HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 06: The Expensive Firewood

Chapter 06: The Expensive Firewood

Li Er was someone who emphasized propriety in all matters. He believed that the Emperor should command the realm, ministers should govern the people across the four seas, farmers should till the land, merchants should conduct business, and craftsmen should practice their trades. As long as everyone kept to their proper roles, peace would reign throughout the realm.

Since the *Canonical Documents* stated that the Emperor’s imperial vessel could not be challenged, then everyone should obey this prohibition. Even if his own orders were mistaken and caused casualties, someone had to bear responsibility for the error. Since the Great Emperor warship had done no wrong in killing people, the fault must lie with himself. Fortunately, Li Er never had the habit of shirking responsibility. With one sentence—”The fault lies with me”—he shouldered all the blame. But what kind of punishment was confining himself to a quiet chamber for three days of vegetarian meals?

Over a hundred corpses were laid out on the deck. Could a grand burial and public commendation compensate for this? Wei Zheng’s complexion was terrible, and his eyes were quite uncomfortable. The white film over his corneas had become increasingly severe, making everything appear blurry. Several times he wanted to speak but was stopped by Chu Suiliang. Yan Lide had completely fainted. Fang Xuanling also looked utterly miserable. Only Zhangsun Wuji stood with his hands clasped behind his back, solemnly watching the Great Emperor warship still cruising opposite them, not saying a word.

Of the five hundred thirty-three people on the ship, only three hundred nine had been rescued. Over a hundred others were now missing, including the Deputy Captain. Floating corpses would inevitably appear downstream in the Yangtze River.

“Your Majesty, the Great Emperor warship is an unparalleled weapon and should not be entrusted to others. I petition Your Majesty to select a capable person from within the imperial clan to serve as captain, assisted by palace eunuchs, making it Your Majesty’s floating palace on water. As for the Liaodong naval fleet, its vessels can be assembled from various naval forces.”

As soon as Zhangsun Wuji spoke, Zhang Liang’s heart sank halfway. He never imagined that this massive warship could only become a showpiece, just like the luxurious pleasure boat Yun Ye had given to the Empress—nothing but a plaything that would lie in shallow water and slowly rot away with the passage of time.

“Your Majesty, this old minister seconds the motion. The world sees only the Great Emperor warship’s formidable power but fails to see the precedent it represents. The Five-Tooth Great Warship was already an unmatched weapon on water, yet before the Great Emperor warship, it is like an infant with no ability to fight back. Marquis Yun has already trapped the Goryeo navy in the South China Sea. If we wish to annihilate them, we need only dispatch the entire Lingnan naval fleet to suppress all maritime forces. The Qing Que and Princess vessels dominate the seas wherever they sail, bringing peace to the waves. The Chengqian, the massive vessel named after the Crown Prince, now roams the East China Sea unchallenged, and the Goryeo people cannot put a single plank to sea. Our maritime power is sufficient.”

“The appearance of the Great Emperor warship is enough to display national prestige. There is no need to dispatch it to sea, which would only waste national resources. The Great Emperor warship cost over two hundred thousand silver coins to build. If it capsizes in the waves, it will certainly affect the fortunes of the Great Tang. We must be cautious.”

Fang Xuanling’s voice was forceful, as if he could already see the Great Emperor warship struggling for survival among the ocean waves.

“If a dragon does not travel the great seas but is confined to a pond, can it still be called a dragon?” Du Ruhui, as Minister of War, naturally had to advocate for the military. The stronger the army’s capabilities, the more good cards he held in his hand, so he absolutely would not agree with Fang Xuanling’s assessment.

“It’s too early to say now. Follow me aboard to take a look. Duan Hong, take my token and order the Great Emperor warship to lower its sails, drop anchor, and stand down from combat readiness.” Duan Hong carefully received the gold plaque Li Er handed him and took a small boat toward the Great Emperor warship.

