The sky had already turned completely dark. Xu You had been squatting on an unfamiliar street corner for a long time, her mind continuously buzzing. Her phone vibrated tirelessly, but she never answered, not even having the energy to look at the caller ID.

Finally, her feet went numb, and the pain in her stomach finally lessened a bit.

“—Little girl, are you okay?” A voice appeared beside her ear.

Xu You looked up to see a young girl wearing a mask. She bent down with some concern and asked: “I’ve been watching you squat here alone for a long time…”

Xu You was startled and tried hard to appear natural. She waved her hand and said to the person: “I’m fine…”

Her face was pale and weak as she coughed several times in succession.

The young girl couldn’t help stepping forward to support her: “You don’t look very well. Do you need to go to the hospital or something?”

“No need…”

At this moment, Xu You’s phone rang again. It was Xie Ci calling. She sighed lightly and casually hung up.

It wasn’t that she was deliberately ignoring him, but she knew that right now, some emotions had accumulated in her heart that weren’t easy to fade. Her spirit was scattered. At this time when emotions dominated reason, continuing to argue would only hurt each other.

She didn’t want to fight with Xie Ci, much less hurt him.

“Thank you.” After standing steady, Xu You thanked her embarrassedly.

“Thank me for what? It’s just a small gesture.”

The kind-hearted young girl accompanied Xu You to hail a taxi by the roadside, only leaving after watching her get in the car.

Arriving home, the living room and kitchen lights were on. Papa Xu sat on the sofa reading a newspaper. Hearing the sound, he looked up and glanced at Xu You who had just entered.

“Dad.”

Xu You changed her shoes and walked a few steps closer.

Papa Xu picked up the remote control from the side and turned down the TV volume, casually asking: “Where did you go with your classmates? Out all day, and you didn’t even answer when I called you earlier.”

“I didn’t look at my phone just now. I didn’t go anywhere to play, just came back after eating.”

Papa Xu was silent for two or three seconds, put down the newspaper in his hand: “Come here, I have something to tell you.”

Xu You nodded, lacking energy as she took off her bag and walked over.

“You’ve been a bit off lately.”

She was somewhat confused.

Then she heard Papa Xu say: “Tell me honestly, are you still thinking about the physics competition?”

“……”

“No…” Xu You murmured in response.

“No?!”

Papa Xu raised his voice, somewhat agitatedly throwing a book from beside him with a sharp rebuke: “I bought you practice materials, you said you didn’t have time to do them, but what’s the result? You finished all the physics problems in your Version B 5-3 workbook. Where did you find so much time? I already told you competitions aren’t the way forward. You haven’t received any proper training, your school hasn’t organized any external training programs either. Why are you still so stubborn? Has water gotten into your brain?!”

“Look at your brother’s lesson – isn’t it enough?! Wasted year after year, still didn’t achieve anything, and he had proper training. You’re just self-studying on your own – what can you accomplish!”

“A girl’s youth isn’t so easy to waste. Look at you, last summer I agreed to let you sign up for the physics competition, right? But you were eliminated in the preliminary round. I know you had a fever then and your performance was unstable, but that’s not an excuse, you know? What if the same situation happens again in senior year? Competitions and the college entrance exam are different. Why won’t you give up… It’s almost the most important time and you’re still getting distracted with competitions. If you don’t do well on the college entrance exam because of this, are you going to repeat the year?”

“…….”

She knew her father’s expectations and worries. Unable to find words to refute, she simply remained silent. Xu You’s cousin had also studied for competitions, but ultimately failed in his final senior year, wasn’t recommended for university admission, and his college entrance exam was also affected. In the end, her cousin didn’t want to repeat the year and settled for an ordinary tier-two university.

“What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

Chen Xiuyun heard the commotion and came out from the kitchen. Seeing Xu You being scolded again, she panicked and quickly stepped forward, pulling Xu You behind her: “Why are you scolding the child again…”

“Ask her yourself!” Papa Xu’s anger hadn’t subsided.

Chen Xiuyun turned her gaze to Xu You who was keeping her head down.

She stood motionless in silence, not saying a word, her eyelids lowered.

“What’s going on?”

Xu You’s lips pressed tight.

