“Do I look very stupid right now?” After hesitating, Xue Wanche still asked this question.
“Almost worse than a pig. A pig at least knows that when one type of food doesn’t taste good, it will turn its head to find something palatable. You don’t know that.”
Xue Wanche nodded and said: “That’s the reasoning. You’re not allowed to humiliate me like this in the future!”
“That depends on the situation. Look at people like Minister Feng and Zhao Jingci. One was stationed at the border in the great desert for three years. After returning, the princess gave birth to a son. Old Feng still held a lively hundred-day feast. Old Zhao is even more sensible—the princess and a maidservant both gave birth to children. Old Zhao even announced to the outside that this was a heaven-bestowed child and showed extra love for that child. Although that child didn’t live to a hundred days, making Old Zhao grief-stricken, you at least still have seven months as an excuse. You’re much better off than them.”
“People are like this—others ride horses while I ride a donkey, but behind me there’s still a man carrying firewood. With this kind of mindset, it’s very easy to live happily.”
Xue Wanche shook the wine flask and said to Yun Ye: “It’s empty. Where did you get this wine from? Talking with you is really satisfying. His Majesty said there’s an alcohol ban on the ship—no wine to drink. The ship is your territory—surely this little matter can’t stump you?”
“What’s difficult about this? Those scoundrel sailors are all addicted to alcohol like their lives depend on it. There are only so many places to hide wine. It would be strange if there wasn’t wine in this wooden house.” Yun Ye casually opened several hidden compartments and found four gourds of wine. He placed them on the deck with a thump and said: “No good wine, make do with drinking. Your wife now specializes in the wine business—there must be plenty of good wine at home. When we reach Yuezhou, drinking wine will depend entirely on you. I’m bringing a whole large family—very inconvenient.”
“Naturally. At a time like this, why bother with so many formalities? Having wine is already good.” After speaking, he pulled out the gourd stopper and took a big gulp, saying: “Not bad. It’s distilled liquor that’s been through the steaming pot.”
Yun Ye handed a steamed bun to Xue Wanche and took one for himself. Drinking a mouthful of wine and eating a mouthful of steamed bun, the two of them discussed almost all of Chang’an’s secret stories, especially those matters between men and women.
“How is that possible? Didn’t Liu Hongji say that one kidney was carried away by someone’s lance during battle? How could he still have the energy to ruin Liu Mi’s concubine at a banquet?” Yun Ye’s mouth gaped wide in surprise.
“You don’t understand this. The two Lius originally had close family ties—yours, mine, who can tell them clearly apart? Moreover, when Old Liu got drunk, never mind women—even if you gave him a sow, there’d be no problem…”
Just as they were talking happily, the wooden house door opened. Xu Jingzong saw Yun Ye and Xue Wanche and didn’t seem surprised at all. Sitting across from them, he grabbed the wine gourd and after taking a big gulp, said: “I went to your cabin and didn’t see a soul. I figured you couldn’t sleep in that stinking cabin room and went straight to the kitchen wanting some food. Those eunuchs in charge of meals all had dead faces, saying this was the ship’s rule—after mealtime there’s no more food, and His Majesty also follows this rule. I could only search for you everywhere on an empty stomach to see if you had any solution. This old man, a dignified Vice Minister of the Secretariat, living worse than a regular official. The rules you’ve set on this ship are too strict.”
Yun Ye said with a straight face: “Without rules, there can be no standards. If the great army in naval warfare cannot even observe these regulations, how can there be combat effectiveness? His Majesty has long experienced the battlefield and naturally deeply understands the essence of this.”
Just after finishing these high-sounding official words, the fat face of that cook appeared. He lifted a very large basket and placed it at the entrance of the wooden house, saying: “Earlier I didn’t know the Grand Marshal had guests. This one feared the food wouldn’t be enough, so I specially brought some more. This one will go down now and stew two more fish.”
Xu Jingzong chuckled and flicked out a silver coin with his fingers. The fat cook caught it very skillfully, bowed at the waist, and withdrew. Xu Jingzong dragged the basket over, lifted the covering cloth, and said with a smile: “Not bad, not bad. There’s even beef specially supplied for His Majesty. Come, come, Old Xue, you’re a military general with a big appetite—this lamb leg is for you. Haha, there’s also a pot of wine. The braised eggs are quite good. Chicken feet have the most distinctive flavor. Come, Marquis Yun, dig in. You were just talking about Liu Hongji—what happened to Old Liu? I didn’t hear clearly just now…”
When men gossip, they often speak obscurely. After processing through their own minds and then speaking it out, it becomes even more sordid. Moreover, Xu Jingzong, this refined scoundrel, could always cite classics to verify the true side of matters.
Starting from Li Shimin sending two of Emperor Yang of Sui’s consorts to his father’s bed, talking about the story that had to be told between Li Yuan and Pei Yan, and then discussing how Li Yuanji’s consort appeared confusedly in Li’er’s harem—speaking with flying spittle everywhere.
In later generations, he had heard about “Tang turtles, Song snot.” Only now did he gain some understanding of it. This kind of unethical messing around, though said to be inheriting the Hu tradition of a younger brother marrying his elder brother’s widow—now that it was brought out as conversation material, it became the Li Tang’s greatest stain. Since they had become emperors of the Han people, they must observe Han people’s ethical morals. They couldn’t see that their brother’s wife was beautiful and pounce on her like hungry wolves. The Hu people’s rules were something Han people couldn’t accept.