Shortly after Duan Hong boarded the Great Emperor warship, the massive sails rapidly descended. The ship shuddered as two giant anchors dropped into the water. The eight-ox crossbows extending from the hull were all retracted into storage, and the small windows along the ship’s sides all closed. The five-clawed golden dragon battle flag was lowered, and the round dragon flag symbolizing the Emperor’s rest slowly rose. Through his telescope, Li Er saw teams of armored soldiers come onto the deck, remove their armor, and change into black clothing. The armor and weapons were placed together in small chests, which were then wheeled into the ship’s cabin by designated personnel.

After everyone had finished changing, the Great Emperor warship played the “Five Phoenixes Facing the Sun” melody—a piece specially performed to welcome the Emperor’s arrival. Li Er, who had been waiting for quite some time, showed no impatience whatsoever. Instead, he watched with great interest, seemingly very appreciative of these elaborate formalities.

Yun Ye had no intention of accompanying the Emperor aboard. That was Di Renjie’s territory. This young man needed a very high platform, and using the entire Great Emperor warship as his debut stage was worth it by any calculation. How could accompanying the Emperor compare to accompanying his son to eat lychees? As long as the Great Emperor warship could launch Di Renjie and make him known to the world, the two hundred thousand silver coins would be money well spent—especially since it came from the national treasury. As for whether Li Er wanted to haul the Great Emperor warship ashore or preferred to burn it as firewood, it had nothing to do with Yun Ye. Fang Xuanling was right—the Great Emperor warship was indeed too powerful. The Emperor would never feel at ease entrusting it to anyone. Without restraining forces, it couldn’t be considered one’s own power.

The Great Emperor warship was more of a propaganda tool, telling the world that weapons could be powerful to such a degree. Zhang Liang’s dream of commanding the Great Emperor warship to sail the four seas was destined to fail. He couldn’t understand that Yun Ye’s reason for building the Great Emperor warship and generously not keeping it under his own control was that he knew very clearly this weapon couldn’t be taken by anyone. If Li Er himself couldn’t control it, burning it as firewood was its only destiny.

This was an expensive toy, so expensive that no one could ignore it. Its appearance would make Yushan Academy’s reputation even more resounding. In the future, when other strange and peculiar things appeared, people would think of the Great Emperor warship. Since such a terrifying weapon could appear, nothing else would be surprising—everything else paled in comparison to the Great Emperor warship.

When the steam engine appeared, people would discover with amazement that before ironclad warships, the Great Emperor warship was just another pile of rotten wood, nothing worth treasuring.

Using his unfamiliarity with the Great Emperor warship as an excuse, Yun Ye strongly recommended his disciple Di Renjie, saying that Di Renjie was the true supervisor of this warship’s construction. If His Majesty and the various officials had any questions, they should ask him. Asking Yun Ye would be like asking a blind person for directions.

“Hmph, hmph, not bad. You finally know to recommend talent for the nation. Although he’s your own disciple, your intentions are questionable. However, I’ve long heard of Renjie’s capabilities. The fact that you’re willing to send him into official service is quite good. Very well, I’ll let you have your way this once.”

Di Renjie kept saying he didn’t dare, he didn’t dare, but his confident appearance couldn’t fool these old foxes.

Empress Zhangsun also wouldn’t go, saying this was His Majesty’s first time boarding the Great Emperor warship, which qualified as a grand ceremony. A woman’s yin energy was inauspicious for vessels, which might be unfavorable for the Great Emperor warship, so she wouldn’t board. Once His Majesty was familiar with this warship, it wouldn’t be too late for her to go aboard.

Old Cheng, Old Niu, and Qin Qiong also wouldn’t go, claiming they were fierce generals on land who got dizzy on ships, so it was better not to board. Li Tai couldn’t escape—he had to accompany his father and explain to them the interesting stories of the Southern Seas, unable to get away.

The Five-Tooth Great Warship slowly approached the Great Emperor warship. The Imperial Guard boarded first, and Duan Hong helped Li Er across the gangplank. Di Renjie followed closely behind, beginning from the ship’s side to explain to the Emperor the detailed specifications of the Great Emperor warship. Without a full day, they couldn’t finish.

