Zhangsun flipped the invitation over and over, not even sparing the opera synopsis on the back. To say something unbelievable—Zhangsun had actually never received an invitation before, not this kind of formal invitation that Yun Ye was giving her. When she wasn’t yet Empress, she would follow Li Er to gatherings, always playing second fiddle. Even if there were invitations, they would be addressed to Li Er; there would never be any possibility of her having an invitation all to herself.
“Little Princess Jinyang is still small and needs my care, so I probably can’t go.” Zhangsun felt somewhat regretful, but maternal instinct made her decline Yun Ye’s invitation anyway. Her young daughter needed to nurse, and Zhangsun personally breastfed all her children, never entrusting this to others.
“Your Majesty worries too much. The opera house has specially prepared a private box for you and His Majesty. Consider this outing as leisure, unrelated to state affairs or court politics—just purely going out to listen to musicians perform and singers entertain, and perhaps buy a few things you like to bring back. Let me tell you, Your Majesty, there are new-style dresses specially designed by the Academy’s seamstresses, several exquisitely beautiful jewelry pieces designed by the Gongshu family, new perfume manufactured by the Yun family—the name has already been chosen: Soul-Stealing and Spirit-Capturing.”
The personal female attendant widened her eyes and looked hopefully at the Empress. If the Empress went, she would definitely go too. If the Empress didn’t go, she could only hide in the palace and coax children. Now hearing Yun Ye’s introduction, after years of lonely palace life, she had long developed a heart that yearned to soar.
While Zhangsun hesitated, Yun Ye continued: “Your Majesty, regarding the matter of nursing the little princess, this subject has already thought it through. This is a baby bottle that I prepared for my own unborn child. Now I’m giving it to Your Majesty first. You only need to store your milk in the bottle, and when the princess is hungry, just warm it with hot water and you can feed the princess.”
Yun Ye pulled out a glass baby bottle from his bosom. The glass was easy to make, but the rubber nipple on top nearly drove Yun Ye to death. To find a clean and hygienic substitute, he used countless materials. Finally, with no other option, he had to pound beef tendons into pulp, boil them into glue, then press them into shape using a mold. Who knew that once the tendons dried, the damn nipple would immediately become hard as a rock—what child would like a rock-hard nipple?
Gongshu Mu initially didn’t know what Yun Ye was doing. After finding out, he laughed until he was breathless, repeatedly saying that Yun Ye was too clever for his own good—not using readily available materials but instead racking his brain and wasting effort, truly the height of foolishness. The old fellow would never pass up any opportunity to mock Yun Ye. He cut a white piece of wood from his own yard, broke the tree in half with his hands, handed a section to Yun Ye and said: “This stuff is everywhere in Guanzhong. Just carve it into a nipple shape with a knife and you’re done. It’s soft and very suitable. My great-grandson’s teething toy is made from this—absolutely no problem.” Yun Ye took it and squeezed it with his hand. His face immediately turned bright red. Damn it, how did he not think of cork?
Zhangsun was briefly stunned but surprisingly didn’t blush. Instead, she took the bottle and examined it carefully, even instructing a palace maid to wash it clean and pour some cow’s milk into it. She picked it up and sucked on it a few times, then turned it over to watch the white milk slowly slide down from the cork nipple. She put it in her mouth and bit it a few times, then nodded with great satisfaction and said to Yun Ye: “You inviting me to attend is not impossible, but this bottle now belongs to me.”
“It was originally meant as a gift for Your Majesty, so there’s nothing more to say.”
“What I mean is that this thing was made at my instruction—understand?” Zhangsun held the bottle, looking left and right, unable to put it down.
“This thing was originally made at Your Majesty’s instruction. If anyone dares question it, this subject will fight them to the death.”
Seeing Yun Ye puffing out his chest and raising his head with a righteous and loyal appearance, Zhangsun and her accomplice—that personal palace maid who had threatened Yun Ye together with her—nodded with satisfaction. The mistress and servant were equally wicked. The baby bottle was a small matter; as long as she was willing to go to the opera house tomorrow night as a living advertisement, it would be worth thousands. How much money could be made selling baby bottles?
Having settled matters with Li Er and his wife was a great achievement. Yun Ye walked with his hands behind his back, preparing to leave the palace leisurely. Just as he turned past the Taiji Palace, he saw a group of little princesses of various ages walking toward him. No choice—he had to avoid them. He was about to pass through a side door and go directly to the Eastern Palace to discuss with Li Chengqian whether he should stop asking him to be best man at his wedding. The Crown Prince’s best man was generally a royal family member; a small marquis like himself shouldn’t get involved.
“Hey, you stop right there!” A clear, charming shout forced Yun Ye to stop, because in this area there was only himself and those few princesses. Obviously she was calling him.
He turned around, and a little girl in a green dress came running toward him. He had to admit that Li Er’s daughters were all very beautiful, especially this one running toward him now. She was twelve years old, wearing her hair in buns, and had probably just gone fishing—she still held a bamboo fishing rod in her hand and had a fish basket hanging at her waist, looking quite the part. Just judging by her relaxed manner, there were definitely no fish in the basket.