“Say something. Do you want to worry your mother to death?”

Xu You opened her mouth. Just as she was about to speak, tears fell. She wiped them with the back of her hand, but still couldn’t stop them.

Seeing her like this, both adults felt their hearts soften. After a long standoff, Papa Xu’s anger diminished a bit. He sighed heavily with a weighty tone: “It’s not that Dad is forcing you. Our whole family’s hopes rest on you. Your mom and I only have you as our daughter. We worked so hard to raise you. Your academic performance is good – don’t waste it on meaningless things during such an important time period. You’ll regret it later when it’s too late…”

“Forget it, forget it. I won’t lecture you today. Go back and think about it carefully. Go wash up and sleep early tonight.”

Chen Xiuyun called after her: “Do you want to eat something? Mom made noodles.”

Xu You shook her head.

—

After showering, she leaned against the bed and spaced out for a while. Feeling too cold sitting, she simply took off her clothes and burrowed into the blankets.

The blankets weren’t warm either. She only felt her hands and feet were ice cold.

In a daze, she didn’t know why she thought of Xie Ci. After spending a long time with someone, you become too dependent and habitually miss them.

He always wore little clothing, yet his body was warm and dry, unlike herself who was cold as ice. So every time the two of them were outside, he would habitually hold her hand and put it in his pocket.

Fingers intertwined, skin warming skin. Even wearing gloves wasn’t as warm as this.

The phone’s light was bright, placed by the pillow, vibrating again and again.

This time it wasn’t a call, but text messages.

Soft ding-dong sounds, continuous, echoing in the room.

The last message was longer than all the previous ones. Xu You picked it up to look.

[Can you please answer my calls? Can you at least look at my texts?… Xu You, I’m really scared of you. How can someone treat feelings even less seriously than me, breaking up just like that…]

Reading up to here, she didn’t continue reading further.

The dim yellow bedside lamp was still on. Xu You reached out to turn it off. The room suddenly plunged into darkness.

She picked up her phone, turned over, and fumbled to dial a number.

Two beeps.

“…Fuck, Xu You, I’ve been standing downstairs at your place for two hours. You finally acknowledge me. Damn, I was just about to send you a letter ending our friendship.” His tone held both grievance and anger.

“……”

“Can you hear me talking?”

“Go ahead.”

“Come down? Come down.”

Xie Ci spoke very quickly, asking twice in a row.

Xu You didn’t make a sound.

“Your residential complex security guard is about to recognize me…”

“Xie Ci, you have a cold. Go back quickly.” She spoke, her voice very soft.

He was silent for a while, as if accepting it: “You tell me, what exactly do you want me to do? I really can’t take it anymore.”

“………”

“Are you going to break up with me?”

“No.”

“Oh…”

There was the slight sound of a lighter clicking on the other end.

Xie Ci was smoking again.

“You don’t like my friends?” he asked.

Xu You gripped her phone tightly, her hands trembling: “It’s not that. The problem between you and me isn’t this.”

“What problem? So you don’t like me then?”

He made an “oh” sound: “Let me rephrase that.”

“Don’t you look down on me and my friends? Think our grades are bad, think our lifestyle is extravagant, our interests vulgar. All day just eating, drinking, and playing around, fighting and causing trouble. That’s it, right? Anyway, that’s what you all think, right?”

Xie Ci’s voice was rarely this cold.

And fragile.

She couldn’t hold on anymore, biting her lip as tears soaked the pillow.

A long silence on the phone. So quiet there seemed to be only the whooshing sound of wind. A few minutes felt longer than several hours.

“Fine, I understand now.”

After saying this, he hung up the phone.

She didn’t sleep soundly that night. Xu You had a dream.

In the dream, she seemed to walk a very long road, her eyes full of chaotic light receding backward.

Sometimes Xie Ci walked with her, but sometimes he disappeared. She watched him walk away.

His silhouette was faint, then fainter and fainter, finally disappearing into darkness.

When she woke up, Xu You felt for her phone to check the time – four in the morning. She lay in bed, eyes looking at the ceiling, unable to fall back asleep. Getting out of bed, she pulled back the curtains to look outside.

In the night, a vast expanse of white reflected light.

It had snowed again.

In this city.