Xinyue was pregnant—this was no small matter! The entire Yun estate erupted in joyous celebration. Grandmother was beaming from ear to ear, spending all day before the Bodhisattva praying for the unborn child. When she later heard that Li Anlan’s monthly cycle had also failed to arrive, the old lady’s spirits soared to new heights. She reclaimed full authority over the household management, forbade Li Anlan from returning to Lingnan to live like a savage, and declared that after the child was born, she could do whatever she pleased—but this child absolutely had to bear the Yun surname. There would be no negotiation on this point.

Grandmother attributed all the credit to her own foresight with the bells. The twelve bells swayed constantly in the wind, praying to the gods and Buddhas for blessings, asking for the Yun family to have many children and much good fortune. The gods and Buddhas must have grown so irritated by the noise that in a fit of temper, they granted two at once. From Grandmother’s tone, these two children had nothing to do with him—they were the handiwork of the gods and Buddhas?

Pregnant women couldn’t serve others, so Grandmother began lamenting again how shameful it was for the Yun family to have only one wife and one concubine. Which marquis didn’t have seven or eight concubines, not to mention countless chamber maids? Just look at the Cui family—they could count from Cui Wolf One all the way to Cui Wolf Thirty-Nine, and they were only three brothers who had produced thirty-nine “wolves.” Their daughters were married throughout the world. The Yun family had seriously fallen behind.

Yun Ye had no intention of learning from the three Cui brothers and becoming a stud horse. Abstaining for a year was beneficial to one’s health. Learning from Sun Simiao to become an immortal wasn’t bad either. Recently, Yuchi Gong had become obsessed with Daoist cultivation. A nine-foot-tall giant wearing Daoist robes with his hair in a topknot didn’t look like a Daoist priest—he looked more like a mountain bandit. The Yuchi family wasn’t prosperous—two wives had produced only one son. When Yuchi Baolin married Huozhu’s sister, the old fellow had made grand vows. As expected, Baolin lived up to expectations, and two months later came the joyous news that his daughter-in-law was pregnant. After getting thoroughly drunk, the old fellow bought three pigs to fulfill his vow at the Daoist temple, kneeling in the great hall and weeping until his body went limp.

After returning, he changed into Daoist robes and refused to eat even a bite of meat. When Cheng Chumo married the princess, he would rather salivate and eat only tofu rather than meat, though he drank plenty of grape wine.

Yun Ye went to fetch the bride wearing armor and still returned covered in bruises. The clubs striking his body merely made noise—no real threat—but those fine sewing needles couldn’t be blocked by armor. The Yun family’s armor emphasized breathability, with many areas covered in dense tiny holes. This gave those princesses who resented Yun Ye an outlet for their frustration, with Gao Yang being the worst offender.

Normally, only married young women beat the groom—what was a young maiden doing joining in the commotion? And wearing donkey ears, no less!

“These are rabbit ears, not donkey ears.” Gao Yang had already corrected Yun Ye three times. A fifteen or sixteen-year-old girl wearing cute rabbit ears did indeed look much more adorable. The snow-white long ears were fixed to a hair clip, fluttering enticingly and attracting affection. Fang Yi’ai’s eyes hadn’t left Gao Yang for a moment.

Gao Yang wasn’t the only one wearing long ears. Lan Ling also wore a pair of blue long ears, pushing through the crowd until she squeezed to Yun Ye’s seat and sat down unceremoniously, saying huffily, “Brother-in-law, you gave Gao Yang such beautiful hair ornaments—why didn’t you give me any? I thought I was your favorite among the sisters.”

“Don’t call me brother-in-law. Aren’t you afraid of people hearing? I’d have to silence witnesses. With so many people, how could I kill them all? Do you think I could kill someone like Xue Wanche?”

“Stop dodging! My sister is pregnant with your child again. If you don’t acknowledge it, she’ll have no choice but to throw herself in the river.”

“That’s nonsense. Your sister would never throw herself in the river. Weren’t you talking about donkey ears? Why are you bringing up your sister’s pregnancy?”

“These are rabbit ears, not donkey ears! One day Gao Yang came to find me wearing a pair of very ugly long ears, wanting to ask how to sell fur for a good price. Since the fur was thick, I told her to make it into blankets and winter clothes—it would be very warm. Then I asked her why she made such beautiful rabbit ears look like donkey ears, and she said your craftsmanship was poor. Tomorrow she’d find a good tailor in the palace to make a beautiful pair. She’s idle now and planning to sell rabbit ears. Why didn’t you give me any? You know my mother passed away, yet you won’t help me.”

This wretched girl’s tears came on command, and once they started, they wouldn’t stop. Gao Yang’s mother had also died—few women in the palace lived long lives. Helplessly, Yun Ye promised to give her his family’s mold for making golden pigs. Only then did she stop crying and bounce away like a rabbit.

Old Yuchi was exchanging child-bearing secrets with Qin Qiong. Clearly, Old Qin was on the verge of a breakdown. Two old men exchanging information about drinking or killing people would be fine—why discuss this?

Old Yuchi’s table was covered entirely with vegetarian dishes, which suited Yun Ye’s appetite perfectly. He’d been getting overheated these past few days, and eating more vegetables would reduce the heat. When Yuchi Gong saw that Qin Qiong was pretending to discuss the surrounding strategic situation with Li Jing beside him and ignoring him, and seeing Yun Ye approach on his own, he smiled and pushed over a plate of oil-fried purple eggplant to make it more convenient for Yun Ye to eat, taking the opportunity to tell him how he had gone to the Daoist temple to worship the gods and how his daughter-in-law had indeed become pregnant afterward.

