HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 24: Life

Chapter 24: Life

When Xinyue woke up, she found herself lying on her husband’s back, her legs wrapped around his waist, a pair of warm hands supporting the roots of her thighs. This made her somewhat bashful.

Seeing his wife had awakened, Yun Ye mischievously grabbed a handful of Xinyue’s plump thigh root and let out a soft laugh.

In the empty mountain valley, there were only two people. This emboldened Xinyue. She opened her mouth and latched onto her husband’s ear, unwilling to bite down hard—at most, she was just holding it.

“You were bitten by a snake, but don’t worry. The snake wasn’t poisonous. I washed it with water for you. When we get home, I’ll wash it again with alcohol and there won’t be any problem. However, you should still use some penicillin to prevent inflammation.”

Xinyue couldn’t hear what her husband was saying. She was just earnestly feeling the friction of their skin against each other. This made her feel very comfortable. Her arms embraced her husband’s neck as she tilted her head to look at the moon in the sky.

Tonight’s moon wasn’t large and was somewhat incomplete, but its brightness was very sufficient. Except for the darkness in the mountain shadows, everywhere the moonlight reached was a sheet of silvery white.

The valley had originally been filled with insect chirping, but intimidated by her husband’s heavy footsteps, they all closed their mouths.

“Your weight has increased quite a bit!”

Xinyue knew her husband was already tired, but she didn’t want to get down from his back. Holding on tightly, she said softly: “When I entered the door, you also carried me like this. Why didn’t you say anything then?”

“At that time, I was a poor young fellow. Being able to carry a wife home was already good enough. How would I dare be picky about whether she was heavy or light? Carrying her home quickly to consummate the marriage was what mattered. These years have really fattened you up quite solidly, haha…”

Thinking of how she looked when she got married, Xinyue also laughed. At that time, her hair was black and thick. Accustomed to wearing a maiden’s hairstyle, she couldn’t manage to coil it into a married woman’s bun no matter what. It was only after her aunt got ruthless and used three combs to pin down her hair that those locks were finally tamed…

“You know what? Just now under the moonlight, while washing the wound on your calf, my lustful nature surged. I groped you thoroughly, haha. Who told you to wrap yourself up so tightly these past few years? Even when you get into bed, you put on nightclothes and tie the sash tight, guarding against me like guarding against a thief… Ha, tonight I finally got my fill.”

Xinyue sighed and said: “Other families’ women, when they reach my age, their husbands don’t touch them anymore. Many rely on picking up beans to endure the long nights. Women’s books say that by this time, women shouldn’t harbor improper thoughts.”

“Nonsense! And then every single one gets turned into a pervert? While their own men can go find young ones? Don’t believe that crap. Marrying a wife to use for only twenty years—what a loss!”

Xinyue shyly and angrily slapped her husband on the head, but she held him even tighter. Yun Ye quickened his pace. Ahead was a bend in a small stream. Xinyue’s calf needed to be washed more carefully. The ice-cold spring water could also help reduce the swelling.

Hearing her husband’s heavy panting, Xinyue wanted to get down, but he stopped her: “Just lie properly on my back. Your fleshiness is comfortable. What do you think Shou’er’s expression would be if we gave him a little brother?”

Xinyue burst out laughing. It seemed her husband’s mischievous nature couldn’t be changed. But it was precisely this kind of person that she treasured. She had seen two emperors as well—they were just so-so.

The ice-cold stream water poured over the burning wound, bringing indescribable comfort. Xinyue watched her sweat-covered husband use a handkerchief to clean her wound. She couldn’t help but reach out and catch a drop of sweat, placing it in her palm to look at. Before long, the sweat disappeared, seemingly seeping into her palm. People say that husband and wife are originally one body—it seemed to be true.

At the source of the stream was home—still the five spacious thatched rooms. Xinyue saw Xiao Miao coming out with a lantern to look for her, and felt somewhat annoyed. She didn’t know where this anger came from, but in any case, she was very angry, to the point that even her breathing became rapid.

Yun Ye seemed to see through Xinyue’s thoughts. He patted her leg, carefully helped her put on her shoes, once again picked her up on his back, and walked toward the direction Xiao Miao was coming from, shouting as he walked: “No need to search—aren’t we back?”

Xiao Miao had sharp eyes. She immediately saw the handkerchief wrapped around Xinyue’s leg and asked urgently: “Were you injured?”

“Bitten by a snake. Fortunately, it wasn’t a poisonous snake—one of those greenish cauliflower snakes. I caught it and brought it back. Tomorrow I’ll skin it and make snake stew. How dare it bite my wife—it’s asking for it!”

Once Xiao Miao arrived, Xinyue lost her interest in talking. She just hummed twice in response to Xiao Miao’s inquiries, which counted as an answer. When Xiao Miao said she would accompany her husband tomorrow night to catch crickets, Xinyue flatly refused. Tomorrow night, she would still go.

When the rooster crowed the next day, Lingdang was making a fire to cook. The Yun family unanimously believed that the reason Yun Ye liked to live in the barren mountains was to reminisce about his time living in the barren mountains with the founding ancestor. So every year in July and August, Yun Ye, his four wives, and the children would live in this desolate ravine on Yushan, chopping firewood themselves, feeding horses, carrying water, cooking meals. Except for the household guards stationed at a distance, they didn’t bring a single servant. This had already become a custom in the Yun household.