A bright moon rose over the lake—precisely the time for private conversations. Beautiful scenery and good times for gossiping could almost rival situations like watching adult films on a snowy night. Unknowingly, it was already midnight. Xu Jingzong would die before returning to the sour-smelling cabin room. Xue Wanche believed he could make do on the floor for one night. Those Li family relatives were truly annoying—each one country-bumpkin stupid yet full of arrogance. I heard the Empress had been utterly fed up these past days.
Hearing Xu Jingzong say these words, and thinking about Yuezhou which they were about to reach, Yun Ye could almost certainly affirm that these people had all come to make a fortune. He just didn’t know how they planned to make their fortune. If they did business properly and yielded some profits, that wasn’t impossible. But if they wanted to seize by force and plunder, Yun Ye planned to make them roll back to their Jinyang hometown with bare buttocks.
Although Dongting Lake’s sunrise wasn’t as spectacular as a sunrise over the sea, watching the sun rise from Junshan Mountain still made one feel refreshed and happy. Xu Jingzong expressed that since boarding the Great Emperor, today’s breakfast was most to his taste. The cook knew the Grand Marshal liked fish congee and had already started cooking the congee before dawn.
Snow-white fish congee with scallions sprinkled on top smelled extraordinarily fragrant. Yun Ye drank two large bowls. Xu Jingzong wasn’t willing to be outdone. As for Xue Wanche, he took the remaining pot. This fellow’s spirits looked much better today. When Xu Jingzong joked about Danyang, he could also laugh heartily and respond, not caring at all. Yun Ye was right—marrying a princess was just an official duty.
After relaxing for a short while, Yun Ye saw Zhangsun’s personal maid appear before him. Her complexion looked very bad. It seemed Zhangsun’s complexion also couldn’t be much better, because Zhangsun’s personal maid’s expression was always exactly the same as Zhangsun’s.
“Auntie Hong, this nephew has discovered that ever since Auntie Yin left the imperial palace, your complexion has never been good. Your appearance like this makes this nephew’s heart thump wildly.” No matter what, flattery should be offered first.
“Stop being glib. The Empress summons you over. Hurry up. These past days have been deadly annoying. Those people from Jinyang surround His Majesty constantly talking about their hardships in the past. Now seeing others making fortunes while their own people eat dry rations, they beg His Majesty to take pity on these relatives. You don’t know—they also brought many younger generations, wanting to ask His Majesty to place them somewhere. They even say things like ‘our own country naturally must be watched by our own people to be at ease.'”
“They’re all unreliable characters. Even I look down on them, let alone His Majesty and the Empress. The imperial family’s properties are now managed by specialized talents to have what they have today. If these people mix in, they’ll anger Elder Sister Yin to death. Quickly think of a way to drive all these people away.”
As the two talked while walking toward the Empress’s cabin room, by the time they reached the cabin door, Yun Ye already knew what matters he was about to face. The Empress wanted to shed this burden like a cicada shedding its shell. It seemed these people had great influence.
Pushing the door open and entering, Yun Ye was nearly driven out by the heavy smell. No wonder Zhangsun’s fury had been so vigorous these past days. A whole room of white-bearded old men sat properly in chairs. Seeing Yun Ye enter, they all glanced at him in unison, snorted, and turned their heads away in unison.
Yun Ye was about to get angry when Zhangsun heavily snorted again. Yun Ye could only lower his head and casually bow his hands, considering it a greeting.
Zhangsun smiled and said to the leading old man: “Ninth Lord, Twelfth Lord, this is Marquis Lantian, Yun Ye. Although young, he possesses the abilities of Tao Zhugong. If you lords want to find a destination for your families’ idle money, listening to his opinion would be greatly beneficial.”
“Such a wet-behind-the-ears child also dares to discuss Tao Zhu? Although this old man lives in a desolate place guarding ancestral graves, there’s one thing I still know—that the world is full of those seeking empty fame and reputation. Having this old man hand over retirement money to him is inappropriate.”
After the old fellow finished speaking, he even glared at Yun Ye. The other old men also discussed among themselves. In short, nothing they said was good. Yun Ye saw the fury in Zhangsun’s eyes. Seeing the veins bulging on the back of her hand holding the fan, he knew the Empress was already at the edge of eruption. For some reason, she forcibly suppressed it.
Now it was his turn to step up. Yun Ye smiled and bowed his hands, saying: “I don’t know how much retirement money the seniors have. If it’s just a few silver coins, this junior will add some money and casually find a shop to invest in. After a year or half a year, distribute some dividends and that will be it. Presumably it will be enough for all you seniors to live several fat years.”
“Presumptuous! We old men have raised one hundred thousand silver coins this time. We came to the Central Plains to purchase goods, buy shops, and organize merchant caravans. You wet-behind-the-ears child actually dare to look down on us. This is one hundred thousand strings! Back when the Grand Emperor raised troops, we exhausted our family wealth to support the Grand Emperor with only sixty thousand strings. The Grand Emperor relied on these sixty thousand strings to raise a mighty army and ultimately swallow the world. Shouldn’t such huge capital be entrusted to a reliable person?” The old man became angry, stood up, pointed at Yun Ye, and cursed loudly.
Yun Ye looked at Zhangsun with difficulty and said: “Your Majesty, a business of one hundred thousand silver coins—this minister has never done such a thing. Generally, for transactions of this amount, they directly discuss with stewards. If this minister takes it on, people will laugh at me.”