Old people were all the same. When a daughter-in-law got pregnant, it was the result of the son’s and daughter-in-law’s efforts—it had nothing to do with gods and Buddhas. If it really were entirely arranged by gods and Buddhas, Old Yuchi would probably fly into a rage, grab his serpent spear, and settle accounts with them.

“This is good news! Now that Baolin has a child, you and Auntie can finally rest easy. But there’s more good news to tell you—my wife is also pregnant, and Anlan is too.”

Yuchi’s reaction was beyond Yun Ye’s wildest dreams. He didn’t congratulate him or show surprise. Instead, he grabbed Yun Ye by the collar and demanded in a low voice, “Boy, hurry up and hand over the secret formula! This old man only has one son. Now that Little Huo is pregnant, this is the immortals’ blessing. Next time will depend on your secret formula. Hurry up and hand it over—you can take whatever you want from my house, take whatever catches your eye.”

“You should ask Daoist Sun about such matters—why are you asking me?”

“I asked! Old Sun was very disrespectful and chased this old man out of the medicine hut with a broom. It looks like he has treasures he’s hiding from others. You have the best relationship with him—he definitely won’t hide things from you. Hand it over quickly! We’ll need it after Little Huo gives birth.”

Good heavens, Yuchi Jingde had gone mad! His daughter-in-law had just gotten pregnant, and he was already impatiently preparing for the next grandson’s arrival. But why didn’t he just take concubines for his son?

“It’s better to have fewer wives. Your aunt has suffered with me for half a lifetime. Though she’s plain-looking, an ugly wife is a household treasure. Supporting each other through life, the various flavors cannot be shared with outsiders. Baolin and Little Huo will surely live well together for a lifetime. Having more children is naturally a blessing, but having just one or two isn’t bad either. Look at Old Liu’s family—they beat each other into pig heads. Only after the old man dies will the whole family be lively. Living like that, within three generations they’ll be ruined. This old man is counting on Little Huo to have more children. They’ll all be close brothers who can support each other going forward, right?”

The old fellow’s words suddenly filled Yun Ye with sorrow. Na Rimu was enduring hardship on the grasslands with their daughter, and if Li Anlan weren’t pregnant, she should have already set out for Lingnan. They were all his own flesh and blood, yet scattered here and there—it was heartbreaking to think about. Li Anlan kept delaying her departure because she couldn’t bear to leave. With winter approaching, the journey kept being postponed again and again until now she couldn’t leave. Clearly, she was overjoyed, as was Li Rong.

When troubled, one drinks, and gets drunk easily. At the Cheng family’s banquet, Yun Ye was the most bold, draining every cup, and after drinking would practice boxing, drawing unanimous curses from the old commanders. What kind of boxing technique involved flying vegetable plates?

He didn’t know how he got home. In any case, when he woke up in the middle of the night, he was terribly thirsty. Someone fed him water. He was too lazy to open his eyes—it was either Xinyue or Li Anlan anyway. After drinking the water, he roughly pulled the person feeding him onto the bed, held the soft, fragrant body, yawned comfortably, and continued sleeping.

This sleep lasted until noon. He lazily got up and went to the courtyard to wash up with well water. Yun Ye liked washing his face with cold water, feeling it invigorated him for the whole day.

The two children ran back and forth being more hindrance than help. Yun Ye cheerfully squatted down, letting his son wipe his face. The cold water ran from his face down to his belly, cool and comfortable. After washing his face, his whole body felt about the same as after a bath. He dragged his son to the hall to eat breakfast.

It was very strange. Normally when the marquis wanted to eat, food would appear immediately. When the marquis wanted water, there would be water to drink immediately. Today, the father and two sons sat at the large table waiting for a long time, yet no one attended to them.

Yun Ye couldn’t stand hunger—his stomach was growling loudly. Seeing the two children staring expectantly at the doorway, they were obviously hungry too. His anger flared, and he walked out the door and shouted, “Has everyone died?”

Xinyue emerged from somewhere, smiling as she patted her husband, asking lewdly, “Did you sleep comfortably last night?”

“Comfortable my ass! I’m practically starving to death. Hurry up and bring the food. What kind of mother are you, can’t you see the children are hungry? Get me a big bowl of noodles with meat sauce, extra spicy, extra vinegar, hurry up.”

Xinyue looked at Yun Ye strangely and asked, “You don’t know?”

“Know what? Go make food quickly. Once you bring the food back, you’ll have saved a life. Bring a bowl of noodle soup too.” After speaking, he entered the room. The household was becoming increasingly undisciplined—for a dignified marquis to be this hungry was truly rare…

Xinyue called over a maid and told her to hurry and cook noodles, then sat before Yun Ye staring at him without blinking, looking dazed. This woman had been like this recently, often giggling to herself, happy about who knows what.

The noodle bowls were finally brought in. The father and two sons each had a bowl, eating with similar motions, without a trace of aristocratic manners, all slurping noisily. Yun Ye never deliberately tried to change this—if you didn’t eat noodles this way, they weren’t fragrant at all.

Xinyue helped the two children finish eating, then sent them out to play, and sat before Yun Ye staring intently again.

“What are you looking at? I’m overheated recently, and you’re heavily pregnant—I can’t do anything to you, so looking is pointless.”

“Do you know who you slept with last night?” Xinyue suddenly asked.