HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 03: Unlimited Extravagance

Chapter 03: Unlimited Extravagance

The Yangtze River in August had surging waves, but the wind blowing from the ocean toward the land still slowly sent the fleet upstream. There was no time to stop at Yangzhou. The two-thousand-li journey rowing against the current was not easy, and Yun Ye had already received a courier report that His Majesty the Emperor had already taken the Jingniu Ancient Road and would take a boat downstream along the Han River after reaching Hanzhong. Their journey to Yuezhou would be much easier than Yun Ye’s – one going downstream, one going upstream. Yet Emperor Li’s decree to Yun Ye was that he did not like to wait for people. When he arrived at Yuezhou, Yun Ye should be waiting with the Great Emperor ship on Yunmeng Lake.

Not only could they not stop at Yangzhou, they couldn’t stop at any of the cities they passed. They needed to travel day and night to barely arrive at Yuezhou before Emperor Li’s arrival.

When the emperor traveled, complicated formalities and rituals were at their peak, but this time, he had completely abandoned those minor details. Leaving the Crown Prince to oversee the state, he himself traveled together with the Empress and countless concubines. Accompanying the emperor on this expedition were also six of the Sixteen Guards. This was actually Emperor Li’s first imperial tour to the Two Lakes region.

Saying he came to inspect the Great Emperor ship and review the navy was just an excuse. He had brought along more than half of the civil and military officials of the entire court, which showed that the emperor had already begun to turn his gaze southward. Now that the north was firmly settled, the nearest barbarian tribes were all north of the Blackwater. If the remnant Turks wanted to raid again, they would need to break through at least three defensive lines. Moreover, they were now planning to follow the old path of the Xiongnu – that is, to seek new places to settle in the west.

Currently, envoys from the Western Turks were in Chang’an, hoping to obtain support from the Great Tang so they would have the strength to carry out a prolonged western expedition. They had already promised that never again would a single Turk be seen in the lands of the Northern Sea.

Setting out on this expedition were not only the Western Turks, but also the extremely weakened Xueyantuo, the barely surviving Tuyuhun, and the Huihe people who were wandering the grasslands and had nearly been wiped out by Hou Junji. They planned to form the most powerful army to try their luck in the west.

It was said that the distant Western Roman Empire was already in decline, and the vassal states were engaged in civil war. This was the time to go to distant lands to seek a place for their people.

The strength of the Turkic people was formidable compared to western forces, but whenever the Central Plains dynasty completed a transition of power, that was when the Central Plains dynasty was at its strongest. Countless bloody facts proved that the grassland peoples, who had always been invincible in battle, had no way to contend with it at this time. Having an evil neighbor, it was more in line with their people’s interests to move away early.

They firmly believed they would obtain all the help they needed from the Great Tang. The Grand Elder of Tuyuhun, as the person most familiar with the national conditions of the Great Tang, firmly remained in Chang’an, waiting to meet with the Great Tang Emperor.

The envoys remaining in Chang’an were not only them. The Great Minister of Tubo, Ludongzan, came again to the Great Tang bearing abundant gifts and with the most sincere heart. His only request was to be able to seek a princess in marriage for the Zanpu Songtsen Gampo.

Envoys from the three Liaodong states and the Wa Kingdom were also in Chang’an. After the Court of State Ceremonial arranged food and lodging for them, they paid them no further attention. Unwilling to remain obscure, Princess Ronghua led her subordinates to call on Great Tang’s nobles and officials every day. Due to extreme poverty, the only gift they could present was their own embroidery.

Perhaps their tenacity won the respect of Great Tang officials. No one ever refused their gifts, and no one refused to meet with Princess Ronghua. At each meeting, Princess Ronghua exhausted all her efforts to tell them of Goguryeo’s suffering. When speaking of sorrowful hardships, all the high-hatted officials in attendance shed tears.

She also went to the Imperial Academy to pour out her grievances, went to the Institute of Scholarly Worthies to pour out her grievances. Only Yushan Academy mercilessly refused her request to come and pour out her grievances. So Princess Ronghua stood outside Yushan Academy, pouring out to every student and teacher she encountered the disasters that war had brought to Goguryeo.

Everyone sympathized with Princess Ronghua. Some noble ladies even held a charity sale, and all the money raised was given to Princess Ronghua, hoping she could use this money to buy some grain for the pitiful starving people of Goguryeo. The Great Tang had more grain than could be eaten – that money should be able to buy quite a lot of grain.

Princess Ronghua also went to the road construction site to visit those prisoners of war, bringing many clothes and food. The members of her envoy delegation worked day and night to make them into Goguryeo-style clothing and food to give to those prisoners of war, telling them that Goguryeo had not forgotten them. As long as the war formally ended, she would definitely request that the Great Tang repatriate these suffering people.

Many prisoners of war prostrated themselves at her skirt, kissing her shoes. Unfortunately, when the meetings ended, they still had to continue the most arduous labor under the overseers’ whips. Aside from gaining some spiritual comfort, their circumstances had not improved in any way.

Chang’an became a venue for those envoys to display their methods. In such an environment, Emperor Li began his first southern tour, leaving these noisy envoys behind in Chang’an, preparing to conduct a journey beneficial to body and mind.

The fleet continued to sail on the river. When there was no wind, they could only rely on giant oars and livestock on both banks to drag the giant ships forward. In dangerous places, only those bare-bodied trackers pulling tow ropes could drag the ships through the rapids.

