want some crab?”
Jiang Mu smiled and said: “I brought you some mooncakes. Where did all these crabs come from?”
Gu Tao turned and told her: “A customer gave them to the boss, but he has a cold and fever so he can’t eat cooling foods. Lucky for us. Take some home too!”
Seeing they had already divided everything up, Jiang Mu felt awkward about taking any, so she waved her hand: “No need. How did your boss catch a cold?”
Gu Tao said: “Probably caught a chill over the weekend.”
Jiang Mu’s heart sank. The weekend – wasn’t that when they went mountain climbing? The mountain was windy, he had sweated so much, and then they sat on that stone bench halfway up the mountain in the wind for quite a while.
Jiang Mu’s face immediately went pale. No wonder he hadn’t contacted her these past few days. She had thought she’d made him uncomfortable. She suddenly stood up, preparing to go outside to call him, but just as she reached the courtyard, Jin Chao appeared at the shop entrance wearing a dark coat. Seeing her walk out, he looked surprised: “Playing greeter?”
Jiang Mu quickly put away her phone and said awkwardly: “Yeah, are you paying a salary?”
A faint smile crossed Jin Chao’s lips: “Can’t afford it.”
He walked to her side and pushed open the door. Following him inside, Jiang Mu said: “You haven’t even asked my price before saying you can’t afford it?”
Jin Chao turned and gave her a deep look. That one look reminded Jiang Mu of their youth, of that year when she had accidentally ended up racing with Jin Chao, and a rich kid had asked his navigator’s price.
“Priceless.”
That had been his answer.
Jiang Mu’s mood suddenly lifted, but only for three seconds, because then Gu Tao asked: “All done with the IV? That was quick today?”
Jiang Mu hurried over to look at his hand, but Jin Chao glanced sideways and slipped his hand into his coat pocket.
Jiang Mu realized his “something to do” earlier had been getting an IV. Spending the holiday alone getting an IV – the more she thought about it, the worse she felt. If she had known, she would have accompanied him. She walked in front of him worriedly and asked: “Still having a fever?”
Jin Chao glanced at her, saw her guilty expression, and simply bent down: “Want to check?”
His figure cast a shadow over her, and his familiar scent made her heart flutter. She instinctively reached up toward his forehead, but just as she was about to touch it, Jin Chao straightened up with a smile. Jiang Mu’s hand fell empty as she watched him turn around nonchalantly and walk to Gu Tao and the others, saying: “It’s fine, head home early for the holiday.”
Soon after, they packed up and finished work. Jin Chao told them to go ahead while he locked up.
After everyone left, the coffee shop suddenly grew quiet. Warm golden light illuminated the mountaintop outside the floor-to-ceiling windows. Jin Chao was behind the counter while Jiang Mu sat by the window looking at her phone.
Soon the aroma of coffee grew stronger and stronger. When Jiang Mu looked up, a cup of coffee appeared before her. Jin Chao sat down across from her and said: “Oonlight, not for sale. Try it.”
Jiang Mu smiled at the moon-shaped latte art in the cup.
Oonlight, moonlight, Mid-Autumn Festival, moon-gazing.
This was the most fitting coffee she had ever had.
Jiang Mu picked up the cup and took a sip, her eyes brightening. It was a familiar taste, one of the few she could remember.
It tasted like the coffee Jin Chao had given her that night at the car shop when they had decided to be together. Rather sweet – he had told her not all coffee was bitter.
He had said he wouldn’t let her suffer.
Jiang Mu’s smile deepened. She looked up at him. At some point he had taken off his coat, wearing a high-quality dark grey knit that perfectly outlined the curves from his shoulders to his arms.
Her eyes curved into crescents as she told him: “Seeing them with the crabs reminded me of when we still lived in Suzhou. Mom would buy crabs every Mid-Autumn Festival to celebrate at home.”
Jin Chao lowered his eyes and said: “I have a box at home.”
Jiang Mu put down her coffee cup, gently swaying the handle, a smile playing on her lips: “Are you inviting me to your home?”