HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 20: The Tragedy Sparked by Potatoes

Chapter 20: The Tragedy Sparked by Potatoes

Yun Ye saw Zhuang Santing and inwardly regretted his drooling image. A perfectly good noble, a perfectly good official of the seventh rank lower grade—now his image was completely ruined. Although his official credentials stated: Yun Ye, male, age fifteen, white face without beard, height over six chi, no disabilities, no birthmarks, native of Chang’an, in such-and-such year and such-and-such month achieved office of seventh rank lower grade as Secretary Registrar of Lanzhou Zhechong Prefecture, hereby officially certified.

At first glance, any fifteen-year-old male could impersonate this Secretary Registrar surnamed Yun. Niu Jinda had also extorted the remaining red oil from him, saying it was the hard work fee for writing the credentials. Looking at the crooked and twisted characters, no matter how Yun Ye looked at it, he felt his official certificate looked fake.

He told this doubt to Cheng Chumo, and this fellow burst into laughter. He went back to his tent, retrieved his own credentials, and showed them to Yun Ye. He saw that apart from name, native place, age, and official position, the other descriptions were completely identical to his own. Moreover, the characters were equally ugly. At a glance one knew they came from the same hand of Grandpa Niu.

Cheng Chumo pointed to the Ministry of Personnel’s large seal at the bottom of the credentials and told Yun Ye that the Left Guard of Martial Prowess had three such blank credentials in total, with the large seals already affixed. As long as it was seventh rank lower grade or below, filling in a name would make it effective—it would just need to be sent to the Ministry of Personnel for filing afterward. Therefore, Yun Ye had now truly and certainly become a Great Tang official of the seventh rank lower grade, equivalent to deputy division level in later generations.

Although the Tang dynasty at this time had instituted the imperial examinations, it was still only a small-scale supplement of officials. Large numbers of low-level officials still had to rely on recommendations from high court officials, such as the likes of Cheng Yaojin. If one could get recommendations from two high officials, it was a rare honor indeed. One must know that whoever recommended someone had to take responsibility.

Great Tang newly successful examination graduates who received office were also merely seventh rank lower grade. Since the Great Tang valued military over civil, Yun Ye’s seventh rank lower grade was even more rare. Most importantly, this was a watershed—a watershed separating commoners from the scholar-warrior class. These two were as different as earth and heaven.

Yun Ye now had quite the aristocratic bearing. Seeing Zhuang Santing kneeling before him, he could maintain a heart as calm as still water and an unchanged expression. Gone was the flustered situation when first arriving in the Tang dynasty and receiving others’ prostrations. Others who returned to ancient times influenced the ancients; he returned to ancient times and was influenced by the ancients. Who knew whether this was keeping pace with the times or corrupt decadence? In any case, he still very much enjoyed this feeling of success from being worshipped.

With great difficulty he pulled Zhuang Santing up—preventing himself from being worshipped was also physical labor. Yun Ye decided to do this less in the future. Afraid that Zhuang Santing would kneel down again, he asked in the gentlest voice: “Have your injuries fully healed? There’s nothing wrong?”

Zhuang Santing bowed and answered: “Thanks to the lord’s blessing, Santing’s body is now fine. Thank you, lord, for the grace of saving my life. If the lord has any use for Santing, I will certainly repay with my life.”

“Hehe, as long as your body is fine. Loyal and righteous people naturally have good fortune—this is also your good fortune for risking your life to save others. You need not thank me. Rather, I should thank you for saving Chumo. These days it’s been you looking after these potato seedlings?”

“Yes. This subordinate saw that the lord valued these small seedlings greatly and feared others wouldn’t care for them well. This humble one had nothing to do in his leisure time, and besides, this humble one also comes from a farming family, so I took it upon myself to undertake the important task of caring for the small seedlings. Please forgive this transgression, my lord.”

“Old Zhuang, you don’t know—these crude fellows in the army don’t understand what this really is. You come from a farming family, so you should understand what a new crop means to farming families. This thing is called potato. It’s accustomed to growing in sandy and dry land, and moreover has astonishing yield per acre. I’ve heard that in foreign lands this thing’s yield per acre once reached an astonishing fifteen dan, and it’s resistant to storage. From harvest, as long as it’s stored properly, it can be kept until the following year without spoiling. It’s suitable as vegetable or as grain. Even if poor families don’t eat grain and only eat potatoes, they can still survive. Now do you understand why I value these five large vats so much?”

