Yun Ye automatically filtered out the old gentleman’s desire to watch erotic dancing. He didn’t dare imagine a hundred-year-old fellow drooling while watching an erotic dance. Erotic dancing should be something for young people to watch. Back in the day when watching erotic dances, he’d gulp down ice-cold beer to calm his emotions while making wolf-like howls from his mouth, slapping tables and pounding benches with utterly uninhibited boldness. He just didn’t know if bringing Cheng Chumo and the others to watch would recapture that same heroic spirit.
“Boy, when the ‘Heavenly Demon Dance’ is performed, it’s accompanied by Buddhist chanting. When intense, the chanting can pierce the clouds. When gentle, it flows like drifting clouds and water. This old man maintained his dignity back then and didn’t go to the Imperial Palace to watch. Now thinking about it, I deeply regret it. If this thing reappears in the world, this old man will definitely savor it carefully.”
“Old gentleman, I just don’t understand why the ‘Heavenly Demon Dance’ must be performed in a sealed room. Won’t it work in broad daylight?”
“Hehe, boy, keeping something in the inner chambers and enjoying it exclusively in a private room is itself a kind of refinement—it can be called earthly paradise. Poor me, I’ve been upright my whole life. Only when I’m about to die do I understand what indulgence is. Too late—even wanting to heartily eat a meal of meat has become just a wish. Boy of the Yun family, you always cram at the last minute. Has the ‘Heavenly Demon Dance’ appeared in the world? Quick, tell this old man where it is. We’ll go right now. You don’t need to spend money—this old man will treat.”
Yan Zhitui was gleeful as a child, his small eyes showing a rarely seen look of longing. Yun Ye and Li Tai both wore worried expressions. If the old gentleman went to watch the ‘Heavenly Demon Dance’ and something went wrong, never mind what the Yan family would do—Li’er would tear the two of them apart. As long as the old man lived one more day, it was a good omen for the Great Tang—a living auspicious symbol.
“That won’t do, old gentleman! Pei Ji watched the ‘Heavenly Demon Dance’ and nearly died. If I brought you there and something happened to you, a hundred deaths couldn’t atone for it. Please take pity on me and forget about this, won’t you?”
“Nonsense! Just because I’ve lived a bit longer, in a few decades you’ll reach this old man’s age too, and they’ll worship you as a longevity turtle just the same. This old man rarely has any interest in something. No way—I’m going to find the Emperor. I must go look. If I could die beneath the ‘Heavenly Demon Dance,’ this old man would be a romantic ghost.” The old man jumped down from his brocade couch and ordered his old servant to prepare the ox cart. He was about to enter the palace for an audience. A whole room of Yan family juniors glared viciously at Yun Ye and Li Tai, several of them rolling up their sleeves ready to throw punches.
Fleeing in disgrace from the Yan residence, Li Tai said angrily to Yun Ye: “You’re going to be the death of me! As brothers, accompanying you to watch the ‘Heavenly Demon Dance’ is fine. But now the old man insists on going—probably even my father can’t stop him. All the blame will fall on us two. Did you do this on purpose?”
“Who could know the old man would get so excited? Isn’t it ‘see no impropriety, hear no impropriety, speak no impropriety’? That’s their family teaching—there are scrolls on the walls with those very words. Could I have imagined he’d lustfully volunteer to chase after the ‘Heavenly Demon Dance’ to his death?” The two returned to the Academy dejectedly, waiting for Li’er’s fury to descend. They waited from noon until evening without any eunuch appearing, and were just breathing a sigh of relief when they heard Yan Zhitui’s boastful voice outside. Yun Ye’s hand trembled and his teacup fell to the ground, shattering.
The thing he feared most had happened. Li Gang also wanted to go. Yuanzhang, Yushan, Lishi, Gongshu Mu, and Liu Fang also wanted to broaden their horizons. Watching them seriously discuss the ‘Heavenly Demon Dance,’ Yun Ye’s body shook like a sieve. Li Tai wasn’t much better off. Most outrageous of all, Wu She also wanted to go. It was one thing for them to go—regardless of whether they still had that function, at least they counted as men. But why was a eunuch joining in the excitement? If the ‘Heavenly Demon Dance’ was really as terrible as the legends said, the entire Academy would be wiped out in one fell swoop.
“Qingque, we’d better figure out what exactly this ‘Heavenly Demon Dance’ is. Otherwise, the two of us are finished. Not one of those people outside will listen to reason. Let’s invite Master Sun and go together to the Pei residence to see what’s really wrong with Pei Ji.”
It was fine for the old men to recapture their youthful madness once, but Yun Ye and Li Tai, who’d been dragged onto this pirate ship, quietly snuck toward Sun Simiao’s place. They’d just rounded the flower wall when they saw Hippatia hiding by the wall eavesdropping on the old men’s conversation. She looked very excited, constantly spitting melon seed shells from her crimson little mouth.
Caught eavesdropping, she showed not the slightest embarrassment. Without any avoidance, she grabbed Yun Ye’s hand and shook it vigorously: “Remember to call me when the ‘Heavenly Demon Dance’ is performed. If you dare not call me, I’ll tell your two wives that you peeked at me bathing. Oh, and that you brought Li Tai and Li Qingque to watch together.”