The Great Emperor ship was different. At the stern were two enormous paddle-wheel-like wheels extending into the water. Livestock on the ship pulled horizontal bars to drive the wheels in rotation. Although the movement was slow, for such a behemoth, trackers simply couldn’t pull it.

Watching the Princess ship sailing through the water like an old ox, Yun Ye’s heart filled with resentment. When would the Academy be able to turn the teapot into a real steam engine? A large group of people had been researching for three years, and until now could only make a teapot carry a small grasshopper boat slowly running in the water for a couple of runs – there was absolutely no possibility of practical application.

The damned Great Emperor ship should be the kind of existence that belched thick smoke like a demon god descending upon the world, not like it was now – without wind, tottering along like a senile old man.

“Marquis Yun demands too much. Going upstream at this speed and you’re still not satisfied? Without wind, no one has a solution. Those two paddle wheels already astonish this old man. We’ve already passed Ezhou and are about to reach Jiangxia. We just need to wait at the mouth of the Han River for His Majesty’s arrival.” Zhang Liang really liked eating bananas. In a moment’s time, he had eaten a large bunch of bananas all by himself until they were completely gone.

Seeing Yun Ye looking at that pile of banana peels, Zhang Liang laughed heartily and said: “This old man has lived in the north for generations. I truly delight in southern delicacies. Those on my ship have already been eaten clean by me and my sons. This old man is just curious – how can you store these banana things for three months without them spoiling? This old man tried icing them, and as a result they all turned black and rotted.”

Yun Ye smiled without speaking and led Zhang Liang to the rear cabin. Seeing a room full of fruit trees, Zhang Liang nearly went mad. He himself had merely taken some melons and fruits to enjoy on the journey, while Yun Ye had simply planted the fruit trees themselves on the ship. Looking at a lychee tree laden with fruit planted in a giant wooden barrel, aside from cupping his hands to express admiration, he couldn’t say anything.

“Lord Zhang, this took great effort on my part. The lychee trees were planted in wooden pots two years ago, just waiting for this day. Banana trees are rather uninteresting – you just need to be careful not to damage the roots and transplant them with their soil into pots, and the bananas on the tree will slowly ripen. This process can be maintained for at least half a year. Of course, after half a year the banana tree will die.”

“They all say that tangerines grown south of the Yangtze are tangerines, while those grown north become trifoliate oranges. This is an incorrect statement. As long as you satisfy all the growth conditions for plants, bananas can also be grown in the north. It’s just that the cost is too great, not worth doing it that way.”

“Younger brother’s extravagance like this – aren’t you afraid those sour scholars who came along with His Majesty will speak nonsense?” Zhang Liang still felt this was going too far. He thought he had been too wrongly accused when people said he was extravagant without limit in the past. In these days with Yun Ye, aside from lacking beautiful women, the remaining enjoyments were almost the world’s most supreme. Just eating a banana – was it necessary to also move the banana tree onto the ship?

“Lord Zhang, I paid money for all these things myself. Look – I bought the banana trees and paid copper coins to the farmers, so I don’t owe the farmers. I paid copper coins to the fruit farmers to grow the banana trees, so I also don’t owe the fruit farmers. To transport these things, I also paid money to the porters and trackers everywhere, so I don’t owe them either. As for my money, it was all earned openly and honestly, so I don’t owe the state either. Since I don’t owe anyone, and countless people have benefited from this, tell me why I should worry about those people’s attacks? In other words, I’m spending my own money – what’s it to them?”

“Not proper, not proper – this is greatly improper. Frugality is the best policy. Even if you’re spending your own money, those people will still find excuses to attack you. This old man’s reputation for unrefined virtue back then came about just this way. One cannot fail to be on guard.”

Yun Ye smiled without answering and continued leading Zhang Liang further back. On the Princess ship there were not only fruit trees but also various specialties from Lingnan. Giant crabs blew bubbles in water tanks, lobsters with bared fangs and brandished claws tangled endlessly. Yun Ye dug out a black egg-like thing from a box of soil and said to Zhang Liang: “This is a type of mushroom called the pig-rooted fungus. It’s most delicious when roasted over charcoal fire. It’s a pity there’s also a type of fish called lean bone dragon – after eating it, the fragrance lingers on lips and teeth for three days without end. It’s just extremely difficult to catch. If I weren’t worried about His Majesty becoming addicted and causing the deaths of Lingnan’s common people, I wouldn’t have let even it go.”

“Lord Zhang, look at these scallops – they’re all gaping open, which means every one is alive.” After Yun Ye said this, he took a twig and lightly poked them. Those scallops all closed their shells one after another, their movements very uniform…

“What use does this shark have?” Zhang Liang suddenly looked up and saw a huge shark coiled in a water tank, its eyes wide open staring at him. Startled, he walked away before pointing at the shark and asking Yun Ye what its purpose was.

“This one is to be sent as a gift to Wei Zheng. That old fellow caused me to be exiled to Lingnan for three years – how can such a grudge not be avenged? For the sake of His Majesty’s face looking better, I can only use a shark as a gift.”

“Ha ha ha! Old Wei is in for it. Everyone else’s gifts will certainly all be fine things – only he receives a shark as a gift. This is truly interesting.”

“Lord Zhang has misunderstood. I’m just telling Wei Zheng what kind of existence he’s facing.”

“You’re comparing yourself to a shark?”

“Hehe, Lord Zhang – you and I are the two most ferocious giant sharks in this great sea!”

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