Generally speaking, when a girl wants to become empress, this is a perfectly normal thought. Enjoying supreme glory among ten thousand people—this is great honor. However, unfortunately, most girls merely think about it and that’s all. It’s just the sweetest fantasy in the boudoir.
Yun Mu was different. She believed she should be empress, so she went to find Sister Xiao Wu for help, asking her how she could become empress of the Great Tang Empire.
When one’s heart thinks of foxes, one will grow to look like a fox. Xiao Wu was like this. The last trace of girlish innocence on her had disappeared. Her hair was lazily tied in a bun on her head, draped in a brocade robe that seemed to be Di Renjie’s. A bright red chest wrap was exposed outside. Yun Mu blushed deeply with just one glance.
Xiao Wu giggled and reached out to embrace Yun Mu, her index finger lifting her chin, saying, “So this is the girl from the household who’s set on becoming empress? Indeed, grown so beautiful—not becoming empress would be a waste.”
Yun Mu felt somewhat embarrassed. Hearing Xiao Wu so nakedly speak her inner thoughts made her feel somewhat shy.
“Silly girl, what’s there to be embarrassed about? Our household ought to produce an empress. Master is too pedantic, thinking this would be very shameful. But this is also what Master is proud of—the Yun family doesn’t need to trade daughters for wealth and glory. However, Xiao Mu wanting to become empress is a wonderful thing! How can the eldest miss of the Yun family not receive the world’s affection?”
“If we’re going to be empress, we must be an empress like Zhangsun. If we become a puppet confined in the rear palace, then that broken empress position isn’t worth coveting. Listen to your sister—Master is right. To be a formidable empress, you still have much to learn. First of all, you must find a man who can become emperor and marry him.”
“Don’t think about the Crown Prince. He’s already an old man. Since we can neither wrong ourselves nor give up being empress, we can only find the Imperial Grandson. After the Crown Prince ascends the throne, you’ll be Crown Princess. Then kill the emperor, and you’ll quickly become empress.”
Yun Mu was shocked and scrambled out of Xiao Wu’s warm embrace, saying urgently, “No, no! Kill the emperor? Father would die of anger. I want Father—I don’t want him angry.”
Xiao Wu tapped Yun Mu’s nose and said, “Silly girl, if you don’t even have this much ambition, what kind of empress can you be? An empress’s first duty is to help her Crown Prince husband become emperor sooner. Only after you become the second person in the realm can you slowly become the first person in the realm. If your ambition is even greater, having all the men in the realm bow to you isn’t impossible either.”
Yun Mu still firmly shook her head, “I want Father. I don’t want Father to bow to me. So being an empress is good enough for me. Sister Xiao Wu, do you think Li Xiang can become emperor?”
Xiao Wu giggled and said to Yun Mu, “As long as Xiao Mu marries someone, that person can become emperor. It’s certain to be this way. The prerequisite is we must find an imperial prince with character flaws. Actually, Li Xiang isn’t bad.”
“This person seems shrewd but actually has a very weak character. Moreover, he doesn’t have His Majesty’s great talent and bold strategy, nor does he have the Crown Prince’s ambition and decisiveness. Now he seems quite clever and promising, but as long as he becomes emperor, I dare guarantee he’ll absolutely be a very muddled emperor. Because a person who’s content with modest wealth, once he becomes emperor, will become beside himself with pride.”
“Your brother could decisively end his sinful entanglement with a single pearl. Now he’s living well together with Yan Rong and Helan, never looking at outside women again. This is our family men’s sense of responsibility. But look at Li Xiang—he’s still entangled with that woman called Mingyue.”
“For men, being devoted is also an advantage. But he keeps going to find that woman yet still keeps her at Mingyue Pavilion. What kind of place is Mingyue Pavilion? It’s a brothel. If he dared bring that woman back to Prince Hengshan’s residence, I might even look at him differently. But look at his sordid appearance now—sneaking around every time.”
“Unqualified as a lover, unqualified as a man. That Aunt Na Rimu was a shepherdess from the grasslands, even a Turk. Look at how Master handled it—decisively brought her back, explained to everyone that this is my lover, carried her openly through the front gate. Except for the position of principal wife, everything else that could be given was given. Pampered her for a full twenty years, and it looks like he can pamper her for several more decades. Xiao Mu, you’ve also become the eldest miss of the Yun family. Almost everyone who dared gossip has been beaten by Master. Let me tell you, Xiao Mu, this is what a man is.”
“However, if you have the ability to find a man like Master, you won’t be able to become an imposing empress. You can only hide behind him helping manage the rear palace. That would be too terrible.”
Yun Mu’s face flushed bright red. Xiao Wu was right—Father truly was the best man under heaven. Even a fool like Mother, he could tolerate for twenty years. It really wasn’t easy. Thinking of Father laughing about Mother being unable to count sheep heads back then, Yun Mu’s teeth ached. Trading one sheep head for one bag of grain and having to trade them one by one—only Mother could do such a thing. Fortunately, Father could patiently trade with her. If it were herself, she would have left long ago.