“Nobody will believe your nonsense. Even if you told it to the heavens, we wouldn’t take you to watch. Slandering us both is useless—everyone knows we’re upright gentlemen. Isn’t that right, Qingque?”
Li Tai puffed out his chest, his gaze very naturally falling on Hippatia’s bosom. This woman didn’t know to wear more clothes even in the heat, and she especially loved wearing silk. A single outer robe as thin as cicada wings completely failed to conceal her graceful figure. The two protruding points on her chest were also clearly visible. This was killing Li Tai.
“Hmph, an upright gentleman drooling while staring at someone’s chest is truly rare. Yun Ye, you have a tiny red mole on your chest. Don’t think I don’t know. If I tell Sister Xinyue that the red mole on your chest is very pretty, you can imagine the consequences yourself.” Not only did Hippatia not cover her chest with her hands, she deliberately thrust it out, speaking proudly to Yun Ye.
Since she wouldn’t cover her chest, Yun Ye nervously hugged his own chest and asked under Li Tai’s suspicious gaze: “How do you know? Did you peek at me bathing? Good heavens, you’ve gone too far!”
“Shut up! Who’s as base as you? Dan Ying and Gou Zi were the ones peeking at other women bathing. Weren’t they both caught? I saw the red mole on your chest when you took off your clothes to give them to me during that fundraising lecture. You and Li Qingque know the whole story—will Sister Xinyue and Sister Anlan believe it?”
“It’s just some women dancing naked. It’s not appropriate for you as a woman to watch. There’s nothing good to see. You’d be better off researching why we always see lightning before hearing thunder.”
“I’ve researched it and figured it out. I had someone beat a big drum in the distance—we also saw the drumstick hit the drum surface before hearing the drum sound. This shows that sight travels faster than sound. I’ve measured the speed of sound transmission, but I still can’t measure the speed of sight. That requires many people cooperating, so I’ve temporarily given up. When conditions are right later, we’ll research it. Right now I just want to watch the ‘Heavenly Demon Dance’ with a research mindset. Aren’t the old gentlemen next door also going with that mindset?”
“Yun Ye, just bring Hippatia along. When we’re researching, having a woman by our side to help examine those dancing girls will be more convenient. Go about your business—don’t keep eavesdropping on the old people’s conversations.” Even Li Gang had spoken. What more could Yun Ye say? He resentfully pointed his finger at the cheering and jumping Hippatia, then dragged Li Tai toward the medicine hut. Having Sun Simiao examine Pei Ji was important work that absolutely had to be done.
“Yezi, that woman has been spoiled by those old gentlemen. They all treat her like their own granddaughter. I often see her pushing Master Li Gang around the Academy for walks, and I’ve seen her massage Master Yuanzhang’s shoulders. Such a brown-noser! Do you think I’ll ever get a chance for revenge?”
“The possibility is probably small. When the old gentlemen pass away one by one, she’ll definitely become the idol of all the women in Chang’an. Then neither you nor I will be able to touch her. Didn’t I tell you? Don’t treat her as a woman—she’s just a man wearing a woman’s skin.” Yun Ye quickened his pace, preparing to reach Sun Simiao quickly. Pei Ji probably wouldn’t live more than a few hours.
Walking along, he couldn’t hear Li Tai’s footsteps. Looking back, he discovered the fellow staring straight at his back with his mouth twitching continuously.
“Hurry up! What are you being stupid about now?” Yun Ye turned back and shouted at Li Tai.
Li Tai hurried up and suddenly grabbed Yun Ye’s chest, saying: “When did you ever say such things to me? Do you know, when my beloved consort came to the Academy to visit me, Hippatia invited her to bathe in the hot springs together. They bathed for two full hours. Don’t you think I got the short end of the stick?”
Yun Ye looked at Li Tai sympathetically and patted his back to comfort him. Having another woman take full advantage of your wife—there was nowhere to seek justice for that. You could only swallow the broken tooth.
“That damned pervert—I definitely won’t let her off.” Arriving at the medicine hut, Li Tai’s curses were still endless. Sun Simiao stood in front of the medicine hut looking unfavorably at the two of them, annoyed that they’d disturbed his medicine preparation. Two medicine apprentices standing beside him grinned at Yun Ye, then continued sitting there cutting medicine with their cleaver.
“Master Sun, have you heard of the ‘Heavenly Demon Dance’?” Yun Ye got straight to the point and asked the old Daoist directly.
“Away, away! Evil demons and heretics shall not enter my door!” Sun Simiao’s already displeased face became frighteningly gloomy, clearly meaning to chase the two away.
“Master Sun doesn’t know—now there’s a demon woman using this dance to harm people. This one is thinking about how to counter such heretical ways. That’s why I’m requesting Master’s miraculous intervention to save people from fire and water.”
“Whether this old Daoist can save others I don’t know, but you yourself have severely depleted your vital essence recently. Indulging day after day—even a body cast in bronze and iron couldn’t withstand it. Recently, you need to cultivate your mind and nourish your nature. Qingque is the same. You’re both good children—why don’t you know moderation?”
Both were left red-faced, mumbling too embarrassed to say more. The medicine apprentice grinding medicine with his foot laughed so hard he couldn’t contain himself, stepped wrong, and the medicine powder in the trough spilled all over the ground. Li Tai went up and kicked him hard twice before his anger was slightly relieved.