HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 04: Everyone is a Thinker

Chapter 04: Everyone is a Thinker

The Turkic Golden Wolf Banner death warriors’ formation was very spread out. When approaching the range of the eight-ox crossbows, the men on the horses disappeared—only the war horses came charging madly. The places where these charging war horses ran left a trail of blood, while those death warriors lying sideways under their horses’ bellies rolled on the ground like balls a few times before standing up and advancing on foot toward the camel city to kill.

One war horse caught fire, then a second, a third… The four or five thousand war horses carried by three thousand men finally turned into a vast expanse of towering flames, wailing as they charged toward the camel city.

“I didn’t expect the Turks would also know about Tian Dan’s fire ox formation. Now using it on war horses, they probably want to set the camel city ablaze?” Du Ruhui held a teapot, took a sip of water, stretched his neck to look at those fire horses, and said to Yun Ye.

“Indeed. The fire horses can not only serve to ignite the camel city, but most importantly can attract the eight-ox crossbows on the camel city and can clear a path for those death warriors behind them. Clever fellows!”

The Turks’ trick succeeded. The eight-ox crossbows on the camel city didn’t fire. The swirling smoke completely obscured the Turks behind—at most one could see some blurred shadows.

The fire horses charged to five zhang from the camel city and seemed to hit a wall, all stopping completely. A few war horses that barely made it over this wall were also precisely shot and killed by powerful crossbows at three zhang away.

“The interception effect of the wire mesh is indeed good. Marquis Yun, look at these war horses—their entire bodies are firmly entangled by barbs. The more they struggle, the more tightly they’re wound. They can’t move even a step.”

“We already knew from experiments in Gaochang that if it were mad bulls, we wouldn’t dare be so presumptuous. Those things have too much strength and would pull the stakes up by the roots. But for war horses to break through the wire mesh is completely impossible. Without that first impact force, what awaits them is only death. However, these war horses are a pity. Even if we don’t shoot them dead, they’re already nearly burned to death. The cavalry has already circled to the rear of those Golden Wolf death warriors. I wonder how these people who are accustomed to fighting on war horses will use two legs to battle cavalry.”

“Have the camel city change camping locations. It stinks terribly here.” A gust of wind blew over, and the stench of the great fire burning meat permeated the entire camel city. Du Ruhui covered his mouth and nose and suggested to Yun Ye.

Yun Ye nodded. So the entire camel city fell into busyness again. Under the muleteers’ scolding, the camels stood up. Those thick pillars were cranked up by handles. The weight of the entire camel city fell back onto the camels’ backs. The soldiers fastened the connecting springs. The entire camel city slowly decomposed into several hundred small grids, moving forward one after another, leaving the smoke-filled battlefield very orderly.

What made those Turks traveling on foot most desperate was that the camel city didn’t even bother about their close-range attacks. Their crude curved blades couldn’t even cut through the steel protective skirts hanging down from the camel city.

Over three thousand people holding weapons stood helplessly in place, watching the city they were to attack turn into a slowly moving wall. Only after the last grid departed did they discover large groups of cavalry swooping down on them from behind…

Na Rimu couldn’t stand the smell of smoke and fire. She had just vomited thoroughly. Huan Niang held clean water, having her rinse her mouth continuously. Only when the camel city left the battlefield and set up camp again did she finally stop vomiting, lying listlessly in a soft chair to recover her breath.

“Look at you. The battlefield is just like this—everywhere are dead people and dead horses. It’s not a place for women. When I initially followed the Princess accompanying Xie Li running east and west across the grasslands, I felt I was about to die. Now you’re carrying a big belly and smelling blood—be careful it’s bad for the child.” Facing the willful Na Rimu, Huan Niang had no solution at all. She herself had lived quietly and happily on the Yun family estate, keeping the old ancestor company in the Yun household reciting Buddhist scriptures, eating vegetarian food. When bored, she’d go to temples in Chang’an to discuss Buddhist teachings with abbots and head monks. Although Huan Niang had never believed in Buddhism, after the Princess died, she no longer believed there was anything as laughable as karmic reward in this world. She was just too idle and always needed to find something to do.

After hearing Na Rimu was pregnant, she was the first to follow the merchant caravan to the Western Regions, originally wanting to bring Na Rimu back to Chang’an. Who knew Na Rimu simply refused to go back? She’d rather be jostled about on the battlefield than return. The Marquis also said the third or fourth month was most dangerous—he wanted to wait until the child in her belly was stable before leaving. Who knew war would break out and they couldn’t leave even if they wanted to?

Huan Niang was already old. In the past, she still always thought of the Princess, thought of the grasslands. Now she had no thoughts whatsoever about grasslands and desert wastelands. She only wanted to live out her remaining years in her small courtyard. Now accompanying Na Rimu here reliving her nightmare really wasn’t what she wished.

Standing on the camel city, one could clearly see the cavalry holding cavalry spears charging back and forth to kill. She was too familiar with this scene. Back then, the Turks were very fond of this sort of game—using their war horses’ speed to toy with those Han people until they got tired of it, then killing them with one spear thrust. Now it was just that the people holding spears and the people being stabbed by spears had switched places. Having lived so many years and seen so much slaughter, what’s owed to Heaven must actually all be returned.

