History books praised the Music of the Qin King Breaking Through Enemy Lines as solemn, orderly, and imposing. In fact, in Yun Ye’s view, it was all rather crude. The dancers didn’t jump high enough, their leg splits weren’t straight enough, their coordination wasn’t orderly enough, and the accompaniment sounded more like noise than music. Especially since Li Er had personally arranged this piece—one could imagine how terrible it was.
Fortunately, even terrible disasters eventually pass. Amidst the crowd’s frenzied clamor, the drums stopped beating, the gongs stopped ringing, and the demonic Kuchean music receded. Finally this ordeal was over. Before he could feel relieved, chaotic flattering shouts of “His Majesty is victorious in every battle, may he live ten thousand years without end” came rolling in. Hearing Li Baiyao’s cheers beside him, Yun Ye had no choice but to join in shouting too.
Staggering out and pushing open the door, he leaned on the railing and rested for a long while before recovering. Next time there was a gathering with the Music of Breaking Through Enemy Lines, he wouldn’t go even if beaten to death. He Shao, face glowing red and voice hoarse, came looking for Yun Ye to ask about the next steps. From his state, Yun Ye could tell he was thoroughly enjoying this feeling, especially when Li Er finally appeared on the terrace waving repeatedly—quite a few people were in tears.
“What else can we do? Proceed according to the plan we discussed. The song and dance will last at most half an hour. After that, it’s up to you. I can’t appear. Make them happy, then we’ll start the auction. Success or failure hinges on this.”
“That martial performance just now was truly spectacular. My nose is about to bleed.” He Shao licked his thick lips and said: “Many people still aren’t satisfied. How about we do it again?”
With kicks and blows, he chased the idiot away. Lying straight on the wide railing, he needed to rest well. He really didn’t dare enter the venue again. Someone grabbed Yun Ye’s sleeve. Turning his head, he saw it was Shishi and Xinyue. Smiling with difficulty, he said: “Why aren’t you going in? The song and dance are very good. Don’t mind me, I’m just a bit tired. I’ll be fine after resting a while.”
“Your wife will just stay here with you without talking. You lie down for a bit. I’ll hold onto you.” Xinyue had been crying. Who had bullied her?
Just as he was about to ask, Xinyue pressed his hand to her face, tears flowing even more.
“No one bullied me, and no one dares bully me. I just feel bad seeing you so exhausted. You alone have to deal with everyone in the entire theater. I’m afraid you’ll exhaust yourself. Brother Ye, let’s forget about the money. Can we go home? I’ll attend to you while you sleep, tucked in warmly, not worrying about anything. Go home and sleep until dawn, just like when we were newly married—is that okay?”
These words nearly brought Yun Ye to tears. But it wouldn’t do! Everyone in here owed him debts—how could he not collect them? This time he was going to empty out Chang’an and make all these fellows owe Li Er’s death debts too. He couldn’t be weak.
He tried to spring up like a carp but couldn’t manage it, so he could only climb up. Moving his neck, he said to Xinyue: “What do women understand? Go watch your song and dance properly, watch your opera and live happily—that’s what matters. Other matters are men’s business. Don’t ask. I won’t die yet.”
After speaking, he pushed Xinyue and Shishi inside. He himself came to a window and looked in through the lattice. He saw Lady Guan’s sleeves flying everywhere—three or four zhang long sleeves, who knew how she managed to wave them. This was much harder than wielding meteor hammers. Her slender waist could barely be grasped, but below it expanded dramatically. Her round bottom only had thin gauze stretched over it. Damn, last time at Yan Lai Tower she hadn’t performed like this. As soon as the Emperor arrived, she practically wanted to strip naked. Vixen!
Yun Ye didn’t remember saying the word “vixen” aloud. Could it be an echo? An echo that could speak one’s thoughts was rare. Hearing movement behind him, he turned to look and saw many female family members had run out. Lady Guan’s sensual dance wasn’t something these women could endure. Besides, it wasn’t originally meant for women to watch. They’d probably escaped specifically because they couldn’t stand their own men’s ugly behavior.
His ear tightened. Madam Cheng was already furious, grabbing Yun Ye’s ear and demanding: “Perfectly good song and dance—how did you find a vixen to cause trouble? Look inside! They’re all practically drooling. Where’s any dignity?”
Once she spoke up, a group of older women surrounded him. Some were even rolling up their sleeves. Just at this critical moment, He Shao crawled out again, shouting at Yun Ye: “Brother Ye, Brother Ye, come quick and look! Lady Guan is imitating the flying apsara playing the pipa backwards!”
Good brother! Having seen something stimulating, he came to find Yun Ye to watch together.
“All you aunties, this matter of hiring these singers—your nephew truly didn’t know. It was all He Shao doing it. Why don’t you ask him?” Brothers were sometimes meant to be sold out, especially in situations like this.
Great Tang women were fierce, especially Fang Xuanling’s wife. The snow-white cat she held in her arms shrieked as it flew toward He Shao. Even more terrifying, Yuchi’s wife knew martial arts, and quite well. She lifted her skirt and her foot shot out, kicking He Shao hard in the stomach. He Shao’s waist bent and he squatted on the ground vomiting bile. Those women punched and kicked, some even stabbing with hairpins. Watching made Yun Ye shudder.
After finally venting their anger, He Shao was lying spreadeagled on the ground with several delicate footprints even in his groin area. The women, necks raised high, entered the theater again. Yun Ye quickly picked up Old He. His face was swollen, clutching his groin and crying out miserably. After a while, Old He stopped crying and said to Yun Ye: “This beating can’t be for nothing. When I do the auction later, can I swindle a few people?”