“Why don’t you mention Brother Xiao Jie?”
“What’s there to say about him? Want a beautiful wife? Am I, your sister, not beautiful? Want sons? Haven’t I given him two? Want a daughter—isn’t she already running all over the place now? What more does he want? What does he dare want?”
Xiao Wu stated matter-of-factly, then carefully examined her newly dyed fingernails. Nails dyed with balsam flowers plus alum weren’t red enough. It looked like tonight she’d need to wrap them in linen and dye them again. As for Di Renjie’s matters, there really wasn’t anything worth discussing. Xiao Wu was extremely confident.
“Sister Xiao Wu, can’t we find a man who’s both good and devoted to become emperor?”
Xiao Wu rolled her eyes and looked at Yun Mu as if looking at an idiot, saying, “What good person would become emperor?”
“Aren’t people who become emperor good people?” Yun Mu asked in shock.
“Starting from the Three Sovereigns and Five Emperors, slowly work your way forward and see if you can find one or two good people. The emperors who barely qualify as good people are basically all incompetent rulers. If a bleeding heart like Master became emperor, that would be the common people’s misfortune, the disaster of ten thousand people. He wouldn’t kill those who should be killed, wouldn’t imprison those who should be imprisoned. The rear palace would have no sense of hierarchy. Any ambitious person could swindle away the household’s wealth. Count how many people in our household can freely enter and exit the treasury? Yesterday I went into the small storeroom to take a pearl for a hairpin and nobody even noticed.”
“The small storeroom was originally prepared for us. Of course you can enter. If you have the ability, try entering the large treasury. Only Father, First Mother, Xiao Shou, and Brother Xiao Jie can enter. Wait, that’s not right—it seems Uncle Wu She, Grandfather Sun, and the others can all enter!”
“Exactly! Other people are lucky to have one trustworthy person in a lifetime. Fortunately, Master trusts so many people. Last time I also wanted to go in and help count the treasures, but was scolded by Master.”
“You wanted to go in and steal treasures!” Yun Mu shouted.
“What can I do when your Brother Xiao Jie won’t help me take them? What’s the point of just telling me there are many good things inside? Being envious but unable to get them is what makes people anxious. Master wasn’t afraid I’d take things—mainly afraid of breaking the rules. I didn’t really want things either—mainly just wanted to go in and look. Why can they enter but I can’t? Xiao Mu, remember this—since you want to be empress, your sister will help you become empress. We’ll give this opportunity to that fool Li Xiang. Once you become empress, we’ll hand this country over to us women to rule. I’ve been reading history books recently. The more I read, the more indignant I become. Why are emperors all men?”
“Master said that in the earliest times, women were in charge. Because men couldn’t hunt prey and were about to starve to death, women took pity on them and taught them to farm and gather food. As a result, these men, relying on being stronger than women, squeezed us out bit by bit. So women governing is the orthodox way!”
Yun Mu looked in shock at the furious-faced Xiao Wu, truly unable to describe her own feelings. Sister Xiao Wu had changed through four or five different expressions in such a short time. Her rich expressions were frightening, but what was even more frightening was what she said.
Everyone in the Yun family had one habit—they didn’t pretend in front of their own family. So Yun Mu absolutely believed Sister Xiao Wu had already become a monster. She’d heard that fox spirits were monsters. Now all the women in Chang’an knew Sister Xiao Wu was a monster.
Charmer, fox spirit—these two terms, nobody knew who spread them. Sister Xiao Wu said it was Zhangsun Wuji who spread them, or maybe it was the emperor who spread them. In any case, they wanted to make these mysterious things public. No matter how mysterious something is, as long as it’s exposed under broad daylight, it loses its mysterious power and can no longer bewitch people’s hearts.
However, Sister Xiao Wu was truly quite eerie now. She took off her outer robe and stood right in front of Yun Mu changing clothes. Her exquisitely delicate body had curves in all the right places. Yun Mu looked at Xiao Wu’s high-set chest, then looked at her own and felt somewhat inferior.
“No need to feel inferior. Sister has already given birth to three children. To breastfeed children, naturally it gets bigger. You’re still a young girl—what’s the rush? Look at Xiao Miao—wasn’t she flat before too? Hasn’t she gotten bigger since marrying Master?”
“You’re already at least eighty percent as beautiful as your sister. In a few more years, sister won’t be as pretty as you. Once sister finishes dressing, let’s start formulating the empress plan. I must help my little sister fulfill her wish.”
Thinking of the empress plan, Xiao Wu’s heart burned hot. Excellent! The Yun family had been too peaceful. Now finally there was a long-term, complex, challenging matter to undertake.
Dozens of schemes flashed through her mind in an instant. What needed to be done now was to list these schemes one by one, compare their advantages and disadvantages, then decisively execute them. Using the Yun family’s power wouldn’t work, of course, but using Han Zhe’s divine servants and Baiyu Jing’s divine servants was still possible. Who should be used first?
Li Yifu?