“Yun Ye, why are you sneaking around? Did you steal something?” The little princess’s eyes examined Yun Ye from head to toe, looking like she’d caught a thief, very excited.
“Gao Yang, you still have that bad habit of jumping to conclusions. What in the imperial palace is worth me stealing? Look, there’s grass growing on the walls—it’s not as nice as my house. Two of the treasures here I donated myself. What are you showing off about?”
Regarding the future formidable Princess Gao Yang, Yun Ye never minced words. This girl had been spoiled rotten by Li Er—if he didn’t discipline her, who would?
“You dare say your house is better than the imperial palace? That’s courting death! I’m going to tell Father Emperor to hang you on a flagpole to dry.”
“I’m an important court minister. His Majesty won’t do anything to me. Gao Yang, I heard your fief is rich in pearls. When will you send me a bushel? Then I won’t punish Fang Yiai at the Academy. Otherwise, I’ll make him run while carrying stones every day and compress that tall fellow into a three-inch shorty.”
It was somewhat different from history—Gao Yang and Fang Yiai had a good relationship, which left Yun Ye somewhat puzzled.
“That fool? Even if you torture him to death I wouldn’t care. Oh right, last time I heard Brother Li Ke say you replaced Brother Li You’s heart with a big sheep’s heart. Is that true?”
Gao Yang moved closer to Yun Ye with a gossipy expression. It was hot, and she wore nothing under her outer garment, not even a bodice. Half her chest was exposed—this was purely intentional. This girl was a vixen.
Taking a step back, Yun Ye said matter-of-factly: “His original heart had already been clouded by filth, preventing him from learning the new learning. I had no choice but to give him a new heart. Didn’t Li You tell you that at midnight his heart hurts terribly? A few days ago Her Majesty even asked whether you all should also attend the Academy to learn some new learning, so you could better manage your fiefs in the future. I very much look forward to your arrival. You’re so proud—you also won’t be able to accept the new learning. Perhaps you’ll also need a new, humble heart. How about—a cow’s heart?”
Yun Ye’s voice suddenly became sinister. Thinking of Li Ke’s tearful account and Li You’s agonized appearance, Gao Yang involuntarily shivered. She looked down at her own chest, not daring to imagine what it would be like if she were fitted with a cow’s heart. She screamed and ran away, as if Yun Ye were the most terrifying demon in the world. Li You having his heart replaced—none of the elders believed it, but Gao Yang believed it, because Li Ke never lied to her.
Gao Yang ran off, and Princess Lan Ling came over, dragging a small dog—a curly-haired Pekingese. Looking at Yun Ye, she said loudly: “Dogs are very cute! Why are they called one of Chang’an’s Three Pests along with you?”
How could he tell this girl that Pekingese dogs were notorious for biting men’s private parts? The ten-year-old girl wasn’t quite big but wasn’t quite small either. He could only change the subject: “I like to eat dog meat, so it has the honor of being listed as one of the Three Pests.”
“Your cooking is delicious. Shall we eat this dog?” Lan Ling became even happier hearing this explanation. She also liked eating dog meat.
The Pekingese at their feet was still circling around Yun Ye’s feet obliviously, unaware that its owner had already taken a fancy to its meat.
There was nothing to say to this heartless, traitorous little girl. He could only cover his face and flee. Behind him the little princess kept saying tempting things about how fat this dog already was.
In the imperial palace, only the Eastern Palace was pure land. Li Chengqian was working, sitting in a chair conferring with someone in whispers. Li Chengqian sat behind a tall desk, constantly sketching something with a writing brush. Seeing he was busy, Yun Ye went directly to the garden, planning to find him after he finished his work.
The garden was very quiet. He called for an inner servant to bring him a reclining chair, brew a pot of tea, and prepared to nap for a moment. By the time he woke up, the tea should be cool—perfect for drinking deeply.
While sleeping groggily, a voice sounded by his ear: “Marquis Yun, will you truly not give us survivors a way to live?”
This wasn’t a dream. Yun Ye heard it very clearly.
He turned over and sat up, looking around. There was no one beside him, only an elderly eunuch weeding under a tree. Fixing his gaze on the old eunuch, Yun Ye said: “My not speaking up has already given you a way to live. Don’t interfere with Li Anlan’s affairs, and don’t touch my child. Otherwise, I’ll make you wish for death.”
Sure enough, that ethereal voice drifted over again: “The princess has gone too far—we have no way to reach her. Your servants won’t let us approach the princess, and the princess seems to trust your people more. After all, you are her man. We only seek a way to live. Yesterday, two more old palace maids committed suicide. Marquis Yun, we are lowly people, our lives worth less than grass. We only want a way to live when we’re old. Please, Marquis Yun, show mercy.”
Not seeing him speak meant only one possibility. Having seen many folk experts with unusual skills, Yun Ye said directly: “You think knowing ventriloquism makes you remarkable? If you have hands and feet, can’t you make your own way? If I help you, with ambition expanding unchecked, you’ll grow into venomous dragons yourselves. In the future you’ll breed disasters—the hard-won peaceful realm might fall into chaos and division. The consequences are too severe. I dare not act.”