Yun Lu and Yun Xiang had already blossomed into two beautiful young ladies. Early in the morning, they carried baskets, bringing their younger sister and dragging their four-year-old younger brother out to pick golden flower vegetables—actually alfalfa sprouts. Ever since Zhang Qian brought this thing back inside the passes, it quickly became one of the most important fodder plants for livestock. Not only did livestock like this thing, but people also loved eating it. The entire Yun family liked eating things served cold and dressed, and only Wang Cai liked eating them without any seasoning.

Xinyue rarely slept in late. Last night, the couple’s spirits had been very high, and her body was very fatigued. This wasn’t the Yun family’s great mansion—there weren’t so many rules to observe. So Yun Ye let her sleep a bit longer.

Early in the morning, he naturally needed to help his wife get revenge. This wasn’t the first time eating snake meat in this desolate valley. Yun Zheng took a knife and chopped down a finger-thick tree branch from a tree, then sharpened the remaining half of the branch stub. Na Rimu grabbed the damned snake from the bamboo basket, and without thinking, skewered it on that half branch stub.

Na Rimu was very skilled at skinning. She used her small knife studded with gemstones to cut a T-shaped wound on the coiled snake’s neck, used her long fingernails to gently tear open the snake skin, and when she could grasp it with her hands, she pulled hard. With a tearing sound, the entire snake skin was completely torn off. Lingdang covered her eyes, not daring to look. Xiao Miao didn’t feel anything at all and held a small basin, ready to take the snake to wash it once Na Rimu finished processing it.

Making snake stew was delicate work, so Yun Ye had to do it himself. The snake meat cut into small segments had the blood water drained off. Without adding anything, he just cooked it like this. After the snake meat had completely fallen off the bones, he threw away the bones and broke up the snake meat, added seasonings, and a pot of stew full of meat threads was ready—a supreme delicacy under heaven.

His daughters returned. The basket was filled with alfalfa sprouts, green and glistening, quite attractive. His son was soaking wet all over. Yun Lu’s floral skirt was tucked at her waist, exposing her fair little legs. She was also wet on half her body. One arm carried the basket while one hand grabbed Yun Lei’s ear, looking quite angry.

Yun Ye saw this and smiled silently with his mouth open. Yun Lu had the manner of a small farming household’s daughter—she looked extremely simple and honest. This kind of daughter would attract people’s affection.

“Fourth Mother, Xiao Lei refused to walk properly on the road and insisted on jumping into the stream. You must discipline him!”

Xiao Miao’s method of disciplining her son was very simple. She lifted him up and gave Yun Lei two hard slaps on the buttocks. This was all her technique. Yun Lei had long stopped fearing this. Annoyed, he rubbed his buttocks, pawed at his ears twice, then ran before Yun Ye, calling out for his father and asking for something to eat.

After mother had shown her authority, father couldn’t beat or scold him anymore. Yun Ye led his son back to the room to change clothes. He had just stripped the little fellow naked and was wrapping him in a large towel to wipe his body when Li Tai came in. This fellow had a skill that ordinary people couldn’t match—he could always show up when the Yun family had delicious food.

Li Tai poked at Yun Lei’s little penis and said with a laugh: “The dignified Invincible Valiant General, the dignified Duke of Chu, the dignified scholarly authority of a generation—actually doing work that only women and girls do. If the world knew, they would certainly criticize you for not attending to proper duties.”

Yun Ye replied dismissively: “This is what I should be doing. As for releasing horses into the Western Regions, dominating the court, citing classics in the Academy—those are things I do when I’m idle with nothing to do.”

“Hehe, truly putting your horses to pasture on the southern mountain and your weapons into storage. Speaking of which, Hypatia sent me to ask when you’ll marry Xiang’er over. My son is already sixteen years old, and Xiang’er is seventeen. It’s time.”

Yun Ye looked at Li Tai for quite a while before sighing and saying: “Your mixed-blood son—must he marry Xiang’er? My family has pure Han bloodline. What if the bloodline gets corrupted?”

Li Tai couldn’t stand hearing this phrase the most. He grabbed Yun Ye’s collar and said, spraying saliva: “Isn’t your eldest daughter also mixed-blood? How can you talk about my son like that?”

Yun Ye said helplessly: “That’s different. Xiao Mu has Master Yan personally vouching and acknowledging her as a descendant of our Han family. Your son doesn’t have this protective talisman. If they get married and later give me a blue-eyed grandson, others will question the Yun family’s bloodline. I plan to build the Yun family into a hereditary great clan. The bloodline cannot be mixed!”

Li Tai released Yun Ye’s collar and nodded, saying: “That makes sense. Who should I find to prove my son’s bloodline? My father emperor won’t do, my elder brother won’t do either. Even now, people still say our family are Xianbei people.”

“Fool! That old scoundrel Yuan Shoucheng has come back to life. Go find him. He’s a natural-born swindler and will definitely give you a perfect answer. Never mind that your son has blue eyes—even if he had red eyes, he could handle it. Once you get this matter settled, it won’t be too late to come propose marriage.”

Yun Ye finished dressing his son, then stuffed a sauced bone from yesterday into the child’s hand for him to gnaw on. Children of this age were at just the right time to practice their biting strength…

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