Fan Hongyi, who had gone to outflank the hillock, returned empty-handed. Those people had left before they reached the hillock—left very decisively, not caring about the life or death of those three thousand death warriors. Fan Hongyi didn’t dare leave the camel city too far. After pursuing for ten li, he slowly turned back.

A messenger from Cheng Chumo also arrived, confirming Kucha City was still in Guo Xiaoke’s hands. However, the situation was very pessimistic. The city walls had already collapsed in several places. The corpses outside the city hadn’t been dealt with, and now it was unbearably foul there. Too many Turks were entrenched in Kucha. Rather than his ten thousand men breaking through the encirclement to enter the city to help Guo Xiaoke defend, it was better to remain outside and bite the Turks whenever he found an opportunity. The effect would be much better than helping defend the city.

“That’s the reasoning. Any commander whatsoever wouldn’t let cavalry with the strongest mobility abandon their war horses to be wastefully consumed on city walls—it’s the same whether for defenders or attackers. However, Cheng Chumo also mentioned that the Turks’ military formation, fifteen li deep, has traps and mechanisms everywhere. It seems this is specifically aimed at us.” After reading the letter Cheng Chumo sent, Fan Hongyi said to Yun Ye.

“Actually, if we could avoid killing Turks, I wouldn’t want to kill a single one. These people are very valuable. It’s just that those Turkic nobles seem to have been blinded by hatred. The westward advance plan they formulated at the beginning didn’t have many errors. As long as they were determined, they definitely could have secured a piece of land for their tribespeople. If that happened, our Great Tang’s interests could also be maximized.”

Yun Ye put down the map in his hands and sat back in his chair, saying this to Du Ruhui.

“Marquis Yun still thinks about the grand plan of using one barbarian to devour another even now?” Du Ruhui raised his eyebrows, looking at Yun Ye somewhat astonished.

“Strategy and tactics are fundamentally two different things. This is a very simple arithmetic problem. We defeat the Turks, kill all these people, then we still have to kill the Arabs, kill the Greater and Lesser Bolü people, kill the Shache people, kill the Tibetans, kill the Silla people, kill the Baekje people, then kill the Mohe people, the Shiwei people. Can we manage to kill all these many people in the world? Moreover, once our hands are covered with blood, it’s very hard to wash them clean. In the future, if we want places to be peaceful, only slaughter will remain as a method.”

“In the end, we’ll form two different classes with all the people in this world. Once such classes form, this kind of slaughter will continue for thousands of years until one side kills the other side completely. We have few people—we might very likely become the side that gets wiped out.”

“You’re overthinking it.” Du Ruhui bluntly opposed Yun Ye’s opinion. “We’re fundamentally different from other countries. This is like within our country—we’re the meritorious nobility, with a natural chasm between us and the common people. As long as governance is proper, there won’t be resistance. Seeing the big picture from small details doesn’t apply to people. If it were wild beasts, you could make this deduction. But when it comes to understanding people, heh heh, youngster, you’re far from this old man’s level. These matters are what this old man, Minister Fang, Wei Zheng, and Li Gang discuss. You’re not qualified now. Fight your battles well. The rest doesn’t require your concern. The court has plenty of capable and exceptional people.”

So he’d been scolded and given the label of shallow learning. However, the man wasn’t wrong either. These things in the realm of thought—only those shrewd people had the right to formulate them. He himself truly could only fight the battles before him well.

The camel city quieted down. The great sun was overhead. With the sunshade canopy, life was much better. The soldiers lifted the camel city’s protective skirts, and gusts of wind blew through the bottom of the camel city. The camels leisurely chewed, not being fed—who knew what they were eating? Doing nothing for a full three hours was good news for them.

It wasn’t just the camel city lying in the shade enjoying the cool. Xi Tong did the same. Jiu Niang gently leaned beside Xi Tong. Her pale face had turned a healthy color. From head to toe, she wore short fighting attire. She’d never been seen wearing the skirts brought from the Great Tang again. She always held a knife in her hand. Three months of robbery experience was enough to turn a gentle woman into a fierce bandit wife.

“Husband, we’ve already broken through three cities. The wealth we’ve gained is too much to carry. Can we go back now?”

Xi Tong opened his mouth wide in a silent laugh: “Go back? Without thoroughly making a killing, why would we go back? We’ve only subdued three bands of sand bandits. Our goal is to become king here. Going back with a little wealth—Yun Ye, Han Zhe, and Dan Ying would laugh us to death. I came here to conquer the world. Look at Han Zhe—the name of Divine King has already spread throughout this land: ‘Relieving suffering and difficulty, only the Divine King exists.'”

“Listen to his slogan, then look at ours—Black Wind Bandits! Damn it, just hearing it, we don’t sound like good people. Once he conquers a few more cities, he can replace the Arabs’ influence here. Zoroastrianism has already begun contacting him, preparing to jointly develop religious teachings. Damn it, this fellow actually acknowledges that Zoroastrianism’s sacred fire truly is the first divine fire from the primordial world.”

Jiu Niang laughed coquettishly: “We’re originally bandits, not religious charlatans. Oh right, husband, that sand bandit chief called Baba seems rather unstable. Should we get rid of him?”

Xi Tong pulled Jiu Niang into his embrace and laughed heartily: “Xiao Tie has already gone to do that.”

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