“Your Majesty, absolutely not! This shark is medicine. Master Sun is still waiting to use its liver to extract fish liver oil. It absolutely mustn’t be damaged—it can only be captured alive.” Yun Ye found a wooden stick and pushed the shark toward the edge of the water tank, hurriedly explaining to Li Er, who held a fish spear.
“You want me to capture this shark alive? What kind of intention is that? Don’t you see this thing has tremendous strength?” Yun Ye didn’t know how Li Er’s brain worked. Who would go barehanded to capture a shark alive for no reason? The shark’s skin was like a file—just touching it would tear skin and flesh. Catching a shark barehanded was asking for trouble.
“The liver? As far as I know, the shark’s liver is highly poisonous. I wonder who Marquis Yun plans to treat with this shark’s liver—to make you care so much that you’d spare no expense bringing it back alive. Such people can be counted on one hand. I just don’t know if it’s His Majesty, Her Majesty, or Old Cheng, Old Niu, Old Qin, Yuchi and the others? Which of these several do you plan to poison to death?”
This question made even Li Er furrow his brow. Even if the shark’s liver truly was poisonous, Yun Ye had already said it was for Sun Simiao to compound medicine. Even if Yun Ye harbored ill intentions, you had to trust Sun Simiao’s character. Using deadly poison in medicine wasn’t the first time he’d heard of it—arsenic and heartbreak grass, when used properly, were also good medicine.
“Wei Zheng, these words are inappropriate. You say Yun Ye is extravagant and wasteful—that’s supported by facts. But to say he has thoughts of harming people, I still don’t believe it. Yun Ye is cunning, petty-minded, and has been indulged by his elders into a bunch of bad habits. Whatever else may be wrong, this business of poisoning people is something he cannot do. However, I’m also curious—Yun Ye, who do you plan to have eat this shark’s liver?”
The guards followed Li Er’s instructions, covering the shark with a net and laboriously lifting it into the water tank. Just as it was entering the water, it still managed to slap one guard away with its tail.
“Your Majesty, who else could it be? The main use of shark liver is to clear the heart and brighten the eyes. The reason people get poisoned from eating it is because the effect of clearing the heart and brightening the eyes is too powerful. But for those suffering from severe eye diseases, it’s the best medicine.”
Yun Ye had no way to explain what vitamin poisoning was, so he could only explain it this way. After saying those words, he felt wronged, so he added: “As for who will eat it, naturally it’s this Grand Secretary Wei who mocks, ridicules, and harbors malicious intentions. His eyes are going blind, yet he’s still full of petty thoughts. Had I known, I wouldn’t have gone to all that trouble.”
Li Er couldn’t stop laughing. He looked at Yun Ye, then at the shark, and finally at Wei Zheng whose jaw was trembling. He only felt that today’s clear skies were wonderful weather. The frustration he’d suffered from Wei Zheng all these years instantly dissipated cleanly. He’d finally witnessed Wei Zheng being pointed at and loudly called a petty person, only able to lower his head and endure this miserable state. With a chuckle, he walked over to look at those crabs.
Fang Xuanling couldn’t watch anymore and reproached Yun Ye, saying: “Why didn’t you speak up earlier if you had a good remedy? Old Wei has been troubled by his eye disease for two years. Recently it’s become increasingly severe. He’s already written his letter of resignation due to illness, just waiting to return to Chang’an to present it to His Majesty. At such a young age, your mind is too calculating. You had to wait to see Old Wei make a fool of himself before you’d be satisfied.”
“I’m wronged! I only learned his eyes were injured when my steward told me about Chang’an news while in Lingnan. When I was at sea, I suddenly remembered that shark liver was good medicine for treating eye diseases, so I ordered my household guards to catch one, planning to send it to his home as soon as I reached Chang’an. Who knew he would treat the shark as evidence of my crimes?”
Wei Zheng indeed lived up to his reputation as one who handled great occasions. After being ashamed for just a moment, he returned to normal. After bowing with cupped hands to Yun Ye, he said: “Regardless, Wei Zheng thanks Marquis Yun for his kind intentions. But this old man still wants to ask one question—why?”
Not only did Wei Zheng want to know this question, Li Er wanted to know, and everyone around wanted to know. Only Xu Jingzong lightly waved his folding fan, as if holding all the answers.
“Why? What ‘why’ is there? Where do all these ‘whys’ come from in this world? You are His Majesty’s subject, and I am also His Majesty’s subject. We’ve served together in the same court for so many years. Although our political views differ and we commonly attack each other, I’ve never regarded you, Wei Zheng, as an evil person. I only consider you an old stubborn fool stuck in ancient ways. In your eyes, I’m probably not considered a good person either. Political views are political views. When you’re sick to the point of complete ruin, and I have the ability and means to cure your illness, should I just stand by and watch? This matter of ignoring things—my esteemed teacher never taught me that, and Her Majesty never taught me that years ago. Wei Zheng, it’s one thing for you to question my character, but now are you even questioning my upbringing?”
The more Yun Ye spoke, the angrier he became, and his voice grew louder and louder. After finishing his last sentence, he directly flicked his sleeves and left, going to accompany the Emperor in continuing to rob his household.
Li Er turned to appraise Yun Ye and said: “Not bad. You haven’t disappointed me. With such behavior, even if you’re somewhat extravagant, it doesn’t damage your character. Finally, I see a bit of the shadow of proper education in you. Good, good. The Empress’s efforts over these years haven’t been wasted. This can provide some consolation.”