“Let’s go to the Princess vessel. This palace still needs to properly question you about what exactly you’re scheming.” Empress Zhangsun looked at Yun Ye with a curious glance, then pulled Yun Shou along and walked to the patrol boat, having the sailors prepare to set sail for the Princess vessel.

“Let’s go, you little rascal. You can’t escape. Everyone with eyes can see. His Majesty is in a difficult position right now. He ordered you to build an unprecedented ship, and you built such a monster. How is His Majesty supposed to handle this ship? Who can he entrust it to and feel at ease? With such a ship, it would be enough to establish a kingdom overseas. If the general controlling this ship harbored treasonous thoughts, who could subdue it? The Empress is helping His Majesty question you. We old fellows have come along to support you.”

Cheng Yaojin gave Yun Ye a push, and the group boarded the patrol boat. Before long, they arrived beside the Princess vessel. Several female guards helped Empress Zhangsun aboard, and Yun Ye’s entire family came to pay their respects.

Holding Old Grandmother’s hand, Empress Zhangsun said, “Three years without seeing you, and Old Madam’s health grows ever more robust. This is wonderful news. Your grandson brings honor, and your great-grandchildren are all clever. It truly makes one envious.”

Old Grandmother repeatedly said it was thanks to the imperial family’s blessings that the Yun Family enjoyed such prosperity today. They would certainly educate their descendants to serve the nation loyally to repay the imperial grace, not daring to show the slightest negligence.

Empress Zhangsun spoke a few more words with Xinyue, then seeing Xiao Ya kneeling behind, commanded her to rise. Using her finger to lift Xiao Ya’s chin, she said, “One can see at a glance you’re a clever child. You’er marrying you can be considered a match made in heaven. After marrying into the family, you must discipline your husband and educate your children to not disappoint His Majesty’s trust. A life of wealth and honor can still be anticipated.”

Xinyue was both startled and frightened, especially hearing the words “discipline your husband and educate your children,” worrying that Xiao Ya would become angry. She finally relaxed when she heard the six words “I respectfully obey your command and dare not disobey” come from Xiao Ya’s mouth.

Empress Zhangsun then lifted Xiao Wu’s chin and, after examining her carefully, sighed and said, “Your master always favors you more. Such a fine young woman yet has no connection to the imperial family. However, clever women always suffer losses more easily. Your master has arranged this grand stage and given it to Di Renjie, wanting to recommend him to His Majesty. This palace knows your learning is no less than Di Renjie’s—perhaps even surpassing his. The Great Tang has no precedent of women serving as officials. If you were to serve, you could only become a palace female official. Are you willing?”

Xiao Wu naturally moved her chin away from Empress Zhangsun’s finger and lowered her head, saying, “For women, having no talent is a blessing. Master painstakingly taught Wu Mei for many years precisely because he didn’t want Wu Mei to enter the power arena. Now he has even promised Wu Mei to the Di family, hoping that Wu Mei can live a peaceful and happy life. Being able to study under Master’s tutelage is Wu Mei’s greatest blessing.”

Empress Zhangsun nodded and said, “Indeed. Palace female officials probably wouldn’t even catch your eye. Tell this palace, what do you intend to do? Today this palace will fulfill one condition for you.”

Xiao Wu raised her head to look at Empress Zhangsun and said, “My master has already permitted Wu Mei to complete her studies. I believe that following Master for ten years has not been in vain. If Wu Mei could teach at Yushan Academy, I would be endlessly delighted.”

Empress Zhangsun’s eyes narrowed as she asked, “The women’s academy?”

Xiao Wu answered resolutely, “No, Yushan Academy itself. Wu Mei wishes to wear the blue robes and teach the scholars of the realm.”

“You come from a distinguished lineage, and this palace does not doubt your learning. I only worry about your resolve. As a teacher, one must have a heart as bright as the moon. Yet why is there a dark cloud lingering between your brows? What is the reason for this?”

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