Having finished speaking, Yun Ye discovered there was no response. Looking up, he saw Zhuang Santing with his mouth open, his eyes without any focus, his entire person completely in a state of mental wandering. He smiled secretly—never mind you, Zhuang Santing; even if His Majesty Li Er heard about this matter, his state wouldn’t be much better than Old Zhuang’s current condition.

Just as he was feeling smug, two large hands seized his shoulders and his body was physically lifted up. Turning his head to look, he discovered the pavilion outside was full of people—tall ones, short ones, old ones, young ones—all staring at him with blood-red eyes. It was even more terrifying than the wolf eyes he’d encountered on the wilderness. Niu Jinda held Yun Ye’s body and shook like he had malaria. After a long time, Old Niu finally squeezed several words from his mouth: “Boy, is what you said true?” His eyes half filled with hope, half filled with entreaty as he stared at Yun Ye.

“Uncle Niu, could you please put this nephew down first before I answer your question? This nephew is about to be pinched to death by you.” Yun Ye seemed to hear his shoulder blades making sounds.

“Won’t put you down! You answer now! If you dare deceive this old man, this old man will tear you apart!” Old Niu fell into a kind of frenzied state. If Yun Ye said a single word of “no,” this old ruffian probably really would tear him apart.

He didn’t dare follow Yuwen Chengdu’s fate. Yun Ye quickly said: “Uncle Niu, when this nephew climbed out of the water, I threw away all the precious calligraphy and paintings my teacher had collected and just held onto a few potatoes. On the wilderness I was half-starved to death but still couldn’t bear to eat them. Do you think this nephew would talk nonsense?”

“Why? Why didn’t you bring this thing out thirty years ago? Do you know how my father and mother, my older brother, my little sister died? They starved to death! With such a treasure, why do you only bring it out now? Sage, so what if you’re a sage? Do sages get to watch other people’s parents, brothers, and sisters starve to death? Having good things and only thinking of making money for yourself without caring whether others live or die—by what right?” Niu Jinda’s mouth sprayed spittle, his old tears flowed freely as he grabbed Yun Ye and shook him back and forth, as if Yun Ye were the chief culprit who’d killed his entire family.

Instead, Yun Ye wasn’t nervous anymore. He saw that kind of heart-piercing pain in Niu Jinda. Upon hearing that there was a crop never before seen that could allow people to easily obtain adequate food and clothing, the agitation of his alternating hope and anxiety had actually made him remember the tragic state of his parents, brothers, and sisters when they starved to death. So his madness erupted greatly. Emotions needed to be vented. Yun Ye didn’t mind letting his emotions be released through himself—of course, under the premise of not harming himself.

Just as he was pondering how to make Old Niu let go, a giant palm chopped at the side of Niu Jinda’s neck. Old Niu softly collapsed to the ground. Cheng Yaojin appeared with a dark face. That palm strike just now was delivered by his old man. He too had seen that Old Niu had fallen into madness. Afraid that Yun Ye would be injured, he decisively knocked out Niu Jinda.

Yun Ye also sat softly on the ground. His two arms hung at his sides without a shred of strength. Cheng Yaojin pulled open Yun Ye’s clothing and gasped. He saw two dark bruised handprints clearly visible on Yun Ye’s pale shoulders.

“This nephew is fine. Uncle need not worry. It’s just that my shoulders hurt severely and I can’t exert strength in my hands. After resting two days I’ll be fine. Uncle Niu’s spirit was agitated. Great sorrow injures the heart—he needs proper recuperation. Must not be careless.” Yun Ye said to Old Cheng with a smile.

“You boy have a big heart. In a life-or-death moment you can still be so calm. Hurt like this, you still care about Old Niu. If you don’t distinguish yourself in the future, that truly would be heaven refusing to tolerate it.” Old Cheng was very gratified that Yun Ye had such performance. He turned his head and rebuked the military officers surrounding them: “Old Niu has a violent temper. When anger rises to his head he can’t restrain himself. You’ve worked together for years—how could you not know to restrain him? Have all these years of meals been eaten into a dog’s belly? If not for this old man’s arrival, I fear Young Master Yun’s survival would be difficult to predict. As commanding generals, you don’t know resourcefulness. Each of you is hereby temporarily recorded for twenty military rod strikes. Next time if you offend again, both crimes will be punished together.”

All the military officers bowed to accept the order and clasped their fists toward Yun Ye in apology. Yun Ye said to everyone with a bitter smile: “Originally this was a happy matter. This boy’s thoughtless action has implicated all of you in punishment. When Yun Ye’s injury heals, I’ll properly cook a pot of meat to apologize to all you uncles, brothers, and elders.”

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