Du Ruhui came over to flatter, saying: “Old Wei took quite a tumble this time. If there were more of these kinds of disputes, it would be a blessing for our Great Tang. Your Majesty has continuously taught the officials to be harmonious these years, and now flowers are blooming. This subject congratulates Your Majesty!”
Zhangsun Wuji laughed heartily and said to Wei Zheng: “Old Wei, take good care of your shark. Master Sun is on the Qing Que. Your eye disease is becoming increasingly severe—it can’t be delayed! When we reach Yueyang, you should still rest and recuperate in a quiet room. It’s best to have Master Sun perform the procedure soon.”
Wei Zheng also burst out laughing, pointing at the shark in the water tank and saying: “This old man’s lifelong reputation is actually ruined by a shark. Retribution is unfailing. It seems in the future, when impeaching Marquis Yun again, I’ll need to be thrice as cautious, not proceeding until there are no loopholes.”
Zhangsun smiled happily and called Yun Ye over, patting his hand and saying: “I knew you weren’t a heartless person. People, as long as they don’t harbor thoughts of harming others in their bones, are good people. You ultimately haven’t forgotten this palace’s many years of teaching. This is good.”
Taking the small knife from Zhangsun’s hands, he cut down some more banana flowers and placed them in Zhangsun’s basket. These flowers could no longer produce bananas. After all, coming from the tropics to the subtropics, the impact on it was still quite significant.
“Your Majesty, when it’s time for the evening meal, this disciple will use these flowers to stir-fry a plate of shredded meat for you. That will be an incomparable delicacy, far beyond what crabs, lobsters, and these seafoods can compare to. Speaking of extravagance, that’s true extravagance. To be honest with you, His Majesty and the others have been searching here continuously, yet they haven’t found the most delicious item. After His Majesty finishes searching, we teacher and disciple can invite Qing Que, bring a small charcoal brazier, and when boating at Red Cliff, this disciple will roast it over charcoal fire for you to taste. For the evening meal, just have some flower and shredded meat—otherwise, eating in disorder will affect the appreciation of fine food.”
Zhangsun smiled and nodded, then turned to say to the Emperor: “Your Majesty, tonight this consort wishes to bring Qing Que and this student Yun Ye to tour Red Cliff at night, appreciate the moon, and reminisce about the past. I wonder if this is permissible?”
Li Er glanced at Yun Ye and said: “Very well, you all go find your own amusement.”
Xu Jingzong felt abandoned. He quietly nudged Yun Ye and said: “This move is brilliant! Not returning to Chang’an for three years, and halfway there you pull off something like this. Though it can’t completely melt away past grievances, living peacefully should be no problem.”
“Help me out. Find some free time and speak with His Majesty about sending me back to the academy to continue as Academic Director. The position of Assistant Director of the Central Secretariat simply isn’t for humans to do. I’ve been forcing smiles all day and night until I’ve developed a problem—now even when I cry, I still have a smiling face.”
“Life has become unbearable. My direct superior Fang Xuanling doesn’t favor me, and behind me, the eldest of the Pei family is constantly eyeing my position. If I accidentally write one wrong character, Fang Xuanling gives me a terrible scolding. I’m forty-three years old this year—I’m someone who needs face! My superior gives me no face at all. The entire court thinks I advanced through favoritism, that I got this position by writing flattering articles. The position of Assistant Director of the Central Secretariat will sooner or later be snatched away by Elder Pei. If I’m sent out as a provincial governor, it’ll be miserable. Think of something quickly—I don’t want to leave Chang’an.”
That this great ancient schemer lived so miserably was something Yun Ye hadn’t expected. A person as slippery as a catfish had no status in Li Er’s court. In the current court, you either had to be a capable minister, an upright minister, or at the very least a diligent minister. The Emperor now demanded everything be open and aboveboard, because he no longer needed to play conspiracies and schemes. Whatever he wanted to do, he directly ordered it. If the order wasn’t obeyed, the army would come.
Li Er was a monarch with an extremely open and magnanimous heart. He constantly proclaimed that internally he practiced the way of Confucius and Mencius, toward the tributary states he implemented the kingly way, and toward foreign countries he implemented the hegemonic way. According to Xu Jingzong’s understanding, Li Er’s so-called way of Confucius and Mencius meant first persuading nicely, and if persuasion didn’t work, the army would roll over. The so-called kingly way meant giving you a heads-up before the army came over. Most frightening was Li Er’s hegemonic way—the army would come whenever it wanted to come. After cutting off heads, they’d evaluate whether the heads were cut correctly. Before that, they were just busy cutting.
In such a court, there was simply no room for scheming people like Xu Jingzong to operate. After waking from the initial joy of promotion, he discovered with horror that this fox was surrounded by either hunting dogs or jackals. As an anomaly, his life was constantly at risk. Now he only wanted to run back to the academy, that fox den, to curl up his tail and continue sleeping. Perhaps after waking from one sleep, he’d see a nine-tailed fox sitting on the throne commanding the winds and clouds. That would be when the world belonged to foxes.
Xu Jingzong was pitiful. That nine-tailed fox wasn’t going to seize the imperial throne, but instead aimed at the highest leadership of Yushan Academy. He didn’t know if he could fight against that nine-tailed fox. Probably not, because the nine-tailed fox’s master had planned from the beginning to hand the academy to her, never intending to hand it to Xu Jingzong.
After the Emperor finished robbing the Yun household, he left with his minions. Zhangsun and Xu Jingzong stayed behind. They watched as Yun Ye dug many black lumps of earth from the soil, carefully placing them in a basket. He also scooped up from a nearby wooden bucket some small fish only about a span long, and said to Zhangsun: “Your Majesty, this is the supreme delicacy. The rest are not worth discussing.”