“As long as you’re willing, I don’t mind even if you swindle me.”
“Such a pity! You didn’t see Lady Guan’s buttock-tightening, chest-thrusting backward pipa playing. That leg raised so high—if only the lights had been brighter.” Old He had become experienced even at taking beatings. Although his face was black and blue, it didn’t hinder his movement. Just those several bloody marks on his back looked frightening.
“How can this Lady Guan be so improper? His Majesty and Her Majesty are watching! What kind of propriety is this?” Speaking of this matter, Yun Ye was annoyed. This wasn’t a brothel but a stage. Such bold performance wouldn’t be much in later eras, but in Great Tang, it was absolutely indecent.
“Lady Guan asked me if she could make a small modification, and I agreed. How would I know she could dance, and dance so seductively?” He Shao just couldn’t resist women. He already had seven or eight concubines at home, yet still didn’t reform. This beating wasn’t unjust.
Inside there was commotion again. Yun Ye quickly looked in. Fortunately Gongshu was dancing with a sword, and her clothing was still fairly proper. Only as she danced, the sword in her hand flew out. Just as it was about to pierce the chest of the merchant in front, it folded back and flew back. Looking carefully, there was a white silk ribbon tied to the sword hilt, controlling the sword flying everywhere. Could this be what Du Fu’s poem described: “One dance with sword weapons moves all directions. Observers like mountains lose color, heaven and earth long oscillate. Swift as Yi shooting down nine suns, graceful as emperors riding dragon-drawn chariots. Coming like thunderbolt gathering rage, stopping like river and sea condensing clear light”? No need to condense any clear light now—they were all scared senseless. That merchant was foaming at the mouth, and people beside him were covering their noses. No need to get close to know what happened.
One performed the famous Huntuo Dance, one played the extremely dangerous Sword Dance—both brought out their signature skills just to win Li Er’s smile. Now Li Er had long surpassed Bao Si’s standard. All Great Tang’s people made him their public relations target. Truly enviable.
Others going wild didn’t matter, but Zhangsun going wild could be fatal. He quickly came before the Emperor’s box and asked the eunuch to announce him. Entering the box, he discovered Li Er watching with delight, and Zhangsun also smiling, continuously commenting. The couple both seemed to be enjoying themselves.
Preparing to quietly retreat again, Li Er spoke: “Very interesting. Have this Gongshu enter the palace to teach some dancing girls sword dancing.” So he’d developed lustful intentions?
Looking at Zhangsun’s unperturbed appearance, he could only bow and agree. Miss Gongshu must have been anxiously awaiting this news.
Finally the sound of stringed and woodwind instruments came. The pipa performed heavenly music. Several famous ventriloquists vividly portrayed the tranquil atmosphere of deep mountain forests. A bamboo-woven snake covered with dyed hemp cloth—one white, one green—slithered around on an artificial mountain, eyes one ghostly green, one fiery red. Under the lamplight rendering, they seemed like two real snakes. The theater immediately quieted down. Red snake tongues kept extending and retracting—these were played by Academy students. The singing girls couldn’t do it. A burst of fireworks rose, obscuring the snake bodies. When the fireworks dissipated, two charming women lay on the ground, one in green, one in white, in the manner of just awakening from sleep…
Yun Ye had no time to watch these crude and shoddy things. Backstage with He Shao, he prepared for the auction. Yun family servants held sandalwood boxes in their hands, sitting backstage, each numbered without the slightest disorder.
First to be auctioned was golden thread nanmu wood, with a floor price of three hundred strings, selling only ten logs. The rest was prepared to be sold at higher prices after finishing building palaces. Purple rice hadn’t even been put up for sale before being divided up by the imperial family, Yun family, Cheng family, Niu family, and Qin family. This was excellent for health cultivation, only available in Longyan Creek, produced in small quantities. The price wasn’t expensive, but no one knew about it.
There were less than two incense sticks of time before the drama ended. Those below probably heard that laugh-inducing love line and sighed endlessly. In the blink of an eye, wild winds arose, the earth shook and mountains swayed. Little Green was shot dead by a golden-armored deity with one arrow. White Snake, pregnant, struggled desperately against the gods. A baby’s cry pierced the heavens. The deity holding a three-pronged heaven-supporting fork was about to stab down but couldn’t. Yuchi, whiskers bristling, snatched the fork and even kicked the deity off the stage. Despite such idiotic behavior, people below still cheered. Probably feeling something was wrong, Yuchi returned the fork to the climbing golden-armored deity and sheepishly went down the stage himself, squatting below to watch.
Through the gap, Yun Ye saw the Li Er couple laughing so hard they bent backward, only stopping their laughter when the old monk Fa Hai holding a begging bowl walked up.
“Evil creature, people have the way of people, demons have the way of demons. If you disrupt the heavenly order and privately unite with mortals, your crime is unforgivable. This old monk will press you under Lei Feng Pagoda. When the pagoda falls, you shall live.”
Watching the huge begging bowl descend from above, White Snake shrieked and threw the child to bald Xu Xian in the distance. The bowl thundered down. A tall stone pagoda painted on a curtain stood in the center of the stage…
The play was finished. The auction was about to start. He Shao was in difficulty—his eyes were swollen into slits. Tonight wouldn’t work. He’d have to take the stage himself.